Chain Reaction
by araeo
Summary: A chance encounter with a stranger on the ferry is the spark that sets off a chain of events. By the time Bella realizes what's happening, is it too late to change her mind? What happens when fate grabs you and won't let go? AU/OOC B/E
1. Catalyst

_**I don't own Twilight.**__**  
**__**  
**__**Chain Reaction:**_

_A self-sustaining reaction that, once started, continues without further outside influence.__1_

-o-

_"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."__  
__- Carl Jung _

_

* * *

_

**-Chapter 1: Catalyst**-

When I was a little girl, I always expected to meet the man of my dreams in an overly dramatic, romanticized situation, like in a classic movie or from the pages of a beloved novel. Maybe he'd rescue me from the mustache-twirling villain as I was being tied to some train tracks. Maybe he'd pull me from a runaway horse, or yank me from the path of an oncoming car. Maybe I was destined to marry the Dread Pirate Roberts and sail away on the pirate ship _Revenge. _

I met Edward on a boat. A very large boat ―the morning ferry commute from Bremerton to Seattle.

Content with my life, I wasn't looking for anything...I was happy in my safe little rut. But that's the funny thing about Fate ― it often strikes when you least expect it. Mine came in the form of blazing toffee-colored eyes, a wicked smile, and a mane of unkempt golden and chestnut hair.

What I didn't realize at the time was that Edward is a paradox.

Edward is not the man of my dreams. It's sort of impossible when I can't have them anymore.

This isn't a love story. This is a seduction. A complete persuasion of mind, body, and soul. Of behavior and beliefs. And I wouldn't change it for the world...I think.

-o-

"Crap," I muttered to myself as the book slid out of my grasp, pausing to carefully place my dangerously full coffee on an empty seat and depositing a paper bag ― containing the chocolate croissant I was _definitely _not supposed to be eating ― right next to the paper cup. When I turned to retrieve the wayward paperback, I came face to face with someone's chest. A hard swell must have rocked the ferry, and the movement sent me falling into him. I smashed my nose right against his sternum, just hard enough to bring the sting of tears to my eyes. It was like running into a brick wall.

The pain was soon forgotten as woods and salt-air filled my nostrils, an essence that lurked just beneath the clean linen scent of fabric softener. Before I knew it, I was inhaling deeply, and the realization that I was blatantly _sniffing_ a perfect stranger sent me jerking back, my face flaming with scalding heat. Sweet Jesus, but everything about him hit me like a battering ram. _It's okay to look, Bella. There's nothing wrong with a little harmless ogling._

"I'm sorry! It's windy today. The waves," I blurted. _Great. I'm talking to him about the weather? _I blinked to clear my watering eyes and began a more thorough inspection of the sight in front of me. The top of my head barely reached the man's shoulders, which left me staring straight at his chest.

And what a nice chest it was. Pale skin, with a sparse smattering of reddish-brown hair peeked through the opened top button of his dress shirt, inspiring all sorts of really dirty thoughts ― all featuring him, me, and a locked door somewhere on the ferry. Maybe there was some type of maritime version of the Mile High club? The Love at Ten Knots club? Maybe we could make one up, together? _Where the hell are these thoughts coming from? It's not like me at all! What about Tyler?__  
__  
__Wait a minute...is his chest moving at all? Is he holding his breath?__  
_  
"No, it was my fault." His voice hypnotized me, combining with the scents of spice and sin and weaving the perfect illusion, the most beautiful mirage. His was a voice I wanted to hear panting in my ear, muffled from pressing his lips to my neck, and whispering along the length of my spine. _Stop it, Bella! You just can't be thinking things like this._

_Wow_. I'd never experienced such an intense attraction to someone before, but why did I have another, equally strong instinct to run? This particular combination of basic human impulses was a first for me.

_Why. Can't. I. Stop. Staring?_

This feeling, this instant, overwhelming attraction, called forth instinct that couldn't be ignored. That, I understood. It was just an odd byproduct of some ancient genetic code hidden within my cells. Thinking about it in biological terms made this..._whatever_ it was more manageable. Feeling just a bit more confident, I smiled as he backed away and bent to retrieve my book. A hint of something played at the corner of his mouth as he read the title, some strangely appealing mix of smirk and grin.

"_The Gospel According to Biff," _he said, holding it out for me to take. "You like a little blasphemy with your breakfast, do you?" The amusement just dripped from his voice, but what really captured my attention was the underlying current of darkness that hid beneath the charm. "We seem to have that in common." For a few eternal seconds, I struggled to formulate some kind of response.

Then my reflexes kicked in, and the laughing started ― not a ladylike giggle, but the full-on, obnoxious, _my Lord, I'm trying WAY too hard _kind of laughing. I shut my mouth abruptly, wishing I could rewind the last couple minutes. _Someone, please give me a Mulligan. A do-over_. _An old Delorean and a flux capacitor._

"So you've read it, then? _Lamb, _I mean," I said quickly, willing to ride out the humiliation if it meant I could keep talking to him. I didn't understand it. A frisson of _something_ trickled down my spine, some long-buried survival instinct slowly coming to life. The curiosity and attraction was intense, yet goose flesh prickled the back of my neck, the little hairs standing on end.

"I just love it. I feel so awful about it, but I laugh through the whole book. When they're learning to be stone-workers and they decide to circumcise the Romans' statue and end up cutting the penis completely off―"_ Oh...my...God. I've just tried to begin a conversation with a man by discussing the accidental unmanning of a pagan effigy._

He stared at me intently, toffee-colored eyes pinning me more effectively than a bug collector's stickpin. A slight frown flashed across his expression before he seemed to change his mind, and his face lightened with a full-fledged grin.

"What?" I stuttered, trying not to giggle embarrassingly.

"It's one of my favorite books," he answered, his hand reaching out, as if to touch my arm in reassurance. My heart sped up in anticipation of a contact that never came, but he'd come so close, I swore I could feel it in my bones. The pang of disappointment that rocked me when he dropped his hand was even more intense.

"Oh," I said quietly.

"It's somewhat...heartening to think that even Jesus ran with the vandals as a boy," he murmured dryly, raising his hand to his mouth and rubbing at his lips. It was the hand he'd almost touched me with. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed and lowered his arm, licking his lip, the dull rose color made richer by the wet shine.

"'Vandals?'" I laughed, rocking back on my heels nervously. The old-fashioned word sounded strange coming from his lips. I couldn't quite discern his age. By my estimation, he was anywhere from late teens ― which would make me a very, very bad girl ― to mid twenties, like me. His frame, however, suggested he was on the older edge of the spectrum. He looked tired, the distinct lavender smudges beneath his eyes making him look a little world-weary. Something about it made me want to give him comfort. _  
__  
__Everything about him invites me in._

Clear, deep toffee-brown irises ringed pupils bright with intensity, drawing my eyes and refusing to let go. His hair was a tangled but still-attractive mess, and a little on the long side. His face was clean-shaven, but I could barely see new growth beginning to shade his sharp jaw. The all-black clothes and his slightly drawn demeanor made him look more sinner than saint, like he was more comfortable with a few coarse words rather than embellished formal speech.

"You know, the chisel-wielders," he returned, miming a chiseling action and flashing me a quick grin that had me imagining my heart was beating faster. I suddenly felt like I was in that 'David Goes to the Dentist' video on YouTube. _Is this real life? __  
__  
__God, I hope so._

_No, I _don't_ hope so. I'm afraid..._

The ferry lurched ahead, sending me falling right into his chest again. He was prepared this time, catching me with hard arms around my back. He was cool, but not clammy. Definitely not warm. It was over too soon, but I took comfort in the way his fingertips lingered on my upper arms, as if he didn't want to let me go.

"And away we go..." he whispered with a frown, more to himself than as part of our stilted conversation. Gesturing to the seats next to us, he continued, "We might as well sit."

_Oh, wow! He wants to sit and talk! Don't blow it, Bella..._

"Oh, yeah..." Quickly gathering up my things, I plopped ungracefully into a seat, thanks to the whitecaps that dotted the sound this morning.

"What have you got there?" he asked curiously, pointing to my bakery bag, as he chose the seat beside me.

"Chocolate croissant," I said guiltily. "My only vice." _Besides entertaining very inappropriate thoughts about handsome strangers on the ferry... What if he's a serial killer? Washington isn't exactly devoid of sociopathic white males with an affinity for stalking and killing women..._

I _did _have that pepper spray in my bag. Thank goodness for Charlie's paranoia.

"Makes it taste that much better, don't you think?"

I gulped at the low, devilish tone in his voice. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Let me introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen," he said confidently, holding out his hand. It was smooth and hard, just like the rest of him, and the contact was over all too quickly. _  
__  
__And cool...his hand is very, very cool._

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"I don't suppose you'd be open to sharing your pastry?" he asked with a sly grin.

My mind plummeted straight to the gutter faster than an overfilled elevator with no brakes. I really, _really_ wanted to share my 'pastry.' Metaphorically speaking. As wrong as it was, I couldn't deny it. But it wasn't like I would do anything about it. I wasn't going to be an adulteress.

_Adulteress? The man has me speaking in biblical terms! Probably because I'm positive getting to know him in the biblical sense would be absolutely amazing..._

Wordlessly, I tried to hand him the croissant, but he waved it off with a pained laugh, looking embarrassed. _Huh. Strange... _ "Better not. I'm on a...special diet." Well, whatever he was eating, it certainly was working for him.

"I really shouldn't be eating it either. The animals sort of like the smell of the chocolate. It makes them a little too curious."

"Animals?" he questioned, leaning a bit closer and taking in my khaki uniform. As he came nearer, his face seemed to freeze. After a moment, he sucked in a short breath, squeezing his eyes shut as he moved backward abruptly.

_What's with this guy? _

"I work at Woodland Park. As if my "ready for safari" look doesn't give me away," I joked, wishing I didn't look so pale and washed-out in khaki.

"So you're a zookeeper? Do you soothe the savage beasts?" The liquid sin was back, and when combined with his smoldering stare, I couldn't help but think about how much I'd like to soothe the savage beast in front of me.

_This is so, so wrong. Maybe that's why I'm enjoying myself more than I have in months. Years._

"I'm a caretaker. I work with the big cats. Lions, tigers, mountain lions."

"'Lions and tigers and bears, oh my,'" he said lowly, quirking an eyebrow. "We _are_ in the Emerald City, you know." I blinked at that, laughing nervously, but I recovered quickly.

"Not the bears." I couldn't keep from smiling, and I had a suspicion that the tips of my ears were flaming red. Hoping my intent wasn't as obvious as I thought it was, I gave my head a little shake, letting my hair fall forward over my shoulders. Success! Glowing ears successfully hidden!

"Hmmm...not the bears," he murmured, his lips twitching, but the humor was gone as soon as I noted it, replaced with a serious intensity that baffled me. "You know, I have a soft spot for mountain lions. They were hunted nearly to extinction in this area. It's good to see a resurgence in their population."

I relaxed a little, glad we had something to discuss in which I could make intelligent conversation.

"Oh, yes, the zoo is very proud to be a part of it. I'm part of the team who helps nurse orphaned and abandoned cubs whenever they're found. It's amazing."

"So you enjoy your work?" he asked, once again flashing me his charming grin.

"Very much." I nodded enthusiastically, flying high on the beautiful curve of his lips.

His eyes seemed to change, taking on a darker ochre tint, and..._ Whoa!_ _I think his pupils just got bigger! _The frisson was back, its skittering path a bit more insistent this time. We were suddenly sitting very close, much closer than was appropriate, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

"So, why are_ you_ on a ferry before five a.m.?"

He blinked, as if he'd lost his concentration. The tension between us eased for a moment as he smiled slightly. "I'm going to get in line for an iPad."

"Ah, I see. New toy," I teased, growing nervous when he once again looked at me with that focused expression. "What?"

"I'm sorry; I'm just trying to figure you out. You're very...hard for me to read." He was so serious, equal amounts of earnestness and frustration warring in his eyes.

"Am I? I'm just your average girl. I do give myself points for having an awesome job, though."

"Will you tell me your name?" His brows drew together in a slight frown, those fathomless pupils of his holding me pinned in place. _Closer, closer, _they beckoned, urging me to relax in his presence. While my limbs were only too happy to oblige him and remained still, my heart raced faster, faster, and I honestly couldn't tell if it was fear or desire that affected me so. My silence had lasted way beyond what was appropriate for a conversation,

Ever so slowly, he raised a hand, his fingertips hovering close to my jaw. He watched his fingers intently, a look of extreme concentration on his face. I couldn't help the gasp that rushed over my lips when the tip of one finger traced a line up to the top of my ear and rubbed softly against the overheated arch. It was cool against my skin, soothing the embarrassing burn with his lightest touch before he moved his hand into the hair at the back of my neck. His lips parted the slightest bit as his eyelids dropped just a fraction. _He feels it too..._

"Please, tell me your name," he whispered, and I could feel the words on my face. He was that close.

"Bella," I managed, my voice barely audible to my own ears.

"Bella," he mouthed, and I couldn't hear it. But I knew it was my name, and I loved the way it formed on his lips. "Very apropos...Beautiful." One of those body-wrenching cold chills attacked me at his words, making me fight to appear normal, and not as if I was having a seizure.

_Oh, God, what is happening to me? I'm not this kind of person!_ It was as if I was watching myself on video as we both leaned closer to one another. I let my eyelids fall closed and leaned forward slowly, needing to feel his lips under mine, but I just couldn't cross those last few millimeters. Like somehow, what I was doing would be _less_ wrong if he was the one to kiss _me_. Cool, sweet breath ghosted low over my cheek. _  
__  
__So, so close..._

"Edward," I whispered, just so I could feel his name form on my lips as I tasted his breath.

I felt more intoxicated with each lungful of air we shared, every molecule of me attuning itself to every molecule of him. Being so close to him was slowly lulling me into some sort of sensitized lethargy, where only he and I existed, his cool strength soothing my warm skin. His forehead grazed mine, the tip of his nose tickled my cheek, and his lips were coming closer. I was only breathing _him_ now, taking shallow breaths as he exhaled. I was almost floating; adrift on a cloud of lust and adrenaline and Edward, and my only anchor was the hard fingers clenched so tightly in my hair.

_What is he doing to me? Things like this...they just don't exist._

And then, it didn't. _He_ didn't.

Without warning, I was falling forward onto the seat next to me, barely managing to get my hands out to protect my face.

Edward was gone. No sign of him whatsoever. Had I been sleeping? No, he couldn't be a dream ― because right at the back of my neck, where he'd been clutching me so tightly, my scalp stung. Some of my hair must have gotten caught in his fingers.

_What the _hell _just happened to me?_

-o-

"Looks like it's just you and me tonight, Jake," I sighed as I let myself into the small bungalow I could barely afford. It was nothing fancy, but it was home. I liked things cozy, and the house just _fit _me_._ There was no room to grow, of course, but I wasn't worried about it at this point in my life.

Tyler had always complained about the size. He insisted it wasn't a good home for a family. I thought he was getting way ahead of himself ― the thought of..._this_ being my forever was terrifying. My encounter this morning had done nothing but convince me that Tyler and I just weren't going to work. If I could be so easily swayed, so strongly attracted to a stranger ― one who, quite frankly, _scared_ as much as enticed me ― then maybe we just weren't right for each other.

Our relationship was comfortable and safe, but I was beginning to realize that it wasn't the kind of life I wanted for myself. Call me naïve, but I wanted ― no, I _needed_ ― a stronger bond. But confrontation was not my friend, so I had no idea how to broach the subject with Tyler. It could wait. It wasn't fair to him, but I couldn't find the will to worry about it.

I'd changed so much in the last twelve hours, and I had no explanation for my mental shift other than Edward. I knew he wasn't good for me. How could anyone who affected me like that ― an influence so complete that I would do anything he asked ― possibly be a good thing?

Deep in thought, I settled into my spot on the couch with a can of Diet Coke, letting Jake snuggle into my side. He fit perfectly against my hip, his long body and short legs making him an ideal fit for a girl like me. A corgi mix, he was Tyler's dog, but I was Jake's favorite person. I found it rather humorous, because the dog shared a name with my high school ex.

Nevertheless, Jake the dog was mine now, and everyone knew it. He was my pal. Nothing was more comforting than petting his thick, soft fur, which was shaded with deep russet and a few white patches over his nose and chest. Jake was just big enough to sound ferocious when someone knocked on the door, but small enough to think he was a lap dog. He gave me a quiet comfort, offering just enough warmth on nights that sometimes felt a little too lonely and chilly.

We sat in comfortable companionship as I absently stroked his thick coat, trying not to think of the pale, enigmatic stranger called Edward.

-o-

It was dark, but my vision was clearer than it should have been. Shadows didn't blur as they covered the row of seats, the crisp darkness broken occasionally by shafts of moonlight that glinted off the plastic seats. Edward sat in one such seat, the milky light dancing strangely in his pupils and glinting off the brick-colored strands of his hair. His clothes were the same as before, and that alone told me I was dreaming. _But I can't wake up! Shouldn't I be able to wake up?_

He crooked a finger in my direction, and my feet started toward him of their own accord. Soon, I was standing directly in front of him as he stared up at me, those fathomless eyes pulling me deeper and deeper under his spell. His lips curved in a knowing smirk, and he reached up to pull me down into his lap. I sat stiffly, unwilling to comply, but equally unwilling to run away.

_Is he..._compelling_ me to move? No. Surely not...__  
_  
"Why can't I read you?" he questioned soundlessly, but I somehow knew what he was saying, like I could hear him in my head. He leaned forward, forcing me to recline back against one of his encircling arms. This time, he didn't pull away. The cold tip of his nose traced over my jawline and down my neck, leaving a cool swath of prickling skin. He paused, dipping into the hollow of my throat. I felt _threatened_ with his lips hovering just above my sternum; he set my teeth on edge, and I froze like a gazelle catching an unexpected whiff of lion.

Breath rushed in and out of my chest shallowly, my ribcage growing uncomfortably tight in direct proportion to my racing heartbeat.

"Breathe, Beautiful. Slowly..." I could feel his lips moving against my skin, barely. Deep breath, slow and steady, his shoulders rising in response. He dragged his nose right up under my chin, and I instinctively matched his breathing. He exhaled, touching his lips to my pulse. Again, the uncomfortable feeling returned for a split second. I wanted to cover my neck with my hands ― to protect myself ― though he was nothing but gentle. I ignored it, finally exhaling, expelling all the spent air from my lungs.

He flattened his palm over my chest and inhaled again; I followed suit, and he guided me through a few slow, savoring breaths. Although I knew he was..._scenting_ me, somehow I couldn't keep from doing a version of the same thing to him. His scent was addictive and compelling, in the best ― and scariest ― possible ways. It was lulling and calming to the point of intoxication, just as it had been before.

All too soon, it was over and he was feet away, leaving me with no recollection of him slipping out of my reach. His face was in shadow, his eyes catching and reflecting the moonlight in a way that wasn't even close to human. He didn't just appear the bad boy, he embodied the notion. He _was_ dangerous.

"Choose," he whispered, his eyes boring into mine through the darkness.

-o-

Not heeding the warning in that dream was my biggest mistake. I was like an object buzzing with maximum potential energy, and I could go one of only two directions. Gravity always wins in the absence of outside influences. Edward is _my_ gravity, and there are no variables in our equation. I want to resent it...I _should_ resent it. But I don't. Now, the fire of conscience burns at the edges of my perception, but it's only fleeting. After all, anything worth having is worth a little pain...right?

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This one will be much shorter than WiP and I've got chapters pre-written. I'll try to keep up with a weekly update schedule.

Many thanks to pre-readers eye_ree, karentwilighted, and YogaGal. Any errors are mine.

Thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated, as always, but not required. :)

**Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal**, by Christopher Moore. 2004, HarperCollins.

1**The Columbia Encyclopedia, Sixth Edition **| 2008 | Copyright 2008 Columbia University Press.


	2. Transition State

_**Disclaimer:**_ _I don't own Twilight. __I'm sure you can pick out some lines I borrowed in this chapter as well. I love to use book/movie quotes in my own way, as you probably already know. I don't own those either._

_I caved. You get this one early. I__'ve almost__ finished another chapter, so I decided to post this one. :) _

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**-Chapter 2: Transition State-**

I managed to get away with avoiding Tyler for almost a week, all the while hoping to see Edward on the ferry again ― but there was no sign of him. Backed into a corner by Tyler's worried pleas, I finally started saying yes when he'd call up and ask me to do things. I managed to play the reluctant girlfriend for about two weeks, but in the end, I had to give up. It was way too tiring playing a constant role. With the intent of finally breaking it off for good, I asked to meet him at his place for dinner Friday night.

We hadn't done something like that in a while, and he'd been so pleased. Guilt stabbed me in the chest when I thought of the real reason for this dinner. It was goodbye, and Ty really didn't deserve it. But I didn't love him, and was incubating a rather serious obsession with someone that might be dangerous ― or a figment of my imagination, considering I hadn't seen him since. Trying to make things easier on him, I had white wine and the ingredients for his favorite meal in the refrigerator; everything ready and waiting for me to prepare and haul over to his apartment. We both knew he couldn't cook.

Anyway, food always made the animals at the zoo a little happier, so I figured one last home-cooked meal couldn't hurt. At least I wasn't making him take me to dinner before I dumped him.

-o-

Friday morning dawned rainy and unseasonably warm, adding a slight thickness to the air that had my nerves charged and my hair acting up. My ancient umbrella ripped in the high winds as I walked from the parking lot to the ferry dock, and I was soaked by the time I boarded. I was thankful the trip took about an hour, so I'd have time to dry out. Shaking stray droplets from my hair with one hand, I tossed the ruined umbrella in the nearest trash bin before making my way to the usual spot.

I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Edward was there, sitting in the very same place, and the wave of deja-vu that overtook me was intense. Cautiously, I approached, noting the way he stiffened as I drew near. Then he looked up at me, eyes a brilliant amber that was most definitely different than the richer, darker color they'd been when I last saw him. His lips curved in that not-quite smile as he stood, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Hello again," he said, and his voice was just as I'd remembered. He was dressed in light gray this morning, which created a softer contrast to his pale skin. The dark smudges under his eyes were nearly gone, and he looked much younger. I wondered if he was younger than me for a split second, but his demeanor was so mature that it just couldn't be possible. He obviously had excellent genes ― he _was_ a handsome one ― so why wouldn't that include the gift of graceful aging?

"Good morning. You look well. Well-rested, I mean."

He laughed, and it was a weary, bitter sound that only masqueraded as amusement. Lips twitching with the beginnings of a cruel smile, he said, "I suppose I am...as rested as I can be. Just like always." His face softened again, his eyes warming and the curve to his lips becoming more affectionate.

The silence stretched into long seconds as we regarded one another closely, both feeling the pull of whatever it was that ran between us.

"Would you like to sit?" he asked, gesturing to the seats. As I moved to take my seat, he flinched, moving his arms like he was going to assist me but suddenly thought better of it.

"You were gone," I blurted in a small voice, cringing inwardly at how transparent I was being.

_I looked for you every day._

_I was starting to wonder if I made you up._

_I'm obsessed with you._

"It couldn't be helped, I promise." The words were earnest and rang with sincerity, and it never once occurred to me to question the reason for his absence. "I had to leave town suddenly...personal reasons," he explained.

"I hope everything is okay," I offered, wondering if it had been bad news that called him away.

"It is now, thank you," he murmured softly, shifting his body toward me infinitesimally...but I couldn't be completely sure he'd moved at all. I could _feel_ he was closer, my every cell buzzing at the tiny increase in nearness. "I thought of you."

_Oh, God._..hearing that made me nearly drunk with happiness. _He's been thinking about me, too!_ But the way he was looking at me...it wasn't all affection. Some of it was predatory and possessive. I wasn't sure I liked it.

"I was beginning to think I dreamed you up or something," I said in a halfhearted attempt to lighten the mood. "Are you going to disappear again?" He scowled darkly at this, his eyes darkening just a bit in their intensity.

"I'm not the man of anyone's dreams." His voice was dark and a little ominous. It made the stupid part of me ― the part that evidently didn't care for my safety ― feel sad for him.

"So, you've got a little baggage...who doesn't?"

"What kind of baggage do you have, then?" he questioned with a smirk, and I had to kick myself for giving him the opening to deflect my fishing expedition with his own questions.

"Well, I guess you'd say I have the biggest kind of all ― a guy I need to break up with."

_Fuck. Shit. Way to admit to the fuckhot guy that you've got a boyfriend!_

"And why do you need to break up with him?" His voice changed again, softening with a hint of curiosity.

"I want...more. Something else. I don't know what, but I know I won't find it with him." Pausing, I looked down at my feet for a second. "I don't know why it's so easy to talk to _you_ about this, when I've been trying to figure out how to break it to _him_ for a couple weeks," I muttered.

"I don't know. Maybe I have one of those 'listener' faces?" he asked, and I looked up to find him looking innocently evil ― like a cat staring blandly up at its owner from atop his mountain of unrolled toilet paper.

"Your face sure is _something,_ but I'm not sure 'listener face' is the first adjective I'd pick," I returned with a smile of my own. _My God, Bella, stop flirting!_ To distract myself, I peered through the window behind Edward's head, and I could see the sun beginning to peek through the clouds. The threads of light caught his hair, setting it aflame with red, gold, and rich brown. It seemed to shimmer, almost as if it captured light like a prism.

"The sun's coming out. Look," I pointed, gasping when he stood quickly, one hand tightening like a manacle on my wrist as he pulled me further toward the center of the vessel. He didn't stop until we came to a dim, empty hallway, far from any windows. He moved way too fast, and his grip was so strong. When he released my wrist, I couldn't keep from rubbing it in pain as the blood began to flow back into my hand.

"I'm sorry," he said earnestly, placing his cool palm gently over my aching wrist. Call me crazy, but it actually felt better.

"You've got quite the kung-fu grip, there," I joked feebly, trying to calm my racing heart. "What's with the photophobia?"

"Photophobia...isn't that a fancy way of saying I have a fear of light?" He smiled softly before continuing. "To answer your question _―_ no, I'm not afraid of sunlight, but I do have a...slight allergy to the sun. I try to stay out of it as much as possible."

"Right." I let him hear the disbelief in my tone, but it went unacknowledged ― except for the smirk that let me know he knew exactly what I was thinking.

_Oh, come on...could this get any more insane? Does this guy think he's a vampire? Looking all gaunt and pale...the weird eyes ― that _changed color_ ― his smell, his voice, his face...holy shit, IS he a vampire? Where are the fangs? Do they only pop out when he's hungry?_

But vampires didn't exist, right? He was probably a mental patient. Damn...all the good-looking ones were taken, gay, or crazy.

He didn't _seem_ crazy, though. It was also entirely possible that my brain was being influenced by the insanely weird chemistry we shared. And above all that, I _liked_ him. I liked his sense of humor, his politeness, and the way he watched me like there was no one else in the room. I liked the way he made me feel beautiful and special, and the way he made my heart pound.

_Great...that probably makes _me_ the crazy one. __It definitely makes me the corny one..__._

"Listen...I really am sorry about your wrist. I shouldn't have dragged you halfway across the ferry," he murmured, jerking my attention back to the situation at hand. I tilted my neck back to see him, appeased by the apologetic cast to his face.

"You just wanted to get me alone." _Joking, joking...__fuck__, I'm not joking..._

His eyes flashed with something dark as he stepped closer. "You're very right...but this could end so badly. It's not a good idea for me to be close to you."

"Are you so sure?" I had no idea who was speaking through my mouth, but the words felt right.

My back was flat to the wall in the shadowed alcove, the walls blocking out even the soft murmur of the other passengers. The soft rush of my breath accompanied the static in my ears, my eyes frozen on his lips. He stood as close as he could without touching me, though the energy that filled the tiny space between us was a tangible sensation. His hands came up to the sides of my face, his left thumb rubbing over my lower lip. It was cool at first, but as his hand gradually warmed to my body temperature, I began to feel more and more lightheaded.

_It's like he exhales that laughing gas I got once at the dentist's office... _

His chest moved: a slow, deliberate inhale. It felt as if he was stealing my air...if he drew breath, I gave it, and took what he gave me in return, acting instinctively. I couldn't stop. His breath was fresh and sweet and completely clouded my thoughts, and I wet my dry lips out of habit, grazing the tip of his thumb on accident. His hands were gone in an instant, tense fists held straight down at his sides.

The wall at my back held me upright, and with Edward crowded so close, his presence enveloped me with a very real weight. I was literally weak-kneed with some sort of sick, unbelievably arousing fear; getting off on the very idea of doing something so intimate in a public place, innocent as the contact might have been. The fact that I even felt any of this was so ridiculous to my normal self, that I knew if I was hearing this from one of my friends, I would have probably laughed my ass off and accused her of exaggerating.

_I'm not really free... I shouldn't do this._

_But I want to... I don't think I can stop.  
_  
The absence of his touch was a palpable thing, and I lifted one hand to rest just above his hip. I pressed my fingertips into his side, my curious fingers enjoying the contrast of dense, firm skin underneath his sweater. It dawned on me that his skin was more than firm...it was hard and cool.

His face seemed to harden like chiseled stone as he froze, his eyes burning into mine, trying to convey a message of extreme importance.

_Be afraid of me. Why aren't you afraid of me? _But at the same time, that stare was pleading with me to ignore all the little twinges, instincts, and strange feelings I felt when I was with him. It wasn't hard.

"What are we doing?" I whispered, caught in his riptide and reveling in the deadly current even as it whisked me away. "I don't even know you."

"I don't know...I know I shouldn't be here," he breathed, and I knew he was coming closer, his head dropping lower until he rested his forehead against mine. "I just don't have the strength to stay away any longer." I stayed silent, waiting, waiting...and he was shaking under my fingertips, the tiniest tremors racing across his skin.

"Please, keep talking. Say something to distract me." And his voice ― the liquid spice and warm sin ― held a threatening undertone that awoke every single sympathetic function in my body.

"Why are you so creepy― I mean, cryptic?" The first words to appear in my head were unfortunately the first words that came out of my mouth.

He chuckled, but it wasn't a happy sound. "I don't mean to be. There are just...certain things I can't say. I don't want to lie to you, but at the same time, I can't be completely honest."

"Okay," I said weakly, needing more information, but not sure if he would give it. "Why are you so...stiff? You get so tense and rigid, and you all but turn to stone sometimes."

_Oh, no...I just said that? I really didn't mean that how it sounded. Please, God, don't let him have a filthy mind like mine..._

"I must admit, that question has a very simple answer, Beautiful." The words rolled off his tongue in a soft, deep rumble as he closed the millimeters between us, so we were pressed together chest to thigh.

_Come to think of it, I hope he has a filthy, dirty mind..._

His body sucked everything from mine ― my warmth, my breath, my reasoning. I was motionless, knowing the fear of tiny prey locked the gaze of a predator, yet wanting him closer. Was I crazy? How often does the quarry yearn to feel the hunter's embrace?

"You're c-cold," I whispered.

"And you're _so_ warm," he breathed, so close now that I felt his words on my lips, causing my eyelids to flutter shut. I was falling, falling...everything sinking to the pit of my stomach and lower. "Please...don't move. You have to stay still." He wasn't demanding ― he was begging. As if he had to ask. As if I could outrun him. I didn't know how I knew it would be impossible ― I just _did._

A touch, one so light I thought I imagined it, landed on my lips, growing in cool pressure every second. He was kissing me, his closed lips pressed to mine, and it felt better than anything I'd ever experienced in my short life. But despite the innocence of the kiss, I could feel the way his body vibrated with tension, which reverberated through every one of my bones.

He inched closer, the cool tip of his nose pressing into my cheek, his mouth moving over mine with more insistence. Letting me feel the firmness ― the _other_ ― that lay beneath the supple skin of his lips.

Both my hands were now gripping his waist, and I dared to slip a finger underneath the hem of his soft grey sweater, slowly tracing his bare skin with the lightest brush of my fingertip. A low huff of breath washed over my lower lip as he dragged his mouth down my chin, deliberately grazing his nose along the same path. Then his arms were in motion as he locked an arm around my back, hiking me higher up against him, his other hand knotting in my hair. He pulled firmly but gently on the tangled strands, making me arch my back and baring my neck to his lips.

He was inhaling rapidly, his chest moving in great, deep pulls as he settled his lips on the vulnerable curve just beneath my jaw. My hair stood on end as I felt the flat of his tongue swipe over the thin skin, heard the rough groan that ended in what I swore was a long, low growl. I knew I was in a precarious situation ― as close to the proverbial fire as I could get without being consumed.

But oh, how I _burned_. Something about him called to every single one of my instincts, and when it came to Edward, I obeyed them first and questioned them second. Still, I was in real danger, because though I didn't know exactly what he was, I knew he _wasn't_ human.

"Stop," I panted, digging my fingers into his hard sides. I had to reach him ― to bring him back from whatever haze had taken hold, because there was no possible physical way I could remove myself from his arms.

His only answer was a short, low rumble in his chest as he froze, his whole body stilling as if he'd been turned to stone. Slowly, I felt his hand slip from the back of my head. Opening my eyes, I saw his hair blurred in brown and red and gold before me, and I moved to dip my head against the crook of his neck, pressing a soft kiss to the cool skin there.

In one second my lips were pressed tenderly to his neck, and in the next, he was just...gone. Again! As if he'd never even been there, like an apparition created by my wayward imagination. I blinked in shock, breathing hard as I had to fight to stay upright. _Is he just a delusion? Where did he go? _

The only clue that remained was the swath of tingling skin under my jaw from the cold burn of his tongue. Everything else...that was a mystery.

-o-

"Bella, I need a good reason from you here! You can't just break up with me for no good reason!" Tyler burst out, his voice rising with every word. Dinner had been eaten, and the wine was long gone, which I'd hoped would work to my advantage. If I was lucky it would slow him down, allowing me an easy escape in turn. But when he tried to kiss me and started forcibly pulling me upstairs, I'd had enough, jerking back from him so violently that I knocked my head against the wall in the process. _Ouch._

_I knew this wasn't going to go well..._I _just couldn't_ kiss Tyler. I wanted Edward's lips to be the last that had touched mine.

I still hadn't fully processed what had happened this morning. _Is he real? Have I finally cracked and, if so, do I care?_ And that was it ― the realization that even if Edward's kiss was a figment of my imagination, I still infinitely preferred it to anything else. The other man ― the one I didn't want, the one that didn't want to be let go ― stood staring at me from a more reasonable height, and all I could think was how I missed Edward's taller frame, his leanness, his..._presence_ that awoke every single nerve.

Tyler crossed his arms in front of his chest and frowned. "Well? We can't break up without a reason!" I didn't want to stare at his face, so I focused on the little alligator symbol that rode on his left pec. He was such a douche about his shirts. I remembered fighting with him about the popped collar fad a few years back. He thought it was still cool. _That's sort of a reason, isn't it? __  
_  
I sighed, shaking my head and brushing past him on my way to the door. When he saw I was ready to leave, Jake scrambled up from his spot underneath the kitchen table and was glued to my side in an instant as I paused to grab my raincoat. I didn't have the energy for this ― work had been exceptionally tiring today. The cats were acting weird, shying away from me and occasionally 'talking back' to me with grouchy snarls.

"We're not living in an episode of _Seinfeld,_ for Christ's sake! If one person wants to break up, then you break up! I don't have a good reason, and I don't need one." _A sane reason, anyway... _"It's just not working. I need more," I finished, shrugging in frustration.

"Bella, wait!"

I slung the strap of my bag over my shoulder and belted my coat with a quick knot. "Ty, I'm sorry, but I have to be honest. I just don't...feel the same way anymore. We've drifted apart." I pulled the front door open and Jake darted out to the drive, waiting by my ancient, unreliable truck.

I stared at my feet for a moment before meeting his eyes. "I just need to take this time to...reevaluate my life.." _There, that sounded like a reasonable bullshit answer..._

"So you just need time to think?" Tyler questioned, raking a hand through his carefully styled surfer-dude hair. I remember when I'd found it sexy, but that seemed like so long ago.

"Yes," I answered slowly. _Didn't I just say that?__  
_  
"Oh." He stood there, dumbfounded, and then suddenly, he grinned.

"I really am sorry, Tyler. It's not you, it's me." I cringed as soon as the words were out of my mouth, but they seemed to have no effect on him. _Ugh, I can't believe I actually used the "it's not you, it's me" line. Everyone knows what it really means ― "it's not me, it's totally _you_."__  
__  
__Jesus, this really _is_ turning into an episode of _Seinfeld_, and I'm playing the role of Jerry!_

With that final, incredulous thought, I shut the door with a final click.

It wasn't until I got home that I realized I'd left my favorite casserole dish in his kitchen. Then the soft click of claws clicked over the floor as Jake followed me into the house, and I realized I didn't care about the dish ― I still the dog, and I wasn't giving him up. Jake was comforting and real, where Edward was unsettling and exciting and scary and thrilling...and possibly _not_ real.

Definitely not_ normal._

Then again, maybe I was the abnormal one. After all, none of it worried me enough to keep me away from him.

-o-

I heard from Tyler a week later ― a week with no sign of Edward. Though I was hurt, disappointed, generally depressed, and irritable, I still couldn't find it in me to be mean to the man I'd rejected.

"Tyler, no, I can't," I said in response to his request for a date. "We broke up, remember?" Feeling an extreme need to get out of this conversation as fast as possible, I turned on the speaker and set the phone on the counter so I could start banging pots around. "I'm sorry, but I've got to go," I yelled. "Trying to do the dishes!"

"Don't you think a week is a long enough break? I miss you, Bel!" I hated how whiny he sounded over the phone, made worse by the audio quality of the speaker phone.

"I don't just want a _break. _I want to _break up_. There's a huge difference," I snapped, my frustration with the entire week getting the better of me. "Now this is turning into a bad version of an episode of _Friends!_" I muttered to myself. He was silent on the other end of the line.

"So this is it?" He finally grunted, a bitter edge to his voice. "Is there someone else? Are you screwing around behind my back?"

_Not really... If he's even real. If he ever comes back._ _If if if._ _In other words, only in my dreams._

"No...there's no one else. We just don't _work_ anymore. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. I don't know what I can say to make this better, but it's the truth," I said flatly, steaming inside at his rude comment.

"If you think I'm going to let you keep the dog, you're wrong," he threatened, making me instantly bristle.

"Try and take him from me. He won't even go with you," I laughed, but on the inside, I was panicking at the thought of losing the one constant I had.

"I had him before I met you! He's MY dog!"

"Please...just let it go. Jake would rather live with me ― you know that. I'll buy him from you. I'll call you later to set it up," I said through clenched teeth, ending the call and switching the phone to silent.

It looked like I'd be needing a locksmith ― first thing in the morning.

* * *

_Thanks, as always, to pre-readers eye_ree, karentwilighted, and YogaGal for pointing out my silly mistakes and making me giggle. __Any errors are mine._

_Thanks for giving this a shot, guys! I know I've got other things to do, but __I can't stop writing this one__. Then again, it's a lot easier to write when one stays away from Twitter._

_Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for reading. And for those of you that reviewed, special thanks! I was a little nervous about posting a new multi-chapter fic, and it means a lot to know you liked it._ _Next update will be Monday._


	3. Entropy

_Disclaimer: I don't own it, we all know it._

_Thank you eye_ree, karentwilighted, and Yoga Gal for pre-reading._

_

* * *

_

**-Chapter 3: Entropy-**

Tuesday was the beginning of my "weekend," since the real weekend was Woodland Park's busiest time of the week. I had a good day at work ― the cats had finally come out of whatever funk they'd been in. They'd been a little leery of me for a while, but now they were back to ignoring me just like before. I spent most of the day planting early Spring flowers around the big cat exhibit. All the other caretakers never wanted to do it, since it had nothing to do with the animals and everything to do with landscaping. But I enjoyed the "gardening" duty, so I usually volunteered.

My knees and back were aching at the end of my shift; by the time I boarded the ferry for home, I was really looking forward to a nice, hot shower and an afternoon on the couch with Jake. A pang of something hit me as I realized I'd stopped expecting to see Edward. I didn't want to feel it. Didn't want to be sad that I'd never see him again, except in the crazy dreams I had about him. Just to torture myself, I sat in the very spot where we first met. Sinking back against the hard plastic, I allowed myself to relax a bit as I opened my now worn copy of _Lamb._ I've read it three times since I met him.

_Jesus, I'm pathetic. The blasphemy in this book is rubbing off on me_.Shaking my head, I settled in to read. After a few minutes, a shadow fell over my page, and I looked up. More than half of me hoped it would be Edward.

It wasn't, though this girl ― _woman?_ ― shared the same pallor as he. _And her eyes...they're familiar..._

"Hi," she said brightly, her white teeth gleaming in her pale face. "Want some company?"

Well, it wasn't like I could say no without looking rude. "Sure." _What is it with me meeting these strange, beautiful people on the ferry?_

"I'm Alice," she informed me, her tone very matter-of-fact. "And you're Bella."

I was shocked, to say the least. "How in the hell do you know my name?" I blurted.

"Oh, silly stuff like that doesn't matter. Tell me, what brings you to the ferry today?"

_What the hell is this chick on?_ "Just coming home from work. Woodland Park ― you know, the zoo?" _Why am I answering her?_

"Oh, how cool! I like animals, but they don't like me much," she said with a little giggle that I didn't quite understand. Then again, considering the person I was speaking with, I wasn't surprised.

"I'm sure they just sense your nervousness around them," I offered. "They'd probably come around if you gave them a few extra minutes."

"I doubt it," she said dryly, dismissing the subject. "So, do you meet very many interesting people here on the ferry?" _Just Edward._ I must have sighed or something, because she immediately grinned, locking onto the clue in some sort of weird triumph. "You do! I bet it's a guy."

_So it's girl talk she wants._ _If I give her what she wants, will she go away?_ "I did meet a guy once. But it was weeks ago, and I haven't seen him since."

"Oooh, how interesting!" Her whole demeanor was..._animated._ There was something about her ― almost a hum, not unlike the noise that emanated from one of those huge electrical transformer stations. She made me nervous, but it didn't stop me from liking her.

"So is that why you're on the ferry?" I asked. "To meet men?"

She took it as the joke I meant it to be and laughed. The sound was much more pleasing than it should have been. Normally, I would have been annoyed by her cute little giggle. "Of course not. I've got my own at home." She leaned forward conspiratorially and whispered, "That doesn't mean I can't look for some eye-candy to pass the time."

I let out a little laugh of amazement. "I can't disagree with you on that one."

"Maybe we'll get our wish today. Two hot girls, sitting together? We're like guy magnets."

I snorted in commiseration, though I didn't think I could handle it if Edward picked today to show up. Both of them ― and their overwhelming personalities ― at the same time? No, thank you.

Not like he'd show up anyway. He was long gone, and I was alone, except for Jake ― and even _that_ was unsure. Tyler was still calling and harassing me, demanding I give the dog back. I always told him to call the damn cops if he wanted Jake so badly. So far, he hadn't called my bluff.

"Bella?" Alice was asking. "Where did you go?"

"Sorry," I said, smiling sheepishly. "Just worrying about my dog."

"Your dog? That's what has you looking like...well, like someone kicked your puppy? Forgive me for the expression." She giggled again.

"Well, he's _technically_ my ex's dog, but he's been living with me for months. Tyler ― the ex ― won't leave me alone. He only wants him to get back at me."

Alice made a sympathetic noise, turning her knees toward me slightly. "And are you sure you don't want to keep the dog to get back at him?" she asked.

"Of course!" I snapped, then immediately regretted my tone. _Why the hell am I talking to this chick anyway?_

"I'm sorry...look, Bella...sorry if I'm prying. I tend to do that sometimes. You can always just tell me to stuff it if you want." She was talking like we'd be having future conversations, and it was a little strange.

"Sore subject," I managed, figuring it was good enough as an excuse. "I live alone, and with Jake there, it's a little more welcoming, even if he _is _just a dog." _Great! I just told a complete stranger that I live alone! I might as well stand in my front yard with a sign that says "Abduct and/or Rob Me Please!"_

"Oh...I've never had any pets...the animal thing," she said, grinning impishly. "But I do understand not wanting to be all by yourself. No one deserves to be alone all the time." Her eyes grew unfocused as she spoke the last words, the faraway look sort of creepy, but it only lasted a second. Her face broke into a huge smile as she said, "You won't be alone much longer. I know it."

-x-

I wasn't paying attention as I parked at the curb in front of my house, my mind occupied with thoughts of weirdo Alice from the ferry. Distracted by mental and physical exhaustion, I didn't notice Tyler sitting on my front steps. I stopped short upon seeing him, trying not to show fear when I really wanted to press my hand against my pounding heart. _This is the last thing I need today..._ Instead, I crossed my arms over my chest, staying on the sidewalk as he rose to stand on my top step, making no move to come down. His body language was aggressive and angry and the height advantage made me nervous, but I knew it was all just his way of intimidating me. He'd never hurt me.

His dirty-blond hair was longer and curling at the ends, making him look almost boyish. But anything childlike about him was erased by the derisive scowl he wore.

"Have fun with the _pussies?_" He loudly sniffed the air, sticking his nose up like an obnoxious ass. "Smells like it." Coming closer, he jingled the key chain in his hand. "Nice move, changing the locks."

"What do you want?" I asked, trying to sound bored to death. "Can we act like adults, please?"

"Refusing to give me my dog is acting like an adult?" he demanded, descending to the sidewalk. I refused to back away.

"You know he'd rather live with me," I said through clenched teeth. "I'm alone, I have no family here, and I need him. Please don't take him from me because you're upset that we didn't work out."

"Don't give me that 'alone' bullshit, Bella. I've seen the guy that's been spending the night here. Parks his stupid fancy car a couple blocks down the street, but you two don't have me fooled. He's the reason we broke up, isn't he?"

I blinked in shock. _No one is staying at my house! What the hell is going on?_ "Tyler, are you saying you've seen a strange man around? I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not dating anyone." Was someone spying on me? _Do I have a stalker?_

"Nice try, but I don't believe it. Now, give me back my dog. Your stupid messy-haired boyfriend can comfort you. Maybe he'll even take you to the pound to pick out a replacement."

"Wait, what does this guy look like?" _Messy hair?_

He laughed, and it was a cruel, derisive sound delivered with a nasty sneer. "You're really trying hard, Bella. You know what the asshole looks like. I'm pretty sure you were fucking him before we even broke up. Didn't know you went for such pale dudes. I would have stayed out of the sun." He looked me up and down, making me wonder how I ever found him attractive, with those mean eyes and that cruel smile twisting his lips. "Now, unlock the damn door and give me my dog."

Messy hair? Pale dudes? _Pale like Edward? Is he watching me?_

The thought didn't disturb me nearly as much as it should have.

"Don't make me call the cops, Tyler. I'm really good at playing the innocent victim." _Oh, shit...I shouldn't be baiting him..._

"Go ahead. Then they'll make you give Jake back to me." He dug his phone out of his back pocket. "Here, use mine." When I didn't take it, he took a big step toward me, and I couldn't help leaping back.

"Stay away from me!" I yanked the phone from my pocket and frantically dialed 911. He just laughed as he stood there watching me, shaking his head, wearing a nasty smile.

"_911, what's your emergency?"_

"My ex-boyfriend won't let me into my house!" I rushed out, and Tyler frowned darkly. I backed up more, wanting to curse when my butt hit my car. "I'm afraid; please help me!"

"Put the phone down, Bella!" Tyler roared, and I actually wanted to grin, despite the fact that I was terrified. He'd just played right into my hands.

"_We have units on the way, ma'am. Try to stay on the line."_

-x-

Two hours later, I couldn't believe what had happened. After he made me drop the phone, cleverly managing not to injure me the process, Tyler had been more than happy to wait for the cops, ready to turn them against me.

I couldn't believe it had worked. I still sat on my front porch, but Tyler was long gone, along with the cops...and Jake. All it had taken a phone call to his vet, who knew my situation, but he couldn't legally say I was the owner. I knew I was beaten. As much as it would devastate me to give Jake up, I couldn't go to jail over him. I needed to be able to work to pay for the house, and if I went to jail, there would be no one to take care of Jake anyway. Tears stung my throat and eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

"You're an asshole, Tyler Crowley," I said to no one, glaring daggers into the dark, car-lined street.

It was growing dark and my stomach was rumbling, but I couldn't make myself go inside to fix dinner. I'd feel too alone in there...alone with thoughts of Jake, Tyler, and beautiful strangers I'd met on the ferry. Uneasiness settled in with the sadness in my gut, balling up into one big mess of ulcer-inducing nerves.

_What if the person Tyler saw isn't Edward? _

I was in deep shit, that's what. _Hell, I still might be in deep shit...what if Edward is dangerous?_

Oh, I knew he was dangerous, but not to me...I thought. I was ninety-nine percent sure. Then again, there's always that one percent... Tyler the Dog-Napper's taunt hung in the air like an empty threat. _Your stupid messy-haired boyfriend can comfort you..._

I sat in the slowly cooling air for hours, watching the fuzzy darkness of the neighborhood as the breeze grew chilly and I could see my breath. When I finally couldn't take the cold anymore, I shuffled inside, eager for a hot shower. After thoroughly checking every lock and window, I went to bed without dinner, trying not to cry myself to sleep.

I wished for no dreams at all.

-x-

I spent the next two days sleeping, my days off completely ruined. It was as if once I allowed myself to sleep, my brain didn't want to resurface and deal with the sadness.

Sometime late the first night, I opened blurry eyes to a shadow sitting next to me on the bed. One deep breath was all it took to let me know it was Edward. His scent was something I'd never forget.

"Hello," he said in that liquid smooth voice.

I sat up slowly, using the headboard for support. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" After all, it wasn't exactly a rare occurrence since I met him.

He laughed softly, reaching out to trail one finger in a ghostly path down my arm. I'd never hated this long-sleeved t-shirt more. When he reached the back of my hand, he left his fingers there, covering mine. A shiver prickled at the back of my neck, dripping slowly down my spine in a molten path of sparks.

"If you say so, Beautiful."

"What are you doing in my room? I know I locked the doors," I whispered, my voice cracking from sleep.

"I came in through the window," he said in a very matter-of-fact way, as if that were a normal, _human_ thing to do. My bedroom was on the _second story_. "Ah, there's the lightbulb moment." A one-sided grin pulled at the corner of his mouth as he spoke. "Surely you realize I'm not..._normal_." _His smile would rival the Cheshire Cat's_, I thought to myself.

"I realize you're weird," I retorted, earning another laugh from him as I inched up higher in the bed. I felt like I was a frayed wire, sparking with electricity.

"But you _like_ weird. You eschew the normal, don't you?"

God help me, but I did. Nodding, I swallowed, watching him with sharp eyes. Not like it would help if I decided to run. Then again, this _was _a dream...

"And you like _me_," he prompted, his voice soft and smooth, wrapping around me like a velvety ribbon.

I found myself nodding again, frozen in place as he reached up to hold my cheek in one hand. He barely touched me, yet the light friction only served to make the gentle hold more poignant.

"You want to know something?" He didn't even wait for me to nod again. "I like you, too, Bella." Leaning closer, he watched my lips. I couldn't help running my tongue over them, as they were suddenly devoid of all moisture. His tongue was only slightly cool as he traced the same path. He still held my cheek, absorbing my warmth...keeping me in place for his open mouth to graze my lips. Once, twice, his lips touched mine, allowing me to learn the shape of his mouth and savor his clean, sweet and spicy taste. It matched his scent...

He inched closer, making my body almost vibrate with the need to close the distance between us. His breath washed over my cheek in a fragrant puff of hypnotizing air, and he wasn't backing away! Raising shaky hands to his chest, I flattened my palms and dug my fingertips into hard collarbones. A sound much like a purr rumbled against my lips, tickling and tingling and driving me wild. I bit at his lower lip, earning another purr, and I swear I could feel it between my legs.

It was over too soon, both of us breathing hard. I could feel the sweat misting on my brow, which was strange. I didn't usually notice things like sweating in my dreams...

"You purr?" I panted against his neck. I couldn't remember tucking myself into his side like this ― another inch and I'd be in his lap.

"Apparently," he murmured, his nose buried in my hair as he clutched me to him, inhaling deeply.

"I like things that purr," I said absently, relaxing against his surprisingly comfortable, hard frame. I felt safe, watched over...and most of all, not alone. Even if it was only a dream, Edward was with me.

He chuckled, cooling my heated scalp with his breath. "I don't doubt it. Though I am extremely grateful for your...preference." His hand began a slow, soothing rhythm on my back, and somehow I knew the dream was about to end. My eyes drifted closed, lulled by the firm, comforting stroke of his hand. How odd that I was leaving dreamland by going to sleep.

"Good night, Edward," I whispered. I didn't hear if he answered.

-x-

Thursday morning found me on the ferry again, with a steaming cup of coffee and a rumbling stomach. The rain was supposed to hold off for today, and I was glad. I was still tired, drained even, in spite of my marathon session of long naps this weekend. Rain always made me sleepy, without fail. It wasn't sunny, but what light did manage to escape the patchy blanket of clouds lent pretty lavender and pink hues to the grey morning sky.

I couldn't stop thinking of how I'd woken alone, in the center of my bed, my arms folded gently around my waist. One lock of my hair had trailed over my chest, and it was pulled smooth, almost as if it had been brushed...or finger-combed. It wasn't the first time this had happened...and it also wasn't the first time I'd dreamt of Edward.

Coupled with Tyler's crazy accusations that I was having male company at night, I was starting to question my sanity. _Shouldn't I be scared? _ Someone was possibly coming into my home while I slept and, at the same time, I was having dreams about an extremely sexy, mysterious, _weird_ guy whose moods were all over the place. I wasn't so sure about the other times, but this time, it had felt so _real._

I was lost in my own world until the hair on the back of my neck began to rise. Before I could look up, a pale hand was holding an apple directly in front of me. It looked red and delicious, perfectly deep red and shiny ― exactly like the Goddamn poisoned apple the evil witch gave to Snow White.

_Well, that's morbid. Where the hell did that come from?_

I looked up to find Edward looming above me, a sheepish smile on his face. "Hi."

"That apple isn't poisoned, is it?" _Oh, no...watch the verbal diarrhea, Bella!_

He laughed, to my immense relief. "Of course not," he insisted and, sheep that I was, I took it. "Do you mind if I sit?"

"Yes! Err, no, please sit. I don't mind." My cheeks flamed as I stared at my knees, again cursing my loose mouth.

"I can see you're going to need this, as well." He held out a little white paper sack, the logo of my favorite bakery stamped boldly in black on the side. My face broke into a grin.

"You brought me a chocolate croissant?" I asked, and I was positive I sounded dopey and lovesick, but I swore to myself it was all about the chocolate.

_Definitely not Edward...right?_

His hand came closer, and I snatched the bag in a rather unladylike manner, remembering how little I'd eaten in the past two days. "Thank you so much. Did you already eat yours?" I mumbled through the first bite of flaky, buttery goodness and bittersweet chocolate. I actually caught myself starting to moan at the taste, but then I noticed that Edward was watching me ― and he was laughing. It warmed me in ways I was ashamed of, flooding my brain with images of kissing him and tasting the chocolate on his tongue.

His smile was cryptic as he answered, after an obvious hesitation. "Yes. It smelled so delicious that I just couldn't resist." He watched me intently, an eyebrow arching, which drew my attention to his eyes. Dark caramel pulled me in, the air around him becoming just as thick.

Now the chocolate was bitter on my tongue, and I wondered if he would taste sweet, like he had in my dream...

I took a sip of my rapidly cooling coffee, washing the flavor away. Feeling more myself, I asked, "What happened to your 'special diet', Edward?"

He looked at me with surprise, his face breaking into a wide smile. "Everyone falls off the diet wagon at one time or another," he said, shrugging in a way I found absolutely adorable. The absurdity of this situation struck me: I knew he was dangerous; he could be sneaking into my house at night, and yet I found him _adorable? _ Then again, when one was in my line of work, a little attraction to dangerous things was a given. I respected the dynamics of predator and prey, admired them as a scholar and as a professional. Every part of me knew, at some intrinsic level, that Edward was a predator. I didn't _think_ that prey was me...I was pretty sure, at least.

"Why are you here today?" _Great, now I sound ungrateful._ "Do you need another iPad?" I took another large bite of croissant, just to keep my traitorous mouth busy.

"No, I don't need a new iPad," he laughed, taking the apple from my lap and idly tossing it from one hand to another. He did it easily, gracefully, drawing my attention to his long fingers. "I came for you." He paused, and I felt a flash of something close to fear. "I came to see you, that is," he amended.

"Oh," I said dumbly, concentrating on finishing my breakfast. He had me so nervous I couldn't even enjoy my croissant! I quickly wiped my mouth with the napkin I found in the bottom of the bag, praying I didn't have chocolate all over my face, then made a big deal of cleaning my hands. When I was left with nothing else to do, I finally looked up at him.

"You should eat this, too," he instructed. I shook my head, not wanting to have to force anything else down right in front of him. It's never a comfortable thing for a girl to eat in front of a guy she's just getting to know. At my refusal, he brought the apple to his nose and sniffed it, his nose twitching in what I thought was distaste. "Smells wonderful," he said, and his voice was strained. He tossed the apple toward me, and I was my usual clumsy self, bobbling it twice before finally catching it. Edward looked quite amused.

To appease him, I took a bite, the sweet juice bursting over my tongue in a cleansing wash of tartness and honey. "It's delicious." He smiled and watched me eat about half of it, until I really was getting full. I placed it in the paper sack left over and carefully set it to the side.

He was watching me with those inscrutable eyes, and I began to get irritated.

"So where were you _this_ time? Or can't you tell me? Let me guess...'personal reasons'?" Inwardly, I cringed, knowing how bitchy and needy it sounded. But nothing about this was normal or seemed to have any rules, so why couldn't I ask all the questions I wanted?

"I suppose you could say that," he hedged, and my anger began to rise several notches.

"Will you please, for the love of God, stop being so cryptic?"

"They were very personal reasons." His tone was blunt, flat, and brooked no argument.

I couldn't take my gaze from his face, his eyes, and I needed him to know how much it hurt when he disappeared. "I won't see you tomorrow, will I?" After all, that's exactly what had happened every other time we'd encountered each other.

"Yes, you will. I give you my word." Strange, the way he spoke sometimes. So formal...it made me want to unravel his composure.

He grabbed my hand, his hard, cool skin making my palm tingle. My fingertips were still coated with apple juice, and I wished I'd saved that napkin.

"I'm sorry...my hand is sticky," I mumbled. "The apple..."

"It's fine, Bella. Don't worry about it." His lids lowered slightly, eyes dipping to my lips. It stole my breath. I think he might have shuddered, but he seemed to pull himself together and the moment passed. Instead, he changed the way we held hands, lacing our fingers together, giving mine a gentle squeeze. "We're almost to port," he observed.

_I don't want this to end. Does he?_

"It was good to see you again," I whispered, fully expecting another endless stretch of days without him.

"I'd like you to keep seeing me," he said in a determined voice, adding an irritatingly attractive smirk for good measure. "Can I give you a ride?"

* * *

_I know, this is laaaate. I have no excuses. Okay, I do, I just won't bore you with them. I'll update again before the week is over to make up for my fail. Maybe. Thanks to all of you for reading, and if you feel like it, let me know what you thought! _


	4. Enthalpy

_Thanks to Yoga_Gal and karentwilighted for pre-reading and beta work. They get rid of my silly mistakes._

_I don't own Twilight. If I was SM, I'd swim in my money like Scrooge McDuck._

_

* * *

_

**-Chapter 4: Enthalpy-**

"So, can I give you a ride?" he asked with a slow smile, and it might have shorted out most of my nervous system.

_Sure, you can give me a ride..._

His grin turned wicked, and his rich laugh surrounded me in warmth. "I meant a ride to work."

_Shit. Inner monologue is not so inner, apparently_. _Do I dare?_ I was afraid I'd let this man drive me through the Hell Mouth if he asked. _Okay, so is this the part where I leave with the mysterious man, never to be seen again until they show pictures of me and interview my parents on_ 48 Hours Mystery?

"You have a car on the ferry?" I still didn't quite know how I was going to answer his question, so I asked my own.

"In Seattle, in a garage near the pier," he explained. "It's a short walk from the ferry dock."

_Dare I go? Charlie would have a coronary._

"I―I'm fine with the bus. Really," I forced out, giving in to the daddy's girl inside me. The one that only existed to get me out of trouble or make me seem incredibly lame in front of gorgeous men.

His face went completely blank at my refusal, and he gave me a generic, flat smile in response. I got the feeling that I'd hurt him. "You're right," he said, his voice giving nothing away. "Smart girl."

"What do you mean by that?" _Was_ he really planning on kidnapping and murdering me?

"It's probably better that we're not friends."

"Is that what we are?" I snapped, getting angry and yanking my sticky hand from his. I never _had_ liked it when people told me what to do. "And what if I want to be friends?"

"I didn't say I don't want to be your friend, Beautiful." There was a sad cast to his features, but his eyes were closed off. "You're smart to stay away from me." I began to regret my flash of temper, missing the feeling of his hand laced with mine.

_Bella, you are a moron. _"Yes," I said on a huff of breath. _Bye bye, caution!_

His eyebrows drew together in confusion. "'Yes,' what?"

"Yes, you can give me a ride to work."

-x-

"What's this?" I demanded as he stopped in front of a terrifying-looking silver motorcycle.

"My bike," he said, as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"You said you had a car!"

"No, _you_ assumed I had a car. I just didn't correct you."

"I don't like motorcycles. I don't want to die this morning!"

He laughed sadly at this. "Bella, I promise, you will not die this morning. I'll be extremely careful."

Distressed, I stared at my expensive-looking, motorized nemesis. "I don't know..." Suddenly, I wasn't so brave.

"Have I mentioned my cat-like reflexes?" he joked, touching my chin with a fingertip so I'd look at him.

"Have I mentioned my police chief father?" I threatened mildly, only half-joking.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise, and then he hit me with that sweet, earnest smile, and I melted all over again. "No, you haven't. But I'll be sure to take it under advisement." Straddling the bike, he patted the seat behind him.

"You know how to get to the zoo?"

"I know how to get everywhere," he said cryptically, and I was almost back to wanting to smack him. Patting the seat again, he prompted, "Hop on."

Tentatively, I threw my right leg over the back of the bike and settled in behind him, trying to ignore the mutiny below that was sparked by my crotch pressing against his very fine ass. I tried to scoot back on the seat, but it was pitched forward, and I kept sliding back down.

He handed me a helmet that was at least three sizes too big, but I wasn't about to refuse it. At least it was shiny, metallic black, and not silver like the beast we were sitting on. _ I don't even know why that makes me feel better..._

"Help," I whined, my voice tight with nerves. He turned toward me, bringing more of that incredible, unforgettable scent with him. He laughed quietly as he helped me with the chin-strap, tightening the helmet as far as it could go. There was still quite a bit of wobble room, but it would have to do. "Do I look like an alien?"

"No, you look _safe_." He might have been scowling, but I couldn't actually tell. The helmet cut off my vision above a certain angle.

"What about _your_ helmet?"

"That _is_ my helmet. Believe me, you need it much more than I do," he said darkly, turning back to the front and starting up the beast.

_Oh! Holy shit...that's um...nice down there. Maybe motorcycles aren't _all_ bad..._

"You ready?" he barked over the roar of the engine. "You'd better hang on tight!"

I had no idea where to put my arms. _How am I going to do this?_ Oh, I knew how I _wanted _to hang on...I wanted my arms around his waist. I wanted to rest my cheek ― well, _helmet_ ― between his broad shoulders and hang on tight. Finally, I made a compromise, putting my hands on his shoulders and resting my forearms against his back. I'd never been on a motorcycle before, and the whole idea of it was scary.

"Are you sure about that?" he asked tauntingly, barely turning his head so I could hear him ― and see that devastating smile. I gulped in indecision and nerves, fighting back the little growl of frustration that built in my throat. My fear trumped my shyness, and I clamped my arms around his waist, shutting my eyes and doing exactly what I wanted. This time, I was ready for the odd feel of his unusually hard frame, and when he laughed in response to my impersonation of a limpet, I gave in, letting myself relax. He swung the bike out of the parking space and carefully navigated the curves as we descended to street level.

_This isn't so bad...it feels safe so far. And I certainly don't mind clinging to his back like a horny primate,_ I thought as we reached the garage's exit. I let out a relieved breath as he turned smoothly onto the fairly empty city streets.

Then he took off like a rocket, leaving my stomach in the dust. I don't think he heard my scream.

When I finally regained some semblance of rational sanity, we were parked in the visitor lot. Like it mattered. I was frozen to Edward's back like that scene in _Dumb and Dumber_ where Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey get off the motor scooter in Aspen.

You know, minus the pee.

"You can let go now, Bella," Edward said, laughing harder every second.

"No, I really can't," I insisted, clinging to him with all my might and all four limbs. He turned off the engine, settled the bike on its kickstand, and actually stood up with me on his back, his hands cupping under my thighs to give me support.

"See? We're on solid ground." He hopped up and down, drawing a little yelp from my lungs. "No longer moving horizontally." After a few moments, I began to relax, inch by inch, until I was able to free one shaking hand from around his waist to grasp at his arm.

"We're here?" I asked dazedly, making Edward laugh even louder. Somehow, I was suddenly facing him, my legs still around his hips. One arm held us together lower, while he guided my limp arms up to grip at his shoulders with the other. When I hung on, he carefully removed the helmet. My hair crackled with static electricity, making me shiver against him. I blinked, taking in his handsome, fucking smug face. "Can we _never_ do that again?" I demanded.

"You don't like the bike?" he asked in disappointment, pouting. He winked, earning a scowl from me.

"I don't like it when you drive the bike faster than light speed. Human bodies aren't meant to go that fast." My comment seemed to amuse him very much.

"You're right. They're not. But I kept you safe, didn't I? Doesn't that count for something?"

I shook my head. "Sheer luck," I said pointedly.

"Oh, Bella," he laughed. "You don't _have_ any luck but bad. That was all skill."

"Oh yeah? Well, what about meeting you? That was good luck."

"That was anything but good luck," he said darkly.

I squirmed, indicating my desire to be put down. "What's up with you and your mood swings?" I asked with a frown as he set me on the ground. Immediately crossing my arms over my chest, I kept going with my...scolding? "I thought we settled this with the 'friends' talk. Make up your damn mind." The last part was low and under my breath, but I knew he somehow heard it. His lips turned up into a sly smile and he stepped closer. My arms brushed against his chest, and I had to work hard to suppress a shiver.

"What if I decide to never let you go?" he questioned softly, his eyes golden amber and intense with unspoken admissions.

"I don't know. It hasn't happened yet, and I can't predict the future. I want to know you," I said stubbornly, standing my ground. His hands cupped my upper arms now, drawing me closer, my arms the only thing keeping me from being pressed fully against his body once again.

"You think?" His head came level with mine, the cool wash of his breath making me feel loose-limbed and weak. "I don't want to be just your friend," he whispered. One hand came up to hold my cheek, his cool fingers heaven against my burning face.

"Okay," I breathed dumbly, trapped in his amber eyes surely as a mosquito stuck in sticky, prehistoric tree sap.

His fingertips traced slow lines over my lower lip, his head dipping lower, lower... And then his lips were on mine, in the sweetest, softest kiss I'd ever felt, even better than those dream kisses I'd shared with him. I couldn't do much but gasp at the sensations he made me feel. My arms slowly loosened, my hands drifting down between us to rest at his sides. This was nothing like our first kiss on the ferry, either. There was no darkness, no persuasion. I stood rooted to my spot, kissing him back with increasing eagerness (after getting over my initial hesitation), when he pulled away with a regretful smile.

_But I was just getting started!_ I pouted internally, wanting to grab him by the collar and pull his mouth back to mine. I wanted to drag him back to one of the supply sheds and have my wicked way with him.

"Don't you have to go in? To work?" He still wasn't very far from me, and I could feel the currents his breath stirred as he spoke.

"Yes," I sighed. But it won't be nearly as fun as this was," I admitted. "I think I like being more than your friend, Edward Cullen."

His eyes darkened. "I really wish you hadn't said that."

"Why? Why shouldn't we be...um...whatever we are?"

He was silent, studying me with those magnetic eyes. "There isn't enough time to get into this right now. Let me take you out tonight. We can talk without restriction then, and I'll make sure you get a good meal. You look too thin." Well. I didn't think _that_ was ever possible.

"Are you asking me on a date?"

He grinned, showing his teeth. "I suppose so, yes."

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

"So that's a yes?" he questioned, arching a brow.

"Yes. But I want answers, Edward," I said firmly, hoping he wouldn't call my bluff.

He sighed, a resigned cast to his features. "You'll get your answers. You may regret it, but you'll get them."

_Well, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?_

"I'll pick you up at seven."

It wasn't until after the deep rumble of the motorcycle engine faded that I realized he hadn't asked for my address. I knew I'd see him tonight, however. It wasn't anything explainable or logical, but I knew...and it didn't change my plans one bit.

-x-

Not even the bitchy demeanor of the cats could knock me out of my good mood today. They were standoffish and mouthy as I went through the morning cleaning routine, rumbling their disapproval in coarse growls and grunts as I passed by. The American cougars actually acted afraid of me when I got to their enclosure. They hissed and shied away, sticking to one corner of their area while I was there. This wasn't abnormal by any means, since all of these animals were being rehabilitated for return to the wild and were naturally distrustful of humans, but I'd never seen them this keyed up. Angela, my supervisor, eyed me shrewdly as I exited the exhibit, and I could tell she wanted a word with me.

"Bella!" she called, waving me over.

As I crossed the corridor, I pulled my shirt away from my back, trying to generate some kind of breeze. It was humid enough to make anyone short-tempered ― no wonder the cats were in such a terrible mood.

"Hey." She looked concerned, which made me paranoid. "What's going on?" I asked.

"Are you doing okay? The cats are a little...agitated around you. I was wondering if you were projecting any kind of bad energy. I know the thing with Tyler had you on edge, so..." she trailed off.

Okay, so Angela was a little out there, but she was one of the best animal handlers on the West Coast, so when she gave advice, everyone listened. It didn't just take training and skill when you worked with animals, though those were a necessity. It was about projecting confidence and calm assertiveness, and most of all, paying attention to your instincts.

"I'm fine, really. Feeling better all the time," I said with a smile, not really knowing if I was speaking to Friend Angela or Boss Angela. "I don't know what's wrong with the cats. I thought they were getting over their skittishness." There was no _way_ I was telling her about Tyler taking Jake back. She'd sideline me for weeks.

"Be extra aware, Bella. And if this continues, we might have to ensure you only deal with the smaller cats for a while. We'll work on it," she said, patting me on the back as she started for the kitchen. It was almost chow time. "In the meantime, come and help with the food."

I didn't want to be restricted to the smaller animals. Logically, I understood her reasoning, but that part of me, the one that always had a _way_ with animals, had a huge ego. And she was very pissed that the cats weren't treating me ― _us?_ ― like one of their own. I knew there was nothing I could do about it, but it still stung.

_No use worrying about it now. Go learn some shit from Angela,_ I told myself. I followed her to the prep area, and we both washed our hands in silence as we got ready to prepare yummy things like frozen steak pops and deer leg surprise. Yum...not. At least the cats liked it. This was my least favorite part of the job ― I hated blood, and the smell made me sick most of the time. Still, it wasn't something I could avoid, and so I dealt with it just as I'd deal with anything else unpleasant ― with a nice fake smile and a dose of hidden disgust.

The day only got worse when I spilled blood all over my shirt. The last thing I remembered was pulling a chunk of meat from the bottom of a nearly empty plastic bag, and then I was suddenly staring up at a very concerned Angela.

"It's the blood. I'm fine, I swear," I babbled, pulling at the sodden shirt. The ferrous scent of iron wafted past my nose, and I almost went out again. My fingers were slick with blood, and the smell was so cloying and salty, so strong...

"Bella!" The sharp voice pulled me out of the black hole that was trying to swallow me.

"What?" I yelled woozily, blinking up at my boss. Shaking her head in what appeared to be annoyance, she stripped off my zoo-issued camp shirt, finally getting it away from my nose. When I was left in my clean undershirt and shorts, the bloody shirt far, far away, I finally began to feel better.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what happened," I began, but Angela stopped me with a short sigh.

"Tell me, how do you manage this job when you have a reaction like _that _to a little blood?"

"Well, I usually don't spill it all over myself," I said quickly, wincing when I realized I sounded more than a little grouchy. Not a good idea to mouth off to the boss. "Sorry...my brain's still a little fuzzy." I hoped that was a good enough excuse.

"Maybe you should take tomorrow off," she began tentatively, eying me like I was an invalid and about to fall over at any second.

"Really, there's no need. I'll be just fine, and I have a spare, clean uniform at home for tomorrow's shift."

She pursed her lips at me, as if she was making a hard decision. "Okay," she finally said, "Here's the deal: I'm benching you for the rest of the day. You get laundry cart duty for now, and we'll see how things go tomorrow." Her tone was firm, and I knew I better grab at this chance while I could.

"Perfect. Well...not perfect, but I can live with it," I said with a forced smile. Damn it.

Angela quirked a brow in my direction. "Now, go clean up, have some lunch, and get back to work."

"Yes ma'am." I gave her a mock salute as I headed for the door.

"Oh, and Swan? If you pass out again, I'm sending you home for a week."

-x-

I missed the first ferry home that day, and all I could do was stare in shock as I stood in front of the roped-off ramp that led the way home. It was strange that I didn't feel upset; I was removed from the events of the day, like some kind of emotional insulation. I had an idea where it was coming from, and that was the only thing that managed to stir up a little worry in my mind.

Thank goodness for Edward. If it wasn't for his reappearance in my life, I might be borderline suicidal from all the potshots life had been taking at me lately. Nothing could knock me down, because I'd see him tonight. But there was still that part of me that questioned his motives ― and my own sanity. If he showed up at my place tonight with no direction from me, didn't that basically _confirm_ him as the man Tyler had seen around my house?

I refused to let myself think on it any further. Obviously, I was having some sort of quarter-life crisis. In a desperate attempt to distract my obviously cracking mind, I pulled out my earbuds and hooked them into my phone, selecting shuffle mode. Anything would work.

When it was time to board the next ferry, I found myself walking behind a familiar female figure. Her wispy black hair stood out against the cream color of the cardigan she wore, and the fabric shifted fluidly in response to her graceful movement.

She moved like Edward. I'd only met one other person that moved like him ― Alice.

She didn't seem aware of me, as I was a good ten feet behind her...but I couldn't help but think it was an awfully huge coincidence she was there. The thought hadn't occurred to me before that the two might be connected somehow...but there was something very different about both of them.

I walked by after she took her seat, continuing until I selected an isolated seat a good distance away. Leaning back, I pretended to be absorbed in my music. I knew she would come to me.

It wasn't until I smelled her subtle, pleasant perfume that I noticed she was there...right next to me. I hadn't heard a sound ― but I could _feel_ her. Like my body thought it should be on alert, independent of my brain. Slowly, I removed my earbuds and wound them around my hand before stuffing the phone and wires into my bag.

"Alice," I finally said with a smirk, "what brings you to the ferry today?"

She knew what game I was playing. "Bella," she mimicked, "I'm checking out the guys, of course. What about you?"

"You don't remember?"

"Ah, yes...you're coming home from the zoo." She sniffed, delicately wrinkling her nose.

"Yep." Silence fell heavily and I sighed, looking at the windows straight in front of me. Barely resisting the urge to fidget awkwardly, I waited her out.

"So," she began, her tone a little uncertain, as if she was trying to make me feel more at ease. "Speaking of last time...have you seen that guy you were talking about?"

_Obvious much?_

"Funny you'd ask," I answered, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I saw him again this morning." I couldn't keep the smile from my face when I thought of him, but I made myself concentrate on the conversation at hand. "In fact, you two always seem to show up around the same time. Strange."

"Really?" She didn't sound concerned in the least. In fact, she was the picture of relaxation, leaning back casually in her seat as she brushed at some imaginary lint on her likely designer sweater. "You saw your guy again? Wait, don't tell me! Oooh, you'll have a very...interesting time on your date tonight," she added, as if predicting things that hadn't happened yet was as common knowledge as knowing the earth was round.

"How did you know we were going out?" I asked, only half-serious. I was starting to believe I was asleep on the ferry ride home, and I was having a really strange dream.

"I didn't," she said with a smug little smile. "But you pretty much confirmed it for me."

Well, shit. She had me there.

"So," she continued, almost businesslike. "What's his name?"

"You mean you don't already know?" I asked, not bothering to hide the snark in my voice.

"I didn't say that...I just didn't want to weird you out."

"Too late." She sucked in a small breath, as if I'd hurt her feelings. I made the mistake of meeting her eyes, which was my downfall. She was giving me the legit Puss-In-Boots eyes, and damn it, I caved. I liked her, in spite of her weirdness. "I'm joking, Alice," I finally said, cracking a genuine smile.

Her face immediately morphed into a huge grin, as if she'd known all along that I'd come around.

"_Do_ you know his name?" I asked, out of sheer curiosity.

"It's Edward." My eyebrows almost flew off my forehead and she rushed on. "Now, before you freak out, the reason I know is because he's my brother."

"Your brother."

"Yes, but he doesn't know I've met you. We haven't been speaking much lately. His choice, of course. He's been having a rough time and wanted to be left alone. Or, he _was..._ Until he met you."

"Until he met me." _Way to go, Bella. Just repeat everything she says. Show off those mad conversational skills._ "Has Edward talked to you about me?"

"No, not exactly," she hedged, glancing off to the side.

"Please, enlighten me. It's not like we could make this conversation any weirder," I said in exasperation.

"It's not important how I know, just that I do." She leaned forward, placing her hand on my forearm. Her touch was cool, just like Edward's. "He's never met anyone like you, Bella. And he's been waiting for such a long time...I'm sure everything will work out the way it should," she finished, nodding and sounding more like she was trying to convince _herself _rather than me.

"You're incredibly strange," I said, shaking my head.

"I know, but you'll love me anyway," she replied in a light voice.

"Christ, Alice, stop it," I laughed. "You're freaking me out. Let's just sit here...and you be quiet."

We stuck to normal topics for the rest of the journey, and when I got home, I was exhausted. For all the things that had happened to me today, I felt like a week had gone by ― and the day wasn't yet over. Edward was coming to take me out tonight.

Tossing my keys on the small table in the tiny entryway, I caught a glimpse of myself in the correspondingly mini-sized mirror. Good Lord, I looked like death. My skin was pale and almost green, likely from the earlier encounter with the deer blood, and bluish smudges under my eyes made them stand out even more in contrast. My decision was made: shower first, then as long a nap as I could get away with before seven tonight. I definitely needed some beauty sleep ― it wouldn't do to scare Edward off.

* * *

_Sorry about the lateness again...I'm fail. RL and all that jazz._

_Up next: a date with our vampire stalker, finally!_

_So glad you all are enjoying the story, because I'm having fun writing. it. Thanks for reading, and as always, reviews are appreciated but not required, especially when I'm so fail at replies. _


	5. Free Energy

_I don't own _Twilight_ or _Alice in Wonderland.

_Thanks to AmeryMarie, eye_ree, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal for the fresh eyes. Figurative eyes, not literal ones (sorry, just saw a trailer for _Saw 10 Billion: IN 3D!_). Any errors are my own.  
_

_I know...I'm sorry. Bad author. Last time, Bella took a ride on Edward's motorcycle, he asked her out, and she spilled deer blood all over herself at work, and was ambushed by Alice on the ferry-again. _

_It sure took a long time for Bella to get ready for this date, didn't she? Yes, I'm blaming her now._

* * *

**-Chapter 5: Free Energy-**

The shower was a little slice of heaven and I fell into bed quickly afterward, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and underwear. The next thing I knew, cold fingers rested on my shoulder as his smooth voice flowed into my ears, soaking in and streaming down in a warm burn, much like whiskey would.

"'You're late...for a very important date,'" he said with a trace of laughter coloring his tone.

_Am I dreaming again? Do I want to be?_

I turned to face him, which was harder than I'd thought with the way his weight pinned the comforter to the bed. His eyes were bright and golden, like butterscotch candy. I kept staring at him despite the color I could feel rising in my cheeks. No, I definitely didn't want to be dreaming, which made me one batshit crazy girl. I really should have been alarmed at the way he'd just showed up in my bedroom, bypassing the conventional things―like actually knocking and waiting to be let in.

The sight of Edward in my room was too welcome, too right, and oh, so familiar...

Frantically, my brain sifted through witty things to say. Something, _anything_, that wouldn't end in my humiliation―or Edward seeing me in my ratty skivvies.

_That's not all you should be worried about...how did he get in your house? He's a freaking cat burglar!_

I forced back the caustic inner voice and focused on his hands as I spoke. "Who do you think you are, the White Rabbit?"

He laughed out loud and inched closer, one of those long-fingered hands coming to rest just above my knee as he leaned forward. "Doesn't take long to get your mind going after sleep, does it?" he quipped.

"No, not when strangers are in my house when they shouldn't be." Trying to sound stern, I fixed him with a questioning stare.

"But I'm not a stranger," he protested, hitting me with that beautiful half smile.

"And I hope you're not the White Rabbit, because I'm sure as hell not Alice." I let the name hang in the air, and the way his features hardened at the mention of the name was all the confirmation I needed. What came out of his mouth next cemented it even more.

"You've met my sister," he stated, his eyes narrowing a bit as he frowned.

"Twice, since I met you." He still hadn't moved his hand from my leg, and the weight of his touch radiated through the comforter. It was all I could do not to move my leg against him, to encourage his hand higher.

He cursed under his breath and then muttered, "She must have known you'd tell me."

I moved slowly to sit against the headboard, once again trying to ignore how weird he was. His hand slipped from my leg, and he didn't move any closer. A wave of disappointment rocked through me, and I mentally berated myself for moving and ruining the moment.

I noticed he was staring at my lap, his pupils fixed on me in an almost predatory gaze. Wondering what he was staring at, I looked too, trying to figure out the object of his fixation.

There was nothing in my lap―nothing but my _practically naked_ lap. _No pants! Shit!_ I was back under the covers in a flash, my whole body probably flushing red with embarrassment. No, he wouldn't move any closer to me, but when I opened my eyes, he was watching me with such longing it hurt to see it.

"I hope someday you won't hide from me, Beautiful," he said quietly. "I'll leave you to get ready. May I wait in your living room?"

"Y-yeah," I stuttered, in utter shock and thoroughly hypnotized by his wish. Then he was gone, leaving me alone to wonder what the hell had just happened.

-x-

"You know, it's customary to knock and wait before you come inside someone's home," I said, my voice only faltering once. I leaned against the doorframe for support and observed him as he sat motionless, staring at my tiny television.

"You're not going to call me a stranger again, are you?" He stood to face me as soon as I entered the room, his manners reminiscent of an era long past. His appearance was striking, as I'd come to expect, and he looked so handsome in his perfectly-fitted clothes. The charcoal-grey sweater and dark jeans complimented his pale complexion, setting off his vibrant hair, and he looked like he was ready for a photo shoot for some swanky magazine. In comparison, I felt small and invisible, even wearing my best little black dress.

I wanted him to come closer, so I could inspect the sight before me. Surely he had a blemish or wrinkle somewhere...he couldn't be _perfect_, right? His nose had a slight bump in the bridge, but it only served to make him more appealing. Although if I was honest with myself, there _was_ something..._off-putting_ about him at times. If anything, I would have said his teeth looked too sharp in certain lights. And there was something about the way his eyes locked on to everything he watched...cold, calculating, and too observant for my liking.

"You're strange, I'll give you that," I ventured, finally gathering the courage to approach him. "But no, I won't call you a stranger." At that, his face lost its tension, and his eyes raked me up and down.

"You're a vision." I raised my eyebrows at the antiquated compliment. "What?" There was curious amusement in his voice as he smiled down at me with more than a little affection. My heart fluttered in response, and I wondered what the fuck it was about this man that turned me into a simpering idiot.

"A 'vision'?" A little snort slipped out at the end, and I was mortified.

"Well, you are," he insisted. "Would you rather I put it bluntly? I find you very attractive." One step brought him too close, yet not nearly close enough. "I would even go so far as to admit the sight of you far surpasses any description I could give you."

"Wow," I breathed, blinking in weak-kneed shock. "You sure know how to compliment a girl."

"It's the way I was raised. I was taught to always respect a lady." He grinned slyly at me, reaching out to take one of my hands. I barely suppressed a shiver when he brought my hand to his face, rubbing his nose over the thin skin of my wrist. He inhaled deeply, his expression becoming one of agony and bliss.

My ovaries nearly exploded.

The rational side of me―i.e. my brain―wondered what the heck was with him sniffing me all the time. My lower half wanted to toss reasoning out the window and just enjoy his attention. Besides, I thoroughly enjoyed sniffing him, too.

I'd obviously been spending too much time with the animals.

"Shall we?" he was asking, and I was left blinking up at him in confusion.

"Shall we what?" I repeated, wondering when he'd stopped doing innocently indecent things to my wrist with his nose.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked with a chuckle, pulling me toward the door.

"Do we have to?" I blurted, instantly wishing I could yank my idiotic words back inside. Of course we had to! Because if we stayed here, I was going to start ripping his clothes off.

"I want to take you out. I'd be a fool to waste an evening with a beauty like you on my arm," he said with a corny wink. Something melted into a knot deep in my stomach, dripping down a little at a time. _I can't believe I'm falling for this..._

"How can I say no?" I finally managed, conceding with a smile. "You sound like some kind of slick con-man from the twenties." His jaw tensed at my comment as he sped up, looking straight ahead. Had I hurt his feelings?

_For the love of all that's holy...that jaw! No one should be that pretty..._

By the time I had the courage to ask what was wrong, his expression was back to normal.

"I promise, I'm fine. I'm always fine," he answered, and he'd almost banished any kind of inflection from his voice. Almost. There was a flatness in his tone that rubbed me raw, like sandpaper, and I didn't know why I felt such strong feelings for this man...and I couldn't deny anymore that I did. A few more seconds, and my time was up. He was slowing, removing a weird-looking black plastic key that unlocked his vehicle with a silent flash of crimson lights.

He led me to the low-slung, dark sports car and gallantly opened my door. I felt like I'd been transported into a film―the black and white kind. The silent kind. With gentle hands, he helped me get situated in the bucket seat, and I hoped I wasn't imagining that his fingers stayed in contact with my body for a little longer than they should have. When he leaned in to buckle my seat belt, I took a deep breath, blatantly inhaling his incredibly pleasing scent. It was sharp and clean with a mysterious, sweet finish, all the individual notes blending together like a perfectly-pitched chord in my brain. For a moment, I could almost see the rich tones behind my closed eyelids―butterscotch, ochre, and tawny whiskey, all gilded with bronze. All were warm and inviting, and if all could also be used to describe his eyes and hair, I blamed my infatuation.

-x-

Watching Edward interact with the restaurant staff was entertaining, to say the least. Every time our server came over to the table, he got this weary, embarrassed look I couldn't quite decipher. It was impossible to miss the signals the man was throwing Edward's way, despite the fact that we were obviously together.

After the waiter reluctantly slunk away for the millionth time, I grinned across the table at him. "Wow. Bet you ten bucks he leaves you his number on the bill."

"Wouldn't be the first time." He was entirely serious―and he didn't look very happy about it.

"Well, you _are _very pretty," I had to purse my lips to keep from laughing aloud.

"I can tell you, with certainty, that he'll leave his number on the bill. I can also tell you he'll make lewd promises about what a man can _do_ for me." The "do" was delivered with a charming waggle of his eyebrows.

_Wait―_charming? _ What the hell kind of magic is he working on me? Eyebrow waggling is _not_ charming!_

"You got all that from a little body language?" I asked in disbelief.

"I guess you could say that," he said, going back to his original cryptic-as-hell strategy. "You know what else I can tell you?" He leaned forward, taking my hand in his.

Suddenly stricken mute, I shook my head, completely lost in his eyes.

"He's doomed to disappointment. There's only one person I'm interested in."

_Oh, fuck me! _

This was not going to work. I somehow had to channel all this energy between us into something useful. If he wanted to be interested in me, that was fine. I sure as hell was interested in him_―_in more than just the male-female way. If he wanted me to encourage his interest, he had some _'splaining_ to do.

_Yeah. Right. _That's what I told myself, anyway. Like I'd turn him away.

"Really," I said dryly, secretly pleased with my bravado. "Who's that?"

"I think you know." He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the small table. He was relaxed, his lips curved in a soft smile that warmed my insides.

"I do?" He nodded, tilting his head toward mine. "So, if you're interested in this person we both know, that would mean you'd tell them a little about yourself, right? Maybe explain why you were waiting in their bedroom when they woke up?" I arched a brow in his direction and took a sip of my Coke as he watched, his smile fading just a bit. "Come on, Edward. The clam impersonation is getting a little old."

He sighed, looking down at the table before he spoke, saying softly, "I'm not ready for this to end yet."

I sighed, letting the subject drop for the moment. Gesturing to his empty place setting and full glass of red wine, I asked, "Why aren't you eating again?"

"Special diet, remember?" His tone was sheepish, which was strange to me. What was the big deal with him and food? Did he have an eating disorder? "It's very restrictive."

"Are you sick...or something?"

He laughed a bit. "Not in the way you're thinking."

"Are you saying you're crazy? Because showing up in a girl's bedroom isn't exactly the social norm."

He frowned, his brows drawing closer together, lips pursed slightly. He looked so good that it took all I had not to sigh and rest my chin on my hand while making cow eyes at him.

"No, not that, either."

"What does that make me? I'm still sitting here with you. My father would have a massive heart attack if he knew about you being in my bedroom today_―after _he unmanned you with his shotgun, and maybe his department-issued firearm."

He laughed a little, but it wasn't a happy sound. It was weary, timeworn, like the laugh of someone who'd seen far too much of the dark side of living. It made me want to soothe him, to sweep away his worries.

"You don't need to worry about me. But your father would be right to be worried about your safety with me," he said tensely, doing that living-statue thing again. Just like that, anger spiked hot and fast at his words. His cryptic comments and warnings were getting on my nerves. He must have been rubbing off on me_―_I was becoming as mercurial as he.

"You're right. I shouldn't be here..." I trailed off, scooting my chair away from the tabletop in preparation to leave. I didn't give a second thought to how I'd get home, but I knew that things couldn't continue like this. He had all the power in this..._whatever_ it was between us, and I didn't like it.

He clamped his fingers around my wrist, urging me to stay. "Don't go. Please."

"Do I have a choice?" I asked pointedly, staring right at where his pale hand covered my skin.

He flinched, his whole body tensing. "Always."

Slowly, I sank back into the chair. "Then talk to me, Edward." He didn't release my wrist, but slid his hand down to cover mine on the table. His hold was gentle and cool, and I felt a familiar tingle everywhere his skin met mine. "It shouldn't be this hard...just tell me something about yourself. I said I wanted to know you, and I meant it," I urged, holding his gaze. "You don't have to hide from me."

A humorless smile flirted with his lips. "You might regret the burden of my secrets."

I rolled my eyes. "Cork it with the ominous warnings, Debbie Downer."

Warm, genuine laughter fell from his lips, and he looked so handsome in the muted light of the restaurant when he smiled that way. His laugh was so pure that he drew stares from some of the other restaurant patrons, but he never once acknowledged anyone else. He never took his eyes from mine. His constant attention was heady stuff, and I was hooked on the tingling, soaring feelings he inspired in me.

"I don't know whether to be amused or insulted," he murmured.

"I vote amused," I quipped with a small smile.

Leaning in my direction, he fixed me with a glittering stare that sent shivers down my spine―and not all of them were pleasurable. There was something in his eyes, something dark and hidden...and part of me wondered if I might be better off without the weight of whatever it was he kept locked away.

"What is it?" I asked, the thick silence getting the best of me.

"You're so hard for me to read...every time I think I have you mapped out, you change the landscape, Bella," he said.

"I'm...sorry?" I laughed, shrugging.

"Don't be. Just when I think I've seen it all, the view becomes even more breathtaking."

Torn between speechlessness and nervous laughter, I just looked at him, mouth hanging open like an idiot. With a slow, sexy grin, he released my hand, reaching up to gently shut my jaw, tapping a cool fingertip against my lips before withdrawing.

"You are something else," I sighed, and something like pain flitted across his features for a split-second.

He mumbled, "Something else, entirely."

"Mr. Creepy Cryptic returns." I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to ignore the first rumblings of frustration.

"Forgive me. No one has ever made me question myself, my decisions and values, like you do, Bella," he told me quietly, once again turning the conversation on its end. "When one...lives...as I do, it's easy to become set in your ways. I've been static for so long, and I'm still not sure it's the best idea to move in this direction with you." His golden eyes dimmed, guilt shimmering in the muted tones. What the hell was it with the way he phrased certain things?

"And I suppose my opinion in all this is inconsequential? We've already had this discussion, Edward. I _want_ to know you."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But you really have no idea what you're asking for."

"Then tell me. Please."

"It's not that simple," he protested, spurring my anger.

"Try me," I said flatly. He remained silent, staring at me as if he could bend me to his will with his eyes alone. _No such luck, Buddy._

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, Bella," he said, a grim cast to his features as he stood and threw an obscene amount of cash down on the tabletop. He held out his hand, his eyes burning with a determined glow.

I blinked up at him, a little laugh bubbling out of my mouth. "I know what you are," I whispered to him, standing on my own, without accepting his assistance.

"You do?" He stepped closer, angling his body toward mine as he reached for my hand, his cool, iron fingers enfolding mine.

"You're a coward."

He sucked in a breath at my statement, his eyes going flat and cold. "You have absolutely no concept of self-preservation."

"Are you threatening me?" I gasped, tugging on my hand. His sharp eyes darted around the dim restaurant, noting the way we were beginning to attract attention.

"Bella, this is not the time or place for this discussion," he said lowly, his features turning soft and pleading. He was manipulating me, but goddamn it, it was working.

"Listen. I'm going to go outside now, because I _choose_ to. Not because you think it wouldn't be a good idea to cause a scene." I never took my eyes from Edward as I unfolded his fingers from my hand and proceeded to the front of the restaurant, with him hot on my heels. Ignoring the eyes that followed us, I hurried outside, cursing under my breath when I realized that my only way out of here was in a car with the fuckhot weirdo standing behind me.

I began to question my motives for being here with him. Was it just animal attraction? Did I even _like_ him? Was he a nice person, someone I'd bring home to meet Charlie? Take to see Renee? It was all suddenly too much, and I whirled to face him.

"I don't even know if I _like_ you! You won't tell me about yourself! All I know is that I feel this pull whenever you're around, and I don't like not feeling in control of myself. I don't know anything about your family, aside from your sister―and don't even get me started about _her_ weirdness! I don't know how old you are, or where you went to school, or what your middle name is. I don't know your favorite color," I added, my voice cracking with emotion. "But you know what the difference is between you and me?" I swallowed hard, only because I had to, not because I wanted to give him a chance to respond.

He shook his head, opening his mouth to reply, but I rudely barged ahead.

"The difference is that I actually _want_ to know those things...and you don't." My eyes welled to nearly overflowing, but I'd be damned if I would cry in front of him. "You don't know what the hell you want! You want me one minute and push me away in the next. Well, I'll make up your mind for you. Take me home, and leave me alone."

_Do I really want that?_

_Yes. No..._

We stood there in silence, cloaked in the dim light of the barren parking lot, neither of us moving. He'd effectively called my bluff without a word, and I wanted to hate him for it...but I just couldn't.  
_  
_"When I first saw you...sensed you," he finally began, "I was drawn your way against my will. Simply being near you sets me on alert; every cell is extra-sensitized, tuned to your specific frequency. I can't stay away... I've never met anyone like you in my entire existence, Bella. I'm quite positive there will never be another to rival you.

"I want to know everything about you. Your every thought, every feeling, every desire. When I'm not with you, I can think of nothing else. You said you don't like being out of control? Well, neither do I. Because if I can't control myself...this could end so badly for both of us."

During his speech, he'd wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling my lower half against his. His other hand rested on my breastbone, touching the bare skin exposed by the notch in the neckline of my dress.

"Edward, I don't understand. I don't know what to say."

"Tell me to leave you alone. Tell me you never want to see me again."

"I can't. It's not true," I whispered, though I didn't want to admit it.

"I'm...I'm not a good person, Bella." He was behind me all of a sudden, his cold lips buried in the crook of my neck. Once again, I felt the tinglings of danger, as if letting him anywhere near that vulnerable spot might trigger my fight-or-flight response. But somehow, I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

"I don't believe that." Turning my head toward his, I laid a soft kiss against the hair behind his ear, drawing the scent of him into my lungs. "I trust you." _Mostly. _

"Don't." I knew the word was meant to be sharp, to push me away, but I could feel the way his lips trembled against my neck as he spoke. My nerves were still jumping, energy sparking over my skin at his touch.

"I know you don't mean that." Even as the words tumbled from my lips, he was edging closer, his body tensing until the hard planes and angles of him seemed brittle and rigid. I leaned into him, trying to give comfort in any way I could, in spite of the fear coursing through my veins. My body was afraid, but my mind told me that this was Edward, and he wouldn't hurt me. I was sure of it...mostly.

The cool, clean scent of him soothed my rattled nerves, wrapping me in a kind of sensual lethargy that made me want to nearly crawl inside his skin. Resting my cheek against his, I let my lips trace over his ear in the barest whisper, and I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on mine again.

In the mere difference of a second, he was feet away from me, unlocking the passenger side of the car and gesturing for me to get in. I was still reeling in shock from the speed of his movements, and I wondered for a moment if I'd had too much wine with dinner.

"Come and take a ride with me." His face was guarded, but I could see that his eyes sparked fire even in the darkness. There was no question he wanted me too, but obviously, he was the stronger one.

"Where are we going?" Almost unwittingly, I went to him, enjoying the feel of his hard, cool hands as he helped me into the car.

"Somewhere we can talk."

* * *

_As one of my prereaders said, "Dun dun DUN!"_

_Sorry for that. I'll try to be a bit speedier with the next one._

_Let me know what you think... Is Edward too much of a creeper? An asshole? Too pretty and sparkly? Does he have out-of-control sideburns? Okay, I'm rambling. Thank you all for reading!_


	6. Phase Change

_Thanks to AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal for prereading/beta work. Any mistakes are mine. __Extra awesomeness to famouslyso for making me an amazing banner that includes a stalkertastic hoodie._

_I don't own Twilight._

_

* * *

_

**-Chapter 6: Phase Change-**

The interior of the car was silent except for the soft noise of the road. Edward headed toward the Narrows, and I assumed he'd changed his mind about talking. It seemed he was taking me home, and I wasn't happy about it.

Hands clenched tightly on the steering wheel, he stared straight out at the freeway, jaw tense and body rigid.

"Would you like to listen to some music?" he asked suddenly, the sound of his voice causing me to jump.

"Why bother? We're almost back to Bremerton. We'll be back at my house in no time. Then you can be rid of me." So what if I sounded like a shrew? I was tired of him jerking me around. There were only so many times I could reach out to him and get rejected before I had to give up, if only to save my sanity.

"I'm not taking you home." He sighed wearily, looking more like a ran-ragged parent than a young man. "I should be, but I'm not."

I ignored the last half. "You're not?"

"No."

Jesus. It was like pulling teeth with him. "Okay...so what, you can't speak until we get out of the car? Did I jinx you and forget about it or something?"

He cracked a small smile. "Jinx? I didn't know people still played that."

"Of course they do! How else could I weasel free Coke out of coworkers and friends?"

"Or get them to be quiet for more than a minute at a time."

"Well, you certainly don't have that problem," I groused, turning slightly in my seat so I could watch him. "Are you saying I talk too much?"

"Only when you're asking me questions I can't answer." His smile faded, and the conversation stalled again. Traffic dwindled until other cars were few and far between.

"Can't, or won't?" I finally questioned, trying to prod him into talking again.

"Both," he sighed, raking a hand through his hair in what I was beginning to realize was a nervous gesture for him.

"You're impossible!" I shut my eyes and let my head drop back against the plush headrest.

"Right back at you," he fired back, whipping the car over to the side of the deserted road in a crunch of gravel and dust before cutting the engine. I hadn't even realized we'd driven straight past Bremerton and entered one of the more..._wild_ areas of the Peninsula.

"Where are we?" It was dark, the woods shrouded in a fog that made the night seem heavy and cloying, like it would eat me up―and thoroughly enjoy doing so. Tension crawled over my skin, skittering like invisible spiders up my spine.

"You wanted to talk...I just picked a place."

"So you drove out to the middle of nowhere? I have to be honest with you, Edward...this is more than a little strange," I told him, my voice sounding small in the interior of the car. "We could have just talked on my porch or something."

"Aren't you used to it by now?" The slight smile was back, which helped to ease my nerves.

"I should be. You never do what I expect."

"I might say the same about you," he replied softly, clearing his throat and mussing his hair again before letting his hand drop to his lap. My eyes trailed both movements.

"So why here? Need a convenient place to dump my body?"

He glared at me, anger flashing hot and bright in his eyes. I blinked, and it was gone―had I imagined it? Finally, he took a deep breath and stared at his hands, appearing to center himself.

"I...I lived around here a long time ago. It's private, and it makes me feel at ease." I glanced through the windshield, out into the foggy night. It certainly wasn't an atmosphere I'd call relaxing, but I wasn't about to question it and risk him clamming up again. "I think my family has recently moved back to the area, in fact."

"You think? You don't know?"

"I don't have a lot of contact with them anymore." He looked down at his lap, folding his hands together. The sadness in his tone was palpable, but there was also an underlying current of anger interwoven in his words.

I reached out to him, putting my hand on his forearm lightly. "I'm sorry," I whispered, torn between begging him to keep going and hugging him until that crease between his eyebrows went away.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. It changes nothing. It's my fault, anyway―I'm the one who left."

"Edward...why can't you go back? When I spoke to Alice today...it seemed like she really missed you."

"I miss her, too." He met my eyes, his flashing in the darkness in a way that was unnerving. "But she's part of the reason I couldn't stay with them any longer."

"Did you have a fight?" I asked, wondering what could be bad enough to drive a brother and sister apart. As an only child, my fondest wish had been for a sibling, so it was hard for me to fathom a falling-out so huge.

He smiled, and it was genuine. "Lots of them." His voice turned wistful, and he said, "But yes, there was a big one. You've met her, so you know about her..._talent_, yes?"

I frowned. "That she's nosy? She's a damn good guesser? Is that what you mean?"

"It's a little more than that. She can...she can see the future," he revealed, avoiding my gaze.

"Alice is psychic?" I wasn't sure if I believed in such things, but it sort of made sense when I thought about our encounters. All the things she'd known...

"Something like that."

"Do you _ever_ give a straight answer?"

"Yes."

I waited for him to elaborate, but after a few moments, his lips twitched, and I knew I'd be waiting for a long time. I couldn't help but smile back. "I finally get one, and you're teasing me."

"Have to keep you on your toes somehow."

"Oh, you're doing a great job of that," I told him dryly, giving him a sour look.

Another long stretch of silence, and then he said, "She knew everything. I couldn't do anything without being told what would happen beforehand. And then...then, she told me I'd become a monster."

I couldn't control the little gasp that slipped from my lips. Fury―at Alice―began to gather in the back of my mind.

"You're not a monster." I let everything I felt for him bleed into my voice. No matter how strange I thought he was, I knew he wasn't a monster. My hand still rested on his forearm, and I gave in to temptation, running my fingers along the cool cashmere of his sweater and the hardness of muscle beneath. My fingertips were growing cold and tingly the longer I touched him, but I couldn't bear to break the connection.

He chuckled, but it wasn't a happy sound. It was bleak, listless. "That's where you're wrong. I_ did _become a monster. Sometimes, I think I still am."

I didn't know what to say. He _wasn't_ a monster―I knew it. He might have been a giant creep and extremely frustrating, but he wasn't _bad_.

"I've killed people, Bella," he admitted baldly.

"I don't care." The words were out of my mouth before I even knew they'd formed in my brain. Not only were they incredibly stupid, but I was shocked to realize they were absolutely true.

"I was going to kill _you_."

_That_ gave me pause. Every muscle fiber went on alert; every hair stood on end. I reached for the door handle, but heard the snick of the mechanical locks before my hand was even halfway to the lever. His hand clamped down on mine, holding it to his forearm. Heart pounding―and not from his good looks―I whipped my head around to meet his gaze. His eyes glittered in the ambient glow from the dashboard, and I swore I could see the blue light flashing out at me.

_Just like one of the cats..._

I gulped down a few deep breaths, clenching the one hand I had control of into a fist in my lap, so he wouldn't see my fingers trembling. On my other side, my hand was tingling, numbing cold spreading up my arm from where my fingers were pressed between two layers of his hard flesh.

"Well," I whispered, "that changes things."

His eyes darkened as he leaned toward me, his pupils dilating as he took a deep breath, nostrils flaring slightly.

"Finally developing a little sense of self-preservation?" he taunted, coming so close I could feel his cold breath on my lips. I couldn't look away, mesmerized by the thin sliver of ochre ringing his pupils, and I could no longer deny that he wasn't human. Not by a long shot.

"Why don't you just get it over with, then?" My voice wavered, in spite of all the effort I expended to sound brave in my last moments.

_How could I have been so wrong?_

I squeezed my eyes shut and waited, wondering if it would be fast or slow. Blissfully swift or tortuously, painfully drawn-out. Since I'd willingly deprived myself of sight, every other sense was magnified. Sounds crashed over me, and the scents overwhelmed my brain...especially the scent of _him.._.

The sweet, fresh scent of rain and man and _home _wrapped around me, enveloping me in a falsely calming embrace.

The whisper of skin on skin as he removed his hand from mine was deafening, almost drowning out the crisp, smooth swish of his sweater as he leaned closer.

Gently, he grasped my chin, his fingers sending frissons of sparking heat dancing all over my body. He guided my head in his direction, leaving the tender flesh of my neck vulnerable as he pulled me to face him.

"You can't stay away...everything about me draws you in, doesn't it?" Another long pause. "But it's not supposed to be the same for me," he whispered, so close I imagined I could feel the very air between us shift. "I can't figure it out...I can't figure _you_ out."

_Where is the pain? Am I dead already?_

Cool, firm lips nudged against mine, a ghostly caress of cold and electricity. Fragrant, intoxicating breath washed over me as he pressed closer, the tip of his tongue snaking out to smooth its way over my bottom lip.

_This might not be a bad way to go..._

His low moan passed over my lips, the vibration sensual, dark, and rife with need. I gasped against his mouth, allowing him to tentatively touch his tongue to mine in a slow, purposeful dance. It wasn't a true open-mouthed kiss, but somehow, this meeting of mouths and lips and tongues seemed more intimate than the most explicit sexual act.

When he pulled away, I slowly raised my eyelids, meeting his eyes, which were nearly glowing with banked lust.

"I can't do it, Bella. Even though I should―it would make things so much easier―I can't kill you." He paused, sweeping a fingertip over the slope of my cheekbone. "I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

He placed his hand over my throat, his fingers spreading out to cover every bit of skin he could reach. Once again, his mouth closed over mine, more eager, less tentative, and ten times as potent. Even as frantic questions whirled through my head, I couldn't stop kissing him. It was as if my brain didn't control my body anymore, and sensation was king. Who cared about death when I could feel the edge of Heaven in his arms?

I longed to feel his teeth nipping at my lips, raking over my tongue as I tasted him in return. But he always kept his mouth closed to mine, only letting me venture as far as the delicious inner curve of his lower lip. He didn't hold himself to the same restrictions, tasting me as if I were a prized delicacy.

I'd never had a man savor me before, but it felt like that was exactly what he was doing. He kissed me like he was memorizing my taste, my smell―the very essence of me―and he had all the time in the world in which to do it. I leaned closer, pressing my hand flat on his abdomen to brace myself. It was as if I was touching bare skin―I could feel the energy coursing between us at this point of contact as well, and it was just as intense as his kiss. Slowly, I explored him, memorizing the planes and dips of his firm body underneath the soft sweater.

Finally, he pulled back, resting his forehead against mine.

"I can feel your heart pounding," he breathed, the words another caress on my tingling lips. "Are you afraid?"

_Hell fucking yes, I'm afraid!_ _Afraid you'll stop kissing the daylights out of me..._

"No." I wasn't even sure if he heard me, my voice was so quiet.

"I do this to you?" he asked, his tone laced with wonder.

"Yes. Only you." I flexed my fingers against his chest, letting my hand wander near his left pec. My eyes were still closed, forehead still pressed to his, heart still racing at a frantic pace.

My heart.

Not _his _heart.

No rhythmic thudding touched my palm, and it was pressed tight to the left side of his chest.

My eyes snapped open, my vision filled with the amber glow of his irises. I stiffened while he deliberately softened, his eyes warming as he looked into the very heart of me.

"I can't _tell_ you what I am," he whispered, and I somehow deciphered his hidden meaning. How I did it, I had no idea, but I knew I was right.

"If I guess?"

He remained silent, only bringing his free hand up to cover mine on his chest. His head dipped, and the tip of his nose ran along the sensitive flesh just under my ear. He inhaled deeply, and then the smooth, wet slide of his tongue followed, his lips closing over the skin at the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

"If you guess, I won't deny it," he whispered, removing his hand from my throat and placing it over mine where it rested against him.

"Are you going to kill me if I guess correctly?"

He chuckled, a sound full of mingled amusement and pain. "I couldn't kill you any more than you could kill me..."

"But you said you were going to," I whispered absently, focusing on our hands, just to ensure I was really touching him. His chest was so still...

_No heartbeat...he's so hard and cold...and he takes my heat._ He drew me near like he could suck me into himself, make me part of him...use me for his own strength. An idea began to take shape in my mind, swirling with thoughts of immortality, sex, and blood, but I couldn't make myself voice it yet.

He took my palm from his chest and brought it to his lips. "To kill you would be to kill my soul." He sighed, a bleak, weary gust of breath. "If I had one."

A pang of sadness squeezed my heart. _  
__  
__What's happened to him? He thinks he's soulless..._

"Show me where you used to live." I wasn't sure why I wanted to see. All I knew was that the atmosphere of secrets and mystery in the car was threatening to crush me.

"I'm not even sure if it's still there."

"Show me anyway."

Slowly, he pulled away and started the car, the engine coming to life with a quiet hum. I watched his hands as he grasped the stick shift in one and effortlessly controlled the steering wheel with the other. We didn't speak again as he sped down another dilapidated road that led deeper into the coniferous forest. Suddenly, he whipped the car onto a gravel pathway I hadn't even seen, it was so hidden by trees and vines.

"There are no signs...how can you remember the way?" My voice seemed loud in the confines of the car, and I thought I saw him start at the sound. As we reached a little clearing, he brought the vehicle to a lurching stop. His gaze was focused straight ahead, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"I remember everything," was all he said. Finally, I tore my eyes from him to focus on what held his attention, gasping as I took it all in.

A huge, white, Victorian-styled home sat in the middle of the clearing, lights glowing brightly from windows on all three floors. It was a beacon in the middle of the forest and fog, and hominess emanated from every plank of wood, every pane of glass.

"It's beautiful. You grew up here?"

He frowned, his expression shrouded in darkness. "Not exactly, but yes, I guess you could call it that."

I reached out to shove his shoulder, but he didn't budge. "Can you tell the Crypt Keeper to go away? I was enjoying spending time with Edward."

His face softened, a slight smile curving his lips. "I wasn't a child when I lived here, but this is where I learned what I could be. What I could and couldn't do...where I learned that I can't always escape my past." The smile disappeared as he finished speaking, his entire body tensing in his statue-impersonation.

Again, whispers gathered in the back of my mind, telling me tales of inhuman beings blessed with beauty, strength, and grace―_deadly_ grace. Forcing them away, I turned my attention back to the house.

A lone figure now stood on the veranda, shadowed against the warm light coming from inside.

"Alice," Edward whispered, and as if the person on the porch could hear him, they raised one hand in a tentative wave.

My eyes darted between the house and Edward, finally freezing on the building as one by one, five others emerged to join the first.

A low curse came from Edward's side of the car, and before I realized what was happening, he whipped the car into reverse, making a K-turn and speeding off, leaving shards of gravel and ruts of shredded earth in our wake.

"Who were those people? Are you afraid they'll shoot us for trespassing?" I tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't work. He remained silent, knuckles going white as he gripped the steering wheel. A subtle crack sounded in the car, and the once-perfect circle sagged where his hand had been.

_Holy shit. Holy...SHIT._

"My family."

Blinking in shock and trying to reel in my overactive imagination, I said, "Wow, you guys really don't get along, huh?"

He laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. His eyes remained focused on the road ahead.

"Well, at least now you know for sure they're back, right?" When he didn't respond, I looked down at my lap, trying to think of anything to relieve the awful tension that had taken over. My knee wouldn't quit bouncing, no matter how many times my brain told it to stop. I slapped my palm to the top of my thigh, digging in with my fingertips. It seemed to help, for the moment. "But why did they move back to the same house? I mean, you guys moved in the first place...but that house is so beautiful, so I guess I can see why they came back," I babbled.

"They like familiar things. We always come back...full circle." He pulled the car to a stop at the curb, and I realized we were in front of my house. I hadn't even noticed the time flying by.

I let out a relieved breath when he turned off the engine, because that meant he'd at least walk me to my door...and maybe kiss me again... He came around to open my door for me, and helped me from the car. His hand remained firmly closed about mine as we walked up the sidewalk toward my porch.

It wasn't until Edward froze and brought us to an abrupt stop that I noticed Tyler sitting on the steps, the porch light casting his face in shadow.

"Do it and your death will be ten times worse," Edward threatened, taking one step in Tyler's direction.

_Do what? He hasn't even said anything yet._ I had to make myself ignore the whole 'death' part.

"Edward, ignore him. He's not worth it." I followed him, tugging on the sleeve of his sweater, but he wouldn't budge.

"He may not be worth it, but _you_ are," he said through clenched teeth, giving me a sidelong glance.

"Got yourself a gentleman, huh, Bells?" Tyler sneered as he lurched to his feet, his features twisted in a very unattractive mixture of jealousy and hate. I could smell the alcohol coming off him in waves.

"For her, yes. For you? Never." Edward's words were laced with venom, his eyes glowing with a sheen that made my heart beat faster.

"Right. Because gentlemen fuck girls that are already taken." Tyler looked directly at me, hatred screaming from every inch of him. "Are you still going to tell me you weren't screwing around with this guy behind my back?"

"You speak of her like a possession." Edward cocked his head to the side, staring Tyler down as he took another step forward, bringing him within arm's reach. "That's what makes you so angry, isn't it? That she chose me over you?" One more step, and this time Tyler took an answering step back, his eyes widening.

Finally, he swallowed hard, searching for a response. "So you admit to poaching on my territory?"

I couldn't keep silent any longer. Stalking over to him, I poked my finger at his chest. "_Your territory?_ What the fuck, Tyler? We're over. Broken up. Finished."

He grabbed my wrist, squeezing brutally as he yanked me toward him. One moment I was blinking as his breath literally stung my eyes, and in the next I was shoved backwards, landing hard on my backside and sliding in the dewy grass. I didn't even have a chance to cry out before Tyler disappeared in a blur of bronze and grey. Ignoring the pain in my wrist, I climbed to my feet to look around for Edward.

My brain wasn't ready for what my eyes were telling me. I blinked once, twice, but the image before me remained the same.

Edward was holding Tyler by the throat, pressing him up high against the big elm in my front yard.

Holding him with _one hand_, his arm fully extended so that his opponent's feet dangled a good two feet from the ground.

Leaning closer, Edward began to whisper what I could only assume were threats of impaling, disemboweling, quartering, or something equally gruesome, since Tyler pissed his pants about halfway through the muffled discussion. The weaker man clawed at Edward's hand in an attempt to free himself, but it did no good. His fingernails tore and broke, sending blood dripping down over the exposed skin of Edward's wrist to disappear beneath the cuff of his sweater. I knew I should have been worried for Tyler, since he was the one being virtually strangled, but Edward was bleeding.

I didn't want him to bleed for me.

"Edward, stop!" His head whipped around at the sound of my voice, eyes searching for mine. They were wide and dark, filled with roiling emotions I couldn't even begin to name. At my request, he simply dropped his prey to the ground and stared at the quivering heap of man in front of him.

_Prey..._

I shook my head, eager to be rid of the thought, but it wouldn't go away.

_Strength...speed..._

_He never eats. He has no heartbeat. He's so cold, and he can stay still as a statue..._

_The way he speaks sometimes..._

_He says he's_ soulless.

That idea I'd had before was screaming in my brain now, and it was one word. _Vampire_.

And I was certifiably, completely fucking nuts, because I was still standing there like an idiot when I should have been dialing 9-1-1.

"Get out of here," Edward commanded, the words laced with a menacing rumble that I was pretty sure was the product of my wild imagination.

Gasping and choking, Tyler staggered to his feet and ran drunkenly toward the van, wasting no time in starting the vehicle, tires squealing as he fled for his life.

I let out a shuddering breath, glancing up and down the virtually empty street. Satisfied that no one had seen anything―_yet..._Tyler's hasty departure might have drawn some attention― I slowly headed in Edward's direction. His eyes never left me as I approached.

"Are you okay?" I asked in a small voice, jumping when I heard his bewildered laugh.

"You're asking me if _I'm_ okay? After what I did?" The disbelief was plain on his face, those eyes pinning me with that predatory stare.

"He's an asshole," I whispered shakily, trying for a little shrug. It might have looked more like a zombie shuffle. I took his uninjured hand and tugged him toward the house, more than a little surprised when he followed me easily. "Come on, let's clean you up."

* * *

So she knows. But he doesn't know she knows yet. Do you still want to kill me?

If you've got theories, I'd love to hear them. ;)

Want to read something funny? I think it's something we can all laugh at. After all, it pokes fun at one of the major 'rules' of fic - that Edward's penis must be monstrously huge.

**A Dose of Reality, by Aspenleaf**

http : /www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net /s/ 6380191/1/A_Dose_Of_Reality

_An unusually quiet Sunday turns horrifying when an unexpected case hobbles through a Seattle hospital's ER doors. Throw in a nightmare and the MC and hilarity ensues. E/B_

Maybe next week for an update? Two weeks at the most. God, I hope I'm not lying. Thank you all for reading, and for all the nice comments!


	7. Activation Energy

_I don't own_ Twilight. _No copyright infringement is intended._

_Many thanks to the usual suspects, Amerymarie, Yoga_Gal, and famouslyso for helping me rein in the silliness. _

_

* * *

_**-Chapter 7: Activation Energy-**

Edward followed me to the bathroom sink in silence, but balked when I tried to clean off his hand.

"I can do it myself, Bella," he snapped, his voice rough with tension. Dark, wild eyes still dominated his features, and I added another check to the 'vampire' column in the mental tally. We stared each other down, neither one of us willing to give in. I wanted to clean him up; he obviously didn't want me to touch him.

For good measure, I added a check to the 'Bella is fucking nuts' column.

"Just let me do it, Edward. Or I'll kick you out of here." I was straight-up lying, but he didn't have to know that...

"You've seen enough tonight," he said, pointing toward the door in a gesture that infuriated me.

"Oh, for Christ's sake!" I slapped his finger out of my way. "Sit down and shut up, vampire." Thrusting my palm against his chest, I pushed him back to sit on the toilet, ignoring the pain in my wrist and certain in the knowledge that he only did as I directed because he was in shock. His jaw hung open, brows high, as he simply stared at me.

I waited for a denial, ready to start smacking him upside the head if he tried to play this off. He said nothing, his gaze becoming something different entirely as it filled with an amused curiosity I knew well.

After all, I saw it daily in my profession.

Unable to maintain the creepy eye contact any longer, I grabbed a washcloth from the cabinet and ran it under the faucet until it was dripping with warm water, then wrung out the rag with a businesslike twist of my hands―until I ruined it by wincing as I put too much pressure on my swollen wrist.

The sharp intake of breath that accompanied it snapped Edward out of his trance.

"He hurt you." It wasn't a question, but a statement that contained all manner of threats that I had no doubt he could carry out in an instant.

I heard Tyler's death in those words.

After an excruciatingly long moment, I answered, "I'm fine. You're the one who's bleeding."

"But Bella―"

"Shut. Up."

His jaw closed with an audible snap of his teeth as he held out his hand. Trying to hide the self-satisfied twitch of my lips at the victory, I tugged the sleeve of his sweater up near his elbow and ran the cloth over his wrist, wiping away the rust-colored smudges that stained the expanse of pale skin. _Don't think about the blood, don't think about the blood...if you pass out, he'll run away!_

It was my turn to catch flies when I saw his hand was clean―of _everything_, including the scratches and cuts I swore I'd seen Tyler inflict.

Another check in the 'vampire' tally...and another one in the 'fucking nuts' column, just because it was the only explanation for why I was still standing in front of this creepy, cryptic person.

...Cryptic..._vampire_.

"I was trying to tell you it wasn't mine," he said as I turned his hand over and over in my palms, still looking for something I obviously wasn't going to find. "I don't bleed."

That meant Tyler had torn his fingers on what? Edward's skin?

"How...?"

"Very little can injure me, other than fire or dismemberment."

"Oh, that's it?" I asked caustically. "Me, too."

Brows drawing together in a confused frown, he shook his head. "I don't understand you..."

"Must be a limitation of the _vampire_ brain," I tried again. Anything to get him to acknowledge what I knew to be true.

"You didn't let me finish. Is it a natural trait of humans to hide fear with sarcasm? Has something changed in all these years?"

"You speak of 'humans' like you hold yourself apart from the species," I challenged.

His frown became a downright scowl, his eyes sharpening, holding me in place with nothing more than his stare, but he said nothing.

"Because you do, don't you?" I prodded softly, tossing the dirty cloth into the sink as I waited for a response. _Please, Edward, you can tell me...please tell me I'm not insane!  
_  
"Yes," he hissed, and it was a sound no human should make. Fear grew into a cold ball in my belly at the noise, but I did my best to beat it back.

"I'm right...you're a...a..." _Vampire._

I didn't know why I couldn't make myself say the word. After all, it had just slipped out only a few minutes before. Maybe it was the way he stared at me, those catlike, calculating eyes holding me in place. Maybe it was the way his scent filled the tiny bathroom, wrapping me in tendrils of warmth and home and comfort, despite the rush of adrenaline that coursed through my veins.

"Just say it, Bella," he demanded, his voice once again human, but the rigidness of his expression was anything but. "I promised if you guessed correctly, I wouldn't deny it. But I want you to say the words."

Squeezing my eyes shut tightly, I drew in a deep breath and rushed out, "You're a vampire."

He sighed, and I swore I could taste his sweet breath as it wafted over my lips. "Yes."

"The Dracula kind. The blood-drinking, mind-controlling, night-dwelling..."

"Yes," he interrupted shortly. I finally opened my eyes to find him regarding me with more of that flat amusement I found so compelling. I really _was_ insane...

"But I've seen you out during the day. I thought vampires burned up in the sun."

"No, that's a myth. There are other reasons we don't go out in direct sunlight. Everyone would know we were different."

"What is it?" Obviously, I knew nothing about real vampires. Where was the cape? Where were the fangs, the bats, the castles and dungeons in Transylvania?

He shrugged sheepishly, taking my hand in his gentle fingers so he could examine my injured wrist. Their cool temperature felt heavenly against the swollen joint, and it was all I could do not to sigh at his touch. The contact seemed to comfort him, and I welcomed his relaxation―his calm demeanor soothed my frayed nerves.

"I'd rather show you sometime. It's not exactly something that's easy to explain."

"Okay, so show me. But you have to at least give me a hint."

His lips twitched in a smile, and I bet he would have blushed if he could. _What could be so embarrassing for him? _ "Our skin is hard, like a crystal or diamond. Our cell membranes are smooth and reflective because of the carbon skeleton the molecules are left with after the change."

"Reflective? Oh! Is that why vampires don't have reflections?" I asked excitedly. He simply pointed behind me, to the perfectly normal reflection of the two of us in the full-length mirror that hung on my bathroom door.

"Another myth. Just like turning into a bat and being repelled by garlic or running water."

"Oh, I was going to ask about the bat thing. Wait, you're distracting me! What happens to you in the sun?"

"You're the one who interrupted me first." The smile was now a smirk. I stayed silent and let him play with my arm, dividing my attention between his face and the goose bumps that were popping up all over my body at the stroke of his fingers across the thin skin of my wrist.

"As I was saying, the molecular structure of the cell membrane adds a reflective property to each cell, which effectively turns our skin into billions of tiny mirrors in direct sunlight."

"Like a prism?"

"Yes, just like that," he answered with a tight smile, looking like he was waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

It took a minute for his words to sink in, and when they did, I snorted. I didn't even care that it made me sound like I should have been hunting truffles instead of having this conversation; it was that damn hilarious.

"No way! You're telling me vampires _sparkle?" _  
_  
_He sighed wearily. "This is why I wanted to show you. To avoid all this."

"Believe me, 'showing' wouldn't have made things any easier for you, except maybe now I won't laugh as hard when I see it!

"No wonder you're all so secretive! If this got out, vampires would lose all their street cred!" Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, I was laughing so hard. "Oh, my God...all this time, I thought vampires were the _cool_ monsters, but instead..." I almost fell over as I kept laughing until I ran out of air. He took advantage of my clumsiness and pulled me down to sit across his thighs, rolling his eyes at my amusement. "You guys should be hanging out with the unicorns and Tinkerbelles!"

"Need I remind you that Tinkerbelle does not eat people? Vampires do."

I think he meant for that statement to scare me, but all it did was set off a flurry of activity in my head.

"You didn't eat Tyler."

His lips curled in distaste. "He's not very appetizing."

"Well, what's appetizing?" I fired off, hoping he'd go along with my impromptu interrogation. It was so hard to concentrate when he was this close... "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" The words sent a wash of his breath over my lips, and I swore I could taste the sweetness it carried. "I can't help it, Bella. It's all part and parcel...it's what I am. You want to know what's appetizing?" He leaned closer, his eyes holding me captive. His pupils had returned to normal, letting me see more of the ochre and amber in his irises. "You are almost impossible to resist."

I blinked and sucked in a breath. "Me?" I was boring. Plain. Like a cheeseburger without ketchup. _No, don't think about ketchup! It looks like blood..._

"You. I can't lie and say I no longer find you irresistibly appealing, because I do―but it's so much different now," he whispered, reaching out to toy with the ends of my hair. "You're far too interesting to be food." A smile flirted with the corner of his lips, which sparked a flush that crept up my chest and heated my cheeks.

Now that the silly girl inside was thoroughly incapacitated, the scientist in me took over. How often did one get to 'discover' a new species, let alone speak with a member of the population? Besides, my poor brain needed the break, and scientific curiosity was as natural to me as breathing.

"Do you eat people? Do they die if you do? Are there vampire restaurants? Are they like blood banks? Do people taste different if they've eaten certain things―" Edward put a finger over my lips, regarding me with a look of thorough confusion. "What?"

"Your mind is a dangerous place, isn't it?" There was laughter in that velvety tone, and the sound alone increased my body temperature by a few degrees.

"I like to think it's rather entertaining," I returned, not quite sure if I should be offended by his comment.

"I have no doubt," he said wistfully, pinning me with that intense stare once again. "I'd give anything to know what you're thinking."

All of a sudden, something else dawned on me. "Are you trying to pull some kind of Jedi mind-trick shit on me when you do that?"

He laughed easily. "Unfortunately, my Jedi mind-tricks don't work on you."

"So you admit you have them!" I didn't know why I sounded so self-important, but I felt like I'd just discovered the secret to cold fusion or uncovered the Missing Link.

"Don't you think it's time that I got to ask a few questions?" He was trying to distract me again. He'd stopped playing with my wrist, but now his fingers trailed along the hem of my dress, teasing the tops of my knees. Still, I couldn't give in. I wasn't giving him any more wiggle room to hold back important information.

Then again, he could always change his mind and decide to kill me if I asked too much..._screw it_.

"I don't think so. Maybe you'll get a turn when I'm eighty."

"Why are you not afraid of me?" he muttered, and I was pretty sure it was more to himself than for my benefit_. _Sighing again, he stood up with me still in his arms, like I weighed nothing more than a square of toilet paper. I barely registered the change in position before we were suddenly in my bedroom. My stomach was somewhere back in the bathroom―it was almost like that first elevator ride we all remember from childhood. A weird, sort of scary, but totally cool sensation that you couldn't wait to feel again once it was over.

"You're fast," I said dumbly, blinking as he sat me gently in the center of the bed before stepping back.

"Very." He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the far wall.

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?" He smirked as he said it, raising one perfectly shaped―yet still masculine―eyebrow. _There...if that's not a vampire mind-trick, I don't know what is!_ Most guys I knew either had a uni-brow or looked like they'd had a bad run in with a sadistic bitch and her evil tweezers.

"Quit looking at me like that," I snapped, mirroring his posture from my position on the bed.

"I'm not doing anything," he protested, crossing one ankle over the other, the smugness radiating from his very pores. "I told you, my mind trick doesn't work on you."

"'Mind _trick?_' You only have one?"

"Only one."

"And it doesn't work on me...this is promising. So, what's your trick?" I tucked my knees up against my chest, resting my chin on the convenient resting place they provided. Edward's eyes got that glazed, far-off look again, and I realized I was still wearing a dress―and showing him my underwear for the second time tonight. _At least these are the pretty ones_... I immediately brought my legs down to the bed and made sure I wasn't flashing him any longer.

Suddenly, he was right next to the bed, literally casting his shadow over me as he blocked the light from the overhead lamp. I took a moment to be scared, but didn't dare move._  
_  
Then I put another check in the 'fucking nuts' column.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Surely he could temper his movements for someone with poor human eyesight.

"It's normal for me. Why should I hide it now?" He urged me to the side so he could sit in what was becoming his usual spot on my bed―I was now pretty sure at least some of my 'dreams' hadn't been dreams at all.

I let the information settle, and barely managed to hold back the most pressing question I could think of at the moment: Did vampires do _everything_ that fast?

"You, not hide something?" I couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"It's dangerous for you to know about my kind," he said. "It's dangerous for me, as well. Those that don't keep the secret are punished rather severely."

I shook my head quickly. "I won't tell anyone. You weren't exactly hiding yourself from me, you know."

Sighing lightly, he said in a wry tone, "I tried, Bella. You're very...persistent."

I returned his grin, because in my field, persistence was pretty much necessary. I considered it a compliment.

"Most people would have made an excuse to get away from someone like me in seconds, but you seem to lack that crucial instinct for self-preservation, lion tamer."

Okay, so he had me there. But was it really any different than other dangerous professions? People did crazy things in the name of vocation, and I told him as much.

"But why _me?_" I asked, because while there were tons of other things I wanted to know, that was the one thing I needed to hear.

"How long do you have?"

I stifled a laugh. "My mother always said, 'flattery will get you everywhere.' So go ahead, tell me how wonderful I am."

"You are so wonderfully absurd, Bella."

"And your vocabulary is so wonderfully antiquated, Edward," I mocked, enjoying the way my stomach flip-flopped at his brows winging down over his eyes as he scowled playfully in my direction. "How old are you...really?"

"One-hundred and ten," he answered simply, and I felt my eyebrows go sky-high without my permission.

"Wow. You're a pretty hot centenarian," I blurted, once again without my permission.

"Part and parcel," he reminded me, his face relaxing back into the slight smirk that heated my temper as well as other..._aspects_ of me.

"How long have you been a vampire?"

"I've been this way since 1918. I would have died of Spanish influenza, if not for..."

He kept speaking, and part of my brain knew it was a story I really wanted to hear, but I could only concentrate on one thing.

_He's seventeen? _

_He's seventeen. SEVENTEEN!_  
_  
Shit. I'm a cougar, and I'm not even twenty-five!_

"...Bella? Hello? I may not be able to read _your_ mind, but I can tell by the look on your face that you're not with me," Edward was saying, that amused, smug smile firmly in place.

There was something about the way he stressed 'your' that intrigued me, in spite of my mini May-December panic.

"Is that your trick? You read minds?"

"Of everyone...except for you. It's very frustrating," he said immediately, looking, for once, like he'd blurted out something without thinking. "Especially right now."

I had the vague thought that he was adorable when aggravated, and added another check for the 'fucking nuts' column. It was getting pretty damn full. I was beginning to wonder if I'd wake in the morning to discover I'd never actually woken up from my nap this afternoon. And what kind of sick puppy was I, dreaming about a gorgeous, sparkling, seventeen-year-old vampire?

"Let me get this straight...you read minds...and you're SEVENTEEN?" It slipped out as a sort-of yell, and he instantly started laughing.

"Physically, I'm ageless, but yes, that was my human age when changed. Why does that matter? You didn't have a clue before."

"But I'm twenty-four," I whispered in girlish dismay.

"You're the same twenty-four-year-old who called me a centenarian not more than ten minutes ago. The same young woman who figured me out...the very same woman who kissed me earlier." Each word was softer than the first, and he leaned infinitesimally closer to make up for the difference. By the time he finished, his lips were on mine, and then I didn't care that I was possibly a cougar when he kissed me like that.

No one I'd kissed at seventeen had moves that rivaled his.

-x-

Several nights later, Edward was back in my room as I got ready for bed. I knew he'd been in there at one point or another every night in between; because he'd admitted as much when he'd told me that most of my 'dreams' of him weren't really dreams. Not that he'd bothered hiding from me since that night.

I'd given up on my mental tally days ago. Both sides had been black with marks.

"Where are your fangs?" I called out from the bathroom, looking to where he sat in his usual spot. I quickly finished brushing my teeth and started washing my face.

"Unfortunately, being a vampire isn't _that_ glamorous. The venom alters us to the best of its ability, but ultimately, even the most supernatural of substances aren't exempt from parsimony."

Patting my cheeks dry, I swallowed hard. Saliva pooled in my mouth at the slew of scientific words he threw at me, while other things pooled elsewhere. Finished with my evening routine, I went and sat next to him, tucking my lower half under the covers.

"Instead of expending energy to create elongated canines, it simply makes the..._equipment_ we're born with more efficient. Our teeth are the same as yours, but infinitely stronger and sharper. So while we're given incredible abilities that assist in capturing our prey, once we achieve that obstacle, however, we're on our own," he finished with a slight grin. "The newly born can be...quite messy."

It was so wrong of me, but I understood the humor in his tone. The young of any species had to work out how best to eat, hunt, and track; there was always a learning curve.

"Isn't it my turn to ask questions yet?" he asked patiently. He knew I wasn't anywhere near done with him.

Shaking my head, I smiled sweetly at him. "Now, where were we?" I tapped my finger to my chin, trying to look profound. "Oh, yes. You said you only um, eat animals?"

"Several times, Bella. I'm not going to eat you." His eyes dipped toward my lap as he said it, making my whole body go hot.

"What kind? What do you do with the carcass? How often?" He'd already told me so much, but there was so much more I wanted to know.

He raked his hand through his hair, blowing out an exasperated breath. Shit. I probably sounded like an annoying three-year-old that constantly asked, 'Why?'

"A little bit of everything, I suppose? Deer, the occasional bear...wolves, if I'm starving," he finished with distaste. "Though none of those can compare to the real thing."

We both looked down in a moment of awkwardness, the silence stretching into long minutes.

"So, what's your favorite...substitute? Are there any good flavors out there?"

"Mountain lion..." he mumbled, looking off at something in the corner of the room, the guilt rolling off of him.

"Stop lying." I slapped lightly at his leg, my smile fading when he said nothing else. "Oh...you're serious."

"Is that fear I see in your eyes?" he asked with a teasing curve to his lips. "You fear for the cats, but not for yourself...interesting."

"Well, we've worked to hard to rehabilitate them! Too much work for them to end up as your next meal!" Those cats were part of a program all of us at the zoo had worked hard to create, a program that was too important to the wildlife in the Pacific Northwest. I believed in it wholeheartedly, and couldn't imagine doing anything else with my life.

"Calm down, Beautiful." It was _the_ voice, the one laced with warm chocolate and spicy cinnamon, that slowed the stream of ideas that all vied for attention in my head. "Your cats are safe. Mountain lions are an occasional treat."

"Like peanut butter fudge?" My stomach growled at the mere thought.

"I suppose, though I can't remember why peanut butter fudge would even sound appealing." Leaning closer, he dragged the tip of his nose along my cheek. "You, however, smell delicious." He paused below my ear, and the cool wash of his tongue swept over my skin. "And taste even better." He urged me back against the pillows with his body, letting me feel him, but without any of the weight I wanted to feel. I knew he was distracting me, and honestly, I didn't want to resist his efforts. He had the appalling tendency of kissing or touching me to shut me up―appalling only in the sense that I let him win every time.

His touch burned hot and cold down the length of my arm as he covered my mouth with his. One strong leg came to rest between my thighs, and he sighed against my lips, my name falling from his. I clutched him tighter, knowing that he would soon pull away. It never went much farther than this, though I certainly wouldn't complain if he wanted to try and steal home from first base.

Abruptly, he rolled to his back, bringing me to lie on top of him. No longer needing one arm to hold himself up, his other hand cupped my thigh and pulled it up near his hip. When he was satisfied, his fingers coasted back up my leg, over my hip; trailed a teasing path up my ribs...and back down again.

I ground my hips down on his in retaliation, thoroughly enjoying his low moan. Another roll and I was beneath him again, one hand pinning my hips to the bed while the other started that slow trek back up my body, this time slipping underneath the long-sleeved t-shirt I'd worn to bed. I shivered in response, eyelids fluttering open as he lifted his mouth from mine. Dark eyes gazed down into mine, which I now knew meant he was getting hungry.

I wanted to beg him not to stop, but couldn't find my voice. Instead, I licked the flavor of him from my lips, wanting one last taste of him if he was done. Now he was staring at my mouth, his hand sliding higher until he was finally circling my nipple with his thumb. I vaguely heard the low chime that signaled an incoming call, and I gripped the front of his shirt in my fists, silently begging him to ignore it. He only paused long enough to pull the phone from his pocket and drop it to the floor next to the bed, where it clattered away.

His eyes met mine for one blazing second, and then he was on me, his lips landing on mine in a cool wash of breath that sparked fires in the darkest parts of me. Blindly, I fumbled with the buttons below the open collar of his shirt, my eager and greedy fingertips tracing over hard, smooth flesh. When I had most of the buttons undone, I shoved my hands under the halves, needing to feel more of him, more of the bunch and pull of muscles under that glorious pale skin. My head swirled with warmth and light, currents flashing as synapses fired and filled and electricity seemed to course beneath my skin.

I tipped my head back as he dragged his mouth over my chin and buried his face in the crook of my neck. My hands found their way to the dips and planes of his back, and I held him to me as tightly as I could. He was stiffening up, becoming the Edward statue, and I didn't want that. Then his torso rumbled with the low vibration of that purr, a sensation that I could feel deep in every cell. He huffed out a breath just under my jaw, making me squirm against him in a ticklish fit of sensation, my hands going to his shoulders to try and fend him off as I giggled and squirmed underneath him.

One instant we were playing, and in the next, I was unable to move, heart pounding and head riding high on a blast of adrenaline. He held my wrists to the bed with one hand, the other encircling my throat as he loomed over me, his eyes glinting with a feral sheen. It wasn't painful at either point, but I knew there was no getting out of his hold.

"Edward?" I whispered, my voice cracking with disuse and the dry burn of fear. This time, I actually caught sight of the blur as he jumped backward, away from the bed―away from _me_. In the next second, his back was pressed up against the far wall of my room, fists clenched at his sides, his head down.

I came to my knees and started off the bed, but he held up a hand, stopping me before my feet could hit the cold floor.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and it sounded choked. I wondered if he was breathing at all. I knew now that he didn't have to. "I've gone too long without... I need to hunt."

"Why do you let yourself get so hungry?" How hard would it be, to have to ignore one's nature constantly?

"Feeding is not high on my list of favorite things to do...it's not pretty, Bella." Oh, but I was sure it was. To watch him in his element as he hunted, became the predator I knew was lurking under the civilized appearance, was quickly becoming one of my most secret wishes.

How well he knew me, even in the short time we'd really known one another. "Edward, anything involving you is pretty. You _do_ sparkle."

He inclined his head in my direction, his shoulders finally relaxing a bit. "Thanks very much," he said wryly, a little huff of laughter escaping with it. I gave him a tentative smile in response, the cold chill of fear nearly forgotten as warmth began to build once again inside me.

"Can I go with you?" I asked, before I could talk myself out of it.

"No!" he snapped, teeth closing with an audible click. Those broad shoulders stiffened again as he shot me a look filled with anger and disbelief. Then, in a softer tone, he continued, "I understand your curiosity, but I'm afraid that's something you'll never see. We can't risk it."

I let the subject drop for the moment, but I vowed I'd see him hunt someday. Eventually, I'd talk him into it.

"Go, eat." I waved him off, feeling a little bit grouchy from the after-effects of the hormone cocktail that had been spiking my blood for the last half-hour. My skin felt too tight; it was hot and itchy and sensitive, and it was all his fault. He bent over to retrieve his phone, and my mouth went dry at the sight of his abdominal muscles in action between the halves of his shirt. The mobile went into his back pocket again, and I suddenly wished to trade places with a hunk of plastic and microchips.

"Bella?" he asked, straightening to his full height, his gaze heating as he buttoned up his shirt.

"Yeah?" I heard the flutter in my voice, the insecurity―and if I could hear it, I knew he had, too.

"When I said I was sorry earlier...I was only sorry I had to stop. Be safe." And with that, he was gone, his wake sending the curtain fluttering in the breeze like a halfhearted goodbye.

* * *

_**parsimony**_,_ in the simplest (and best :) form - sometimes the simple explanation is the most likely one for any given occurrence._

_I'd love to know what you think! Thank you for reading._

_I'm working hard to have chapter 8 out next week. Cross your fingers. Until then, thanks again!  
_


	8. Molecularity

_I don't own Twilight. All characters/recognizable stuff are belong to SMeyer!__  
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__Thanks to AmeryMarie, Famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal for prereading/beta duties.__  
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__I'm a few days late, so I'll spare you the chatter. See you at the bottom!_

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**-Chapter 8: Molecularity-**

With Edward's reappearance in my life, the days and weeks flew by. I lived by the 'Edward clock'―the times when I wasn't with him seemed to fade into the background.

He was by turns fascinating and frustrating, still tight-lipped as ever when it came to the details of his past. Sometimes I wondered if I'd be an old woman before I heard the whole story. Snippets of a memory here and there, the occasional bleak, melancholy reference, and plenty of jaded advice regarding mortals and their tendencies were all I could get from him.

I knew next to nothing about the Edward of the past, but I was quite well-acquainted with the Edward of today―and that was all I needed to know, according to him.

I made it quite clear that it wasn't always going to be enough, but he always insisted that he had forever to make sure it was.

I usually let him think he'd won. If he had forever, then he had plenty of time to learn that Bella Swan didn't let go of things easily.

While he was less than forthcoming about the rift between him and his family, we were never without topics to discuss. We loved the same books, had similar tastes in music; he could definitely hold his own in a debate on the evolutionary arms race and the biological fate of the planet. There was never a dull moment with him, and he seemed to feel the same way about spending time with me. He delighted in throwing me off-balance, always teasing and prodding my temper, and he took equal joy in soothing my ruffled feathers afterward. He took special pleasure in making fun of me for my habit of people watching, insisting that humans were boring, predictable creatures―save me, of course. We both enjoyed the easy push and pull of our connection, and knew that our affection for one another rested at the heart of the antagonism.

When he picked me up from work early one afternoon, I grinned inside as soon as I saw my chrome-accented nemesis parked in the far corner of the employee lot. "Why do you keep bringing that damn bike? Can't you ride it while I'm at work or something?"

He smirked, snaking an arm around my waist. "It's not nearly as fun without you clamped to my back."

"Don't mistake my fear of certain death for desire, jerk."

"Bella, we both know you don't possess anything remotely like a fear of certain death. Besides, you know I'd catch you, in the unlikely event that we had an accident." No matter how many times Edward explained to me that his reaction time and reflexes were far superior to any human's, thus exponentially decreasing the chances of a wreck, I still considered the bike a death trap. To be fair, I really didn't have anything against the bike itself, just the way Edward drove it. That is, until we were on the machine, the wind whipping across the back of my neck just under the helmet as we flew down the road. In those moments, when I clung to him, leaning into vicious twists and turns, I felt more alive than ever. However, if I had my way, he'd never figure that out.

"I think I'll take the ferry home," I started, sliding out from under his arm and trying to walk past the motorcycle. He caught my wrist, gently tugging me back against him.

"Tired of me already?" He sighed dramatically near my ear. "Mortal interests...so fickle." A light brush of his lips across the thin skin behind my earlobe was all it took to have me melting back into his frame.

"I have to pick my priorities," I began, stumbling all over the final word as Edward's hands settled on either side of my hips. "Some of us don't have forever to repeat experiments with foregone conclusions over and over..." I lost my train of thought when his thumbs slipped under the hem of my shirt and stroked along the waistband of my jeans.

"So tell me, Bella...if I change one of the variables, would you be amenable to a repeat of this _experiment?_"

"Is it the dependent or independent variable?" If I hadn't been rendered completely boneless by his touch, I would have given myself a little pat on the back.

Edward laughed aloud and dropped a quick kiss on my cheek. "I have no fucking clue. Not even the vampire mind can keep from mixing up those two."

I considered this irrefutable proof that both should be stricken from the classroom. Students everywhere would be forever grateful.

He released me and went to remove the helmet from its compartment. "I got you something," he said excitedly, reaching inside and removing a smaller, shinier version of his own helmet―but this one was coated in some kind of iridescent sheen that might blind a person if the sun struck it at the right angle. It was living, pulsing black; all colors merging and dancing together, colliding and combining to form the thick, dark coating.

"I would say you got yourself a new helmet, but that looks far too small for your giant head."

"This one's for you, Bella."

"But it matches _you_, Sparkles," I laughed.

Shaking his head, he tossed the hunk of plastic and fiberglass in my direction, and by some miracle of physics, I managed to snag it out of midair. I turned it over in my hands, watching the prisms glow and fade in the milky, muted light that managed to seep through the cloud cover.

"It doesn't contain the key to the meaning of life, you know. It's just a helmet," he said, the amusement plain in his tone. "It also works better if you put it on your head."

"Thank you, Mr. Obvious," I muttered, shoving it over my head and buckling it up tight. He swung his leg over the seat and settled in, patting the leather behind him. I hopped on, immediately molding myself against his back, sliding my hands around his waist.

"Ready?" Instead of muffled by the helmets, his voice was warm and rich right in my ear. Built-in microphones?

"I guess," I sighed, trying to sound bleak. He didn't need to know that my every cell was buzzing with awareness, ready and waiting for the ride. "Onward, Jeeves!" I squeezed his sides, burying my face into his back, and we were off.

By the time he parked and cut the engine some thirty minutes later, I had a dopey smile on my face and no idea where we were. I'd spent the entire ride soaking in the sensations bombarding me...the vibration of the bike, the chill of the wind, the way Edward's back pressed tightly to my chest, his strong thighs between mine...

Yeah, mostly Edward.

I unlocked my muscles and rose from the bike, pulling the helmet from my head as I steadied myself. Blinking in the washed out daylight, I took in my surroundings.

"Why are we at the Market?"

He removed his own helmet, his lips already curved at the corner. "I thought we could do some of your 'people watching'." His eyes glowed gold as he spoke. "You can tell me what you _think_ they're thinking, and we'll see if you're right." He tapped his temple with one long finger as he stowed the helmets.

Grinning, I said, "You are going to be the best people watching partner ever." I grabbed his hand, threading my fingers through his cool ones, and tugged him forward, searching for the perfect spot.

It was too late for the fish tossing and all the tourists it attracted, but there were still plenty of finds to be made on a Saturday afternoon at the Market. Finally, we came to a stop at the north end of Pike Place and planted ourselves on an empty bench. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, enjoying the feeling of home this place inspired. Even though I hadn't grown up in this city, it was more my home than any other place I'd ever lived. The salt air rolled in from the Sound and combined with the scents of fresh fish, flowers, and food to form a scent that was unique to Seattle alone.

"What now?" Edward asked with a raised eyebrow when I remained silent.

"Now, we wait."

"Exciting," he drawled, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his ankles.

"Just wait, you'll see," I assured, searching for our first victim. It didn't take long for me to find one. "Look! Blond dreadlocks, eight-o'clock. It's Ras Trent!"

"Ras Trent?" Edward glanced at me dubiously, and then followed the line of my pointing finger. This one was a prize, indeed: he sported dirty, white-boy dreadlocks, ratty cargo shorts, and a tye-dyed shirt in too many shades of green. He sat on a bench near one of the many art galleries that populated the area, a single bongo drum fixed between his legs.

"I take it you don't watch Saturday Night Live's Digital Shorts?"

"No."

"You're no fun."

He snaked an arm around my waist, slipping his fingers underneath the hem of my shirt. "Are you sure?" Dipping his head close to my neck, he blew a gentle breath over my skin, causing goosebumps to erupt all over me.

"You're supposed to be people watching, not feeling me up."

"I already know what they're thinking, Beautiful. You're supposed to guess." He pressed a kiss to the place where my neck and shoulder met, letting his lips linger lightly over the sensitive curve.

"It's really fucking hard to think when you're doing that," I said shakily, fighting to keep my eyes open. It wouldn't do to jump all over him in public.

"Such language," he chided, his tone laced with amusement.

"You bring out the best in me."

Laughing, he finally detached his lips from my skin and looked toward our victim. "Tell me. What's he thinking?"

"Hmm," I stalled, leaning into his side. "He wants to play naked bongo drums with Matthew McConaughey."

"Not quite," Edward chuckled. "Try again."

"Okay, I'll go for the obvious. He's wishing he was high."

With a smirk, he touched his finger to his nose. "I told you, the simplest explanations are often the most appropriate."

"Charades, Edward? Careful, your ancientness is showing," I teased, poking him in the side.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon picking victims, and I was surprised to find I was right about people more often than not. Of course, when the object of our attention was female, it was pretty easy to guess what they were thinking. The fact that it usually had something to do with themselves, naked―and an equally naked Edward―gave me an advantage.

As day turned to dusk and the weak sunlight tried to burn through the cloud cover, streaking the sky with warm pink, orange, and gold, we walked hand in hand back toward the parking garage. Suddenly, Edward froze, jerking me to a stop along with him. His nostrils flared the tiniest bit as he searched the thinning crowd, his expression dark and unnerving.

"What is it?" I asked, my gaze darting around to find whatever had gotten him so worked up in a fraction of a second.

"My sister," he forced out, the words rumbling strangely in his chest.

"Alice is here? Where?" I was smiling, looking forward to seeing her again. The last time I'd seen her had been on the ferry, and I was dying to get more of the backstory about his family, since he wasn't interested in sharing those details with me.

"It doesn't matter, since we won't be speaking to her." His jaw clenched so hard I thought it might crack. He started to tow me forward, but I dug in my heels and stood firm―I tried, anyway. I was no match for his strength, and he easily pulled me along by the hand, my feet skidding across the asphalt.

"Edward, stop!" His fingers clutched painfully at my hand for a moment before he let go and pivoted to face me. I rubbed at my hand, which ached from his iron grip. "I'm not your dog, you know. You can't just drag me around everywhere," I snapped.

"She's right, you know," came a high-pitched voice right behind me. If I hadn't heard her before, I would have known it was Alice just by the dark scowl that took over Edward's face. "Hello, Bella. It's so nice to see you again."

Turning so I could see both of them at once, I smiled and offered my hand. "Hey, Alice. How are―" My greeting was cut off in a little grunt as she wrapped her arms around me in the hardest hug I'd ever felt.

"We're practically family. None of that shaking hands crap," she scoffed as she pulled away, resting her hands on my shoulders and holding me at arm's length.

"Do I pass inspection?"

A sly smile crept across her face. "You'll do."

In a not so subtle move, Edward inched closer and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me away from Alice. "Why are you here?" he demanded curtly, irritation creasing his features.

"Can't a girl miss her brother?" She blinked innocently and clasped her hands together, her eyes darting between the two of us.

"You gave up that right a long time ago." He was so tense, his arm like stone where it rested against my back.

Alice flinched, her face falling in the wake of Edward's harsh words. "You know we only wanted to protect you―"

"Stop it. This is not the place. And if you don't tell Jasper to quit fucking with me, we're going to have a problem. I know he's here; he's not even bothering to hide himself."

Who the hell was Jasper?

"I won't," she challenged, her eyes taking on a determined sheen. "Obviously, you need to get a better handle on your emotions. Especially around Bella." They simply stared at one another in some kind of wordless conversation, the tension between them rising by the second.

I was mesmerized by the exchange, torn between wanting to cringe at the animosity that radiated from Edward's very frame, and wanting to comfort his sister because of her obvious unease. But I knew him―I could see past the anger to the hurt he kept locked away. It was in his eyes, in the way he held me to him; an action that sought reassurance even while demonstrating his protective nature. His hand trembled slightly where he gripped my side, and I knew where my loyalties would lie.

Another man approached the three of us, and he shared the same pale skin and strange eyes as Alice and Edward. He was shorter than Edward by at least six inches, but there was no doubt he could be just as lethal. His blond hair hung in a shaggy cut that curled at the ends, lending him a careless, fresh-from-the-beach look. The air of a predator clung to him like a cloak, and those sharp golden eyes missed nothing as he took Alice's hand.

In a desperate bid to lighten the moment, I asked, "So is this the guy who's not supposed to know about your ferry ogling?"

_Ferry ogling? Nice one, Bella. Moron._

One side of the newcomer's mouth kicked up in a smile as he regarded Alice with a soft glance. "Should I be worried, Ali?"

His words carried the unmistakable flavor of the south; their slow, rhythmic cadence reminded me of sweet tea with fresh mint and summer evenings on the porch swing. Of course, all I knew of Southern culture came from movies like _Steel Magnolias _and _Fried Green Tomatoes,_ but if anyone practically radiated Southern charm, it was him.

His presence also smacked of a quiet, confident danger that I'd be an idiot to ignore.

Alice grinned. "Of course not, my love. I just like to watch." Casting a side-eyed glance at Edward, she muttered, "Not as much as _some_ people, but still..."

Edward's lip curled into a snarl, and if looks could kill, Alice would have two laser-beam sized holes in her forehead.

Ignoring her brother, Alice said, "Bella, this is my...husband, Jasper."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Jasper greeted with a courteous nod, regarding me with a stiff expression. He didn't offer his hand, and I felt relief at not having to touch him.

"Nice to meet you, too, Jasper." I raised my hand in a little wave, hoping he didn't notice the trembling of my fingers. I shuffled closer to Edward, seeking reassurance for some reason I didn't quite understand.

"Can we get on with this? I know you're not here just to talk. You've always got a _reason_," Edward snapped. The way his lips twisted around the last word drew my attention, and I knew there was something there. Growing more curious by the second, I kept my mouth shut and tried to observe what I could.

"We've been trying to call you, Edward." Alice tapped her foot on the asphalt like an impatient, old-time school teacher. Fleetingly, I wondered if she'd try to drag Edward off by the ear or rap his knuckles if he disobeyed her.

"I know. I didn't answer. That should have been your first clue."

"Edward!" I whispered, elbowing his side and grimacing when it hurt my arm. I really needed to stop doing stuff like that; my penchant for physical violence was doing me no good with him. "She's your sister...be nice!"

He cast me a sidelong glance that made me regret speaking. His eyes were dark and angry, sparking with such hurt and rage that I felt the blood drain from my face. It was at times like this that I couldn't believe people mistook him for human. I instantly decided not to speak for the rest of the conversation. There were undercurrents here I couldn't possibly understand, and though I knew he wouldn't hurt me, my instincts were screaming for me to remove myself from the situation.

"We miss you, Edward. Please, you have to understand―"

"What's there to understand? You tried to take away everything, all for a stupid vision!" Edward interrupted, and I could feel the slight tremble that shook his frame.

"A stupid vision, yes! But one that came true, didn't it?" Alice demanded, stepping closer to us. She changed tactics, her face softening, and I could see real pain in her features. "Edward, you can come home now―"

"Why?" Edward barked, staring her down. "So you can keep tabs on me again? Police my every action? Tell me exactly what will happen, the moment I make a decision?" He squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath. I knew such human ticks were unusual for him, and those clued me in to the true depth of his distress.

"But Edward, we love you. We miss you," she said, looking close to tears.

"Edward, I know you miss us, too," Jasper added, but his contribution only seemed to enrage Edward.

"Just because I miss you doesn't mean I can trust you." Edward said derisively before lowering his head to speak to me in a softer tone. "May I take you home now?"

I looked into his eyes, recognizing his need to flee. I was torn between doing whatever I could to take his pain away and the urge to help him restore his relationship with his siblings. Not a little part of me thought that one might just fix the other.

A soft sigh came from Alice, and then she murmured, "Go ahead, Bella. He needs you now, more than he needs us. Goodbye, Edward. Please, call us. Carlisle and Esme would love to hear from you." She looked to Jasper, who turned without a word, and they walked away, hand in hand.

_Well, what the fuck did that mean? And who were Carlisle and Esme? More siblings?_

He was silent as we walked back to the bike, but as we suited up for the ride back, I stopped him with a hand on his forearm.

"You _are_ going to tell me what that was all about." It wasn't a question, it wasn't a request, and I think he knew it.

His lips twitched in the slightest smile, regarding me with not a little resignation. "I will. I just...I don't..."

"Edward, it's okay. Don't you think I would have run by now, if I was going to?"

He sighed in amusement. "I never know what you're going to do."

"Well, I'm telling you now, I'm not going anywhere." Because I was a moron. The kind of girl who was the first to die in horror movies, apparently. I put my hand to his cheek, loving the way his eyes closed in pleasure at my touch. My fingers tingled with the familiar sensation I felt whenever we touched, and I smiled. "Let me help you, Edward."

"You already do help me, Bella. Just by breathing," he whispered, lowering his head to mine. I let my eyelids drift closed, savoring the gentle pressure of his lips, tasting the sweetness of his sigh. My fingers trembled against his cheek, and I let them wander to the hair behind his ear, curling my hand into a fist amongst the soft strands.

After a few moments, he pulled away, leaving me weak at the knees, as usual. "We'd better get going."

"Don't you dare think I've forgotten. I'm not letting you win this time," I warned, trying to blink past the fog.

"Silly Bella...I've already won. I have you," he returned, stroking a fingertip over the arch of my cheek.

I snorted. "How sweet and contrived, Edward."

"I had to try," he sighed, his eyes finally brightening. "Come on, I'd like to show you something."

* * *

_Oh, I don't own Ras Trent or any Digital Shorts, either. No matter how much I'd like to.__  
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__So, what do you think of Jasper and Alice's ambush? Wondering where the hell I'm going with this? Wonder what he's going to show her...__  
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__Thank you all for reading, and thanks for leaving such nice comments! Every alert, favorite, or review makes my day. You're all awesome. I know this one isn't as silly as Work in Progress, and I hope to god I'm not boring the heck out of you. Thanks again!_

**Fic Rec: Hide in Plain Sight by FangMom**- Edward is an actor, hounded by paparazzi and fans. His financial advisor Jacob invites Edward to stay with him and his family in Houston. Can Edward hide in plain sight and will his relationship with Jacob's wife Bella tear a close-knit family apart?

_I've been devouring this for the past couple days. I can't say enough good things. It's so well-written and Edward is far from perfect, yet still completely delicious - just the way I like him. Give it a shot. You'll be glad you did. _  
_  
__Okay, that's all...see you next week!_


	9. Reaction Intermediate

_I don't own _Twilight_ - but I'd love to own that kickass boat they're using in BD filming..._

_Thanks to AmeryMarie (aka the Motherfucking Batman), famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal for prereading. _

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**-Chapter 9:**** Reaction Intermediate**-

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.

Instead of taking me home, Edward headed south on I-5. At first, I thought he was just taking the long way to my place (which was no problem with me―the more time I spent clinging to Edward, the better), but when he went south on SR-16, I knew that wasn't the case. After a good forty-five minutes on the bike, my fingers and toes were numb from the chilly breeze rolling in off the Sound.

"Where are we going?" I asked, grateful for the helmet mics, though we hadn't made much use of them so far.

"It's just a little bit farther. We're headed to Fox Island."

"But I don't live on Fox Island."

His chuckle was just as warm even through the slight static of the mic frequency. "I know, Bella. I do."

"You're taking me to your place?" I was surprised. To be honest, I had wondered if he even had a home. I knew he didn't live in a coffin or anything, but we always spent so much time at my place. I'd even wondered if he just lived in the woods, like some kind of mountain man.

Anything was better than thinking he didn't want me to see his secret lair. Even Superman eventually took Lois Lane to the Fortress of Solitude, right?

"What better location to tell you the story of my sordid past?" he muttered, and I could hear his displeasure even through the weak replication of his voice.

I simply sighed, rubbing his stomach through the thin fabric of his shirt. One of his cool hands covered mine for a moment, leaving my skin tingling with the absence of his touch. No matter how sordid he thought his past was, I still wanted to hear about it. I wanted to know everything about him.

The bike slowed as he turned onto a drive hidden by an overgrown thicket of Sitka spruce and brushy undergrowth. Slowly, we made our way to a large, rambling cabin with a huge garage, one of the doors already open for our arrival. As we got off the motorcycle, I noticed the black sports car I was familiar with, along with two other cars that were covered in pristine blue custom-sized tarps. How many vehicles did one man―er, _vampire_―need?

We stowed our helmets and he led me into the house, holding my hand. It was twilight; the fading light filtered weakly through the floor to ceiling windows, and he didn't bother with any of the light switches. No curtains marred the pristine view of the woods and the Sound beyond. Dark, antique pine floors spread throughout the main floor in perfect contrast to the overstuffed sofas that faced the fireplace in the huge great room. Covered in rich, cream-colored microfiber, they looked comfortable as clouds. Aside from the garage, it seemed that this room and the kitchen made up the entire main floor. Nature prints lined the walls, depicting eerie scenes of forestry―tall trees shrouded in fog and dew―bringing the outdoors in, making it seem as if we were still in the forest.

"Would you like a tour?" he asked, his eyes darting everywhere but my direction. I wondered if he was nervous, and I wasn't ashamed to admit that I took a little bit of pleasure in his apprehensiveness—it was about time he got a taste of insecurity. I'd had enough for the both of us in this relationship.

"Of course..._after_ you explain what the hell that was at the Market."

"I thought you might say that," he said with a sigh, flipping the switch for the gas fireplace and drawing me to sit on the sofa nearest the river-rock hearth. I barely managed not to trip in the darkness, but I said nothing about the lack of lack of visibility once we were situated. He was so striking in the dim, watered-down light, his features lined in midnight shadows and warm firelight, eyes glinting with pitch-black opalescence.

He sat with his back to the windows, facing me slightly and resting his elbows on his knees. One leg bounced rapidly and he laced his fingers together; I'd never seen him so fidgety aside from tonight.

"It's okay, Edward," I whispered, nearly desperate to reassure him. "I'm here. I trust you..."

"You shouldn't," he snapped, his brows drawing together. "I still have no idea what I'm doing here with you."

"That's great." Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let him bear witness to my weakness. "Nice to know you like me so much."

"Bella, that's not it at all...never doubt how much I want you, or how much I want to be with you." He paused for so long that I assumed he was done talking, and just as I was about to scream in frustration, he whispered, "You don't know how long I've waited for you."

I had no idea how he did it. He could get me so worked up, say the most off-putting things one second, and slay my weak female sensibilities in the next. My irritation was pointless, anyway. I couldn't stay away from him; I was caught in his weirdly compelling orbit. I was the moth to his flame, despite the fact that it never ended well for the moth in the equation―ever.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "Then tell me what's going on. Tell me what happened. Edward, I want to know...I need to know. Open up to me."

I placed a hand over his, tracing my fingers over the smooth, cool surface. The back of his hand was ribbed in veins and tendons, just like mine. Outwardly, we were so similar, but it was all just an illusion; his appearance was a beautiful lure for unsuspecting prey. Inwardly, the similarity was fact. He was good, I knew it. I saw myself in him: the inquisitive nature, the desire to be wanted for himself. The need to be recognized by someone as their own.

"I told you how I was changed while dying of influenza in 1918," he began, looking down at his feet. "My maker, Carlisle, was a doctor in the Chicago hospital where I was sent to die. I never asked for this life, but I made the best of it.

"As time went on, he made several others, 'rescuing' them from certain death. Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and I stuck together out of loneliness at first, but eventually, we became a family.

"We were all committed to living a lifestyle that allowed us to blend in with humans, to coexist as inconspicuously as possible. All of us missed being human―we'd been dragged into this world in an instant, and given no time to say goodbye to all that went with our human lives.

"Alice and Jasper were made by others, but her gift led them to us in 1952. Esme and Carlisle are mated, as are Emmett and Rosalie, which left me as the only solitary vampire in our coven."

_Wow. I bet _that_ could get really uncomfortable at times...I wonder if that's why he left. I remember how traumatizing it was that one time I walked in on Renee and Phil back in Jacksonville..._

"What's that look for?" Edward asked with a ghost of a puzzled smile.

_Great. How do I tell him I was thinking grossed-out thoughts of my parents and his siblings doing naughty things to each other all within super-secret vampire hearing range?_

"Believe me, you don't even want to know," I rushed out, closing my eyes in embarrassment as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

"I very much doubt that." His voice was soft and filled with an earnestness that was palpable.

"I bet that got...awkward. With your Jedi mind trick and super hearing...stuff."

He laughed, just a soft, bewildered huff of breath, but the smile that accompanied it lightened my heart. I loved it that I could put that look on his face. _If I had my way, he'd be smiling all the time..._

"It did, but the prospect of an eternity completely alone was worse, at the time," he answered, smile fading. "It was nice to have others to interact with."

He went on to explain how Carlisle had taught them to feed on the blood of animals so they didn't have to take human lives. I was transfixed as he told tales of group hunts into the wilderness and different adventures and expeditions they had undertaken. The things he must have seen! Over the years, they'd hunted Polar bears in the arctic, chased impala and wildebeest across the African savanna...they'd even pursued a pod of orcas!

As much as I was dying to question him about more of his adventures in the animal kingdom, I knew he'd jump at any opening I gave, change the subject, and I'd lose this chance to find out what had happened to tear apart their family. There would be plenty of time for me to pick his brain later.

"I told you before, Alice can see the future. Since I was the only one in the family that was unattached_, _she had a particular fondness for spying on _my_ future. I couldn't do anything without her knowing exactly what would happen beforehand, and she made sure I knew it. You see, her visions are subjective. They depend on decisions made just before the actual event. Her visions can always change, but only if one makes a decision that leads to a different outcome.

"Imagine trying to live your life in a house full of immortals who can hear your every word, every movement. Imagine countless hours of blocking out their thoughts and feelings, all because of a so-called 'gift.' Imagine being told the results of every decision you made before you even knew you'd made one. That was my life with my family."

Remaining silent, I gripped his hand hard, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. The last thing I wanted was to make him clam up again. My heart ached in response to the weariness in his tone, the resignation that was so plain in every line of his face.

"For the most part, no one interfered in my life past cautioning me about potential bad decisions. I thought they let me be out of respect for my privacy...but if that was true, it only applied until I made a decision they couldn't live with."

"What happened?" I whispered, willing him to meet my gaze. I didn't like it when he just stared at the floor like he was currently doing. I wanted him to know he was talking to me―that there was someone who would listen to him, and _only_ him. Finally, he looked straight at me, his eyes nearly glowing in the firelight, amber gold that burned straight to my soul.

"I decided to take a break from the family. Live on my own. And they didn't want to let me. Alice saw something...and they didn't like the results of my decision."

He went silent again, raking his free hand through his mess of wild hair. "I knew what I was doing when I decided to leave. I would continue to live as I had been, just on my own. Without the prying eyes and all-knowing ears of the family.

"Alice saw it all, of course. She wasn't convinced everything would end up as I thought." He took his hand from mine, and I couldn't miss the way his fingers shook before they curled into a fist in his lap. He stared at the flames burning in the hearth, and I took a moment to admire the way the firelight flickered over his striking features. Tentatively, I reached up and stroked a few tendrils of hair away from his forehead, but I couldn't tell if my touch was welcome to him or not. His face creased in agony, as if he was reliving the most painful memory.

"Edward, what happened to you?" I whispered, swallowing back the knot in my throat.

His lips twitched into a cruel smile, and he laughed bitterly. "They tried to cage me, just like one of your cats. For my own good, of course."

My heart sunk, pounding hollowly in my chest. How could they do that to him? They were his family...they were supposed to protect and love each other. Then again, maybe vampires weren't so different from their solid-food-eating cousins after all. There were some humans that did such things to each other all the time.

"Why, Edward? Why would they do that to you? Surely it would have been better just to let you go..."

"Alice insisted. Once she made the decision to persuade Carlisle to cage me, she claimed she had a vision where everything was 'as it should be'," he explained, a derisive twist to his features. "They all went along with it. Everyone in my so-called family wanted to imprison me."

"But you got away." Tears welled in my eyes, sending fat droplets rolling down my cheeks, but I didn't even bother to dash them away.

"I did...but I knew I could never trust them again. What was worse, however, is that it taught me how very little I could trust myself."

He sat stone still, turning his gaze to the flames, becoming the living statue. I couldn't stand it; climbing right into his lap, I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around him. After a moment, he linked his hands at the small of my back and laid his cheek on the crown of my head. I closed my eyes, hugging him tighter, willing him to feel how much I hurt for him, wanting him to know that I cared for him―_only_ him. There was no more sympathy for his siblings. If they'd done that to him, then they deserved much worse than Edward's hatred.

He huffed out a shaky breath, relaxing into my body as a slight tremor wracked his frame.

"I never wanted to be a vampire, and spending so many years denying my very nature was so tiring, but it wasn't until they all betrayed me that I made a conscious decision to become the monster."

"Oh, no," I breathed. He stiffened in my arms, his withdrawal spearing a very real ache right through my chest.

"This is why I didn't want you to know," he whispered. "I'll give you the keys to one of the cars and you can drive yourself home. Just put them in your mailbox when you get there, and you'll never have to see me again."

That wasn't what I wanted at all. It was at times like this that I cursed his inability to read my thoughts. If he could see into my mind, he would know that what I was feeling wasn't fear or revulsion. I hurt for him, wished I could make his pain go away.

I knew he'd killed people, yet it wasn't so hard to compartmentalize it into an act of an as yet undiscovered apex predator. How strange was I, that I didn't really care for those he'd killed? I cared for _him. _My heart broke...as his family's betrayal must have broken his.

"Edward...I..."

"It's okay, Bella. I know I don't deserve you." He paused, his fingertips twitching against my back as he prepared himself to let me go. "In the decades before I found you, I merely existed. I can do it again." His words carried the serrated edge of agony; I didn't need to see his face to know it.

Placing my palms on his cheeks, I held him so he couldn't look anywhere other than my eyes. Gently, I stroked my thumbs over the elegant arches of his cheekbones, taking solace in the smoothness of his skin and the strength of his bones.

"You're wrong, Edward." My lips parted on a shuddering breath, but I made myself continue, no matter how much I wanted to bury my face in the smooth flesh of his neck and cry. "They betrayed your trust. Whatever you did in the past, it doesn't matter. I don't care; I only care about _you._ I'm yours, if you want me."

"I very much want you, Bella. Probably more than is healthy for either one of us."

"I've been away from the coven for more than a decade. I fed the more..._traditional_ way for the better part of those years. When I found you on that ferry, I'd been feeding on animals again for a few short months...I didn't know if I could stop myself. I remember thinking it was a shame that you were so beautiful, because you were likely going to die. The appeal of your blood..."

Pausing, he inhaled a long, deep breath which was all the more moving because I knew it was only because he couldn't help himself. "Nothing―_no one_―has ever smelled so very...tempting as you."

"I wanted your blood more than any other human's―ever―but I couldn't very well drain you dry in the midst of all those people. It was no accident that we ran into each other that day. I was heading for you before I could stop myself, and I wasn't sure if I was going to kill you or kiss you.

"Then, when your mind was silent to me, I decided I'd never encountered anyone more fascinating. I can't find the strength to stay away; the hours I spend with you are the very best out of my day. You make me smile long after we've parted. You make me happy, Bella, and I want to spend all my time making _you_ happy," he finished, dipping his forehead to mine.

He completely invaded all of my senses―my vision was limited to the sight of him, and the sweet, unique scent of him was so concentrated I could almost taste it. Briefly, it occurred to me that I was letting him cloud my judgment with his vampire sparkle-magic, but I was tired of thinking.

Dismissing all rational thought in favor of hormone-fueled instinct, I pressed my lips to his, molding my softness to his hard frame, licking at the smooth surface of his lips. He had me flat on my back in an instant, his weight pushing me into the plush sofa as his hips settled between my thighs. Cool lips molded to mine, his sweet taste heating my blood.

"Please, don't leave me," he whispered, his lips never leaving mine. "I never thought I could want anything―_anyone_―this badly." He reached up, tracing his fingertips across my cheekbones, over the arches of my ears, trailing hot sparks in their wake. One hand rested gently on my sternum as he licked at my lower lip, lingering over the seam of my mouth.

"I won't, I promise. I won't..."

His cool, fragrant breath washed over my lips, tasting of honey and man and perfection. I welcomed him in eagerly, unable to keep from moaning at the velvety slide of his tongue against mine. He slid an arm beneath my back, one large hand cupping the back of my head as worked at the buttons of my camp shirt with the other. I made fists in his t-shirt, trying to pull him closer; when that didn't work, I slid my fingers into his hair, tugging at the already wild strands. His groan passed over my lips, making them tingle, and he ground his hips into mine. Pushing the halves of the shirt off of my shoulders, he growled darkly at the undershirt that remained in his way.

Taking my hands from his hair, I sat up, forcing him to his knees on the couch. Shrugging the unbuttoned uniform off, I tossed it to the floor, then yanked the thin white sleeveless shirt over my head, leaving myself only in a plain cotton bra above the waist. He simply stared at my bare skin, frozen again, and I saw my only chance to take him by surprise. Quickly, I shoved my hands underneath the distressed gray fabric of his t-shirt, pressing my palms flat to his cool, hard flesh.

"Raise your arms for me," I whispered, leaning up to put my lips just above his collar. He complied easily, and I let out a little sigh of relief as I tugged the cotton over his head. I let my hands wander back down his arms, tracing the sensitive undersides, and lower, over his chest and ribs. Muscles tensed under my touch as he lowered his arms, hands finally hovering uncertainly near my hips. His eyes blazed, framed by those long, dark lashes, shining with molten topaz and living black pupils. "Sit back."

He swallowed heavily and did as I asked, his long frame relaxing into the cushion in a sinuous movement that had my breath hitching. I swung a leg over his hip, pressing myself against the bulge in his jeans, and when he groaned in response, I felt warm all over. Long fingers traced over my collarbone, slipping underneath the strap of my bra and carrying it off the slope of my shoulder. His eyelids lowered, fringing the fiery irises in velvety midnight. He pressed his mouth to mine in a kiss that started tentative yet tender, and progressed to wild, wet, and wanting.

My heart beat faster than had to be healthy, tightening into a pounding, heavy knot in my chest, until I could feel each pulse in the farthest reaches of my body. I heard it in my ears, the staccato rhythm a perfect accompaniment to the sighs and murmurs of pleasure.

He held me gently, yet there was no mistaking the urgency in his touch when he curled his fingers into the cup of my bra and pulled it down, exposing me to the chill of his chest. I arched in his arms, gripping his ribs tightly as he dragged his mouth down my chin. Reaching the base of my neck, he pulled back to observe me, his eyes darkened with lust. He moved, a slow, lazy roll of his pelvis, the firm pressure of his erection providing just enough stimulation to tease. The shape of his long, lean frame―every inch of him―was unyielding against my softer flesh, yet we fit together perfectly.

He tugged the other half of my bra down, those hot, piercing eyes focusing on my bared nipples. After a moment, he kissed his way down my chest, the tip of his nose trailing lightly over the upper curve of my breast. He rubbed his lips over the hard tips, blowing cool breath that heated my sensitive flesh, a heavy blush surging underneath my skin.

"Exquisite," he breathed, and I didn't even have the strength to tease him for his old-fashioned compliments. All I could do was moan at the tepid wash of his tongue as he licked at one nipple and rolled the other between a thumb and forefinger. My hands grew restless, greedily covering as much of his skin as I could reach. His stomach muscles clenched in response to my clumsy fingers roving over his abdomen, exploring the light dusting of hair that trailed below his navel. I encountered the waistband of his jeans and hesitated, fingering the riveted metal button. It was cold, like his skin, but there was no mistaking Edward's skin for a lifeless, inanimate alloy―nothing had ever felt so _alive_ to me as he did.

He looked up at me through lashes tipped in russet gold while I slipped the top button of his jeans from its mooring and made quick work of the rest. My peripheral vision faded to black and grey, leaving only Edward before me, in live and brilliant color. Slowly, I pushed one hand inside his open fly, unable to hide my smile when I felt nothing—no boxers, briefs or otherwise—beneath the denim. I closed my fingers around him, loving the feel of his smoothest, most delicate skin. He was firm, living marble wrapped in the strongest silk, sliding fluidly under my grip as he thrust his hips against my hand.

"Is that good?" My voice shook, and it was so quiet and timid that I wasn't sure if a human would have heard it.

"Unbelievable...so fucking warm..." he groaned, his eyes finally falling shut as he buried his face in my cleavage, pressing humid kisses wherever he could reach. Iron fingertips dug into my hips and pulled forward, urging me against him in a rhythm that fit perfectly with the motion of my hand.

I looked down, wanting to see the visual proof of what was happening between us, but it was tousled, bleeding bronze, glimpses of alabaster skin, and flashes of impossibly flushed lips that dominated my view. He was too pale to be human, too beautiful to be real...and there was no one else on earth I'd want in his place.

One of his hands played at the hem of my shorts, long, strong fingers drawing patterns in fire against my bare skin. Higher, higher, until he was pushing damp cotton aside to tease at the slickness between my thighs. Suddenly unable to hold my head up, I laid my cheek on the crown of his head, humming in pleasure at the sensations his fingers triggered down below, breathing in the hypnotic scent of his skin that would forever make me wet after this moment.

I tightened my grip on his cock, adding a little twist at the tip, spreading around the cool, slick fluid that gathered there. He groaned, his mouth open over my heart, and dragged his lips over my collarbone and up my neck, stopping at the pulse that never failed to race at his touch.

"Bella," he panted, "If you keep that up...I'm going to come all over your hand."

I held back my laugh, secretly enjoying the fact that I could reduce eloquent Edward to such plain, frank speech. "That's the point, Edward," I purred, letting my lips brush over the curves of his ear.

I could tell all his concentration was concentrated on my hand and his penis, because his fingers became clumsy as they explored me, until he was more or less grinding his hand against the aching wetness between my legs. He groaned lowly in between kisses, clearly enjoying my rusty but enthusiastic efforts to drive him wild.

"Oh, yeah..." he muttered, hips bucking up freely, which pressed his hand against my clit in the most delicious way. "Perfect...you're perfect." He latched onto my neck, and for a second I was afraid that he'd lost control and bitten me, but he'd covered his teeth with his lips. Cold suction overwhelmed me; he'd found the spot that tickled and aroused, the one that made me arch in shivering pleasure whenever he touched it. I could almost feel a coil of heat stretching from low in my belly to where his mouth worked at my throat, building and building and _holy shit, am I going to_..._oh, fuck..._

He suddenly wrenched his lips from my skin, turning his head to the side. His eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as he tensed against me and groaned, hips jerking and shaft throbbing, cool pearls of liquid spilling onto my fingers, slicking wetly over his skin.

I was still burning with unfulfilled need, but seeing his face as he let go was almost as satisfying as any climax. His free hand came up to still mine, his fingers closing gently over my wrist.

Lips curving shyly, he said breathlessly, "Feels too good. Even better than I imagined."

_Well, glad you approve,_ I thought smugly, putting on my best sexy smile and loving it when he swallowed hard upon opening his eyes. The knowledge that he'd fantasized about me wasn't exactly a surprise, but it was still nice to hear.

"Know what else I imagined?" he asked in a low tone, sitting up a bit against the sofa cushions and leaning closer.

Without thinking, I answered, "Drinking my blood?"

"Not that...well, not really." He was laughing, thank God. Then his fingers were moving again, easily sliding between my lips, massaging the most sensitive part of me, and I didn't care about the awkward jokes.

"You have a _great_ imagination," I murmured absently, abruptly shutting up when he pushed two fingers inside me and rubbed his thumb in little circles over the swollen flesh of my clit. He closed his mouth over mine, licking at my lips until I opened for him, meeting his tongue halfway. I was moaning for him in no time, moving my hips into his hand and working for what was sure to be an orgasm that might kill me.

Down lower, his hand encircled mine on his semi-hard shaft, and we stroked him together, slowly at first, spreading around the remains of his release. He was fully hard again in seconds, and I swirled my thumb around the head of his shaft in rhythm with his fingers inside me as climax tightened and burst low in my body.

I pushed my forehead to his shoulder, riding out the waves that sapped every ounce of strength I had.

"Even better." He pressed his lips to the hair above my ear. "That was beautiful."

He guided our hands faster, tighter, until our grip was firmer than I would have thought he liked. Slowly, he drew his fingers from between my legs; I watched as his hand emerged from the leg of my shorts and came up level with his mouth.

If I'd thought Edward's expression as he came was sexy, his face as he licked my slickness from his fingers was a close second. After the initial wave of shyness, seeing him breathe in the scent of me—moan at the taste of me—overcame any embarrassment. There was something primal about the action, and I wondered what it would be like if he tasted my blood.

Would it make me burn low in my gut and get me wet for him, just like this? Would I enjoy it?

I was saved from further thought as he came again, his face tensing into that sexy, lost look that literally made me ache.

"Christ," he groaned, catching his breath. I smiled smugly, confident that the only reason for his breathlessness was because I'd just rocked his fucking world.

"No, it's just Bella," I joked, hiding my face in his neck.

"My blasphemous Bella."

"You knew that going in."

"I wouldn't have you any other way," he said softly.

I smiled, letting him feel the shape of my lips against his skin.

I'd heard those words so many times, from relatives, friends, and coworkers. Before, it had always seemed like a teasing, backhanded way of complimenting me, but when I heard those words from Edward, I knew he meant them—exactly as they sounded. He didn't want to change a single thing about me, and I thought the same of him.

...I never said I didn't make mistakes.

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_Next chapter is almost finished, so look for it next Thursday._

_If you've got any burning questions, comments, I'd love to hear them! I do read every review and love getting them. And I'll try my best to answer any questions that won't give anything away._

_In other news, Work in Progress was nominated for Best Comedy in the Sparkleteer awards. Voting begins November 18th - check out all the great stories at thesparkleteerawards(DOT)blogspot(DOT). I'd love to win, negl, but I'm pretty resigned to always being the bridesmaid when it comes to these things. ;)_

_Thank you all for reading, and sparkles to those of you who review._

_What? Sparkles suck? How about a little teaser? Okay, twist my arm. See you next Thursday!_


	10. Fission and Fusion

_Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended._

_Thanks, as always, to my pre-readers, AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal._

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**-Chapter 10: Fission and Fusion-**

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The master suite was the first (and only) stop on the tour after we finally dragged ourselves from the couch. We spent an indecent amount of time in the shower, and I was insanely thankful for Edward's tankless water heater. It was perfect for warming vampire statue skin and soothing the fragile human's goose bumps it caused.

Afterward, it was quiet and dark, and we (meaning I) napped curled together on one of the black leather couches that furnished his "bedroom." I was still puzzling over the fact that vampires didn't sleep; it amazed me that the vampire brain never needed even a slight recharge. I envied his lack of need for sleep—I had always been one of those people who needed more sleepy-time than others—and I hated the hours I had to spend unconscious when I could have been talking with Edward.

He, however, very much enjoyed it when I succumbed to slumber. I suspected he was weary of my constant questions regarding his nature and very much enjoyed my naps. Actually, I _knew_ he enjoyed it when I napped, because the creeper loved to watch me sleep—he claimed I didn't stop talking even when unconscious, but when I was sleeping, he didn't have to answer all my scientist questions.

As dawn broke over the mountains, I stretched, working out the kinks of a night spent between comfortable leather couch cushions and uncomfortable vampire limbs. He knew I was awake; he always did. I could feel it in the subtle shift of his muscles where they pressed against me, in the calm rhythm of his unnecessary breath.

Last night's conversation was still running through my head, and I felt awful. He had told me about his past, and I'd practically jumped his bones in response. Affection and intimacy had seemed like the perfect balm for his wounds last night, but in the light of day, I wondered if my approach had been a little lacking.

"Edward?" I asked, my voice small and out of place in the silence that enveloped us.

"Hmm?" he murmured, resting his lips on my hair as I shifted, settling into his side.

"I'm sorry they did that to you."

"Why are _you_ sorry? You had nothing to do with it." He sounded genuinely puzzled, and his expression confirmed it when he pulled back to look at me.

"They took away your choices, and claimed they did it out of love. It hurts...knowing what you've been through at the hands of people you trusted. Love doesn't do that. Love doesn't need to change you." I bit my lip, afraid I'd said too much. Everything between us had happened so fast...and I had no way of knowing if his feelings ran as deep as mine.

Edward smiled softly, his eyes glinting with affection. "I'm beginning to realize that," he told me, tracing the pad of his thumb over my lip, gently pulling it from between my teeth.

"I don't know what I would do if that happened to me..."

He stopped me with a soft kiss. "Shh," he soothed, running a hand through my hair, letting it sift through his fingers. "You'll never have to find out, Bella. I promise you. Anyone trying to hurt you will have to go through me."

"You won't always be there, Edward. You're immortal, and I'm not. You won't want to be hanging around when I look old enough to be your grandmother." It wasn't like he'd be chomping at the bit to be with me when I was blue-haired and working on a hoarder's collection of house-cats. I fully expected my life to be that sad. How could I go on to have a normal life, when I'd been given something so extraordinary already? Still, I'd gladly take the lonely life of a spinster later, if I could have Edward today.

That didn't mean it didn't hurt like crazy to think he'd be gone someday.

His tone darkened, his brows winging down in a puzzled frown. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I...I just wouldn't expect you to hang around and change my adult diapers, that's all," I said, blinking in the face of his sudden anger.

"Bella, why would you make light of my feelings for you? Do you think I'm that shallow?"

"I don't want you to remember me that way!" I snapped, and I was surprised when he flinched in response. He looked so hurt; those eyes were dark with some kind of unnamed emotion, his face lined in regret.

Softening my voice, I trailed my fingers along the groove of his spine in short, soothing motions.

"Please, I don't want to fight. I'm sorry I brought it up."

"I'm well aware that I'll be alone again someday. You don't need to remind me," he muttered, pulling away to sit up, running a hand through his hair.

My body automatically followed his as I reached out to grip his forearm. "I'm sorry."

He visibly stiffened, taking in a deep breath. "You must be hungry. I bought a few things at the store so you'd be comfortable," he said quickly. "I can make you some breakfast."

I eagerly latched on to his swift change of subject for once. "You don't have to do that. I'd be happy with fast food."

"Why do I get the feeling that you eat far too much of that crap already?"

I smirked, happy that know-it-all Edward was back. "So? It's fast, and for _some_ reason, I'm short on time."

"It's full of preservatives and chemicals!"

"How would you know, Mr. Liquid Diet?" I poked at his ribs—gently, of course. It wouldn't do to have a broken finger when I had clean-up duty in the enclosures later today.

"I do my research," he defended, shrugging lazily.

"Oh, really?"

"Have to keep my pet human properly fed," he quipped, turning darkened amber eyes my way. The smirk that accompanied his smoldering glance made me want to punch him, but that would be very detrimental to the health of my skeleton.

"'Pet human'?" I repeated, giving him a disbelieving look. "Nice."

"What, I'm not allowed to make a joke?"

"That's my job. You're supposed to be morose and sullen. Completely Emo. You know—broody and devastatingly good-looking. Gotta uphold those vampire stereotypes, in case the whole sparkling thing gets out." I rose from the couch and padded to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway to add, "For your information, society frowns upon those who do sexual things with their pets." With a laugh, I left him frozen on the couch, gawking in my direction.

-x-

It was nearly impossible to keep my mind on work that morning. My thoughts were back on Fox Island, stuck in a steamy little bathroom. After I'd all but accused him of bestiality, Edward had followed me and proceeded to take back his 'pet human' comment—in a very delicious way. He'd monopolized so much of my time that we didn't have a chance to make it back to my place before he dropped me off at work. I was wearing my day old, probably smelly uniform from yesterday, but I didn't really even mind. Everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours was completely worth it.

I was severely distracted, and it was like the cats knew it, too. They kept testing me, pushing to see how far they could stretch their boundaries. I knew from the minute I walked past the first enclosure that today would be a tough one. My first thought was to go to Angela and voice my concerns, but she'd definitely take me off close-contact duty. I didn't want to pull another kitchen duty shift, so that option was out.

Ignoring the nerves building in my gut, I was determined to get things back to normal on the job front. I promised myself I'd be extra vigilant today, in addition to confident, calm, and assertive, just as I should be.

Most of the morning went quickly, as I was paired with another caretaker, Mike, who was easygoing and fun to work with.

"Damn, they're bitchy today." He paused, wiping sweat from his brow as I continued spreading clean straw along one side of the fence. Warily, I eyed the cougar that was currently exactly opposite us, watching us with sharp eyes, poised in a distrustful stance.

I shrugged. "I must have lost my touch today." It was bad enough that Angela knew about the cats' repeated bad attitudes around me; I didn't need the rest of my coworkers in my business as well. Mike was a nice guy, but he had a mouth on him.

"Elmyra's lost her touch? They won't let you try to pet them to death anymore?"

"You're the only man I know that would admit to watching _Tiny Toons,_ Mike." We backed out of the enclosure, and I only felt like I could relax when the gate was firmly locked behind us.

"They're baby Looney Toons! How can that be wrong? Looney Toons are classics. Those were _real _cartoons. Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, the Roadrunner, Wile E. Coyote..."

"I know who they are, Mike. And you forgot Tweety Bird and Sylvester." I added as we made our way to the supply shed to restock.

"'I tawt I saw a puddy-tat,'" he mimicked, making me burst out laughing.

The light, easy conversation was exactly what I needed to relax and try to enjoy work for the day. Soon, we were almost finished, and we took our time gathering supplies for the last assignment, filling the cart with bedding material and snacks from the kitchen.

A new cat had just arrived this week, and I didn't know much about her other than she was recovering from an infected minor gunshot wound. Mike and I had saved her area for last, since we knew it wouldn't need much other than a simple cleaning. We'd wanted to get the harder jobs out of the way first.

She eyed us carefully as I rolled the cart into the enclosure and locked the gate. I made sure to avoid direct eye contact while still keeping her within sight as we began to work. Her hackles rose, but she remained in her corner, only grunting a little growl of disapproval at the repetitive scrape of the rake against the ground.

"Hey, Bella?" Mike asked, pulling his phone from his pocket. "I've gotta take this; it's my kid's school. You'll be okay for a minute, right?"

"Sure. I'll finish up; you go ahead. We're almost done here, anyway."

"Great, thanks. I'll try to be back before you're done, so I can take the cart back."

I waved him off with a smile. "No problem, Tweety."

He snorted and flipped me off before heading out of the enclosure, leaving me alone with the new recruit.

-x-

_Huge. Mistake._

Those simple words were all I could think as I stood cornered by a very angry cougar. I should have never stayed in the pen while Mike stepped out. The cat was blocking my path out of the enclosure, hissing and growling and baring her teeth. Her tail twitched in irritation as she paced in front of me, all lean, coiled muscle and barely contained energy. For a sickly cat, she sure seemed spry enough. In spite of the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I was able to think clearly, my mind racing through every available option. Besides the measly can of pepper spray in my pocket, I had only my rake to defend myself. I held it across my body, metal spikes pointed low and out, trying to create a barrier between me and the cat.

As an admirer of nature, I'd always understood and appreciated the dynamic between predator and prey. However, now that I was about to become _actual prey_, that sort of knowledge was terrifying. But I couldn't think about that. If I let myself get scared, if I panicked and made a mistake... It just couldn't happen. I was trained to defend myself in this very situation. All I had to do was remember...

_Eye contact. Don't look away_.

_Make a lot of noise. Loud noises!_ A brief image of the dumb weatherman from _Anchorman_ popped into my head, and what started as a hysterical giggle morphed into a barely threatening growl, but it was all I had ― and it was enough. With my next breath, I was able to yell.

"Back! Back!" I screamed, stomping my feet.

_Look big. Look scary. Show the damn cougar your mean face!_

The temptation to look away was huge―I really hoped Mike was lining up a shot with a fucking tranq dart somewhere. Still, it would have been nice to have some visual confirmation.

She paced back and forth, testing me at every turn. I poked in her direction with my rake, occasionally hitting the ground in front of me. _Jesus, I hope I look threatening enough..._

Where the hell was Mike?

_They better get the tranq in this bitch soon_! I still had to fight her off while the drug took effect. She wasn't backing down, and she wasn't giving me any chances to dart for the exit. Just after a particularly long lunge with my rake, I stepped into a divot in the ground and lost my balance. The wooden rake handle snapped in half as it hit the hard dirt, and sent me pitching forward toward the cougar. I managed to fall right on one end, the blunt wood hitting me in the ribs. Air burst out of my lungs in a huge rush, leaving me nearly paralyzed, laid out like some kind of cougar buffet.

Everything slowed at once, all my senses freezing except for one. I wrenched my eyes open, coming face to face with the feral gaze of the big cat as she lumbered toward me in what seemed like slow motion. My heart pumped a frantic rhythm in my chest, and every beat felt like a fist hitting my ribs. Finally, my muscles decided to obey my brain's commands to run, and I scrambled to my hands and knees, turning my back on the cougar out of necessity as I tried to escape.

I really didn't want to look into the eyes of my killer while she ate me.

I heard the screams of the zoo patrons a split second before I felt her teeth tear through my calf. Searing pain radiated all the way to my hip socket when the canines ran out of flesh and encountered bone. One hard jerk from the cat, and I fell to the ground, twigs and rocks digging into my flesh were the camp shirt rode up as she dragged me backwards. Her claws tore into my thigh as she held me down and wrenched her mouth from my leg. Taking the chance, I tried to scramble away, but she bit me again, this time clamping just above the inside of my right knee. I realized I still clutched the broken rake handle―and it was my only hope of surviving this. I had only seconds before she attempted another bite, and next time, she wouldn't be going for my legs.

Cougars killed by suffocation. She'd be aiming much higher. I didn't want anyone nibbling on my neck but Edward...

Pushing aside the stupid thought, I blindly struck backward with the makeshift weapon, getting a moment of satisfaction when I felt the wood strike solid muscle. The impact reverberated up my arm to the very bone, and I wanted to feel it again and again. I let loose with another set of wild blows, screaming the entire time. _Where the fuck was the guy with the tranquilizer gun? _The sharp end of the stick found home in something soft, and I pushed with all my might. The cougar screamed in what I hoped was pain; fleeting concern for the cat's well-being cut short when more fire shot up my leg. She'd wrenched her teeth from my thigh, likely making the wound much worse. I looked behind me to see the cat gearing up for another go, and if she got that chance, I likely wouldn't make it out alive. She had retreated, finally, but she'd taken my weapon with her―it was buried in her flank.

Remembering the pepper spray, I jammed my hand in my pocket, closing my fingers around the cold metal of the canister. A staccato crack sounded behind me, followed by a rough grunt from the cougar, and I looked over to see a tranquilizer cartridge sticking out of her side, the orange flag on the end waving in the breeze. It became all I could focus on as she loped toward me in a clumsy gait, still all huge claws and teeth and fur and muscle. I thrust my hand up and aimed for her eyes. The pepper spray spewed out with a hiss, but I had no idea if it was reaching its target. My arm was getting so heavy...and why was it so hard to depress the trigger on a tiny aerosol can? This time, I barely felt her teeth when they pierced my forearm, effectively making me drop my last remaining defense.

Static crackled and hissed in my ears as blackness descended over my field of vision. Vaguely, I heard the drowsy snarl of the cat, and a thump sounded as she dropped to the ground next to me. I let my eyelids fall closed in relief, a small sob escaping from my chest. My fingers twitched, brushing coarse fur, and the ripe, earthy scent of her filled my nostrils. Both legs throbbed and burned, leaving me to wonder if I'd ever walk again―but I knew the answer was no.

I wouldn't survive this.

I could tell by the coldness that was slowly creeping through me, starting in my fingers and toes and moving toward my torso. Despite the fact that I was dying, only one thing dominated my thoughts: Edward. He would be so disappointed. What would this do to him? We'd been counting on time together as I grew old. Then he would have had time to prepare for my death. Now, he'd hear of it on the nightly news or read about it in the morning paper. I didn't want him to be alone again.

He'd just opened up to me...and I was going to die on him.

The scuffle of feet drew my attention away from the muddled thoughts as people rushed into the enclosure. Hands poked and prodded, and voices demanded answers I knew I should provide, but I couldn't find the strength—the agony was overwhelming.  
_  
All those people who say shock mutes the pain of grave injury? They're fucking liars. _

All shock did for me was drain every ounce of energy I possessed, making me too lethargic to complain about my injuries.

I laid there as they assessed my spine and poked at the lacerations in my legs, trying to keep up with the frantic conversations going on above me. My vision was almost completely dark now, but I knew my eyes were open. They were gritty and dry, tearless in spite of the pain, burning as if I hadn't blinked in ages.

Was sight the first thing to go?

"I think her right femoral is shredded. We've got to get her out of here or she's not gonna make it..." someone shouted as another person shoved a finger into one of my wounds.

That fucking _hurt._ Seriously, a white-hot branding-iron up the ass would have felt better. Weren't people supposed to pass out from extreme pain? Why wasn't _I _granted that privilege?

Though I wanted to scream so loudly my throat bled, all I could do was groan feebly. My leg throbbed in protest as someone applied a tourniquet, the jerky motion and tight clasp so painful it felt like they'd wrapped barbed wire around my thigh. The EMTs ignored me and kept working, transferring me to a backboard and clamping something around my neck. The world lurched as they raised the gurney and rushed off, every single bump sending flares of agony shooting up my spine.

The next thing I knew, I was startled by the slam of what must have been the ambulance door. Bright overhead lights seared my pupils, turning my world into a landscape of harsh, white heat and black emptiness.

"You got that bag of Lactated Ringer's ready? We've got to get a line going or she's going to crash." The EMT's harsh voice echoed in the small space, making my eardrums hurt.

The prick of a needle stung my forearm beneath my left elbow. I was already torn up; did they really need to poke more holes in me?

"Ringer's is going to be useless, man. She's gonna need Hespan; she's probably in hypovolemic shock. Did you see all that blood back there? I'm surprised she's still alive..."

_Great, assholes. Way to be optimistic about your job skills._..

It was one thing to know I was going to die, another to hear the paramedics all but admit it. Granted, they probably thought I couldn't hear them, but still...

"PICC line is ready whenever you are..." They stopped talking, and I felt a cold burn at the inside of my elbow as they started the drip. It wasn't painful, but it wasn't comfortable either as the treatment worked its way through my veins and arteries. A fuzzy, tingling feeling settled into my fingertips and toes, the feeling not unlike the pins and needles I felt after one of my limbs had fallen asleep.

A screech of tires sounded as the ambulance lurched to the side, throwing me against the straps that held me to the gurney. Just my luck...of course the ambulance would wreck on the way to the hospital.

"What the fuck?" someone shouted in the midst of the cacophony.

"Holy shit..."

"This is unit 451...we need response vehicles!"

Then...silence. No more sirens, no more yelling emergency personnel, no more whirring and beeping from the equipment in the ambulance; there was only the low, rumbling hum of the diesel engine. Concentrating hard, I opened my eyes, in spite of the fact that my vision wasn't cooperating. A blur of blinding white pierced my pupils, striking deep into my brain before I could shut my eyes. In another instant, it was replaced by blurs of golden softness.

Hard fingers enveloped my cheek, each point of contact searing my flesh in the most pleasant way.

"What have you done to yourself, Beautiful?" His voice soothed my ears, wrapping around me, driving some of the pain away. Beneath the metallic odor of blood, I could smell him, all honey and sunshine and heaven.

"Edward?" Why did I sound so weak?

"It's me, love," he whispered, stroking over my cheek. _He's never called me 'love' before...shit, I'm really dying._

"Am I dreaming? Am I already dead?"

"No, love. You're not dreaming."

I didn't fail to notice that he ignored my second question.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't want to leave you so soon."

"Shhh...don't talk. Save your strength."

"That's what they always say," I croaked. I was so cold...and his fingers were so warm..._he_ was so warm...

It was all so _wrong_.

If I worked really hard, I could just make out the golden hue of his irises. He must have fed since we'd parted, but I still wondered how hard it was for him to be around me when I was covered in blood...by his own admission, the most tempting blood he'd ever smelled.

"Are you going to eat me now?"

His face crumpled into a sob for a split second, before he forced out a strained laugh. "No, of course not."

"It's okay, you know. I'm going to die anyway. Those paramedics said so." My words were coming out slurred, and my tongue felt like it was three sizes too big for my mouth. A tingling, stinging itch was growing at the back of my throat, reaching deep into my lungs and venturing all the way to my lips. Tightness built in my chest as it became difficult to breathe.

"You're going to be _fine_." It sounded as if he was the one that needed convincing.

He lifted me in his arms, and I barely felt the shift in movement. In no time, a cool, humid breeze laced with mist stung my eyes, and I knew that Edward was running. I was almost sorry that I was missing the beauty of him at a time like this. I wanted to see the blur of buildings and deep green foliage that whipped along either side of us, even though my human eyes couldn't possibly keep track of any one thing as he rushed me out of the city.

"People will see..." I forced out through the iron band containing my lungs.

"We're too fast for human eyes to track." His voice was curt and tense, conveying every ounce of worry he must have been feeling.

I fell silent again, relaxing against his hold and concentrating on taking just one satisfying breath. Why was it so hard to breathe? It grew worse and worse, as did the tingling itch in my airway, until I was wheezing with every effort to draw in air.

"I...can't breathe," I choked, tugging at his collar.

"Just another moment, love; hang on!"

Minutes later we skidded to a stop, but I couldn't make myself open my eyes to see where we were. I didn't need to see where I was going to die, anyway. I'd seen Edward in my last minutes, and if that was all I was going to get, it was fine.  
Pain shot up my leg as he laid me on a soft surface and ripped at the already tattered material of my shorts.

"You have to help her, Carlisle!" Edward shouted, anguish and panic roughening his usually angelic voice. "You want to make up for what you did? _Help her!_"

_Carlisle? He took me to his _family_? Why? _

As I tried to reason the situation out in my oxygen-deprived brain, snippets of conversation floated above me. I recognized Alice's light bell-tones, Jasper's slow, whiskey-flavored speech, and a few others I'd never heard before.

"Edward, there's nothing we can do for her. She's severely hypovolemic, and she's in anaphylactic shock. Do you know what the EMTs used to treat her? She's having a major allergic reaction." This one sounded competent and calm in the midst of the storm, his voice soothing.

"No! I was too late!" Edward snapped. "I didn't get to her until she was already in the ambulance."

"Well if you would have answered my _first_ call—"

"_Shut up_, Alice!" Edward roared, causing me to flinch. "Carlisle, please!"

"I'm sorry, Edward. Her airway is constricting, and I have nothing to counteract the allergic reaction. We don't exactly have a need for epinephrine in this house. There's only..."

"No," Edward growled, and it was full of anguish.

I knew my time was running out. My chest was so tight it felt like it would explode any second, and I grasped Edward's hand where it rested near my leg. There was so much I wanted to tell him...but nothing would come to me in those final moments.

Forcing my eyes to open, I focused on his face. His eyes were dark, molten gold, burning with pain and rage, and I wanted only to soothe him. Using what was left of my breath, I mouthed, "I love you. Be happy, Edward."

.

.

.

* * *

_-Puts on Kevlar-_

_So, I actually replied to all the reviews last time! And if I missed yours, let me know. Call me names. I tried! I won't leave you guys hanging - the next chapter is written. Don't kill me, okay?_

_So, what do you think is going to happen? Do you wish I'd get attacked by a horde of zombies? (Sorry, I just watched The Walking Dead - I have zombies on the brain.)_

_Next update will be Wednesday, I think. You get it a day early because I was an idiot and decided to have the whole damn family over for Thanksgiving. God help me._

_Thank you for reading, and if you're so inclined to leave a review, you're awesome._


	11. Equilibrium

_I don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended._

_Thank you, as always, to AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal for pre-reading._

_

* * *

_**-Chapter 11: Equilibrium-**

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The last clear memory I possessed was of the mad dash out of the city in Edward's arms. The cold mist as it hit my exposed skin...the sound of his voice when he realized I was dying...

Apparently, I was still dying.

Who knew it would take so long? Either that, or I was dead and in Hell. Nowhere else could burn this hotly...but why was the fire so cold at the same time? I tried to open my eyes, but my muscles wouldn't obey the simple command. To distract myself from the torment, I ran random song lyrics through my head.

_Where do bad folks go when they die?_

_They don't go to Heaven where the angels fly._  
_Go to a lake of fire and fry… _

_Won't see 'em again till the Fourth of July._

So maybe the lyrics weren't so random, but the song amused me; I would have laughed if my body wasn't frozen in icy fire.

I'd always felt a little guilty for loving that song so much, but I never could resist Kurt's gritty voice as he sang it. I'd warble along with him, unashamed of my awful shower-singing. Something told me I should hang on to memories like this, because soon, they'd fade to nothing. So I sang, over and over. When I got tired of "Lake of Fire," I moved on to "Ring of Fire." After I finished with Johnny C., I called upon The Doors to "Light my Fire."

By the time I got to "Great Balls of Fire," I figured my mind was gone.

Another wave of burning cramps rippled through my body, driving away the music in my head, depriving me of the only solace I'd found in the many hours of agony. I wanted to tremble with it, but not even my autonomic nervous system was working, apparently. The fire burned and froze simultaneously, making my insides feel like they were being scrubbed with dry ice wrapped in razor wire. I'd never imagined such pain. Time stopped and everything froze, and it seemed like nothing else had ever existed before this…this _cauterization_ of every fiber of my body. There was nothing before the fire. Would it never end?

I had to make myself go away…I needed to hide behind a tiny locked door in my mind. Agony was all I knew. I could barely remember my name. Parents, friends, and acquaintances all slipped away. I had no idea how I'd come to be this way. _Nothing_ was worth this—yet I knew nothing would stop me from living the torture of a thousand deaths over and over again.

Days—it _must_ have been days—later, it got worse. My heart raced faster than I thought was possible, stuttering every few beats. _This_ was my eternity? What had I done to deserve this? Did I kill too many ants as a kid? Step on too many cracks? Walk under one too many ladders? _What the hell, universe?_

I heard an agonized scream, hoarse and rough, and realized it was mine. Fresh pain assaulted me, and my eyes snapped open as my back bowed up off the bed in reaction to the agony.

White light flooded my eyes and I squeezed them shut, screaming louder. Wasn't Hell supposed to be dark, suffused with the scent of sulfurous gases and dim, glowing red and orange firelight? Was I alive? In-between? I drew in more breath to scream and noted no noxious fumes, only blood and my own sweat, with an intoxicating crisp-sweet scent just behind it all. It was familiar.

But nothing else was.

Neither the room, the white ceiling, nor the bed to which I was confined was recognizable.

I didn't even know my name.

My heart sped faster and faster as I lay there, convulsing and arching, fisting my hands in the sheets. My fingers ripped through the material as if it was tissue paper. A heavy weight depressed the mattress next to me and strong hands held me down as I thrashed. I opened my eyes to see a face I recognized, a face that filled me with relief.

Wait...what was Edward doing here? He couldn't die—he was already dead. Sort of.

"Bella…Bella, I promise, it's almost over. Hang on for just a little bit longer." His voice was urgent yet soothing, and I remembered it as well.

I didn't want to hang on any longer. My pulse and respiration accelerated even more, yet I still felt as if I was suffocating. "C-can't take it," I managed to utter through chattering teeth. The sound of it was so deafening that I could barely hear my voice.

"Yes, you can. It will be any minute now." I knew he was trying to soothe me, but I wanted to punch him when I heard that patronizing voice. He wasn't the one dying here...he couldn't possibly know how badly I was hurting.

I was trying to work up the strength to rip into him when my heart stopped. I counted the seconds, relief swamping me as I waited for death.

One…two…three...

My heart stuttered, then began racing again, as fast as the wings of a hummingbird. Pressure built and built in my chest as it worked at light speed. Too fast. I was lost, not following his muttered, empty words, the weight on my chest overwhelming in its strength. I turned my attention inward, searching for any clues that this would soon be over.

_Wait…where is the fire? The burning ice?_

All that was left was the intense pressure encasing my chest, which threatened to shatter with every pump of my heart. I blinked rapidly, concentrating on all of my senses, hoping that this wasn't just a trick of my mind to protect me from the end.

"I'm so sorry, Bella...I had no choice," he was saying now, and it set off a multitude of conflicting emotions inside my head. I wanted to run away and hold on tight in equal measure. I shut my eyes in denial.

Panic set in and my heart began to flounder, stuttering at every other beat, until the pressure became too much. My chest exploded in an excruciating burst of agony as my heart raced in a flurry of beats, followed by silence.

I counted again. One…two…

_Thump._

Then nothing. I counted the seconds out of futility, reaching one hundred before I gave up. The pain was completely gone, but still I laid there, eyes closed, using all senses but sight to gather information.

It was _so_ overwhelming.

"Bella," that enticing voice crooned. I ignored it, trying to remain still, analyzing my surroundings.

I could smell everything in the room. Blood, sweat, tears…cotton, furniture polish…the chemically treated water that was in the glass on the bedside table...

And _him_.

Next, I concentrated on the texture of the cotton sheets beneath my fingertips. I could feel every fiber in the material, every flaw in the weave. My skin buzzed all over, absorbing the ebb and flow of minute currents of air…currents so soft I shouldn't have felt them moving against my flesh.

And the things I could _hear_: birds calling from miles away, needles falling off the pine trees outside the window, and the sharp, hollow sound as they hit the forest floor. Then I realized I wasn't breathing. I waited for the familiar urge to come, that suffocating, heart-pounding feeling that came when I held my breath underwater. I had an instinct to move air in and out of my lungs, but it wasn't due to the absence of oxygen. It was simply because the lack of motion in my diaphragm felt..._wrong_ to me.

My throat burned with thirst. I pictured the dry, cracked mud on the floor of Death Valley, imagined that it must look exactly like the inside of my mouth, complete with the sun-bleached skull of some poor, long-dead ruminant. I needed…_something_. The burning need took precedence over everything else. My brows knitted together as I clenched my jaw, not liking the feeling of a need dominating me so completely, so easily. Something was obviously wrong with me, and I was a little scared to find out what it was.

I finally sucked in a breath, the scent of sharp citrus and woods and man filling my nostrils. My fingers twitched with the need to reach out for the source, to pull him to me and rub myself against him.

"Bella!" he pleaded. "Bella! Please, look at me."

I opened my eyes, blinking rapidly to let my eyes adjust to the bright light. Edward was still here—wherever that was—and I couldn't figure out why. What had happened?

He was even more striking than I remembered. I could trace every line of his face from memory, knew the exact alabaster shade of his skin, loved his crooked smile, but he was just so much..._more_ now.

Looking around the room, I recognized nothing. My eyes skimmed over all its contents rapidly, my brain processing the information at an unbelievable speed. I was clothed in soft cotton jersey pants and an even softer t-shirt. The clothes felt unfamiliar, but then, so did everything else.

"Bella," he breathed, taking my face between his palms as he brought my gaze back to meet his. "I didn't intend to do this. I was going to let you go." He paused, eyes searching my face before stopping on my lips. "But...I couldn't help myself…I couldn't be without you. There was no other choice."

_What was he talking about? What choice? What did he do?_

I stayed still as he came closer, his lips hot and slick as they met mine. _Why is his mouth so hot? Shouldn't he feel cool?_ He pressed harder against me and I stopped wondering why I would think such a thing—I stopped thinking, period. My body needed no instruction from my brain when it came to him. I opened to him, accepting his kiss without question, blinded by the _rightness_, the perfection. He tasted just as he smelled: comforting sweetness and intriguing, sharp man combined with the wildness of the forest. It was familiar and comforting, but so intense, so much _more_.

Kissing him was like running blind—exhilarating and terrifying. This...this hadn't changed. He pulled away to plant reverent, desperate kisses down my neck, paying special attention to the curve of my jaw, an area that was especially sensitive to his lips. I broke out in chills as his hand searched my body, sweeping over me, before hooking his hand behind my knee and pulling it up over his hip while he stretched out beside me.

As much as I wanted to receive his touch and absorb all the pleasure he was obviously intent on giving me, I needed answers first. With shaking hands, I gripped his hair and pulled, easily moving his head so he met my eyes.

"What happened to me?" It was the first time I'd spoken since the pain had disappeared. My own voice sounded foreign to me, richer somehow. The realization only added to the confusion that I didn't think could grow any stronger.

He pulled my hands from his hair, and I noted it was difficult for him. Gritting his teeth, he pinned them to the pillow above my head with one hand, and I let him do it. Though for some reason, I knew I could break his hold if I tried. There was so much energy; it just hummed beneath my fingertips...

"You've changed," he murmured, stroking my cheek with the backs of his fingers.

_Changed? _

I was terrified, my brain fighting with my body for control. I had so many questions, but his nearness was making it extremely difficult to think. My body was alive, vibrating with energy and want, a combination of electricity and sheer…_capability_ I'd never felt, ever.

"You're even more beautiful than before." His hand trailed down to dip under the loose cotton of my t-shirt. I sucked in a reflexive breath when he flattened his palm over my lower stomach, pushing up the hem of the shirt. Keeping my eyes on his hand, I noted that my skin was the same milky white color as his. Something was off about the sight—though I'd always been pale, instinctively I knew my skin had always had more of a pink tinge to it when compared to his.

"Are you thirsty?" he questioned.

I dragged my eyes up to meet his, nodding. My throat burned, like I'd swallowed a blowtorch, or gasoline, or even hydrochloric acid.

He sat up, drawing me up to sit beside him. The glass of water from the nightstand was in my hands and pressed to my lips before I realized I'd even reached for it. 

_Why is my brain running behind my muscles?_ Shoving the thought away, I gulped the water greedily.

"Bella, don't!" Edward reached for the glass; I blocked him with one hand, hitting him in the chest.

I gasped in alarm, the glass dropping to the floor as he flew across the room, his big, heavy body cracking the drywall. At the same time, I realized the water was not sitting well, and had done absolutely nothing to ease the dry, raw burning in my throat. My gaze flew between him and my own hands, back and forth, my brain not comprehending what I'd just done.

"What the hell?" I whispered, watching as he slowly got up from the floor and cautiously approached me. Clenching nausea overtook me as he came closer. I fell to my knees on top of the shattered glass, but felt no pain as I knelt there, my body rejecting the water I'd tried to consume. Edward hovered over me, holding my hair away from my face, as I vomited on the floor. I felt fine when the last remnant of the water was gone from my stomach.

"It will take some time to get used to your new strength." He took my hand, leading me back to the bed, guiding me to sit next to him.

"'New strength'?" I laughed a little, in spite of the fact that physically, I felt better than I ever had in my short life. "I just got attacked by a cougar," I said, speaking slowly. Did he not remember? I'd almost died! "I can't even keep down water! I'm going to be on bed rest for the next few days, at the very least."

"Bella..." He chuckled uncomfortably, tugging my yoga pants up past the knee. "You won't be on 'bed rest' ever again."

In shock, I followed his hand, noticing the flawless skin on my calf and thigh. Instead of gruesome, red, puffy wounds and stitches, there was only a pale, perfect expanse of creamy skin.

"How...what...I...?" I sputtered, my mouth hanging open as I met his gaze, shock rendering me incapable of speech.

"I know I didn't ask...but I only just found you!" He looked down, denying me that intimate connection I felt whenever our eyes locked. "You were dying," he finished with a whisper. His knee moved over until it just grazed mine, like he couldn't bear to be without physical contact.

I just stared. At him, at the wall, at the floor...everything. It was impossible to miss the sharp detail in which everything was presented. Specks of dust floated in the air, their slow, drifting movement extremely distracting.

Placing my hand on the mattress beside me, I traced the shredded fabric, wondering how all this was possible. I had done this. Deliberately, I made a fist, easily ripping another hole in the flimsy material.

_Oh, God..._

I was up and moving in an instant, pacing across the floor so fast that I almost ran into the wall at the other side of the room. Hushed voices filtered up from downstairs, and I remembered that he'd taken me to his family's home after the attack.

"Why did you take me to _them?"_ I spat, anger flaring as fast as my newfound strength.

He grimaced, his entire frame tensing as he remained seated on the bed. "I didn't know what else to do. You were _dying,_" he repeated, raking a hand through his hair. "I thought if anyone could save you, it was Carlisle. I don't know a better doctor on this planet.

"We're not sure, since I wasn't there when the paramedics began their treatment, but we think you must have had a severe allergic reaction to the blood volume expander. We couldn't have saved you even if we'd been able to stop the bleeding."

While I processed this new information, I took the opportunity to study myself, noting the smoothness of my skin, the luminous sheen, and the presence of lean, yet feminine muscles I'd never possessed before.

I was completely different, and it terrified the hell out of me.

There were no more issues with balance; I had perfect posture and absolutely no instinct to move or fidget—I felt as if I could stand in this position forever, never moving. I stayed there, frozen, searching for and cataloging every single difference I found. I didn't need to blink, I couldn't keep down water, and I moved before my brain commanded my body to do so—faster than was possible for my mind to comprehend. All of my senses had been exponentially enhanced.

I needed to see my face. Did I look the same?

Edward watched me warily, his face lined with concern and something like impatience as I backed toward the bathroom that I instinctively knew was there. I never broke eye contact until I slammed the door, causing a large crack to split the upper corner of the wood. _Holy shit...I'm even more dangerous than before! _ Approaching the mirror slowly, I placed my palms on the edges of the porcelain pedestal sink and stared at the woman who looked back at me.

This woman was me…_yet wasn't_.

Her eyes shone crimson, reflecting the dim light of the night like those of a nocturnal predator, shades of glowing red dancing off the surface of the iris. I blinked slowly, counting to ten before opening my eyes again, but they were still the same. Gone was the dull, muddy brown I'd seen every day for the last twenty-four years. I flipped on the light and leaned closer, noting how my hair shone with every imaginable shade of brown: rich espresso, lush mahogany, and showy auburn.

My skin was unlined and free of any blemishes, but I had a new scar. A double crescent-shape glittered silver in the light, riding just under my jaw at my left ear. Was that a human bite mark? I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to force my mind to remember the details of those last few moments before the pain and blackness.

_What, in the name of God, am I?_

Warm hands that should have been cool encased my upper arms and my eyes snapped open as he spoke. How the hell had he gotten in here without me noticing?

"You're like me now," he whispered. I'd been unaware that I'd spoken my thought aloud.

Meeting his eyes in the mirror, I stated, "A vampire." He nodded slowly, and I trembled as his hands slowly slid down my arms and linked over my lower stomach, pulling me back against him. Sucking in rapid, unnecessary breaths, I clutched the porcelain basin so hard I felt the glaze begin to flake underneath my fingertips.

"Who did it?"

His mouth hardened and he looked away for a moment. "I did."

"Why?" I asked, my voice hissing between my teeth with surprising vehemence. He was too close, and my body reacted without permission from my brain in response to his touch, his scent. I wanted to tackle him to the ground, to rip away all our clothes and sink my teeth into his deliciously smooth skin, in spite of all the confusion and anger I felt.

He whirled me around, apparently no longer satisfied with just my reflection. "You were going to die, Bella."

"Mortals die. _Humans_ die! You knew it was going to happen eventually!"

Eyes flashing in anger, he demanded, "Do you remember your last words to me?"

Mutely, I shook my head. Everything was so unclear, like I was viewing my thoughts through cloudy water.

Breathing deeply, he leaned closer, resting his palm on my cheek. "You said you loved me. Did you mean it?"

The memory of his face above mine assailed me, his expression laced with agony and loss. "Yes," I whispered, unable to tell him otherwise.

"_That's_ why."

"You could have _asked!_"

"I know. I made the selfish choice, but I'm not sorry. You can't ask me to be sorry, Bella."

"Of course not. _I'm_ the one who's sorry now."

"Can you honestly say you've never considered this? You never once thought of being with me forever?" he demanded.

"I don't know! Not like _this!_" I stood stiffly in his arms, my voice rising with every word.

He flinched, pulling his hand from my face. Seeing him hurting was equally painful for me, but my feelings were diluted by the hot anger that heated my insides. I watched as he visibly shut off all emotion, becoming that statue-like being.

I felt my features harden in response, mirroring his expression. Two could play at this game now...

A knock at the bedroom door interrupted our wordless standoff, and I was grateful for the reprieve. I'd no sooner started for the door when Edward rushed past me, yanking the portal open to reveal two familiar faces...and four unfamiliar ones.

Alice and Jasper were flanked by two males and two females, all of them pale and golden eyed, like Edward.

But not like me. No one shared my newly-acquired carmine eyes. It was just as well. I doubted anyone else shared this feeling of helplessness I harbored. It was just one more thing that made me different.

"I thought I asked you to leave." Edward's voice was flat and cold, brutally hostile.

"It's _our_ house, Edward." Alice's tone was sweeter than ever as she peered around his shoulder, her eyes finding mine. "Welcome, Bella!"

I crossed my arms over my chest, not sure what to say. It wasn't as if this was some sort of planned induction into the family. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be a part of this...whatever the hell it was.

_I'm stuck with the fucking Manson Family. The Addams Family...The Munsters..._

"Can you keep your thoughts to yourself, Alice?" Edward snapped, his shoulders stiffening. "If you even think about it..."

"Oh, calm down, Edward. She's in control. For now." She looked me up and down for a moment, and then nodded. "We need to get her something to eat soon." Her eyes went blank, vacant, and Jasper placed a hand on her shoulder as she swayed slightly.

"What do you see?" Edward demanded, taking a step in her direction. Jasper was in front of her in a second, taking a protective stance.

"Stop it!" This came from a tall, blond man who stepped in between them. His voice was one I recognized. This was the man Edward had come to for help. _Carlisle...his maker. _"I know things are..._tense_, but I think we can all act like civilized people here."

I snorted involuntarily, the use of the word "people" amusing me greatly. Were we even people? Before the attack, I would have said yes, but now that I was one of them, I wasn't so sure.

"Just so you know, those aren't the lyrics to 'Yellow Ledbetter,' Alice," Edward scoffed, backing toward me, clenching his fists at his sides.

"How do you know?" Jasper asked with a smirk. "_No one_ knows what they are." This earned a chuckle from the rest of the group.

"You told me to keep my thoughts to myself, Edward," she shot back, sticking her tongue out at him. "Don't be complaining about my methods."

I laughed at the childish image, and was shocked at the sound. It was like bells, absolutely mesmerizing. I did it again, amazed at the difference in tone. After a few moments, I noticed everyone was staring at me, and I abruptly stopped. They probably thought I was certifiable.

The blond man, Carlisle, stepped forward and extended his hand. "Hello, Bella. It's a pleasure to meet you, even if the circumstances aren't the best. I'm Carlisle."

I shook his hand, belatedly remembering the importance of a firm handshake. He gasped, and I heard a distinct crack as he winced. I let go of his hand immediately, recoiling at the look of rage on one of the other females' face.

"I'm sorry!" I began, only to be interrupted.

"It's okay, Bella," Carlisle answered with a smile, rubbing his hand. He gestured to the woman just behind him, pulling her forward. "This is my mate, Esme." She remained still, eying me with distrust until he whispered in her ear, "Remember, she's a newborn, my love. She doesn't know her strength."

"I really am sorry," I whispered, gaze darting between the two. During the exchange, Edward had moved closer to my side, one arm going around my waist. I wasn't sure if I appreciated the closeness, but I had to admit, his touch was comforting. He was the only familiar thing in this unfamiliar world.

"Forgive me if I decline to shake hands," Esme said, a tentative smile forming on her red lips. She was beautiful, with caramel hair and matching eyes, her warm coloring a perfect complement to Carlisle's icy blond handsomeness.

"You already know Alice and Jasper," Edward said resentfully before gesturing to the two others I hadn't met, a huge wrestler type with curly, dark hair, and a tall, Gisele Bundchen-type blonde at his side. _Freaking vampire venom would be worth millions of dollars to Hollywood plastic surgeons...it really did turn people into freakishly good-looking statues._ "This is Emmett and his mate, Rosalie. Bella, meet my..._family._"

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_Songs mentioned:_

_"Lake of Fire" - Nirvana_  
_"Ring of Fire" - Johnny Cash_  
_"Light My Fire" - The Doors_  
_"Great Balls of Fire" - Jerry Lee Lewis_  
_"Yellow Ledbetter" - Pearl Jam_

_Did you guys really think I'd kill her...yet? (Oh, don't listen to a word I say.) You know my tender little black heart couldn't handle it! Sorry about the cliffie last week, but it was the best place to end the chapter._

_So, most of you don't want me to get eaten by zombies, which is awesome. And you all had faith in our selfish Edward—you knew he wouldn't just let her die. You were right, but Bella's not being very cooperative just yet, is she?_

_I was a bad author and didn't respond to many reviews last week, and I apologize. I was busy freaking out over the company coming tomorrow and frantically cleaning house. I do have chapter twelve mostly done, and the update will be next Wednesday or Thursday. Reviews will get a little sneak peek, because promising something lights a fire under my lazy ass and I actually get things done!_

_Oh, and happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate it this week!_


	12. Second Order

_Okay, um...I've got a warning for this chapter. It's got some gruesome stuff. I kinda grossed myself out, but I think it's really true to the story. It's only a little paragraph, but since I think I scared some of you with Bella becoming the cougar's dinner, I'll just warn you that there's a hunting scene in here that's a little...graphic. _  
_  
Thanks to AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and yoga_gal for prereading, even though I jumped the gun on poor yoga and she didn't get to see this one._

_Yeah, I still don't own it. But I do own the cougar that ate Bella._

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**-Chapter 12: Second Order-**

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"We'll have more time to talk later," Carlisle spoke up, disrupting the awkward silence that had fallen over us after Edward introduced everyone. "Bella, we've got to get you fed."

"I'm not hungry," I replied, placing my hand over my burning throat. "But I'm so thirsty..."

"You'll find they're much the same thing now," he said with a small smile. "Come."

"I'll take her," Edward snapped, his arm tightening around my waist.

"You can't hope to contain a newborn on your own, Edward," Carlisle reasoned.

"They'll be fine," Alice chimed in, looking entirely too happy for the circumstances, in my opinion.

"Alice, there's no way you can know for sure." This came from Rosalie, who was watching me with a wary but sympathetic eye. She shrugged in apology when I made eye contact. "You won't understand until you smell it," she explained.

It_...meaning human blood. _

I was a _vampire_.

I would have to drink blood. No more chocolate, no more potato chips, no more movie theater popcorn and that delicious, heart-killing shit they called butter.

I would live forever. By drinking blood. Ugh.

My distaste must have shown, because they all smiled patronizingly.

"Just wait," the huge one, _Emmett_, laughed. "You'll change your mind pretty quickly."

-x-

After a few more minutes of being argued over, they all finally decided to let Edward take me out to hunt, while the rest of them remained on the alert for any potential mishaps. I was getting tired of being talked about like I wasn't even present, but what else could I do? I'd been thrown into an unfamiliar world—a world I knew nothing about. A world that, by all rights, shouldn't exist.

I followed Edward out into the night, resolving to tear him a new asshole once we were alone. We paused in the clearing behind the house, and I looked warily out at the woods beyond. The air was heavy with mist and the chill of late evening, and carried the scents of the forest. The odors of rich earth, damp, decaying leaves, and fresh, piquant pine needles were familiar, but had so much more _depth_ than they had before. Below it all was a tinge of something decidedly _not_ of Kingdom Plantae—it was musky and pungent, like copper and leather and salty air with an underlying hint of sweetness.

Uneasily, I realized I was probably smelling the animals of the forest...and that I was supposed to eat them. Even more surprising to me was the fact that they actually smelled sort of appetizing.

"Can't you just get me a bag of blood from the blood bank or something? Maybe I could just eat some raw steak?"

He smiled softly, taking my hand and tugging me toward the tree line. "Sorry, Beautiful. If we gave you human blood in a bag, it would be even harder for you to resist it...er..._on the hoof_."

I dug in my heels at his term of endearment. "Stop calling me that."

"Why? You've never objected before." He frowned, keeping hold of my hand and raking his fingers through his hair. It was a mess, as usual, and I noticed his clothes were creased and disheveled, as if he'd been sitting in one place for too long. No blood stained the garments, however, so I knew he must have changed clothes since the morning of the attack.

The morning I died.

The morning Edward did to me what had been done to him, in spite of the fact that he still resented the choice that had been made _for_ him—not _by_ him.

"You don't get to call me that," I said softly, my chest constricting at the fuzzy memories running through my head—memories of human Bella and vampire Edward. Well, he was still vampire Edward, but now I was Elvira. Without the awesome rack and black wardrobe.

"Why not?" His features were inscrutable, which I knew meant he was hiding his true feelings. Well, good. I hoped he was just as screwed up in the head as I was.

"You know why," I snapped, my voice rising in the darkness, and if I still had a pulse, it would be pounding in my ears in anger.

"No, actually, I don't, Bella." The hard edge to his tone should have put me on edge, but my temper was overriding my common sense. "Please explain it to me."

"Explain? You _bit_ me. You _killed_ me. Put me through hell for _days_ without asking me what _I_ wanted. Do I need any more reasons?"

"You were already dying. And that cougar bit you long before I did. What else was I supposed to do? I just found you!" His eyes flashed as he spoke through clenched teeth and his fingers tightened on the hand that I was still letting him hold. Well, I could fix that pretty quickly. Yanking my fingers from his, I planted my hand on his chest and walked forward, grinning when he had to step backward or fall on his ass.

Pushing my anger to the side in favor of amazement at the discovery, I asked, "I'm stronger than you, aren't I?"

He hesitated. "No, I just...I don't want to hurt you," he said haltingly.

"Liar." I pushed against his chest, sending him skidding into a tree, which fell over with an echoing crash at the impact. I heard a faint trace of laughter coming from the house, which only egged me on.

Shock crossed Edward's face, but was soon replaced with the kind of ire that only occurred when a man had been thoroughly bested by his woman.

_His woman? No! Not anymore...if I ever was_.

Maybe if I kept telling myself lies, I'd believe them...eventually.

My train of thought was shattered as he got to his feet and dropped into a crouch, lips curling into a snarl, a low growl escaping. It was then I realized that while I might be a bit stronger than he was, I had no idea how to fight him. I was pretty sure human self-defense tactics would have no effect on a vampire. Then again, I wasn't human any longer, so any moves I tried on him would have my new super-spiffy vampire strength behind them...but I was still completely out of my element here.

So I ran. I had no idea where I was going or what I'd encounter, but anything was better than the angry male vampire with a bruised ego that was right behind me.

I crashed through the trees and underbrush, my eyes easily identifying and tracking all the obstacles in my way. It was amazing and effortless, and I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of me as I wove my way through the forest. Suddenly, I caught a whiff of something warm and bright, of salt and softness and..._God, my throat burns!_

Veering off in the direction of the scent, mouth watering, I forgot about the angry vampire with wounded pride that was chasing me down. Nothing else mattered but finding the source of that delicious aroma. I wanted to coat myself in it as I drank it down, until it emanated from my very pores, and then I wanted to do it all over again. And again. And once more, because third time's a charm and all that jazz.

One minute I was chasing down the most delicious meal in the history of forever, and in the next, I was face down in bitter, decaying leaves and wet, mossy earth.

"You might be stronger—for now—but not faster," Edward growled in my ear, his heavy body landing on top of mine, pinning me to the forest floor. No matter how much I wiggled or tried to throw him off, he stuck to me like a limpet. He had a major height advantage over me, which gifted him with leverage.

Fuck you very much, physics.

"Get off of me! I'm hungry!" So what if it sounded more like a whine than a command. I was thirsty, damn it.

"Are you going to run again?"

"No."

"Liar," he said, tossing my own accusation back at me.

"So we're even, then."

"I'll just catch you."

"Right. Only because I let you. I'll run you into the ground."

I growled in frustration, wiggling beneath him in a burst of movement, to no avail.

Except...what the hell was that? Was he _getting off_ on this?

What the fuck? Wait...were my lady parts _enjoying_ the fact that he was possibly getting off on this? I stiffened, wondering why the hell any part of me thought that was hot.

"Get OFF!" I shouted, drawing from some deep reserve inside of me, using all my newly discovered preternatural strength. Rolling, I flipped onto my back, pressing him into the ground, and leapt off of his stone form.

Before I knew it, I was able to pin him to the forest floor with my hands, holding him to the ground with only my forearms. He regarded me with golden eyes filled with shock.

"Not so fun to be the one with the disadvantage, is it?" I teased, making sure he could feel my breath on his lips.

"Not so much." He was panting; little puffs of air steeped in his scent hit me, and I had to fight the impulse to close my eyes and drink him in. "Bella, love..."

Yet again, it was his endearment that snapped me out of the almost-Edward trance. "Stop." A hiss escaped me, slipping through my clenched teeth in a reflex that seemed more natural than breathing. "I am _not_ your love."

"Mere words don't change what _is_," he shot back, eyes intense and burning. I felt a corresponding heat building low in my stomach at his words, and the fact that my body was betraying my brain only made me angrier.

"Words might not...but actions do." With that, I leapt backwards, landing several feet away from him. I watched warily as he got to his feet and dusted himself off, brushing bits of leaves and dirt from his hair and clothes. Deliberately, he started toward me, his signature smirk stealing over his features.

"You couldn't be more right," he acquiesced, coming to a halt mere inches from me. I had to tilt my head back to keep meeting his gaze, but I refused to back down. "I couldn't let you go when you were dying, and I'm certainly not going to let you get away from me now." One eyebrow raised in challenge, he reached up and picked a leaf from my hair, his fingers grazing my cheek on the way.

I was ashamed to admit it, but his proximity was doing strange things to me, just as it had when I was human. What had he done to me? What had I done to myself by letting him in? I now had an immortal creature who was fixated on me—so fixated that he'd made me like him in an effort to keep me. What was worse was that I was just as obsessed with him.

But could I trust him?

"Now, you need to feed. There's a small group of elk just to the north. I bet you can hear them if you focus."

I turned away, trying to block out all things Edward and attempting to concentrate on the task at hand. After all, it wasn't like we didn't have plenty of time to argue. Amazingly, I instinctively knew in which direction north lay. Okay, so there were a few benefits to this vampire thing...as a human, I'd been severely directionally challenged. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply, detecting a faint tangy, musky odor on the breeze as the soft scrape of grinding molars and the squish of earth beneath hoofed toes reached my ears.

I was moving again, Edward following close behind, before I'd even opened my eyes to the forest. Sounds and smells grew closer, stronger, until I came upon my prey. Four large elk grazed on thick, verdant grass in the center of a small clearing. I paused at the tree line, muscles tensing and mouth watering, venom all but streaming down the back of my burning throat.

"What do I do?" I asked lowly, knowing he was right behind me. I hated having to ask, but I couldn't just fall upon the animals and start tearing them to pieces, could I? I knew I was now the predator and they were merely prey, but I didn't want to hurt them any more than necessary...

"Be fast. Snap their necks beforehand if that makes you feel at ease. They won't feel any pain that way."

Something melted in my chest at his comment. The reminder that he knew _me_ so well wasn't the most welcome thing at the moment, but I couldn't ignore it.

"They won't kick me?"

He laughed almost inaudibly. "They won't have time. Now, hurry, before they catch our scent. Let your instincts guide you. Do as your body directs."

Instinct. I could do this. I _would_ do this.

Springing forward, I grabbed a large buck by the antlers, whispering, "I'm sorry," as I wrenched quickly. I watched, horrified, as the torque of my movement twisted his head clean off, sending warm, pungent blood spraying all over my face. Frozen, I stood there for an instant, fingers still clutching at the soft fuzz that covered his antlers, breath stuck in my chest.

I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry.

I could do neither, and perhaps that was almost as horrible as what I'd just done.

I sucked in a little breath, and what started out as a dry sob ended in a frenzied growl as I tasted the mist of blood in the air. After what seemed like hours later but was probably only minutes—I had no real idea—I blinked, looking down at my crimson-coated hands...arms...legs.

_All_ of me was red. It was another few blinks before I was able to meet Edward's eyes, trying to erase the bloody visions of gruesome carnage by submerging myself in his golden gaze.

He came toward me with slow, measured steps. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, bottom lip trembling in vain, a vestigial impulse rooted in a useless expression of sadness.  
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_"Bella, I promise, you'll learn to control your strength in time. We all do."

"I can't do this. I can't..."

"Yes, you can," he insisted gently, grasping my chin. "Predator versus prey. You know this. It's the natural order of things."

"But it's not! _This_ isn't natural! We're not natural!"

Edward flinched at my words, and I knew I'd struck a nerve. Eyes darkening and tensing in pain, he sighed. "We may not be...but we do what we have to to survive. Would you rather feed on people?"

"I don't know!" I snapped. It was all too much to take in. I was covered in blood, and even though I'd just destroyed and devoured almost a ton of mammal, I was beginning to want to give myself a damn spit bath. I was still so thirsty...

"Let's get back to the house and get you cleaned up. Then we'll talk about this."

I went willingly, eager to get away from the morbid, messy reminder of what I'd done. At the house, I'd wash the lingering physical evidence off of my body, and then I'd ask the one question that had leapt to the front of my mind when I'd come out of the frenzy and saw what I'd done.

I had to ask myself if I wanted to die...because I didn't know if I could live like this.

-x-

I sat on the hard tile floor of the shower, shivering in only my bra and underwear, paralyzed by the constant stream of thoughts that ran through my head as forcefully as the scalding hot spray of water from the shower head. Those elk had been ripped apart mercilessly amidst a spray of blood and gore, destroyed by my hands.

Holding them up in front of my face, I examined my fingers almost clinically, noting the rust-colored, dirty crescents of my fingernails. My hands looked so delicate and small, contrasting violently with that crimson-streaked overlay, the evidence of my transgressions. I was suddenly scrubbing at my stone skin, rubbing away the layers of grime and gore until they swirled in a watered-down, red-clay river toward the drain.

The way they'd all looked at me when Edward brought me back to the house...the monsters had all regarded me as if I was something to be reviled, recoiling in horror at my appearance. Edward's words had come rushing back at me, every bit of the story he'd told me only a few nights ago.

Would they cage _me?_

Would Edward _let them?_

-x-

_"I didn't mean to do it!" I shouted, shrinking back against Edward. Even though I didn't fully trust him, I trusted _them _less. Edward hadn't even been a newborn when they'd attempted to take his freedom... He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and murmured something soothing into my ear, but I couldn't process the actual words. I could only stare at the six preternaturally beautiful people that stood before us, watching me as though I was some kind of wild animal._

_I supposed they were right__—__because what I'd done today in the woods didn't have a shred of humanity attached to it._

_"We know, Bella," the one called Rose said, coming forward. Edward growled, a low sound filled with threatening promise. "Calm down, Edward. Let me talk to her."_

_"If you hurt her..." His threat was thrown up like a brick wall, but Rose crashed through it anyway._

_"Don't you think I know how she feels?" She looked at me with soft eyes, holding out her hand. I took in the sight of her, noting that while her nails were polished a soft pink, some were shorter than others__—__as if she'd been in a fight for her life and a few had been torn to the __quick. "I know, Bella. Believe me, I know."_

_The look in her eyes...the shine, that glint of rage... Even if our experiences weren't exactly the same, she knew what it was like to have that one basic choice taken from her__—__the choice between living or dying, and possibly even more than that._

_I knew then that whatever her story was, it was horrible...and she was still here, still free. Kind, caramel eyes pleaded with me to take the help she offered, and I wanted to. I felt a sort of kinship with this beautiful woman, something completely different than what I felt for Edward. What I felt for him was confusing and exhilarating; it made me nervous and unsure and on edge at the same time as it made me feel warm and worshiped. Rose's presence was all calm commiseration, and I needed that more than I needed the electrifying tingle of Edward's touch at the moment. Shakily, I took her hand, feeling Edward release me with a frustrated sigh._

_"If you need me, just whisper my name," he told me, brushing the pad of his thumb across my cheekbone. "I'll be right there, I promise."_

_Nodding slowly, I placed my free hand on the back of Edward's, gently prodding him to release me. His arms dropped to his sides, hands clenched into hard fists; I knew letting me go was difficult for him, but I told him with my eyes that he had to do it._

_If I was ever going to forgive his high-handed decision making, he had to make this first step._

_He stepped back from me, and I followed Rose as she led me up to the third floor bathroom that adjoined the room in which I'd awoken to this life. Calmly, she turned the shower spray to steaming and started to gently remove my soiled clothing._

_"I had been raped and left for dead when Carlisle found me," she began softly, stuffing my shirt and pants into the trash can. I watched her face as she spoke, noting the way her features looked almost breakable in the moment. "I was violated by the man I'd promised my life to...he took by force something that I would have freely given had he only waited. Afterward, I wanted to die...I _waited _to die, and instead, I awoke to this." She laughed then, a sound devoid of emotion, a mockery of the word._

_She told me of her rough adjustment period to this life, how she'd floundered and cursed her very existence until she'd found Emmett, her mate. It was only then that she'd accepted her lot in life and found reason to be grateful._

_"I won't tell you how to feel, or what to do. It's up to you, what you decide to do __with this life. But you have something right now that I had to wait decades to gain._

_"No matter how you feel about Edward at this moment, you might change your mind once all of these emotions stop roiling around in your head. I'm not going to beg you to forgive him because he loves you or anything like that. It would be manipulative._

_"I'm pretty sure he's told you what happened between all of us. Just please...know that all isn't as it seems. At the same time, I realize that what we did to him was unforgivable, but I can live with that if it brought you to him."_

_My mind spun, attempting to work through all the nuances of what she was telling me, even as I tried to reason my way around all that had happened in the last few days._

_She laughed again, and this time it was a sound borne of amusement and affection. "Edward is manipulative enough for the rest of us. But not with you...you're silent to him." She steered me toward the shower, guiding me through the tiled archway until I stood under the spray, frozen. Backing away until I couldn't see her anymore, she fell silent for so long that I thought she'd left the room._

_"Don't feel like you're the one without any power, Bella. You hold him in the palm of your hand, but neither one of you realizes it. You are very much in control."_

-x-

I was crying—as much as I could now, anyway. Dry, agonizing sobs shook me all the way to my soul, like the very center of me was being ripped apart and the jagged, mismatched edges shoved back together over and over again. Hugging my knees to my chest, I pressed my face against my water-temperature flesh, wishing like hell I had tears to cry.

Then Edward was there with me, pulling my stiff body into his lap and cradling me in his arms. He was still fully clothed, the sodden fabric of his jeans chafing against my thighs.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered, pressing my cheek to his shoulder.

We sat in silence, and I stared at the steam-glazed tile as the water fell in a soft hush around us.

"I love you." His voice shook, the words laced with regret and devotion and obsession. "I didn't know what I was missing until I found you, and then...I couldn't let you go."

His words curled up inside me, working their way under my ribs and ripping at the cold lump of frozen muscle in my chest. Gentle fingers traced down my arm, back and forth across the sensitive skin between my elbow and shoulder. I raised my head, eyes meeting his through the humid mist that shrouded us in warmth. The golden whiskey of his irises shimmered in the thick air, and I wondered what he saw. How did he not see the red-eyed, blood-coated monster that was frozen inside my head? How was he not disgusted?

"I don't know if I can do this. Not even for you," I admitted, almost muted by the rush of the shower. If I'd still been human, my heart would have been beating out of my chest.

"Please...try. I know this is the most selfish thing I've ever done, but I promise you won't regret it. If you can't, then I'll let you go...and I'll come with you."

He didn't give me time to respond, only pressed his lips to mine in a kiss borne of an obsessive kind of reverence. Gentle fingers combed through my hair, sweeping the wet tendrils away from my face and tucking them behind my ears. His tongue was velvety rough and hot against my lip, tentatively begging for my wordless surrender, which I gave all too willingly. Licking at my mouth eagerly, he pulled me closer, swallowing my moan of pleasure and grief, silently begging with hands and mouth to let him bear all my fears, my insecurities.

He scraped his teeth over my lower lip and soothed it with his tongue, sucking me into his mouth with a fervor and strength he'd never displayed before tonight. Releasing my flesh with an audible sound, he dragged his mouth across my jaw, panted heavily near my ear.

"I can't be in a world where you don't exist." It was barely a breath; it barely contained sound, but I heard him loud and clear, and his conviction took root deep inside me, curling around my soul, sinking in with sharp barbs and clinging vines.

"Edward...I..."

His lips were back on mine, tongue against tongue, mouths colliding and sharp teeth scraping. He pulled away just as abruptly, resting his forehead against my shoulder, holding me so tightly I knew he would have crushed me had I been human. For the first time, I was glad of my new strength. It allowed me to feel the literal force of his feelings.

Before, I'd wondered if Edward was the man of my dreams, but now, I realized there was no such thing. There was no perfection, there was no knight in shining armor—and I didn't want one.

But I still didn't know if I wanted _this._

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_Lots of you have questions about the ambulance. I promise, they'll be answered, but I didn't get to it here. Just be patient for a little longer, okay? :) I'm working on chapter 13, but I don't have much done so far...I was busy writing a WiP outtake and doing the Thanksgiving thing. I'm still hoping to get the chapter done for next week, though, if my brain permits._

_Thanks for all the awesome reviews. I think I missed a couple of you this week, and I'm sorry! I owe you. Shit, you don't want to hear it, do you? A chapter is a better substitute, right? I hope so._

_So, um...let me know what you think. I can't lie, I like the reviews. A lot. They're like chocolate - I can't get enough. Thanks again for reading, and I'll see you next week!_


	13. Binding Constant

_I don't own Twilight. But I do own a box of Jiffy that's out of date by 2 years. Oh, the things you find when you clean out your pantry..._

_AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal are the guinea pigs – any errors are mine._

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**-Chapter 13: Binding Constant-**

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Edward made sure all traces of the hunt were gone from my hair and skin, and when I still wasn't ready to get out of the shower, he sat with me until the water ran cold. Though it didn't affect me as it had when I was human, sitting underneath a stream of cold water was probably never pleasant, unless one was bathing in a tropical waterfall. Or if one was a penguin.

Being here with him, so close and nearly bare, was a little too much for my overstressed brain. I knew his feelings for me, and they had colored each swipe of the washcloth, each brush of his fingers, with the heavy, cloying memory of another time he'd touched me. And while I couldn't deny that I loved him, I was _not_ naïve enough to think that love would conquer all. We weren't living in a fucking fairy-tale.

Lately, my life had been more like a low-budget horror film.

I knew that love could make things worse. It would cloud my judgment, put a rose-colored tinge on everything that happened from here on out. People fell in and out of love all the time, and "till death do us part" was a moot point when vampires were making the promises.

I could feel his eyes on me as I rose to turn off the water, took a towel from the rack outside the tiled shower, and began to wipe myself dry. It took an immense amount of effort not to look at him—the sight of him wet and looking so sad...it was like looking at a damn puppy. Aside from the whole wet sex-god thing he had going on.

"Let me," he said softly, hesitantly, as if he was afraid using a louder voice would scare me away.

"I can do it." Running the towel over my wet hair, I stared at the floor. Anything to avoid his intense stare, because it sparked an uneasy, off-balance feeling in my belly. He stood in the archway of the shower at the edge of my peripheral vision, water dripping from his soaked clothes, and I could almost feel the insecurity and want coming off him in waves. The weak part of me wanted to comfort him, use the chemistry we had together to cancel out all the confusion, but even in my numbed state I knew any relief it provided would only be temporary. I settled for tossing him the other towel so he could try to dry himself a bit.

Edward cleared his throat. "I believe Alice bought some clothing for you while you were...indisposed."

I snorted, ridiculously amused at his word choice in spite of the reminder of my three days of death. How nice of her. I burned alive, and she went out on a shopping trip. _Nice to know someone was having fun... _

"There are bags in the closet. I'll just be in the room across the hall if you need me."

Wrapping the towel protectively around myself, I finally looked up to meet his gaze. I'd be damned if I got naked in front of him right then. This was bad enough—me in a _very _transparent white cotton bra and underwear while he was soaking wet, his shirt and jeans plastered to the lean cut of his muscles. My palms itched with the urge to put my hands on all that wet skin of his, and I knew just how smooth and supple it would feel. Fuzzy, scorching-hot memories of the night before I changed made me wonder why holding on to my anger was so important when I knew how good he could make me feel. There was a big part of me that insisted I didn't even have to give up my anger to indulge in the distractions he could give me.

It might even make it hotter...

_Jesus, I have no willpower at all._

...Really, really hot. Why should I deprive myself? I was stronger than him, too. I could hold him down and make him beg...

_What the fuck is wrong with me? _

I couldn't let this go on any longer.

"I'll let you know." The words were cold and curt; though the pain on his face spiked an echo deep in my chest, I still wouldn't take them back. I couldn't trust myself around him—if I didn't push him away right this minute, I'd cave.

Without another word, he brushed past me, his wet shoes squelching on the tile floor as he exited the little room. The harsh slam of the door made me jump, and though his absence made me feel empty and frustrated, I was grateful to be alone.

After stripping out of my wet underwear and dressing in the clothes provided, a pair of designer jeans and a soft, fitted sweater, I laid down on the bed. I really, _really_ wanted to sleep, but even that had been taken from me. If only I could pinch myself and find that I was tucked in Edward's arms on that leather couch back on Fox Island. There was no cougar attack, no vampire family...no vampire Bella. I closed my eyes in vain and waited, hoping sleep would take me.

How long I laid there was a mystery, but my mind wouldn't turn off. Finally, a soft tap at the door drew my attention.

"Who is it?"

"It's Rosalie," came the soft response.

I didn't really want to speak with anyone, but for some reason, I knew that the visitors would only keep coming if I stayed locked up in here. "Come in."

The door opened with a soft click and Rose came into the room. She perched lightly on the side of the bed, bringing a wave of her pleasant, calming scent with her. I was beginning to notice that everything and everyone had a particular olfactory identifier, much more so than when I was human. I really was more like an animal now, and while the thought sparked activity in the scientist part of my brain, the scared little girl part really wanted her time to wallow.

"I used to do that, too," Rose said softly. "I wanted to go back to sleep and never wake up. Nothing like vampire insomnia to kick you in the ass."

I felt the corners of my mouth turning up in spite of my mood, and I opened my eyes to find her watching the forest beyond the large picture window that dominated one wall of the room.

"How did you do it?" My voice was a dry, cracked whisper, barely audible above the sound of my own unnecessary breath.

She hesitated. "I kept myself busy...by tracking down the men I held responsible." A cruel smile twisted her lips. "I made sure their deaths were worse than mine."

I blinked in surprise, trying to picture the carnage. For some reason, it didn't bother me as much as the thought of what I'd done to that poor elk. Animals were innocent. People were..._not_. No one knew that better than Rosalie. Not for the first time, I wondered if it would be easier to kill and eat a human.

"Did you eat them?"

"No, I didn't. To me, drinking their blood meant carrying a piece of them with me for the rest of my days, and they didn't deserve that. I wanted to make them disappear."

I sat up carefully, making sure not to rip any of the sheets on the bed, and crossed my legs in front of me, Indian-style. She didn't offer any more information, and I figured it was still hard for her to speak of it.

"Did you hate Carlisle?"

"I thought I did, at first. I hated Edward, too."

"Why?" Even though I had my issues with him, he'd had nothing to do with the circumstances that brought Rosalie into this life...right?

"Carlisle 'saved' me because he thought I'd make a suitable mate for Edward. Needless to say, it didn't work out. We didn't get along well. Still don't, really."

I was unprepared for the wave of jealousy that flashed hot under my skin. My body reacted without instruction, muscles tensing, eyes zeroing in on her taller frame as I tried to pick out her weaknesses. There was no reason for it; after all, she had Emmett, and Edward didn't seem interested in her that way. She'd been nothing but kind to me and didn't deserve my anger, especially over someone I wasn't exactly happy with at the moment.

"Bella, calm down. It was never like that between us. We fought like cats and dogs." She took my hand and loosened it from the bedspread I'd been unconsciously mangling.

"I'm sorry...I don't even know why I care," I muttered, looking away. This vampire thing was like riding a Bipolar roller-coaster. _All aboard the Lithium Express—fasten your fucking seatbelt! _

"I do," Rose laughed, her pretty voice rife with amusement.

"Well, pretend you don't."

"Yes, ma'am." She mock saluted me and went to rifle through the remaining bags of new clothing. After a few moments of approving nods and smirky eye-rolls, she looked back in my direction, finding me staring at her. "What? You're not exactly the most talkative person. Should I just sit there and brood with you?" She let out an unladylike snort and shook her head. "You really _are_ perfect for him."

My mouth dropped open in a surprised laugh, which I immediately stifled, smothering my smile into a scowl. "Maybe I don't want to be."

"Like I said. Perfect." She picked up a small remote and pointed it at the flat screen television perched on the opposite wall. "Here, maybe some television will help you zone out."

A local news program popped onto the screen. The sound was off, the anchors' mouths moving just a fraction of a second ahead of the sound feed. But that wasn't what drew my attention.

They were talking about _me._

"_Still no word on local Woodford Park caretaker Isabella Swan, who disappeared on the way to the hospital after a deadly animal attack. Authorities are still searching for an unidentified white male, who is wanted for questioning regarding her disappearance. This man is considered a person of interest in the case, and also may have information on the related assault of two Seattle EMT personnel. Only a basic description was available..."_

"Holy shit," I breathed, "They're looking for Edward."

"Bella, maybe we should watch something else," Rose said carefully, pointing the remote toward the television. I was up and snatching the plastic from her hands instantly, miscalculating the strength needed to grasp the remote, crushing it into several pieces. "Well, I hope you like this channel. I don't think we have a spare clicky-thing."

A little laugh bubbled up from my throat at the words "clicky-thing" coming from a vampire.

"Oh, shit, you're not gonna go all hysterical on me, are you?" Rose was watching me like I was a nuclear bomb about to explode any minute. I started to respond, but the breath in my lungs froze as I heard a familiar voice.

_"Please, just let Bella come home..._" He paused, swallowing deeply, his face creasing in sadness. Sound faded away in a wash of static, and though he started speaking again, I couldn't hear the words.

My father stood in front of the grainy camera, my mother by his side. It was a sight I hadn't seen in years, since they'd divorced when I was only a child. Both looked drawn and tired, the evidence of grief and sleepless nights written plainly on their faces. The static disappeared as quickly as it had come, as if someone had ripped a pair of noise-canceling headphones from my ears.

_"And if she's...if she..."_ My mother sobbed, holding a tissue to her eyes. 

_"Just let her come home,"_ Charlie finished scratchily, putting an awkward arm around Renee's shoulders.

"Oh, God..." Guilt burned through my chest when I realized I hadn't thought of them even once since 'waking up.' Blinking rapidly to make up for the tears that wouldn't come, I looked up at Rosalie in panic. "I have to go to them. They need to know I'm still alive," I rushed out.

"Bella, you can't—"

"Don't tell me I can't see them!" Anger boiling over, I shoved her out of the way and started for the door, which burst open to reveal Edward and Emmett in the doorway.

"Why are you letting her watch that, Rose?" Edward demanded, never taking his eyes from me.

"Because she doesn't get to tell me what to do!" I shouted at him. "And neither do you!" Aiming for the slight gap between the two men, I ran at full speed, thrashing about when two sets of stone arms encircled me.

Edward's voice sounded softly at my ear. "Bella, please, calm down."

"Jesus, Ed. She's a strong one," Emmett grunted, which only inflamed me more.

"I'll fucking calm down when you let me see them!"

"Love...you can't." I heard the sadness in Edward's voice, but it did nothing to mitigate my anger. "They would know you're different..." He brought one strong hand to cup my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"You've taken everything." It was harsh, hateful, and I felt satisfaction and pain in equal amounts as I saw the impact of my words in his eyes. I wanted him to hurt like I was hurting, yet at the same time, I knew I was going too far. I would have been dead to them on that day with or without Edward.

I still couldn't stop myself.

Soft footsteps on the stairs let me know others were coming up to investigate. Carlisle and Esme reached the top of the stairs, both of them regarding me with solemn, determined faces. I'd stopped fighting, so Emmett backed off and went to Rose, who was brushing bits of plaster from the wall out of her hair, leaving Edward to restrain me on his own.

"Let. Me. Go." Edward absorbed each word like a bullet, wincing at the impact.

His fingers trembled where they touched my body. "I can't."

Logically, I knew I couldn't see my parents; it was impossible—there would be no way to explain my very evident lack of mortal injuries. I couldn't exactly show up at Charlie's house and announce, _'Hey, Mom and Dad! Look, I'm completely fine. In fact, I'm indestructible now—but there's only one little problem...I'm on this new liquid diet.'_

Esme came forward, placing a tentative hand on my shoulder. "Bella, it's just not possible now. There might come a time, later, when you can see for yourself that your parents are okay, but for now, do you really want to place them in that kind of danger?"

All the fight drained out of me and I slumped against Edward's frame, letting him hold me up. "From me?" I asked, thinking I already knew the answer. I didn't care what she said, I _would_ see my parents again. There would be lots of time before they realized I didn't age...I could have time to prepare...

"You probably wouldn't be able to control your impulses around humans, even those you care about," she told me softly, nodding. "Not only that, there are rules that must be followed in our world."

"We have a group of...leaders, for lack of a better word," Carlisle explained. "Their only rule is secrecy—that humans never know about our kind." Casting a side-eyed look in Edward's direction, he continued, "Edward has likely already pushed that envelope beyond what they're willing to tolerate."

"How? By hanging around with me? A human?"

Correction: _former_ human.

Esme shook her head. "By taking you from the ambulance. The whole situation leaves a large amount of loose ends."

Carlisle added, "Edward took you in broad daylight, without regard to witnesses. Your disappearance has brought a lot of media attention to the area, and there have been a few...rather _interesting_ reports of a strange, pale man causing an accident on the freeway—"

"What was I supposed to do, just let her die?" Edward snapped, his angry gaze darting between the others.

"Maybe," I whispered, staring at the wall.

Edward fell silent, clenching his jaw and squeezing his eyelids shut. It only made me feel worse.

Even as I said it, I started doubting the truth of the statement. I couldn't deny that even now, in the midst of all the tension and turmoil, being in his arms made me feel safe and cared for. I couldn't deny how thrilling it felt to be his equal, to feel his skin give against mine...to feel him warm to my touch.

If only it could trump the anger and guilt I felt every time I was reminded of my former humanity.

-x-

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" I asked later, as we stood in the woods that lined the perimeter of the house. Apparently, I needed to learn a few more things, according to Edward. I was eager to run, itching for some kind of altercation to expend the limitless energy I felt flowing through my veins. And as much as I hated to admit it, hated the thought of killing another animal, the burning in my throat was becoming too harsh to bear. Carlisle and Esme had gone off on their own to hunt, leaving me alone with Edward, while Emmett and Rose stayed behind at the house.

"They've gone on a hunting trip up north. Carlisle asked Alice to let me have some space." His words carried no inflection, his voice flat and lifeless. He wouldn't look at me for more than a fraction of a second, and he hadn't touched me since I'd tried to escape after seeing my parents on the television.

I didn't like it. At the same time, I knew I'd probably reject any overture he made, and he probably knew it, too.

I hated my new brain's capacity to feel so many emotions at once.

"Edward?"

He looked down at me with dull, dark eyes. "Yes?"

"Can you tell me why they wanted to imprison you?"

He let out a humorless laugh. "I thought I already did. Alice saw me as a killer."

"Right, but...isn't that what vampires are supposed to do?"

"She saw my actions bringing our leaders—the Volturi, they're called—to our coven." He smirked, a derisive twist of his lips, containing none of the mischief I normally associated with the expression. "Looks like even Alice the All-Knowing can't prevent everything. I've probably still brought the Volturi upon us...just not in the way she expected."

"Because you..._saved_ me?" It was still hard to force out the word 'saved'—I wasn't sure if he'd saved me or damned me.

"Yes," he answered, his voice breaking. I noted the way his fingers trembled before he made them into fists, hands firmly at his sides.

"Edward...you shouldn't have done that for me."

"I didn't do it for you!" he snapped, looking away. "I did it for _me!_ Do you have any idea what love is like for someone like me?" Then that gaze was on me again, ensnaring mine as he stalked forward. I backed away until my back was up against the shaggy bark of a tall spruce, shaking my head the whole way.

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't tell me you're sorry. I don't want to hear you're sorry! I want to hear you tell me you love me!"

My mouth fell open, my chest working overtime in useless movement as he placed his hands on either side of my head, leaning in until his body was inches from mine.

"You let me touch you, kiss you. You made me care, made me think you cared about _me!_ Was it all for nothing? For the thrill? Was being with me just the ultimate 'fuck you' to common sense?" His voice became more ragged with each question, pupils dilating until there was only a thin circle of dark, aged whiskey encircling the bottomless black.

"No," I whispered on a shuddering breath, digging my fingertips into the soft, flaky bark behind me. My eyes darted all over his face, from the way his bright hair fell over his brows in disarray, to the lines of tension that creased the corners of his eyes.

"You have to tell me what you're thinking. It's killing me, the not knowing." His face softened, vulnerability seeping through the cracks of his angry facade. It brought everything I felt for him to the forefront, beating my anger back until it was only a shadow, only a fraction of the tumultuous swirl of emotions that sprang to life at the sight of him.

"_I_ don't even know what I'm thinking, Edward. I'm so confused...there's all this..._stuff_ rolling around in my brain, and I don't know what's real and what's not."

"I'm real," he whispered, inching closer, dropping his head, until the tip of his nose brushed mine. "What I feel for you, it's real." His eyelids dropped closed and he rested his forehead against mine, one of his hands grazing my shoulder as he reached down to entwine our fingers.

"I don't know what I'm doing here."

"Let me show you. I know I dragged you into my world without your permission, but please, give it a chance. I think you could learn to like it, maybe even be happy." He squeezed my hand and lifted his head, eyes opening, locking with mine. I imagined I could almost see the perfect reflection of myself in his pupils—hell, maybe my new vision _was _that good—and it made me wonder if he saw himself in mine. His lips trembled and he swallowed nervously as the silence grew, exposing his anxiety to me in a way that made my chest hurt.

It was growing dark; dusk had fallen almost without notice, coating the edge of the forest in its inky, velvety cloak. Wisps of mist crept in from below, lending such an otherworldly appearance to our surroundings that the fact that two vampires were standing amongst the trees didn't seem strange at all. The air carried the promise of frost, and had I been human, it would have chilled the tip of my nose, brought the blood to my cheeks, formed clouds of steam from my breath. It was startling to realize that I didn't particularly miss the feeling of cold air whipping against my formerly fragile flesh—I could enjoy the quiet beauty of the night without the limitations of my human body. Alarmed at the thought, I dug the fingers of my free hand into the bark of the tree, feeling it give way easily beneath my grip. It was supposed to anchor me, tie me to the past, but all it did was remind me of my place in this new, strange world. I was still clinging to the world I knew, but it didn't want me anymore.

He _did_.

And I couldn't tell him no—because I wanted him, too. He was all I could have of my old life, and I wasn't strong enough to resist the familiarity he offered. If I was honest with myself, I didn't really want to.

"Okay," I finally said, my voice wavering. A smile started at one corner of his mouth, spreading quickly until it lit up his whole face. I couldn't deny that seeing him look so happy gave me this really stupid, girly feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was actually comforting—such a _human_ feeling, and perhaps it was even more sharp and sweet than before. Letting go of the tree, I rested my hand at his waist lightly, imagining I could feel heat underneath the fabric of his shirt. His arms came around me and he pulled me to him, burying his face in the crook of my neck. I couldn't move for a split-second, but then I returned his hug, enjoying the comforting feeling of his body pressed to mine. My toes almost left the ground for a moment, before he quickly set me back down and stepped away, looking down.

"Sorry," he said, his voice faltering, the silence stretching into long moments. Finally, he cleared his throat and gestured to the trees. "You took to running pretty well, but you'll probably want to practice climbing trees and making big jumps. You never know what kind of paths you might need to take when running your prey to ground. I can give you an example, if you like—just watch me. You'll need to feed again soon, anyway."

He relaxed little by little as he talked, and I seized the opportunity to leave the heavy, huge discussion of the future behind for a bit. I observed as Edward pursued another elk, which seemed to be only one of many that dotted the tree-covered foothills of the Cascades. I tried to keep my pursuit as quiet as possible so as not to interfere with the hunt. It was amazing, the way he took to the trees silently, choosing to ambush his prey from above.

A fuzzy memory of my human self wishing for this very moment washed over me, and I watched raptly as he crouched on a branch directly above his target, one hand clamped to the bark next to his feet. He leaned out slowly, almost hovering in the air above the animal before dropping to the ground with lethal grace. His feet barely made a sound as he made a perfect landing on the forest floor, the elk lifeless and silent next to him.

We shared his catch plus two more before we moved on from hunting and just concentrated on my jumping and climbing skills, now that I'd had the chance to observe—and _observe_ I had. I was more than a little turned on from seeing Edward in his element like that. If he noticed my nerves, he never said anything, and after several hours of practice, we headed back toward the house in the woods.

I had to admit, it was a lot easier to feed when I didn't have to catch it myself. It was sort of like going to the grocery store and buying packaged meat. I tried to ignore the fact that it made me dependent on him—I was still his pet if I couldn't feed myself.

"Edward?"

He looked over at me as we walked through the trees, side by side.

"You said you thought I could be happy like this." I kicked at some leaves, wondering why he was so positive I'd love being a bloodsucker when he'd never seemed particularly happy to be one. "What about you? Has being a vampire made you happy, Edward?"

We came up to cluster of two huge boulders that were dotted with seafoam-colored lichens and draped in deep green mosses, the tops of them reaching at least ten feet high. Without waiting for him to answer, I set my stance, aimed for the top of the nearest rock and jumped.

"Shit!" I muttered as I realized I'd overshot the far edge, limbs pinwheeling as I looked for a place to land. Edward appeared in front of me, and I barely kept from kicking him in the head, tucking my legs away just in time. He laughed as he set me on my feet, not leaving much room between us.

Lips curving into a sly, affectionate smile, he said, "If you'd asked me that question not too long ago, I would have had a different answer." A wisp of hair had fallen in front of my face; he tucked it behind my ear, trailing the tips of his fingers across the skin of my neck and making me shiver. "Recently, I've come to realize that becoming a vampire has made me very happy."

"Really?"

He nodded slightly, edging closer. It was then that I discovered that my vampire brain was no more resistant to Edward Cullen than my human brain had been. His closeness, that sweet yet masculine smell that never failed to set my senses on alert, the wicked glitter of those eyes, whether they glowed golden and fed or simmered like dark, molten pitch—all of it was just too much for one woman to resist.

"If I wasn't a vampire, I wouldn't have met you."

My knees wanted to dissolve right then and there, and I cursed myself for being so susceptible to him. It was useless, but I didn't have to let him know how he affected me. The phrase "all the time in the world" had never been more appropriate. Why should I rush anything?

_Right. Famous last words._

As he watched me with those bright, burning eyes, I knew that _not_ rushing into anything with Edward would be one of the hardest things I'd ever done.

.

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* * *

_I know, I'm late. I really have no excuses, other than my husband wants a lot more attention now that his shows are in reruns. I can't turn him down when he's being sweet and nice!_

_I'm hoping to get one (maybe two) more chapter out before my mother kidnaps me and turns me into her Christmas slave. Bah freakin' humbug. Maybe I should ask Santa for some writing time. Well, after my iPad, vacation home in Belize, and the ten million dollars..._

_Until next week! Oh, and I'd love some reviews for the holidays...just saying. Thank you for reading, and happy holidays to you all, no matter what you celebrate. :)_


	14. Bond Structure

_I don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended._

_As always, AmeryMarie, YogaGal and famouslyso are the awesome guinea pigs._

_Happy holidays, guys! My gift to you..._

_

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_

**-Chapter 14: Bond Structure-**

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I was the clumsiest vampire in all of existence. After a couple weeks of "Vampire Boot Camp," as I referred to it in my head, I still overshot my jumps and banged into things. I wondered if new recruits got this feeling at real boot camp—the "holy fuck what have I gotten myself into" point where you realize you're in way over your head?

The Cullens all took immense enjoyment in laughing at me—and if I had to pick one good thing about the whole situation, my ineptness at vampire Cirque de Soleil-type stuff was something of a bonding element between Edward and his estranged family members. Most of the time, he was short and curt with them, only tolerating their presence because they were useful in helping me learn to acclimate myself to this new life. But then I would trip over a leg of the coffee table, completely destroy some furniture, or knock a hole in the drywall, and they'd all laugh like a pack of hyenas.

Though it was nice, seeing them all get along, I knew he was still uncomfortable being in such close proximity to his family; their betrayal was still too fresh in his mind for him to be completely at ease in their presence. Alice and Jasper had returned from up north a few days ago, and while no one was openly hostile, Edward and Jasper stayed clear of one another, trading dirty looks whenever they passed. Alice watched them both with a sad, resigned expression that I couldn't quite figure out.

As for the little tornado herself, her visions had all but dried up, which was apparently something to be worried about in the Cullen household. They were all way too stressed about not having every possible outcome laid out for any given situation. Poor vampires didn't like it when they had to live like regular, non-psychic people for a change. I hid the twinge of satisfaction I felt when Alice revealed how uneasy she felt when she couldn't rely on her gift. To me, it seemed like karma was getting a bit of revenge for the role she'd played in imprisoning Edward. Her bars and restrictions weren't physical, weren't made of steel or any other molded alloy—they were invisible and inside her own brain.

The others lived in a state of constant caution, always waiting for some enemy or another to land on their doorstep. They lived in real fear of these Volturi people, which was something I couldn't make myself understand. I had nothing against them, but I had no desire to meet them. I'd stay out of their way if they did the same for me. Aside from whatever stir Edward had caused by taking me from that mysteriously wrecked ambulance, I would simply disappear from my old life and try to explore the new one. Making waves was not on my agenda.

There _couldn't _be that many vampires in the world, or people would definitely know about us. We couldn't number more than thousands—at the most—amongst a population of over six billion humans. There was plenty of territory to share, so why should we squabble? Of course, this pathetically simplistic way of thinking probably made me the most naïve vampire in existence, but what could be a better way to ensure stability in the species than to follow the laws of nature?

Besides, I had enough to think about. I was, for all intents and purposes, dead to the human world, but I still needed to provide shelter and clothing for myself. My new body might have been able to withstand the elements, but that didn't mean I wanted to start living like a cow at pasture or anything. I needed money and a place to live and a...a _television,_ for Christ's sake, because I'd never sleep again!

Then there was the hunting thing. Edward was all too happy to provide for me like some kind of Cro-magnon male in hunter-gatherer mode, and he had made sure I'd sampled the spectrum of the local wildlife, aside from the bipedal variety. Last night, I'd participated in the hunt for the first time since the 'antler incident,' helping to drive the prey back toward Edward for the final kill. It was a start, but nowhere near where I needed to be to feel comfortable.

We remained with the Cullens in the meantime because their home was in a more rural area, far from the city, therefore decreasing my risk of exposure to humans. Most of the time, I was very grateful for that fact—the few times I'd gotten a whiff of Eau de _Homo sapiens sapiens_ had not been the most pleasant experiences of my new life. My throat had burned like hell, and I felt like those people on _Survivor_ probably did when they saw their first buffet right at the end of their month on bumfuck island. Times ten million.

Edward turned out to be quite good at talking me down, but the first time I'd gotten too close to a human, I'd put up a pretty decent fight, and he ended up with a nasty crack in his arm. The shock of seeing that pain on his face, knowing that I could _really_ hurt him, was enough to snap me out of the bloodlust. It had scared me, and made me fully aware of how hard Edward must have had to concentrate not to hurt me when I was human. He had a scary amount of self-control.

He was also an amazing teacher—he was patient, always making sure I could relate his explanations to situations that I'd understand. Slowly, I learned how to make the best of my new talents, trying to follow Edward's instructions, using my instincts. Maybe sometime in the future I'd overcome my accident-prone tendencies, but right now, I was content knowing that at least I couldn't permanently maim myself whenever I had a "Bella" moment. Edward seemed confident that I'd eventually be the epitome of grace—it might take me fifty years—but I'd get there. He also said he couldn't wait to see my face when I realized he was right all along.

The only thing I could think of for hours after that conversation was that he wanted to be with me fifty years from now.

For hours after that, I was angry at myself for being such a _girl_.

I had severely underestimated Edward's appeal. Resisting him wasn't something I'd ever been able to do with ease, and it was becoming downright impossible. It hurt, keeping my distance from him. I missed how we'd been before—we'd talk and hold hands, share smiles, steal kisses. Then there were the small, soft touches and sweetly phrased questions, the lazy laughter, and the sometimes awkward but always thrilling glances.

I'm _such_ a girl.

We were still together all the time; however, most of our conversations were relegated to instructions and tips on how to better manage this new and improved body I now lived in. He was polite and gentlemanly, and he kept his hands to himself. While I'd been grateful for the space in the beginning, I was starting to catch myself wishing for some kind of advance from him—just one tiny little sign was all I needed. My resistance was sporting some serious foundation damage, and he knew it.

Almost three weeks after I 'woke up,' Edward and I were spending some time in the Snoqualmie National Forest, taking advantage of the extremely bright full moon and rare cloudless night. With all the Cullens in residence, the large white house in the woods was a bit crowded, and I knew I needed some time away from the others just as badly as Edward did. The night was chilly, one of the first cold snaps of fall, radiational cooling sapping away the last of the summer's warmth.

We were, yet again, working on making me a slightly less useless vampire.

"You're over-thinking it, Bella." He moved in closer, his voice lowering just the slightest bit. "Your body knows what to do. Trust your instincts."

"It's kind of hard not to think about how I'm going to hurl myself fifteen feet in the air to grab a specific tree branch," I huffed, crouching to make a go of another long, wide branch. No go.

Graceful I was not, and I landed off balance, my heels digging into the slick coating of leaf matter on the forest floor, sending me skidding on my butt. It didn't really hurt, but the impact was still jarring. It wasn't the most pleasant sensation. I didn't even want to look and see if Edward was trying not to laugh. I'd be laughing if our roles were reversed.

Hopping to my feet, I swatted at the leaves and needles that were stuck to my ass. I heard what sounded like a little groan, and caught Edward sort of biting the corner of his lower lip just a little bit, his eyes fixed on my hand as he came near. With a grin, I pivoted to give him a better view.

Resting a hand _very_ low on my back, he leaned his chin over my shoulder. "As much as I'd love to brush some more leaves off your very pretty behind, I _know_ you can do this. I have an idea. We'll have a competition of sorts."

Every cell in my body went on screaming alert. I might have even felt a phantom blush...it had been a while since we'd been this close.

By some miracle, I managed to speak without sounding like a breathless stripper. "What kind of competition?"

"A little game of chase? I'll give you a thirty second head start—"

I whirled around, putting a little distance between us. "Thirty seconds? Come on!"

"You're a vampire now. You should be able to do a lot with those thirty seconds." He arched a brow and paused, waiting to see if I'd interrupt him again. "Okay, I'll give you forty-five. Better?"

Not really, but I nodded anyway. "Better."

"Here's how it works: this boulder is the safe zone. We'll walk to a point a sufficient distance away, say...fifteen miles, and then we start the chase. If you can make it to the safe zone before I catch you, then you win."

I smiled. "Win what?"

"What do you want?" His smirk was knee-melting.

"Well, that's a brave question."

"I mean it, Bella. Anything you want."

I didn't speak for several moments, instead I searched his face for some clue to his real feelings, finding nothing. "Can I think about it and tell you later?"

"Of course," he said, relief flashing across his brow.

"One more thing."

"Yes?" He gave me a hesitant look, like maybe he thought I was backing out.

"Why can't I chase you?" I couldn't help the teasing grin that curved my lips.

He laughed suddenly, startling a pair of birds out of a nearby tree. "Really, Bella? You'd be hunting me for days. You'd never find me."

I gasped in indignation, still unused to my new capacity for the sudden influx of emotions. "You don't know that," I snapped, following as he kept laughing and started leading us away from the safe zone.

"Sure I don't." His voice was wry and low, so sexily provoking.

I didn't trust myself to speak after that, so I spent the rest of the journey plotting revenge on Edward in one form or another. I'd show him...

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-x-

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Revenge plots did me no good as I found myself wasting the first ten seconds of my precious forty-five-second head start. I should have paid better attention on the hike, been a good little vampire and cataloged my surroundings, started forming strategies—not entertaining delusional fantasies of revenge and humiliation...and maybe a tiny bit of domination on my part.

Maybe.

Fantasizing sure wasn't doing me one bit of luck now, as I ran at top speed through the brushy forest undergrowth, eying the heavy evergreen boughs that hung a few feet above my head, hoping to use one of them as a landing platform.

I'd take to the trees for several hundred yards, and then slip back down to the ground, which would hopefully throw him off my scent. Breaking up my scent trail by switching back and forth from canopy to ground just might work, but there was a problem—I had no idea where the damn safe zone was supposed to be!

"Thirty seconds, Bella!" Edward called, his voice steeped in smugness and anticipation. I chanced a quick look behind me, making sure I was out of his line of sight before I went leaping into the trees. Satisfied that I was far enough away, I focused on the trees ahead and chose a branch, easily hitting my target that time. A self-satisfied grin pulled at the corners of my mouth, and I took the time to give myself a little pat on the back for a job well done. It only took a fraction of a second with my new vampire speed.

Celebration over, I focused on finding another suitable landing spot, zeroing in on a low bough about fifteen feet away. It looked nice and sturdy, joined with a broad base at the trunk. I tried to think about how much strength I should use to make it that far, and decided I should probably approach the jump at about eighty percent.

"Fifteen seconds!" The taunting call was barely discernible now, but that only meant I wouldn't know exactly when he started after me. I couldn't help the curse that escaped from my lips, and I fumed when I thought I heard his laughter echoing after me. Focusing even harder on my target, I leapt, and I knew I was fucked before I was even halfway there—I was off-centered and coming in too low. When my fingertips scraped the underside of the branch, they took out huge gouges that exposed the tender yellow pine to the elements, a blatant signature that my clumsy ass had been there. I landed in a heap beneath the tree, my body leaving a dark, obvious rut in the soft litter that covered the forest floor.

Quickly, I got up and kicked at the mark, wishing that the slick, oily black leaf litter I'd kicked up didn't stand out so obviously against the drier top layers of compost. I knew I had to go back up, but Edward would surely see this place...maybe I could make him think I kept going on the ground. Time was running out, if it hadn't already, and I had to move fast if my plan was going to work. With quiet, efficient movements, I extended the false trail, hoping it would delay him just long enough for me to get away.

A twig snapped somewhere off to my left, and I immediately leapt into the tree above me, skirting some of the mid-level limbs, retracing my steps back to the site of my mishap. I climbed as high as I dared when I reached the scarred tree, sticking close to the trunk, thanking God I picked a boring brown sweater over that jewel-blue one for tonight's excursion. When I found a good vantage point that was well-hidden, draped in thick, shaggy boughs of coniferous needles, I waited. Edward would, no doubt, know exactly how to get back to the safe zone, and I planned on letting him lead me straight to it.

It wasn't long before he came into view, easily visible with that shock of vibrant hair and the navy-blue button-down he wore open over a bright white t-shirt and dark jeans. He paused directly below me, scanning the ground carefully, his eyes finding and fixing on the damaged limb. His visual search moved to the trees, and I felt extremely exposed, because if I could see him that well, he could surely see me...

_Don't see me. Don't see me..._

I locked up my muscles, doing the vampire statue thing; up so high in the trees, everything else seemed to freeze with me. There was nothing...no birds calling, no scampering scrape of tiny claws against shaggy bark, no sound but the soft ebb and flow of the chilly breeze. It reminded me of that heavy silence of falling snow—the one that absorbs all other sound, unnerving and beautiful in its utter lack of audible stimulus.

Down below, Edward continued to peer up at the forest canopy, finally turning his attention back to the ground and the false trail I'd so kindly laid for him. I was still afraid to move; I didn't want to knock loose any debris and clue him in to my current hiding place. My little eagle's nest turned out to be a good hiding spot, and I was able to observe him for a good half a mile before I had to follow or risk losing him. Carefully, I climbed down to the forest floor and set off in the same direction Edward had taken.

Hopefully, he'd never imagine that I might be behind him, which might offset any rookie mistakes I made. I decided to follow him on foot as far as possible, and use the trees when I needed to overtake him at the very end. Keeping a good fifty-yard distance between us, I trailed him, thinking about the advice he'd given me before the game began.

_Trust your instincts_.

What better way to do it than to pretend Edward was prey? How would I go after an animal...how would I chase a _human_, if I let myself rely on my vampire senses?

"Bella, this is chase, not hide-and-seek!" _Ooh, he's talking to himself! This should be good. _

He sounded frustrated, and I grinned, stopping as he halted next to a huge fallen log. Peering around the tree trunk I'd used for cover, I could barely make out his lanky frame, and I had to cover my mouth to stop a giggle when he raked a hand through his hair and paced once or twice.

"She wouldn't have...she couldn't have just _run_ straight there...there would be tracks," he muttered, starting to scan the trees again.

_Cold, buddy. Very, very cold. Arctic._

Leaves crunched under his feet as he slowly turned in a circle, but his eyes were aimed too high.

_Getting a bit warmer...but you're still chilly._

"There's no trail...how can she be this good already?"

I felt a little spike of pride at that, imagining I heard a little awe in that frustrated mumble.

"Not a single footprint...I don't get it..."

_Well, that's because I'm behind you, Einstein hair_.

He started forward again, pausing briefly to sniff a nearby tree trunk, and I had to stifle a snort. I didn't know what I'd do if he went full-on bloodhound on me—I wondered if he'd get on all fours and sniff the ground if he got desperate enough. He continued to move forward through the forest for a couple miles or so before he froze in his tracks and whirled around.

_Shit!_ _Did I even make any noise? _

"Clever girl," he said lowly.

I couldn't stop the single laugh that escaped. I mean, for Christ's sake...did he think I was a velociraptor? And what was more bizarre than a vampire quoting _Jurassic Park?_ Even more bizarre was the fact that my vampire brain had held on to some of the most useless things—facts that were only good for playing bar trivia or telling dirty jokes.

Edward looked right at me, drawn by my open laughter, and damn if I didn't shiver at the feeling of his eyes locking on to mine, even at a distance of more than fifty yards.

"You'd better start running," he called, just before he sped toward me in a blur of blue and bronze. I took off in a panic, darting through the thick underbrush, taking to the trees when the spindly twigs slowed my progress too much. I cleared three branches in a row before I realized I was finally getting good at this whole vampire acrobatics thing, and I wasn't thinking about _anything_ but getting away and winning—_beating_ Edward. Pausing for a second, clutching the trunk of my current tree, I listened for any sound of him crashing through the forest after me. Hearing a whisper of sound far off to my left, I shot up higher, hopefully out of sight but still low enough that I could hop to another tree without snapping the more fragile branches near the top.

Suddenly, I could hear him approaching fast, and I channeled my inner chameleon as I clung to the trunk. He stopped right under my tree; it was too late to run now—he'd spot me easily if I moved. _Keep going...don't notice me..._

I spent one agonizing second in a state of panic when he looked right at me, but his gaze kept going. _Did that really just happen? I mean, I'm almost fifty feet in the air, but did he just miss me?_

I couldn't believe my luck. _Holy shit!_

Edward moved on, scratching his head. Either I was really, _really _good at this game, or he was one of the worst trackers I'd ever seen. _If he's this bad at it, I'm surprised he hasn't starved to death! _My grin was a mile wide as I watched him leave, taking a moment to ogle his ass in those jeans. Well, as much as I could from the height of a small skyscraper. Feeling obscenely proud of myself, I lowered myself to another limb to keep him in sight, and then another. I was too busy admiring the view to notice when my sweater got snagged on a sharp twig, leaving a long rip down the side, the rending of delicate cashmere obvious as a gunshot.

Edward froze ahead of me, whirling around and spotting me easily, since I hadn't had time to hide. I was caught. "How in the _hell_ are you doing it?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I taunted, and took off. I felt like fucking Tarzan, or Jane, I guess. Edward could be Tarzan.

As soon as I started gloating to myself about my tree mastery, I screwed up, of course. I missed my next branch entirely, falling a good twenty feet to the ground. This time, I managed to land on my feet, using inertia to leap into a fast run. _This is what he meant! Just don't_ think!

I tore through the underbrush, feeling leaves and twigs and briars tearing into my clothes, tangling in my hair. Exhilarated, I pushed myself further, laughing in breathless bursts as I dodged trees and mossy, rotten logs. Spindly, feathery ferns seemed to tremble at the force of my approach, sending tiny, crystalline drops of dew falling from their green fingertips. The air was crisp, brimming with the spicy scent of crushed pine needles. I could smell the thick, sticky sap that oozed from the cracks in the bark, mixed with the sharp tang of freshly exposed cellulose where a branch or twig had the misfortune of running into my unforgiving skin.

This was...amazing.

It was Edward who snapped me out of my nature trance. Good thing he couldn't read my mind. He probably would have caught me if he'd just kept quiet.

"Sure you're going the right way?" The frustrated note was gone from his voice, and it was a lot closer than I'd thought. A quick glance to my side found him just even with me through the trees, about twenty feet away.

I was surprised to realize that I _was_ sure. As much as Edward had a scent all his own, there was also a smell I associated with us together. Sort of like when I used to wear perfume as a human—it never smelled quite the same on my body as it did straight from the bottle. I knew that the last time the two of us had walked in a path together, we were going away from the safe zone. So when I caught that scent, I followed it. By taunting me, the sneaky jerk was trying to throw me off!

"You're full of it," I muttered under my breath, making sure I was running at top speed. I had to make sure he didn't cut me off before I got back to the damn rock!

Moonlight glowed up ahead, revealing the edge of a little clearing—the same clearing that I prayed held the safe zone. Home base.

_No, can't think of that. Because that only makes me think of the _other _Home Base. _

I burst through the edge of the clearing, screaming, "Yes! I win!" as I caught sight of the big rock at the opposite side.

One second I was celebrating, and the next, Edward crashed into my side, sending us both staggering.

"Ooh, sorry, Beautiful. So close," he chuckled as his arms closed around me.

"You cheater!" Trying to recover from the jarring impact, I gave him a little push, feeling a little zing of satisfaction when he stumbled backwards a bit.

He smiled wide as he righted himself. "I was just about to say the same thing of you."

"I did not. I'm just...sneakier than you."

"How in the hell did you keep getting behind me, anyway?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're just not that observant. I swear, you looked right at me and didn't notice."

"I don't believe it," he insisted, his smile dissolving into a puzzled little scowl. It was sort of adorable, and I had to work doubly hard to make sure I stayed annoyed. He'd robbed me of sweet victory, damn it!

"You'd better believe it, because that's all you're getting—and it's all I've got," I tossed back, crossing my arms across my chest. "Maybe you're just a shitty tracker."

His mouth dropped open as he huffed out a breath, his face the picture of offended male dignity. It took him several moments to formulate a response.

"Well, this 'shitty tracker' just caught _you._"

"Oh, okay. You just ran down a big, bad, novice vampire. You should be so proud of yourself," I said, infusing my tone with the most patronizing nuances possible.

"I am," he returned, not missing a beat. Apparently, he _did_ miss the sarcasm. "Now, let's discuss my prize." A sly grin curved his lips and his eyes glinted with mirth.

"What prize? The only prize we discussed was mine...but if you're ready to admit how you cheated..." I trailed off, thinking of what I could weasel out of him to compensate for the stolen victory.

"I told you, Bella, I didn't cheat. I'm simply much faster than you could ever hope to be." A little growl escaped my throat at his taunt, but before I could formulate an appropriately snarky reply, he kept going. "Now, let's see..." He put on a huge show of considering his options, eying me up and down, tapping his index finger against that square chin of his.  
_  
_"Edward, stop it. We didn't discuss _you_ getting any prizes. Just me."

He laughed, coming to stand right in front of me. "Well, that was your mistake, wasn't it?"

"Oh, for Christ's sake...what do you want? Are you going to make me clean your underwear or something?" Well, at least there wouldn't be any skid-marks. Ugh. "You can't make me do the dishes, because we don't have any." He had so many options of torture, and he could pick any one of them. "Crap...you're not going to make me eat only skunks and beavers for a week, are you?"

"What do you want me to want?" he drawled, using that vampire voice on me.

_Oh, I know what you want me to want you to want..._

I belatedly realized that I also had a nifty vampire voice—and it definitely affected Edward. "What do you think I want you to want?" Inching closer to him, I dropped my arms, letting one hand brush his as I lowered them.

He swallowed, and I swear I heard his throat clicking. "I wouldn't dare presume to know what you're thinking, love." If he'd been human, his voice probably would have cracked.

"Smart man," I murmured, laying the sultriness on thick, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

"It takes a smart man to handle a brilliant woman." His head dropped a bit, bringing his face closer to mine. Sweet, calming breath washed over my cheeks. The golden rings of his irises warmed as he gave me an endearingly crooked smile. One hand reached for mine, fingers caressing, entwining.

"You know..." He leaned in closer, causing my breath to hitch. "Brilliant women know when smart men are patronizing them..." I didn't like the way my voice was weakening, and I was sure he could feel the way my fingers trembled against his.

"Do they?" Damn him—_his_ voice was only getting stronger, sexier. _Why does everything always backfire on me?_

I nodded. "Always."

"I see," he said, the tip of his tongue coming out to trace the contour of his lower lip.

Trying to stall for time—and fight the impulse to let my own tongue take the same path as his—I looked down, seeing the toes of his shoes touching mine. Both bore fresh scrapes and scuffs, streaks of mud splattered across the once pristine surfaces. I smiled slightly, thinking of our race to the rock today. We were always on the same path, it seemed, and we both displayed the marks of the journey. Would we always be this way?

"Bella?" he asked softly, and I lifted my gaze to his. Giving up all pretenses of keeping any distance between us, he closed the tiny gap. "I know what I want." He brushed a stray lock of hair from my face, fingers lingering to cover the side of my neck, his palm resting right where he could feel my pulse. The thought had the same effect as a bucket of cold water on my senses.

_No, not anymore...there's no more pulse._

Unable to control the way my muscles locked up, I squeezed my eyelids shut and tried to back away. His arms locked around my back, refusing to let me go, and I realized I couldn't find the strength to break free. I knew I had it in me somewhere, but...did I really want to get away?

"Bella, please...don't pull away from me," he said softly, begging me with the ragged tone of his voice, the gentle desperation in his hands, the needy pressure of his body against mine. "Please."

The last part was too soft to be heard by human ears, and perhaps that's why it struck me so. Rose's advice from my first day came flooding back. _"You hold him in the palm of your hand..."_

I could break him, if I wanted. I could tear him down and crush him into pieces with one word, one rash, careless action, and that was the last thing I wanted to do. I was still riddled with confusion, anger, and resentment, but thanks to this new life, I had room for all of those things and more—and the love I felt for him was bigger than all of those put together. Those other emotions paled in comparison.

So I stopped thinking, and did what I wanted. I pressed my lips to his, softly at first, but once I felt the firm curves of his mouth, smelled the spicy-sweet scent of his smooth skin, I couldn't hold back.

Neither could Edward, apparently. He sucked in a little breath, as if he couldn't believe I was kissing him, and then he came to life. A low, ragged moan hummed against my lips as his arms tightened around my back, fingers splaying wide, like he couldn't touch enough of me. Slowly, he walked me backwards until I felt the rough, chilled surface of the rock against my upper back. His hands wandered down around my hips, fingertips gently pressing into my flesh, cradling, squeezing. I pressed my palms to the hard plane of his chest and slid them up around his neck, threading my fingers into the soft, spiked strands of his hair.

His tongue licked over my lower lip, playing at the corner of my mouth. I couldn't seem to slow my breathing, little pants escaping as I nibbled at his lips, denying him what I knew we both wanted. His fingers played with the rip in my sweater, slipping underneath the soft cashmere to stroke along my side. I moaned softly at his touch, finally parting my lips to let him inside.

He tasted wonderful, just as I remembered, maybe even better for the days I'd gone without. If I could still dream, it would be of this... His tongue was soft and searching as it tangled with mine; his fingertips dug into my skin and he pressed me more fully against the boulder, using his whole body to touch me. The rock was cold against my back, but Edward...Edward suddenly felt blazing hot, as did every inch of my skin.

I clenched my hands into fists, pulling at his hair, thrilling to the little grunt of pain that escaped him. The sounds of our breathing, the rasp of denim across cold granite, the soft, slick slide of his lips against mine, all of it filled my ears, swelling until there was nothing but Edward and me and the ground we stood on. God, I'd missed this, missed him and the things he could make me feel. When we were lost in each other, nothing else mattered. In that moment, I understood why he'd chosen this path, and I couldn't fault him for it. And when he held me like this, I was grateful for it.

The kiss ended slowly, and he pressed soft, sweet kisses to my lips before resting his forehead to mine. Our breaths mingled, mouths almost touching as I opened my eyes to find his blazing at me, dark and searching.

"Thank you." It felt like another kiss on my lips, a hint of sweet breath on a sigh. "How did you know exactly what I wanted?"

"I didn't...it's what I wanted, too."

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* * *

_Merry Christmas to all who celebrate, and a Hanukkah shout-out to my Jewish friends. Hope you're all having a great break, whatever you celebrate. I'm exhausted, and I think I'm developing a slight headache from all the bourbon slush I had this afternoon. Time to turn into a couch zombie and find something good on the TV._

_I'd love to know what you're thinking of my little story here. Thanks for reading, and of course, I love the reviews...just saying. _


	15. Kinetics

_I own nothing but this silly little plot._

_AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal are the guinea pigs._

_Happy new year, guys! Sorry this is a little late. It was kind of hard to write over the holidays. That's all I've got._

* * *

**-Chapter 15: Kinetics-**

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Alice was waiting for us when we returned from our hunt, pacing the back deck like some kind of prowling, tiny tiger.

Grrrreat.

I snickered to myself while I pictured Alice being eaten by Tony the Tiger. It made me feel a little better about being ambushed by Edward's least favorite vampire.

"We've got a problem. Come inside, everyone's waiting."

"Tell me something I don't know, Alice," I snapped, following her into the house with Edward trailing behind me. I supposed I sounded a little bitchy, but I wasn't opposed to taking my frustration out on the resident know-it-all. Damn, dirty bear...with its damn, dirty, _tasty_ bear blood...

_God, am I actually thirsting after blood? That's fucking disgusting...yet delicious.._.

"You've got moss in your hair," she said, sniffing and rolling her eyes.

"What?" My hand went immediately to the bird's nest on top of my head, raking through the strands and sending all sorts of things from the forest falling to the plush, cream-colored carpet.

Rose laughed, covering her mouth when I shot her a dirty look. "Obviously, you didn't know about the moss, or it wouldn't be there."

"Right?" Alice joined in, smiling like the damn Cheshire Cat. I was about to grab some dirt from the floor and rub it in her perky, pretty little face when Edward spoke.

"_Obviously_, you don't know my Bella that well." His grin was sly and smug, until I turned my angry eyes in his direction. I tried to ignore the little flutter I felt at hearing him call me _his_ Bella—my inner feminist was extremely ashamed of me.

"Are you saying I'm dirty?" And to think, I was going to give him the ride of his life if that bear hadn't interrupted us...that tasty, tasty bear... _Stop!_ _You just ate an 800-pound mammal. You should _not_ be hungry!_

Edward's smirk all but disappeared as he backpedaled. "No, not at all, love. I meant that you're not particularly self-aware at times."

"Yeah, yeah, cover your ass, buddy," Emmett chortled, looking like he'd never seen a situation more entertaining. "You'll never get any if you keep saying things like that."

"What makes you think he's _ever_ going to get any, and why would that be any of your business?" Edward immediately scowled at my words, sending Emmett into an even bigger laughing fit.

He pointed at all the forest litter on the carpet. "Hello—_both_ of you have the sex hair, not to mention all those stow-aways you just shook out of your head. It's not hard to tell when someone's been rolling around on the ground."

I pointed at Edward. "_He's_ always got the sex hair, and we were _hunting."_ Edward caught my eye, and damn it if he wasn't giving me a disbelieving little smirk. I really wished he could read my mind at that moment, because he'd know to shut the hell up if he ever wanted to put those smirky lips on me again. At least I was pissed-off enough to offset the female equivalent of blue balls I had going on from our little tryst at the rock.

God, why did that bear have to come along just when I'd convinced myself it was okay to let Edward rip my clothes off?

"So _that's_ what the kids call it these days," Emmett said, settling in on the couch, his eyes darting back and forth between the two of us, looking for all the world like he'd be right at home with a giant bowl of popcorn and a pair of 3-D glasses.

Esme and Carlisle chose this moment to come downstairs and, if I wasn't mistaken, it looked like they'd been doing a little of what the others were accusing Edward and me of doing in the woods. I would never get used to this whole lack of privacy thing. Why in the world would people do it when there were at least four others in super-vampire hearing range?

It was really weird. And really wrong, unless they were into the over-sharing thing. Or were members of some kind of vampire porn ring.

"Okay, okay." Alice interrupted my train of thought, waving her hand in front of my face. I wanted to slap it off, and I thought I heard Edward growl a bit. _Aww, sometimes I really loved his protectiveness._ "As much fun as it is to torment the new couple," she continued, "we have a bit of a problem, which we're going to have to deal with—and soon."

Everyone else took a seat around the living room, while I remained standing. Sitting wasn't really something I felt the need to do anymore, now that I was undead and all. I knew it was good to keep in practice with the human tics and tendencies, but right now, it seemed so...useless. Edward remained standing by my side, but I tried not to think about why that made me happy.

I was obviously an idiot.

Carlisle leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, steepling his fingers together. "Bella, do you remember a human named Tyler Crowley?"

This time, I definitely heard a growl from beside me—Edward wasn't happy about that name. It sparked a fuzzy sort of distaste in the back of my mind, and I got the image of shaggy blond hair and dull blue eyes...and polo shirts. With alligators on them. Yeah, that was Tyler. What had I ever seen in him?

"He's an ex," I answered, casting a side-eyed glance at Edward, who was looking at Carlisle, wearing his mind-reading face. His jaw was tense, and his lip curled a little bit.

"You're kidding me," Edward burst out, before starting to pace in front of the cold hearth. "That lying bastard."

"What? Hello, non-mind-reader over here," I grumbled, getting impatient with the way everyone but _me_ seemed to know_ everything_.

"That little snake is fucking delusional, that's what. I should have killed him when I had the chance..."

"There's no use in getting angry, Edward," Esme said quickly. "We'll figure out how best to deal with this..._situation_."

I let out a little huff of frustration. "Will someone please tell me what's going on? God, you people are annoying with your _special_ vampire gifts! You know, there's another word for 'special' among humans—it's 'retarded'."

_Oh, shit...that wasn't exactly politically correct._

"Tyler has been talking to the media," Edward said, ignoring my comment. _I knew there was a reason I loved him...besides the fact that he's insanely attractive. And sweet...shit._ "He's eating up all the attention, saying you two were still together."

I laughed, wondering why this was such a big problem. "So let him talk. He's just trying to get laid. He wants to play the sympathy card. 'Oh, poor me, my girlfriend got mauled by a cougar and disappeared, will you give me a blowjob'?" I mocked. "Why are we worried again?"

"The problem is that your 'boyfriend' gave the police a very detailed description of Edward and insists that he's responsible for your disappearance," Jasper said flatly, finally breaking his code of silence. "The composite is pretty damning. It's definitely him."

I sighed. "Fuck."

"Yep," Emmett agreed, nodding blithely.

"Does this mean I can kill him now?" Edward asked.

"Unfortunately not," Carlisle answered, which made Edward scowl even deeper. "That would only draw even more attention to your...predicament."

"That's not all," Alice added, and I knew this was about to get a lot worse. "With my um..._block_ lately, there's no way for us to know if the Volturi are watching this closely. But I think it's pretty safe to guess that if this gets any more attention...they'll be coming."

"All the more reason to silence him," Edward said, his jaw tense, his brows taking on that obstinate slant I was beginning to know so well. He caught me watching him and flashed me a tight smile. "Sorry."

I didn't know what to say to that. What the hell was the appropriate response when someone decides assassination is the answer? "As much as I dislike Tyler, I think Carlisle is right. If he's insinuated himself into the case, we can't get rid of him. His disappearance would draw too much attention to an already hot story."

"You know, if he keeps sticking his nose into everything, maybe the police will start to suspect _him_, if they haven't already," Emmett offered.

"Good point, Emmett," Edward agreed, though he didn't look happy about it. "Though I'm still not sure if we can afford to wait for the police to decide to pin this on Tyler."

Emmett grinned, throwing an arm around Rose's shoulders. "Well, what do you know. Looks like watching T.V. pays off. Thank you, Dr. Reid."

Rose laughed and patted him on the arm. "What would we do without _Criminal Minds_?"

"So, what do we do in the meantime?" I asked, looking to Edward. He came to stand in front of me, and I resisted the impulse to check behind him to see if he'd worn a hole in the floor with all of his pacing. "I don't want this thing with Tyler to impact my parents any more than it already has."

"We'll figure it out, Bella. I promise I won't let that little piss-ant torment us. There are plenty of ways we can lead the humans astray."

"I just want this to be over with," I sighed, wondering when I would start to feel more settled. Ever since I'd changed, this life had been nothing but one rush of emotion after another, and I was eager to just…_be_.

"It will be, before you know it," he promised, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips.

I wasn't so sure.

-x-

That evening, after changing out of our damaged clothes, Edward and I sat nestled together on the couch, enjoying the peace and quiet in the media room. The Cullens were off hunting somewhere, doing whatever it was that they did when they wanted to give us privacy. We made sure to watch the news, both of us hoping there would be no mention of me or Tyler. I was both dreading and hoping to see a clip of my parents, though the media had been using the same tired segment since the beginning. Part of me wanted to see fresh video of Charlie and Renee. I wanted to see that they weren't wasting away...I mean, they hadn't been the most attentive parents when I was growing up, but they loved me. They would be able to move on, wouldn't they?

We were twenty-four minutes and thirty-seven seconds into the newscast when we saw it. Tyler was there—artificially whitened teeth and artfully highlighted blond locks and all—spouting some drivel about how he'd been afraid I was in trouble.

_"This guy just insinuated himself into her life right under my nose. It was like he brainwashed her or something. And he was strong—I'm telling you, he was like a freaking mutant—some kind of X-Man!"_

I sighed when the composite rendering of Edward appeared on the screen, and though it didn't do him justice, the likeness was unmistakable. "Is it bad that I sort of wish you _had_ killed him when you had the chance?"

He laughed softly, smirking, shifting a bit closer to me on the couch. His hand landed just above my knee, his fingers rubbing over the inner seam of my jeans.

"Believe me, I wanted to kill him for what he was thinking, but I draw the line at committing murder on the first date."

His touch was driving me insane, and not because he was being inappropriate. His hand remained firmly on my knee, and I wanted it higher, damn it. Even though I was supposed to be paying attention to the news broadcast (because apparently, staying ahead of the human authorities and news outlets was super-duper important), I couldn't stop thinking about kissing Edward in the forest. He'd been so intense...he hadn't held back, letting me feel his need in the firm grasp of his fingers and the sensual scrape of his teeth on my lips.

_"In the meantime, Ms. Swan's parents aren't giving up the search for their daughter. They've offered a fifty-thousand dollar reward for information leading to the successful recovery of Isabella Swan..."_

I immediately snapped out of my selfish memories, struck with a cloud of guilt. A still of my parents ran on the screen, but at least it was a new one I hadn't seen before. I was relieved to see that they didn't look worn-down or haggard, just determined and a little sad. They stood shoulder to shoulder, a united front in the tragedy of their daughter's disappearance. I was so busy looking at their faces that I almost missed the most important thing.

"Look, they're holding hands," Edward whispered, keeping his voice low so we could hear the television as well. I caught one tiny glimpse of it, just a fraction of a second before they cut back to the news anchor, but it was enough.

My chest hurt, a bittersweet pain that made me want to cry, like a vague memory of the sting of welling tears. I had no other outlet for the sadness, so I leaned into Edward's side, wrapping my arms around his waist. He tucked me under his arm and kissed the top of my head as he returned my hug.

A spark of hope flared somewhere inside me when I thought of my parents' joined hands, and I wondered if the loss of their daughter would bring Charlie and Renee back together. It had always been a secret wish of mine, just as it had for many children of divorced parents. Call me a sappy romantic, but if they couldn't have me anymore, maybe they could have each other.

"Are you all right?" Edward questioned gently, one hand coasting up and down my upper arm.

"Yeah...just sad. I wish..." Trailing off with a sigh, I just looked up at him and shrugged.

"I wish you could, too, Bella. I'm sorry that you lost them..."

"They would have lost me anyway," I said, repeating the fact I'd been telling myself almost since I'd woken up. "But we're forgetting about Tyler and that sketch. I'd rather figure out what to do about the stupid media, anyway. Talking about my parents makes me depressed."

"I'm cooped up in this house for a good while, I suppose," he sighed, looking none too pleased. "That's an exceptionally good composite. It would only be a matter of time before I'm recognized if I go anywhere public. If I'm linked to your disappearance and they search my home, they may find your DNA. I've cleaned since you were there last, but if they found anything...it wouldn't be good for me. Of course, I can break out of any jail, but that would draw even more attention to the case."

"So we stay in," I said, testing out the options in my head. "We could go to your place on Fox Island—"

"It's too populated," he cut in, shaking his head. "Do you want to risk killing someone? Again, more suspicious activity in this area for the Volturi to consider."

He had a point. I wasn't sure what I'd do around humans for any significant length of time yet. I might be able to handle it for a few hours at a time, but not any longer until I knew what it was like.

"You're going to have to leave, aren't you?" Saying the words made my still chest ache, and when I thought of not seeing him, I felt lost. He was the last link I had to my former life, and I didn't think I could bring myself to let him go.

_Right, Bella. It's not because you love him or anything._

"I think it's the best temporary solution," he agreed, watching me with shrewd eyes. "Carlisle owns property in South America, which he's offered for the duration. Once I'm gone, there would be no remaining ties between me and the Cullens, so they should be safe from scrutiny. It will also leave them free to lead the police in a different direction." He paused, noticing my silence. "What's wrong?"

"You're going to leave me…with _them?_"

"Of course not! I'd never leave you." Reaching up, he pushed a strand of hair away from my face, his fingertips lingering on my cheek. "I want you to come with me," he said softly, a small, insecure smile curving his lips. He looked so young in that moment, so nervous, like a boy asking the girl of his dreams for a date. "Unless…you want to stay here?"

I tried not to think too hard about the relief I felt knowing that he wanted me with him. "No, Edward. If you go, I go." The grin that dominated his face was blinding. "I mean, _I'm_ pretty recognizable here, too, since I'm the one who vanished without a trace." His smile faltered and his eyes dulled just a bit at my words.

"Of course," he said, his expression taking a closed-off cast. "If you truly disappear from the area, you won't have to worry about anyone recognizing you when you can move amongst the humans again." Fixing his gaze on the television, he fell silent, shifting away from me.

"Edward, I _do_ want to go with you. I trust you…you're the _only_ person I can trust," I told him, reaching out to touch his hand.

"But can you forgive me?" he asked, his voice low and desolate. When he turned to me, his golden eyes were dim, but he turned his hand palm up under mine, lacing our fingers together.

"Edward…" I sighed, not really knowing how to answer. Thanks to my new, volatile nature, the feelings I had for him eclipsed the anger and resentment that had been so overwhelming in the beginning. Lately, it was getting easier and easier to let go of my human regrets, and every day I spent with him only brought us closer. Yet, when I saw my parents in a random news clip or read of some new false lead in my disappearance, it was all brought right back to the forefront. Even then, it never lasted long, but those moods were always enough to make me try to distance myself from him.

And I didn't like it any more than he did.

"I literally can't imagine what I'd do if I lost you," he confessed, tentatively stroking a finger across the back of my hand. "It was so selfish of me, to condemn your parents and friends to feel what I was too cowardly to imagine. I knew you'd be furious with me for changing you when we'd never discussed it. In the end, I chose to keep you with me and, in turn, took you away from your human life.

"I'm not strong—I couldn't go back to a solitary existence when I'd only just found you. While I'm sorrier than I can ever say for the things I took from you, I'll never be sorry you're with me."

My throat hurt, a pain that was almost worse than the burn of hunger, and it was hard to swallow, reminding me of the tightness of impending tears. I was speechless in the face of his devotion and more than a little scared. His feelings were so intense; the very idea of the magnitude of what he felt for me was frightening.

I was coming to realize my own feelings for him ran just as deep. Nothing was as terrifying as losing him. If only I could stop feeling so guilty…

"Bella?" he questioned, looking worried. I realized I hadn't said a word in minutes, and truthfully, I still didn't know what to say. He watched me like I held his world in my hands, and maybe I did. More than once, he'd told me I was his reason for existing, and I was coming to realize that he might be mine. He was here, I was here, and we'd be walking this earth forever. There was nothing I could do to change the facts. He'd saved me when I would have died, given me a new life.

"What's there to forgive, Edward?" I said softly, my voice tight. "I know I blamed you at first, but you didn't have a choice anymore than I did. I was dying…"

"It would have killed me, too. Not physically, but I…" he paused and shook his head, refusing to say more, and it was okay. I knew what he was trying to convey. Disentangling his hand from mine, he pulled me into his lap and rested his forehead against my own. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," I whispered, barely more than mouthing the words. He let out a shuddering sigh in response, his body relaxing against mine, the tension evaporating from his frame. One of his hands came up to my face, a long finger tracing the curve of my cheekbone as we watched each other, content just to feel the way we fit together so perfectly.

Soon, my hands began to wander, my palms itching with the need to feel his skin. I trailed them down the contours of his chest, heading right for the hem of his t-shirt. He stiffened when I touched his bare skin, his shirt gathering at my wrists as I raised my arms.

"Bella, what—"

I gave him a kiss, nipping at his lips, effectively silencing his half-hearted protest. "I want you." Pulling back just a bit, I met his eyes, which were beginning to darken at the edges, and I knew it wasn't from hunger.

Those long lashes fluttered against his cheeks, denying me that expressive, molten gaze. "I'll give you anything," he said raggedly, raising his arms so I could strip the shirt over his head. When it was gone, my searching fingers brushed against his fly, and his hand suddenly covered mine.

"I want you," I whispered again. Starting at his chin, I pressed a line of kisses down his throat, pausing to rub my lips over the smooth bulge of his Adam's apple. I dipped my tongue into the divot at the base of his neck, tasting his skin, loving the smooth texture. Below, he dropped his hand and placed it at the curve of my waist. I went for his fly again; he didn't object this time, his stomach muscles clenching as I lowered the zipper. The rasp of the metal teeth was loud, and sent a little corresponding thrill down my spine. His eyes were open now, but just barely, no color but black discernible between the fringes of his lashes. I was mesmerized as he wet his lips, his breathing getting louder as I spread the jeans open, peeling the sides away. He was right there, just in front of me; I swear I felt my palm start to warm at the thought of holding him in my hand, but I delayed just a little longer.

"Bella, not here," he said raggedly, once again placing his hand over mine.

"Why?"

"I don't want our first time together to be here, in this house. I just…I can't…"

"Shh," I breathed, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. "It's okay. We won't." Pressing a soft kiss to his lips, I ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm myself down. But God, it was so soft…and so perfectly grabbable…shit, it wasn't working. "Can I touch you?"

He groaned softly, brushing his nose along mine. His eyelashes fluttered, lids rising to reveal huge, black pupils and golden light. "Yes, Bella...please, touch me."

With a tiny smile, I put my palm to his hip, stroking my fingertips over his smooth skin. Slowly, I climbed off his lap and sank to my knees, watching him the whole time. A little thrill of feminine power washed through me when he swallowed heavily and shook his head as if to clear it. _I _could make him feel good…only me. It was all so overwhelming, yet I welcomed it. Wanted more of it.

I trailed my fingertips through the soft hair that grew in a line beneath his navel, admiring the way it darkened to a russet-brown as my explorations ventured lower. He was staring again, eyes intense and piercing, and I had to look away. I rested my forehead on his hipbone and felt the length of him brush against my hair and cheek. Blowing out a gentle breath against his skin, I gripped the base, wrapping my fingers around and squeezing. Lifting my head, I held him against my lips, running my tongue over the tip, tracing the ridge just below. Slowly, I took him into my mouth; up and down, wet and slick, my hand helping to make up for what wouldn't fit.

He moaned loudly and said an alarming number of curse words, his hand coming up to stroke back the hair that had fallen in a curtain over my face. It was all I could do not to smile, but my mouth was quite busy at the moment.

"Fucking hell," he panted. I looked up to find him watching, his eyes darkly dilated, lids hooded and heavy with pleasure. One shaking hand kept stroking over my hair, almost like he was petting me. It was only when his fingers wandered to the nape of my neck that I realized what he was after. With one swift tug, he ripped the shirt off my back, my bra flying across the room along with it.

I was the one moaning when he cupped my breast in his hand, trapping the nipple between his fingers. Hearing the way he responded to my enthusiasm had heat building between my legs until I couldn't stand it. I knew I'd be wet if I touched myself, and once the thought popped into my head, it was all I could think of. Well, besides the taste and texture of Edward's cock in my mouth. I'd never really been this bold before, but I felt like I could do anything with this man, because he was mine, and we'd both love it. Before the thought was even finished, my free hand was between my legs underneath the layers of denim and cotton, fingers stroking over slick flesh, circling, rubbing.

"Oh, God, your mouth..." He was out of breath, like he'd been holding it, chest working and ab muscles flexing. My mouth watered even more, and Edward's hips started moving just the slightest bit. He grunted softly as I flicked my tongue over the underside of his shaft, and he let go of my nipple to wind both hands in my hair. Lower, I was getting close, my clit slick and sensitive, swollen and ready.

"Bella...I'm...oh, fuck." He started tugging at my hair, trying to pull my head away before he came. I was forced to abandon my imminent orgasm to keep him from succeeding, taking advantage of my newborn strength to pin his hands to his abdomen with one of mine. He didn't put up much of a protest when he realized what I wanted, anyway. I wanted him to come apart, wanted to know how it would feel to make his knees weak and his toes curl.

I took him as deep as I could, bobbing my head and using my other hand, slicking venom all over the length of him. His hips twitched and then he went rigid, a loud moan falling from his lips as he came. I let his hands free as I drank him down, stroking and licking until he begged me to stop. Edward stretched his legs out in front of him and pulled me up to straddle his lap, catching my hand in his and bringing it to his mouth. He laid a tender kiss on my knuckles, sucking in a rough breath when he encountered the slick evidence of my solo activity.

"You touched yourself?" he asked, his voice gravelly and low. "That's so sexy... Did you make yourself come?" I felt his words between my legs, making it very apparent that I hadn't been as fortunate in the orgasm department as Edward.

"Almost," I admitted, pressing my face into the crook of his neck. It came out hushed, but it was still audible above the drone of the television in the background.

"May I touch you?" he breathed, taking my earlobe between his lips. I nodded, pressing my mouth to his skin, just feeling the smooth texture against my lips. He helped me to stand so he could strip me of the rest of my clothes; when he was finished, he drew me back down over his lap. Holding my legs wide open with his thighs, he started with tiny circles over my swollen clit, his fingertip sliding easily through my wetness. I tensed, pleasure winding, coiling deep in my belly. As sensation built, I pressed the edge of my teeth to the tendon outlining his shoulder, every fiber of my being focused on the spot where his fingers played me.

I was almost there when he stopped, flicking his finger over my burning, needy flesh once more before dragging it lower to rub at my lips. The orgasm receded until I was left strung tighter than before, empty and wanting. Two of his fingers probed at my entrance, and I was so turned on that they slid over and around with ease. He groaned softly and traced a hot line up and down, coating himself in me.

"You're so soft." He laid a tender kiss on the base of my neck. "Still so warm...I can't wait to feel you stretched around me."

"Yes," I breathed out as he finally penetrated me, doing something absolutely magical with a mere twist of his wrist and a curl of his fingers. The sweet, pulsing knot of pleasure was back instantly, my body bowing toward his as I clutched at his shoulders, kneading the strong tendons and muscles that subtly flexed with his movements.

"You like that, don't you?" I felt it against my skin more than heard his question, as he gently kissed and sucked behind my ear. I just nodded, pressing my open mouth to the base of his neck, breathing in pants because I couldn't figure out how to deal with the pleasure any other way. Edward laughed softly and began circling the pad of his thumb over my clit in accompaniment to his talented fingers, and I came hard, moaning aloud as he hummed his approval in my ear. "I'd do that all day if you'd let me."

"It might kill me," I said, letting out a little exhausted laugh as we rearranged ourselves into a more comfortable position, with me resting sideways in his lap. We sat in a daze on the couch, too tired to move, even with the threat of all the Cullens returning and finding us naked in their media room. If they were smart, they'd stay the hell away, or the resident newborn would kick all their sparkling asses.

Edward said nothing, and an awkward silence fell over us both. I realized he was afraid any comment he made might set me off, as my immortality was still a bit of a touchy subject. And I had just joked about it—without feeling sad. Well, until now...but I didn't want to let that ruin what we'd just shared.

"It might be interesting to let you try, though," I joked quietly, grinning when I saw the small smile that pulled at the corner of his mouth. "Good thing I'm pretty much indestructible now…but what a way to go." He smiled fully at that, and it was just a little bit evil. Nothing innocent about it. I was ready to go all over again.

Damn Cullens and their house...I couldn't wait until we got to South America.

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* * *

_So I want to take a little bit of your time to pimp out what promises to be an awesome contest - The High Times Contest, hosted by Yoga_Gal and angstgoddess003. I mean, it combines Twilight and weed. Yes. Ganja. I'm ridiculously excited about it. I'm starting my entry any day now. Really. I mean it. Just as soon as I stop procrastinating. _

_I'll shut up now and post the link. Come on, authors, give them a little 420 action. I can't wait to read all the entries!_

**High Times Contest - http:/ www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net / u / 2685261 /**

Leave me lots of comments to read when I get back from the Bahamas, please! (Even if it's just to bitch me out for going somewhere warm in the dead of winter.) Hopefully I can churn out some good stuff for you guys while I'm sunbathing. ;)

As always, thanks for reading and reviewing! It makes my day.


	16. Law of Mass Action

_AmeryMarie, Yoga_Gal and famouslyso are the guinea pigs. I fiddled with this one before posting; any errors are mine._

_So, yeah, it took a while for me to update. Who knew a vacation=writer's block for me?_

_I still don't own Twilight._

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**-Chapter 16: Law of Mass Action-**

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The morning before we were set to leave for Brazil, Edward found me in the woods behind the Cullen house, resting against the rock we'd designated as the safe zone the day of our race. The day I'd finally let him back into my heart. It was silly, but I'd miss the stupid thing, and wished we could take it with us. Leave it to me to be the only vampire in existence who wanted a pet rock.

"I wondered if I'd find you here," Edward said, startling me. No crunch of leaves signaled his approach; he was always so good at creeping up on me, even when I was on the lookout for him. Maybe it was like he was always sort of _there_ with me anyway.

It was either that, or I was a really crappy vampire. _I'm smart enough to realize the latter is probably the case._

Smiling up at him, I patted the ground next to me. He dropped down gracefully, tentatively reaching over to grasp my hand in his. There were times when he was so unsure, so gentle with me, so tentative, as if he was still afraid I'd change my mind and leave. Since I'd admitted I still loved him, he begged to hear it often, and every time I let him have the words, he'd smile just like it was the first time he'd ever heard them. It never failed to send a little twinge of guilt straight through my still heart along with the thrill I got from knowing he loved me that much.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice soft and concerned. I met his eyes, glowing golden from our many recent hunts, and shrugged. There wasn't really anything wrong...I just still felt sort of lost, though every day I became more and more grounded in my new life. Energy that always hummed between us took on a more and more awkward tone, and I fixed my gaze on the woods beyond, trying to decipher what I was really feeling.

One would think it would be easy to pinpoint the source of a particular emotion when one had an infinite capacity for them, but it only made things more difficult for me. I was constantly bombarded with too much sensory information, and though I was learning to handle it, sometimes it still became uncomfortable. The silence grew, forming an invisible barrier between us, and I could feel him stiffening beside me, hardening into the Edward statue I still hated, even though I understood it.

"Are you...are you rethinking your decision to come with me?" The question was soft, but there was no mistaking the tight worry that laced his words.

"No! Of course not!" Frustrated, I laid my head in my hands, covering my face as I growled out loud. _If only you could read me, Edward... _

"It just seems like every time I get used to something, another thing changes, and I have to start all over again. You're the only constant I have left... Sometimes I wish you _could_ just read my mind and get it over with. Maybe you could help me figure it out." I half laughed, half sighed as I raised my head to find him watching me with awe and disbelief on his face, his eyes burning with a new light, a golden fire that literally gave me goose bumps. "What is it?"

"I've spent decades hating what I am, hating my constant nature. I've been unchanging for over a century, but I've never been grateful for it, until now. I want to be constant for you...because ever since that day on the ferry, you've been the one thing I never wanted to change. You've been _my_ constant. And to hear you say the same thing..." He let out a breath, looking deeply into my eyes, his hand reaching out to brush back a lock of hair that had fallen over my shoulder. "It's everything to me. _You're_ everything." It was too much—the moment, his gaze, his touch; all of it. I shut my eyes out of a sudden need to ground myself, absorbing the emotions so they wouldn't chew me up and spit me out.

_You're my everything, too._

I couldn't make myself say the words yet, but I hoped he knew it just the same. When I felt like I could open my eyes again, I found him regarding me with the strangest expression—eyebrows quirked in question, yet there was excitement and joy written on his face.

"What? Do you smell mountain lion or something?" I looked around, sniffing the light breeze that blew through the trees. Mountain lion actually sounded pretty damn good—since I met my human end at the claws of one. I was sure I'd feel guilty after I had a taste, but I just wanted one...for revenge. After all, I was higher on the food chain now.

He snapped out of it, and if I wasn't mistaken, he actually snorted with laughter. "No, Bella." His pupils dilated as he watched me for a moment, reminding me of the way he looked when he read people, but it was gone in a moment. "Are you getting hungry? You might want to hunt well now, because while there are plenty of rats and chickens where we're going, it might be a while before you'll get a taste of a predator again." I didn't miss his quick change of subject, but the thought of drinking rat blood was disgusting enough to help me let it slide.

"Only rats and chickens?" I asked weakly, frowning and probably looking like I'd just sampled one of the subjects of our discussion.

"I'm afraid so," he replied with a sly grin, and I hoped that meant he was only teasing me. That hope faded as soon as he started to explain. "As you know, we'll be on a small island just off the coast of Brazil. We have to be very careful not to deplete the island of it's resident predators—otherwise, it would become overrun with the lower residents of the food chain."

"Thus throwing off the entire ecological balance of the island," I finished for him, suddenly not really looking forward to our island vacation nearly as much as I had been before.

His lips twitched and he looked away, his shoulders shaking almost imperceptibly. Hitting him lightly on his bicep, I gave him a dirty look.

"What?" His tone was all innocence, but his expression was one-hundred percent evil. Handsome evil, but still... "Okay, okay. There _is_ a rather large population of capybaras that needs culling. They're the largest animal on the island and they're not too awful, but you'll still want to fill up before we leave. It's still too much of a risk to take you to the mainland to hunt for a while."

"Capys? I'm not eating capys! They're adorable!" I yelled, jumping to my feet before I even realized what I was doing. Fuck. I thought I was getting a hold of these newborn mood swings.

He laughed as he got to his feet and took my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. "You won't eat the world's largest rodent because you say it's adorable, but you'll eat mountain lion? Your _favorite_ animal?"

"A capy didn't rip me to pieces." I huffed, trying to pull my hand from his, but he wouldn't let go. "Plus, you were right. The predators taste a lot better."

"Wait, what?" His mouth opened and closed, and he reminded me of a fish. He clutched his chest with his other hand, pretending to grasp his cold, dead heart. "Did you just say I was _right?_"

Instead of responding, I rolled my eyes and squeezed the hand entwined with mine until he winced. "You're lucky I didn't rip it off."

"Temper, temper..." he taunted, and I squeezed harder—until I heard a crunch. _Oops._ "Oww, fine, I take it back!"

I immediately let him go. "Shit, I'm sorry!"

"God, I'll be glad when you start to weaken." He tried to sound mad, averting his face while he gingerly rubbed his hand, but I could see the smile pulling at one corner of his mouth.

Needing to make it up to him, I stuck my hand out and screwed my eyes shut tightly. "Here, you can do it to me." He didn't move to take me up on the offer, and I cracked open one eye.

"I'd never hurt you, Bella." He sounded almost angry that I'd even suggest it.

"Okay, fine. I was just offering you payback. See if you get another chance!"

"Oh, I'll take payback, but there are many other things I'd choose before hurting you. I'm not a volatile newborn." I chose to ignore the slightly patronizing latter comment. "I believe that diet of rats just might be enough punishment. I'll certainly enjoy watching you deal with _that_."

Like he didn't enjoy watching me any chance he got. Peeping Edward was Tom's much better-looking, sneakier brother. He was such a smug ass...and he loved the reactions it got from me. He loved to tease and I loved it when he teased me, though we both knew I pretended to be annoyed. This time it wasn't exceptionally hard, given the situation.

I had to choke back a gag and a shudder at the thought. Ugh. Rat blood...not to mention how I'd loved those cute white lab rats in college...shit, I couldn't eat rats either! As thoughts of starvation ran through my head, I suddenly wondered how he'd even get me to South America without endangering a plane full of humans.

"Are we running to Brazil? Walking? Driving across the Panama Canal?" I blurted, getting impatient when I saw the confusion crease his face.

"No...why?"

"Aren't you afraid I'll eat everyone on the plane?"

Comprehension dawned and wrapped an arm around me, tucking my body against his side. "There won't be anyone on the plane for you to eat, love."

"We've got a private jet?" I nearly squealed, making myself calm down when I realized I was close to acting like Alice. Yuck.

"We do," he answered, leading me deeper into the forest to begin our hunt.

"But what about the pilot?" Did they have scent-proof cockpits?

"You're looking at him."

"_You're _flying the plane?" If my mouth opened any wider, my jaw would be hitting the floor.

"Sorry, John Travolta was busy," he joked. "I think he's flying Oprah's entire audience to Australia or something."

Edward was going to fly the plane.

Edward was going to fly. The. Plane. It was almost too much for my poor lady bits to handle. Watching him in the cockpit, seeing him capably handle the instrumentation with those long fingers; it was going to be worth almost every minute of his cocky behavior...

"Bella?" He waved a hand in front of my face, looking concerned. "Bella? Is something wrong?"

I blinked several times, but it did nothing to get rid of the scenes running through my brain. _Oh, Edward...if only you could read my mind now_. Clearing my throat, I managed to squeak out a no.

"Nothing's wrong."

"I assure you, love, I'm perfectly qualified to pilot the plane if that's what you're worried about." He tapped his temple and gave me a cocky smile. "Vampires never forget, you know."

"Like elephants?" The question earned a shake of his head.

"_Better _than elephants."

And that was all it took to make my traitorous, perverted brain to start thinking about his...trunk. I had a feeling we wouldn't get much hunting done on this outing...and if we did, I'd be hunting man—er, vampire.

.

-x-

.

While Edward closed up the house on Fox Island, I stayed behind with the Cullens and packed my things, with Rose's help. Alice had tried to horn her way in, but Esme and Rose somehow talked her out of bothering me. If I hadn't liked them before, I certainly did after that. Alice was pushy and a know-it-all, qualities I'd never particularly appreciated in a person. Compounded with what I knew about the role she'd played in driving Edward away from his family, I was less than inclined to sit around pretending I'd miss her when we were gone.

"You should have seen Alice's face when I told her I already went shopping without her," Rose said, not bothering to hide her laugh. "I thought she was going to explode!" She held up a pair of black patent-leather heels that had to be at least five inches high. I doubted I could walk in them, even with my new vampire skills.

"Rose, I don't need more clothes. With all the shit you think I should be taking, it's like Edward and I are never coming back!" I loved nice clothes as much as the next normal girl, but this was getting ridiculous. We still weren't sure if it was safe for me to be around humans yet, so it wasn't like Edward would be taking me out on the town. Plus, I planned on being naked as much as possible while in South America.

There were plenty of things we could do on our own. Without clothes. And horizontal. Or vertical...

"I know; I just wanted to rattle Alice," Rose admitted, shooting me a sly glance. I couldn't help but grin; tormenting the little psycho psychic was quickly becoming one of my favorite pastimes. She deserved it, in light of what she'd done to Edward.

I was glad to be getting away from the Cullens, even though I'd miss Rose and Emmett. For some reason, it was easier for me to forgive them, maybe because they had no gifts of their own. With Emmett and Rose, what you saw was what you got. There weren't any sneaky undertones or mysterious workings with them, and that made me feel like I was on an even playing field.

She finished up with the packing by adding some kind of lingerie contraption that would have made me turn the color of a black cherry if I'd been human, but when she reminded me that it was Edward's opinion that counted, I decided the embarrassment would be worth it.

"I think I might miss you a little, Rose," I told her. She was the closest female friend I had since I'd become a vampire, and while Edward was the only one I truly needed, I wanted friends. I wanted to feel normal—as I could be, anyway. Rose knew what it was like to be shoved into this world, and I felt a kinship with her.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm so flattered at such a heartfelt declaration."

"I mean it. Mostly." I couldn't keep the snicker from my voice.

"Well, I just might miss you, too."

We worked together silently after that, the atmosphere easy and lighthearted, for the most part. No matter how much I liked Rose, I still couldn't put the past out of my mind. I had to know what went on before Edward left the family. Although I wanted to hear it from Edward, he wasn't ready—and I didn't want to disturb the fragile happiness we'd begun to build.

Now I had the chance to find out something, _anything,_ if I would only take it. Trying to muster up the courage, I fidgeted and paced while Rose flitted in and out of the closet. She kept giving me curious looks but kept working, until she finally sighed and stopped.

"What?"

"I want to know what happened," I rushed out, hating that I sounded so unsure.

"What happened when?" She refused to make eye contact, and I knew she had a pretty good idea what I was talking about. I had the feeling everyone in the Cullen house was waiting for me to press this issue, but Rose was the only one I felt comfortable enough with to have this conversation.

"Tell me about what happened with Edward. You know..._before_."

Her eyes closed off as she turned to drop something else into the suitcase. "It's not my story to tell."

I gritted my teeth, getting sick and tired of the runaround they were so good at giving me. "You were there, weren't you? Part of this family?"

"Yes." It was short, clipped.

"Don't give me that Rosalie statue shit," I snapped, tossing the shirt I'd been folding onto the bed.

"'Rosalie statue'?" she laughed. At least she was looking at me.

"You know what I mean. You all get these frozen features when you're upset. It pisses me off."

"You do it too!"

"Irrelevant!"

"You really should ask Alice. Or Edward."

"Edward doesn't want to talk about it, and I don't want to ask Alice, damn it! I don't trust her," I admitted. I wasn't entirely sure I trusted Rosalie, but she was the best chance I had of getting a little information. She averted her eyes again, still messing with my clothes. I hoped that meant she was wavering.

"Bella...I stay out of things. That's what I do." She slammed the luggage shut and whirled to face me. "I'm such a fucking follower. We both are—Emmett and I."

"You don't sound like you like it very much," I prodded, stepping closer and laying a hand on her forearm.

"I don't," she said flatly, but she still wouldn't look at me.

"Now's the time to change that, Rose. Please."

After a moment, she slumped down to sit on the mattress and took a deep breath. "It was about seven years ago when Edward told us he was leaving for a while. Alice had these visions of him...horrible visions. He was holding a bloody girl, and she looked dead. Then there were more...endless people, drained." Finally, she met my eyes, and I almost wished she hadn't. Hers were bleak, dead. "Edward and I never got along, but it wasn't true hatred. Honestly, it was more like sibling rivalry. But I never wanted to see my brother responsible for such carnage. When Alice had the idea to keep him locked up for a while, I thought it had to be better than what happened in her vision.

"I just... She assured us it would be days at the most, that he wouldn't suffer. She insisted, and I quote, that 'he wouldn't ever be happy if we didn't do this for him.' When I compared it to what she said would happen if we didn't...well, it wasn't a difficult choice."

They'd been wrong. Edward _had_ suffered, more than he showed. I was the only person he'd trusted with that information, and the very reminder of his pain was enough to set me smoldering.

Edward chose that moment to open the door, sticking his head in. "Are you almost ready to go, Bella?" he asked, with only a cursory glance and nod at Rose. I could tell by the set of his jaw that Rose wasn't doing the greatest job of blocking his gift—he knew what we'd been discussing.

_No, damn it! I was about to make Rose feel really, really guilty before I pry more answers out of her, _I wanted to say, but I held my tongue. He and I were heading to a tropical paradise, where we'd have plenty of time alone—and if I was honest with myself, I'd rather have a peaceful time with him than figure out the mystery of his duplicitous family. For the moment. The rest could wait until we came back.

I _would_ fix this for him.

.

-x-

.

Flying to Brazil with Edward as the pilot sounded a hell of a lot better than it turned out to be—it was sort of boring. Who knew he'd have to actually pay attention to flying the plane rather than me.

"You're a shitty multi-tasker, you know that?" I complained as he began the descent into the airspace of the private airport just outside of Rio. "Good thing vampires don't have to walk and chew gum at the same time."

"We don't chew gum, Bella. That's disgusting," he said absently, making a face as he adjusted some dials and flipped a few switches. "Chewing things..." He shuddered.

"What if it was blood-flavored gum?" I tried to imagine it but failed spectacularly. Wait, wasn't I supposed to be ticked about something? Oh, yes. Edward's severe lack of attention.

"Think about what you're suggesting, love. Why would humans make blood-flavored gum?"

"Well, maybe vampires make it. In a vampire candy factory. Maybe they hand out golden tickets and lure in little children to make the really fancy stuff." I was completely messing with him, but it was so much fun to see all the constipated faces he made.

"If I hadn't changed you myself, I'd be wondering if the lack of cabin pressure was affecting your brain. That is seriously disturbing." More switch flipping, and this time he adjusted some joystick-looking thing, which only made me think about playing with his...never mind.

"You're no fun," I griped, putting my feet up on the—for lack of a better word—dash.

"Careful! I'm trying to land! Do you want me to crash this thing?"

"Like the all-knowing Edward Cullen would crash the plane."

"He might if the sometimes-annoying Bella Swan was with him."

I just stared at him, my mouth agape in indignation, eyes wide.

"I see you're still not receptive to my jokes," he sighed, his lips twitching. "The altitude must make you grouchy."

"What happened to the closed-mouthed, cryptic vampire I fell in love with?"

"You tortured him. He died." Now it was my turn to fight a smile.

"Lies. He was undead."

Edward laughed loudly as the plane touched down without incident. "Semantics."

"Smartass vampire."

"Impatient harpy." The affectionate tone of his words let me know he didn't mean it.

"Why did I come with you again?"

"I'm irresistible," he said lowly, grabbing my wrist and pulling me to his side as he stood from the pilot's chair. The tip of his nose grazed my neck, and then he purred in my ear. My knees threatened to give out on me and I swear something low in my belly squealed. Maybe it was my ovaries. But wait—did I even have ovaries now that I was a vampire? Were they vestigial, like the appendix?

"Bella?" He was regarding me with that smug look, a cocky but oh-so-hot smile front and center, and I knew he was milliseconds away from laughing at me outright.

"What?"

One unruly eyebrow arched as he looked toward the door. "On second thought, I'm afraid to ask what you're thinking about." It was probably better if he didn't know anyway. He thought I was flighty enough already. "Would you like to actually deplane?" he asked dryly. "We still have to make it to port before dawn, and I thought you might like to hunt. Once we set out in the boat, it should take us about forty-five minutes to get to the island."

"Yes, let's get out of here. I'm ready to sparkle."

"Are you kidding me? _That's_ what you're excited about?"

"Among other things." I gave him a sneaky smile, adding a sexy look just to mess with him. I hoped it looked sexy, at least, but I probably looked constipated or confused or something. My throat was burning with thirst already, and I'd fed before we left yesterday afternoon. If I could just bag a couple jaguars or crocodiles, I could put off feeding on the island as long as possible.

Edward cleared his throat and started messing with the controls again, pretending to look busy.

So maybe I managed to pull off the coy little looks. Yes! _Maybe I can talk him into taking me hunting before we leave the mainland... There aren't many humans in the Amazon River basin, right? _

"Edward?"

"Yeah?" He turned toward me slowly, eyes starting somewhere around my hips and traveling upward.

"I'm thirsty," I said, suddenly feeling a lot like the gluttonous newborn I was. The lights marking the runway of the little airport flashed at the edges of my vision, making me feel a little jumpy and irritated. I was ready to get out of the damn plane.

He was silent as we deplaned, stopping to grab the small suitcases we'd packed; the rest of our belongings were already waiting at the island. I busied myself with scanning the area, noting the lack of humans. I concentrated on not breathing, because I truly didn't know what would happen if I caught the scent of our natural prey. Since the chances were almost 100-percent likely that I'd start foaming at the mouth and trying to get at the tasty morsel like a zombie desperate for delicious brains, I'd prefer to err on the side of safety.

"You can breathe," he finally said with an encouraging smile. "Carlisle pays well for his privacy." I let out a relieved breath—it was still damn uncomfortable to quit breathing like that. The phantom-like need to breathe made me uneasy but it was tolerable.

My hunger, however, was growing stronger by the second. "So, can we?" I prodded.

"What?"

"Can we hunt?" Crap, that sounded whiny.

"You think you can handle it? I can't ensure a human-free experience if we deviate from the plan." He didn't sound like he was too sure.

I grinned at his obsessive-compulsive plan talk. "I really think I can, Edward. I won't breathe, I promise. And I sort of have an idea."

"I'm really afraid to ask," he grinned, slowing as we approached a shiny, jet-black sportscar that had me doubting if our tiny bags would even fit in the trunk of the thing.

"I was thinking maybe we could hunt in the Amazon rainforest. You know, just to say we did." It was all I could do not to cross my fingers, screw my eyes tight, and chant _Please! Please!_ "They have panthers." Surely that would be a good incentive. Panther, mountain lion...at least he'd be keeping it in the family.

Edward's phone rang just as he started to answer, and he frowned when I motioned for him to go ahead and answer it. His frown blew into a downright scowl as he read the display. "Alice," he said grouchily.

I rolled my eyes, unable to keep the annoyed sigh in my chest. "Better answer it, or miss know-it all won't leave us alone. Besides, it could be about those vampire police."

He grinned at me and agreed. "You're right."

I unashamedly eavesdropped when he answered. It was sort of impossible not to, since I could hear her clear as day.

"_You guys can make that trip to the Amazon,"_ she said. "_She won't eat anyone as far as I can see. You're welcome."_ Then the line went dead. Thank God for small favors.

Edward slipped the phone back into his pocket and led me to the passenger side of the car, opening the door with a silly flourish. "Let's get going, then. It's time to hunt."

.

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* * *

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	17. Combustion

_AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal are the guinea pigs. Any errors are mine. _

_I own the spazzy newborn, Stephenie owns the names. _

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**-****Chapter**** 17: ****Combustion****-**

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The colors were amazing.

The rainforest was draped in every single living shade of green and brown, dim though they were in the pre-dawn darkness. It presented no problem for my new eyes, however, and I greedily soaked in my surroundings with a silly grin on my face, unable to contain the joy at finally being able to visit this place I'd wanted to see ever since I learned about it in my human life.

I spun in a circle, my eyes coming to land on Edward as I completed the turn. I was here all because of him, and for the very first time, I felt absolutely no resentment for the way he'd gone about bringing me into this life. There was nothing but happiness, and gratitude...and love. He watched me with furtive eyes, his face open and encouraging, a slight smile only adding to his handsomeness.

Without thinking, I crushed him in a hug, whispering, "Thank you," over and over, until he groaned and tried to push me away.

"Ow," was all he said, shrugging.

"Sorry!" I exclaimed, sending a bird fluttering from a branch nearby. It was a flash of scarlet and yellow and blue, almost glowing in the dimness. "Wow."

"It's lovely, isn't it?" he asked, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. I turned back to find him watching me, eyes soft with affection, and I knew he wasn't talking entirely about the forest.

"Yes." I wasn't just talking about the jungle, either, and we both knew it.

We stared at one another for a moment, but he was the first one to snap out of it. "We should hurry if we want to get back to port before dawn. According to the weather forecast, there won't be any cloud cover today, so if we're here when the sun rises, we'll have to stay in the jungle until tonight."

I wasn't sure I'd mind. I lost myself in the view again, admiring the way orchids and vines draped across the tree branches, splashes of bright color standing out vibrantly against the earthen hues of the forest. Edward was still talking, something about logistics and getting away from the mainland before too many humans ventured out of their homes for the day, but I was mesmerized by the environment.

Really, he shouldn't have expected anything else. I was a biology nerd, for Christ's sake. I was here, in this land of who knew how many as-yet undiscovered species, the place that housed fifty percent of the planet's plants and animals, and he expected me to listen to things about nautical miles and currents and cloud cover?

"Bella? Did you hear me?" I could hear the amusement in his voice, knew he was _this_ close to laughing at me, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "I thought you were hungry. Tasty jaguars await," he cajoled, giving me a little push on the shoulder.

And that was all it took to bring Ms. Spazzy Newborn to the surface. _Oh__, __game__ on__, __Buddy__._

It was only fair that I shove him back. Honestly, he only flew about ten feet before he hit a tree.

Damn flimsy tree. It really wasn't my fault that it knocked down three others when it buckled under the force of Edward's marble body.

"What the hell, Bella?" he cried, leaping up and stalking toward me. "And we thought humans would be the ones to destroy the rainforest with all their paper making and slash burning..."

"You pushed me first!" I whirled and sped off, following the sound of a stream that trickled nearby. He was right on my heels, griping about the mud stains on the ass of his jeans.

"I didn't _push_ you, love. I gave you a friendly jostle. There's a difference." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to a stop.

"A 'friendly jostle?' You would have dislocated my shoulder if I'd been human!"

"Hello, you're a vampire." He was getting worked up, I could tell by the annoyed tone to his voice. "As evidenced by the way I flew across the forest when you pushed me back!"

"So you admit you pushed me!"

"What?" he sputtered. "No! When did I say that?"

"Well, for me to have pushed you _back_, you had to push me _first__,_" I retorted, almost tasting the verbal victory.

He snorted. "Whatever."

"That means I win!" Yanking my hand from his grip, I started skipping forward, laughing back at him, and promptly tripped over a large root, ripping it completely from the ground. That was when I learned that a face full of dirt didn't taste any better now than it had when I was human. Embarrassed, I got up and brushed myself off, wiping my face on my t-shirt. When I dared to look at Edward, he was still stifling laughter and averting his eyes. "Don't. Say. A. Word," I growled.

"That's five," he said under his breath.

"I heard that...five what?" I couldn't help it. Sometimes he was impossible to follow.

"Five dead trees," he replied dryly, looking smug. "Shame on you. You're going to have a huge carbon footprint when this is over."

I stalked off, watching where I was going this time. "I'll show you my footprint. In your ass."

His laughter echoed through the forest as we trudged on. "I love you, too, Bella."

"Shut it. You're scaring off all the animals."

"No, that would be you, with your clomping and tripping," he grumbled.

_Oh__, __that__'__s__ IT__!_

"I'll have you know, those dead trees will create habitats for hundreds of animals. They'll eventually rot and their nutrients will soak back into the earth, once again contributing to the various nutrient cycles that fuel our planet—"

He cut me off with his lips, a quick kiss to which I didn't want to succumb, but was unable to ignore. "I don't understand how you remember so much from your human life, but I find it very entertaining," he said softly, his hands linking behind my back.

"I knew I loved science, so I made it a point to review the material in my spare time," I explained. "I figured if it was something I constantly thought about, it was definitely worth remembering."

_Like __you__...__and__ every __moment __we__'__ve __had__ together__._

"You didn't want to forget." His expression was thoughtful, and I wondered if he didn't know that I was speaking of him, too.

"Never." And once again, my mood had shifted. I could barely keep up, but somehow I knew it was worth it. Just as he was worth it. He stopped, turning to face me, and we simply stared at one another. Silence threaded its way around us, only the occasional birdcall or rustling of leaves interrupting the blanket of peace the forest provided.

Edward cleared his throat and looked down. "We should hunt."

He headed off toward the stream in the distance, both of us following one of the many tiny tributaries that led to the monstrous Amazon basin. I couldn't do anything but follow...and it wasn't because I was starving.

.

x

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After we'd hunted our fill—I took a lame jaguar and two twelve-foot crocodiles for myself—we lounged in a little clearing. Edward decided that jaguars were pretty similar to mountain lions, just a little more...exotic in flavor. While I thought they were pretty damn tasty, the immense guilt I felt at enjoying my former favorite class of animal was too overpowering for me to ignore. The crocodiles hadn't been nearly as delicious, but they were guilt-free—like the "vegetarian" vampire's equivalent of diet food. At any rate, our bellies were pleasantly full and we were happy; we'd missed our chance to make it to the pier before dawn, but I didn't think either of us really cared.

Sunlight filtered through the canopy and turned our skin to sparkling wonder, the glittering expanses of pale flesh shimmering off and on in the spotty glow. While it was a little off-putting to see my bare arms and legs shining like I'd been attacked by the Glitter Fairy, it was the person next to me at which I couldn't stop staring. Edward's skin threw prisms everywhere, making the rainforest look like a rainbow of light viewed through pristine, diamond-cut lenses, individual pinpoints of light visible in every spectrum imaginable. He was _beautiful_, so much more than anything I'd ever seen.

All I could think was that he used to call me the same thing when I was human, and I simply couldn't imagine why. How could he? As I regarded the world with the sharp eyes of a vampire, I wondered what he'd seen in me. I knew I was smart and funny, and we'd always been able to entertain one another, but how could he have thought I was beautiful, with my pale-pink skin and weak body...

"What are you thinking?" he asked softly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "You seem so far away."

"You don't really call me 'Beautiful' anymore," I said, trying to keep the sad note out of my voice. "You did at the rock, but I've noticed you did it a lot more when I was human."

"I thought you asked me not to," he replied, a guarded expression coming over his face.

"That's never stopped you from doing anything before."

He smiled wryly. "True." Sighing, he pulled me closer, but he still wouldn't look at me. Instead, he kept his eyes fixed on the forest beyond as we sat next to each other in the early morning light.

Unsettled by the tension I could feel in his body, I turned my attention to our surroundings, once again appreciating the beauty of the jungle. The air was heavy with moisture, redolent with the crisp scent of green plants and the muskier aroma of the animals that lived among them. Insects hummed, birds called, and the light breeze whispered and rustled through the leaves of the forested interior. I was mesmerized by the occasional prisms of light that bounced between us; the glittering expanses of our skin, the lush green foliage surrounding us, and the glimpses of azure blue skies that peeked through the canopy above, all of it seemed to fit together perfectly—here, I felt like we were truly natural, meant to be.

Still, I couldn't relax. Not when there was this creeping tension forming an invisible barrier between us.

"Tell me what's wrong." Ignoring the beauty all around us, I focused on him. He was just as engaging, as breathtaking as the forest, and I was beginning to realize that although he was physically invincible, in some ways he was just as fragile as the life that surrounded us.

Finally, he turned his head, eyes darkening with what I thought was wariness; I didn't want it to be hurt. He'd had enough of that for ten lifetimes. "I suppose it reminds me of before...when I thought you might never want me again." I opened my mouth to assure him that he didn't have to worry, but he stopped me. "It's different now, of course, but there are still times when I fear I love you more than you love me. That even though you choose to be with me, I've ruined our chances for that perfect love...that you'll always remember how I chose this life for you. I don't want to go back to that place—the one where you don't want anything to do with me."

I put my fingers over his mouth, stopping his words before he could dive farther into his pit of self-doubt. It was hard not to be angry or insulted, because the volatile side of me wanted to take his statement as demeaning. It made me wonder if he thought that I didn't have the same capacity for love as he did.

But the rest of me knew it was just his insecurity surfacing.

"You know what I've noticed?" I asked, and he looked down into his lap, shaking his head slightly, but not enough to dislodge my fingers. "Most of my human memories...they've faded. Not completely, but it's like they're almost insulated, somehow. But the ones of you and me? They become clearer every day," I whispered, letting my hand drop. He finally raised his head, those rich, golden irises sparking with renewed hope. "I'm supposed to be with you, Edward. You're my only past. My only future. You're my forever."

He was right in front of me then, a low, pained groan slipping from his lips. There was still that remaining distance between us...mere millimeters, really, but I knew he wouldn't breach it; it was up to me. Gladly, I set my lips to his, inhaling his breath of surprise, absorbing his shock into my body. I let myself go, threading my fingers through his hair, pressing my chest against his.

"I've never wanted to be anything else," he breathed, mouth pliant beneath mine. "It's like there was nothing before you."

"It's okay, Edward," I whispered, trying to soothe him in any way I could. "I know."

Hands fisting in the cotton of my t-shirt, he shredded it, and I didn't know if it was by accident or if he did it on purpose. In any case, it was unsalvageable, the ragged fabric slipping from my body and drifting to the earth below. As a vampire, I didn't need a bra for most daily activities, which Edward definitely appreciated. His eyes narrowed as he stared, lashes dipping down over cheekbones that were faintly colored by our hunt. Keeping his eyes fixed on my chest, he hesitated before hooking his fingers in the waistband of my shorts and ripping them from my body, tossing them into the jungle.

Now _that_ was definitely on purpose.

"If you keep doing that, I won't have any clothes to wear," I laughed softly, glad he'd hidden a duffel full of spare clothes high in a tree before we'd set out on our hunt. I dropped soft kisses across his cheekbone, finally settling my mouth just below his ear. Raking my teeth across the tendon there, I smiled against his skin when he groaned deep in his throat, the sound ending in a little purr. Or maybe it was a growl...either way, it did things to me. Hot, dirty things.

"What an ideal situation," he muttered, hands wandering over every inch of flesh he'd exposed. "You're perfect just like this. No clothes needed." Strong fingers dug into my hips as he pulled me into his lap, arranging my thighs so they splayed on either side of his.

"You've still got clothes." I said it with my lips pressed to the spot just behind his ear, delighting in the way his hands gripped me harder.

"That's easily remedied." He muffled the words against my chest, pressing his cheek to the spot where my heart used to beat, nuzzling his nose against the curve of my breast. I saw his tongue come out to trace my skin and I couldn't look away. His messy hair was alight with streaks of golden and red in the dappled glow, his skin smooth and pale, shining, like a pearl in firelight.

He was beautiful, inside and out, and he was all mine.

I wrapped my arms around his head, hugging him to my chest, unable to control the wave of love and belonging that washed over me.

"I love you," I whispered, burying my face in his hair. He fastened his mouth to the side of my neck, lips wide, a short, desperate groan vibrating against my skin. Then I was flat on my back in the leaf litter in the space of a single thought, his face right above mine, irises burning bright with a fire so intense in its golden beauty that it was almost blinding.

"I'm yours, Bella. Always. Forever," he vowed, his hands framing my face, stroking my hair, fingertips trembling against my flesh.

"You're mine," I repeated in wonder, my chest tightening at the smile that overtook his face. My hands flattened against his back, stroking over the muscles of his shoulders and tracing down the divot of his spine. This time he did purr, closing his eyes at the pleasure of my touch.

"Yours," he whispered, his mouth meeting mine in the sweetest, softest kiss. It was tentative, just like the first time, but the undercurrents of his love and devotion were impossible to miss. Everything was so much stronger, so much more concentrated, just so...so much more.

The tip of his tongue grazed my lips and I welcomed him in, drawing him inside me in this little way, wanting, hoping that this act was only the beginning of all the ways I'd take him into myself. Bringing my hands around, I worked at the buttons of his shirt, managing to spread the halves wide even though there was virtually no space between us. All the while he kissed me, thoroughly, gently, perfectly. When our skin met, chest to chest, he groaned loudly, hands tightening in my hair, hips digging into mine.

Letting the sounds of his enjoyment bolster me, I continued on to unfasten his jeans, giggling when I ripped a button off my haste. He dropped his head to my neck as I reached inside and wrapped my fingers around his length, a low growl—almost a snarl—rumbling through his chest and vibrating against mine. The sound excited me, calling to something deep inside that was equally primal; it was instinct and want and need rolled together, a living, pulsing desire inside me. I wanted to claim him, prove to both of us that he really _was_ mine, made for me and no one else. Slowly, I tightened my fist around him, pumping up, down...tearing down his control as I built up the pleasure. I loved the way he felt here, so soft and hot, almost delicate, yet unbelievably hard beneath the thin, velvety skin. He loved it too—thrusting wildly into my hand, fingers clenching in my hair, forearms bracketing my shoulders. I was trapped in a lovely cage of strong, powerful muscle and bone, held by the man I loved, and I had no desire to escape.

I pressed kisses to his jaw as I worked him, whispering words of encouragement against his skin, telling him how much I loved him, that I wanted everything he would give me, promising that I was his forever, too. It was those words that broke him, and he lifted his head, eyes burning into mine as he rested his weight on one elbow and reached down to cover my hand with his. Our fingers interlocked as we stroked him together, and then he guided our joined hands down to dip two fingers inside me.

The golden flames of his irises held me pinned as we explored my slick flesh together; I was so aroused that I could _hear_ the wet sound of our movement.

"Wrap your legs around me, Bella, please." He wasn't asking, telling; he was begging. "I need to feel you holding me." Of course I did as he asked, linking my ankles at the small of his back. His hips settled against me, the head of his penis rubbing bluntly against my lips, slick and wet. With our fingers still inside me, he pushed forward, slowly, inch by inch, until our hands were sandwiched between us, trapped by his cock.

My eyes rolled back in my head as he moved, and I could _feel_ him fucking me, rubbing against our fingers. I'd never felt so full...it was almost uncomfortable, but there was no way I'd tell him to stop.

_Finally_...he was mine and I was his...connected...and it was so much more than I'd ever imagined.

"Bella," he groaned, "I feel us..."

"Yes," I breathed, panting, straining, writhing underneath him. I clutched at his hip with my other hand, pulling him deeper, harder. "I can't..."

He grunted a wordless reply, sliding his forearm beneath my neck, banding his arm around me. Leaves rustled beneath us, but the rest of the forest was silent: all I could hear was our labored breathing and flesh on flesh and and the slight swirl of the breeze that washed over us. If we were human, our bodies would have been slippery with sweat, but there were no such deterrents now. The humid air hung all around us like a blanket, but it was soft, soothing.

"I need to feel you deeper." He pulled his hand from my body, taking mine with it, fingers still entwined, sliding up my side, leaving a trail of wetness and heat, until he pressed my hand into the dirt beside my head. "And I want you to feel _this__,_" he whispered, nipping my earlobe and dropping soft kisses on the sensitive skin just behind. Then he moved, hips ramming into mine, going so deep I cried out. "You okay?" He stopped, so far inside me that the rough fabric of his jeans rasped against my inner thighs.

"Yes," I managed, finally forcing my eyes open. His were wide—piercing, intense, mesmerizing. "Better than okay." He groaned as I gave him the green light, hips pistoning, his body pressing me into the fertile forest floor. The earth felt like a soft cloud beneath my back as he pounded into me, the organic material offering no resistance against my impenetrable skin and the force of his thrusts. We were probably making a rut in the ground, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

He felt too good.

_We_ felt too good.

"Bella...I..." His voice became gritty, trailing off into a moan. I tightened my hold on him, fingers clutching his, legs squeezing tight, taking, giving, molding... He was taking me, but I was _claiming_ him. My own pleasure was nothing—seeing him lose control, knowing I was the one making him feel this way—was even better.

And I would be the _only_ one to do it.

For years...decades...centuries. Millenia.

I only existed to give him release, to be the person he turned to in times of need, desire, sadness. I held on to him as he came, burying his face in my neck and calling my name. Slowly, he relaxed atop me, his heavy chest slumping against mine. Heavy breaths tickled my throat as he came down, his lips pressed to my skin. Slight tremors shook the broad muscles of his shoulders underneath my fingertips, and I did what I could to soothe him, lightly stroking the length of his back.

When he finally lifted his head, his eyes were dark, a ring of deep amber encircling his dilated pupils, still intense and burning. With just that one look, it was my turn to tremble, and I knew we weren't finished. Without a word, he crushed his lips to mine, holding nothing back, and though there was nothing soft or delicate about the way he took my mouth, there was no way I could miss the emotion behind it. He was still out of control, and I relished his rough handling. His tongue swept between my lips, tangling with mine in a desperate slide of want and need, and I couldn't help but buck my hips up at his in response. He wasn't as hard as he'd been before, but it was still enough.

Pulling his mouth from mine, he gazed down at me with those beautiful, heavy-lidded eyes. "We've got plenty of time for that," he said in that low, gritty voice, a satisfied smile playing at the corner of his lips.

_Easy __for__ you __to __say__. __You __just __had __a __mind__-__blowing __orgasm__. __If__ I__ don__'__t__ say __so __myself__..._ My train of thought was obliterated as he rolled us, drawing me on top of him. His hands went to my hips, pushing up until we were separated. I cried out at the loss, the sound disappearing as he jerked my body up to his face. My throat went dry when he settled me directly above his mouth, my knees on either side of his head.

"I believe I owe you something," he murmured, _directly__ into __my __lady __parts__._ If I'd been human, I definitely would have fainted. As it was, I felt a little light-headed anyway, needing to anchor my hands in his hair to keep my balance above him. And when he took one long, savoring lick, his eyes fixed on mine, I think I died all over again. My entire body burned, buzzed, ready to explode.

Keeping me still with one hand, his fingers dug into the flesh of my ass as the other trailed down and lightly brushed my slit, opening me, making more room for his tongue. He was everywhere—smoothing over my sensitive skin in slow, languorous licks, nipping at the fleshy swells of my lips, dipping inside to fuck me with his mouth. His fingers joined in, two of them pumping deep, and he focused his attention on my clit, tongue moving in tiny, quick circles.

I threw my head back, eyes clamped shut, unable to speak or utter a sound. As the pleasure spiraled and built low in my belly, tightened in my abdomen, my whole body began to burn. My lungs constricted, refusing to work; heat scorched my throat and venom welled, coating my tongue, and I wanted nothing more than to bite down on something when he fastened his lips around my clit and sucked, fucking me into oblivion with his fingers at the same time. I froze as he brought me over, arching over him, coming harder than I could ever remember, venom streaming down my flaming throat as surely as it did below, coating Edward's face.

As he took me down with more tiny licks, soothing my swollen flesh, he pulled his fingers from my body, and I finally felt like I could breathe again. I inhaled a deep breath through my nose, feeling like I might never be able to move, but when my brain processed the scent wafting through the jungle, I was on alert—body tense, muscles flexed. Leaping to my feet before I knew it, I ripped myself from Edward's grasp and sped toward what I could only describe as the most tempting, delicious, heavenly, wonderful scent...

Edward called my name from far behind me, but I kept running. I couldn't stop, and I didn't want to—it was like chasing the best high, riding the tallest, scariest roller-coaster, and if I could make it to the top, surely I'd be flying. This scent...it put all the dim memories of my favorite human dishes to shame. It was more delicious than the most comforting foods of my childhood, more alluring than the sexiest cologne.

Nothing else mattered as I flew through the forest, vines and underbrush slapping against my impenetrable skin. My body cut through the bush as easily as the sharpest machete. Vaguely, I could hear Edward gaining on me, the slap of his feet against the forest floor easily double that of mine, but I only ran harder, trying to lengthen my stride. I was getting closer, I knew it. There was another sound that joined the cacophony of our race through the forest—a wet, rhythmic thump and slosh, accompanied by the faint sound of laughter and conversation. It was then that I knew what had me snared so tightly.

Humans.

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* * *

_Uh-oh! Do you think she'll have some people for dinner? Yikes!_

_Have you read the entries for the High Times Contest yet? I wrote one...can you find it? Voting is open until March 2nd - go forth and find my entry so I can win something, damnit. :)_

**_http:/www . fanfiction . net / u / 2685261/High_Times_Contest_**

_So hurry and read - AND VOTE - before the deadline! And JSYK, I can't stop writing about those two...so yeah, there will be more._

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_Go vote for Chain Reaction._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm working on chapter 18 now, so you won't have to wait too long to find out what happens!_


	18. Neutralization

_Thanks to AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal for the preread. I thoroughly enjoy all of your comments and help. _

_I don't own Twilight, but I did see Twilight: The Blond Remake on Tuesday night. Apparently Hardwicke thinks Red Riding Hood lives in Forks...no, seriously, it was good - for a free preview._

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_

**-Chapter 18: Neutralization-**

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_It was then that I knew what had me snared so tightly._

_Humans._

* * *

What the hell was I doing? I kept telling my legs to stop moving, but they wouldn't listen to my brain. They kept pumping, moving, rushing, taking me toward the irresistible aroma that promised the greatest bliss, the loveliest pleasure...

_The ultimate satisfaction._

My body insisted that this was what it was made for, what it needed, what it _craved_. That nothing would ever complete me like this one, simple thing...blood. Human blood. It was a chant on repeat inside my head, goading me to run faster, farther, to do anything I could for just a taste.

_Just one taste..._

"Bella!" Edward roared from somewhere behind me, getting closer and closer. "Stop! You don't want to do this!"

_I can do anything I want...and God, I _want _this..._

I'd never felt so out of control, yet at the same time, I'd never been so sure of something I wanted..._needed._ Pushing myself harder, I took to the trees, allowing me to cover the distance faster, all the while fighting an inner battle with myself.

_I shouldn't be doing this...it's wrong. I'm wrong. Edward is right...I don't want this. I can't do this._

I began to slow, fighting my screaming instincts every step of the way. Recalling relaxation techniques from my human lifetime, I took deep breaths in an effort to calm myself.

It was the biggest mistake I could have made. The potent, mouthwatering aroma of human blood filled my nostrils, snaking its tendrils through my brain, trying to wrestle away my tenuous self-control. Venom flowed freely, pooling in my mouth, sliding in a molten stream down my throat.

Looking down, I found the humans just below me—three young men, oblivious, like sitting ducks in an open pond. I froze, dropping into a stealthy crouch on a branch, peering down at my prey. Somehow I knew I could take them all; I could snap their necks in the space of a second and take my time draining their cooling corpses. I crept out a little farther, planning my ambush, eyes focused on my quarry below. They'd noticed me by now, the three of them pointing and gaping, catcalling as they waited for death.

"Dude, it's fucking Tarzan and Jane! _Naked_ Jane!" the largest of them laughed.

He would die first, but I'd leave the other two up to chance—I could be flexible.

"Swingin' from the trees!" another one added.

"Dude, what the fuck did they put in that breakfast at the hostel? Are we hallucinating? That smokin' hot chick is flying—and _sparkling?"_

"Run, you morons!" Edward bellowed from behind me, and I couldn't contain my snarl of rage, tearing my eyes from my prey for one second to send him a death glare. How dare he try to scare my kill away!

A growl rumbled deep in my chest and my hands curled into claws as I tensed to drop from the tree. I was so immersed in the bloodlust that I was completely blindsided when a freight train barrelled into my side with a deafening crash, startling the humans below and sending them scattering like ants. Air blasted my face as I fell, my hair streaming behind me, catching on stray twigs and vines, ripping them from their moorings on the slick tree bark. I landed with something heavy pinning me to the ground, the impact of my body creating a three foot-deep crater in the soft earth. The wind was knocked from my lungs, and I was surprised to realize that it was nearly as incapacitating to my vampire body as it would be to a human—for a split second. As soon as I recovered my wits, I thrashed around, trying to free myself. The prey was getting away!

"Bella, snap out of it! You've got to calm down!" A strong forearm wrapped around my throat, capturing me in a choke-hold from which not even my newborn strength could free me. My arm was jerked behind my back, folded high, with a hard hand clamped around my wrist. I could feel the way my shoulder strained at the pressure; just a tiny bit more pressure and my arm would be gone. "Please, don't make me incapacitate you," the voice begged, rough with exertion and fear and...pain? "Please, Bella. Bella!"

I blinked, finally coming back to myself, the urge to defend receding as I recognized the voice—it was Edward. His scent enveloped me, soothing my senses, driving away the madness caused by the fading perfume of human blood. I came back to myself, realizing I was completely naked and pressed face-down in the loam, the utter silence of the forest weighing heavily upon me.

Along with the crushing guilt of what I'd almost done.

"Edward?" I hated how small and unsure I sounded, how my voice wavered, how I was a trembling mess sprawled beneath him. He eased up on his hold just a fraction, his body relaxing as he released a shuddering breath.

"Christ, Bella," he breathed, and I felt his head drop against my shoulder for a second. "I'm so sorry."

_He_ was sorry? I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until he answered me.

"Of course I am! I let you down..." His voice was ragged with pain and self-loathing.

It was just what I needed to get back to myself.

"Why do you blame yourself for everything, Edward?"

His grip loosened and he backed away, allowing me to face him. We both sat on the forest floor, knees touching, my hands in his. I let my eyes roam over him, taking in his half-buttoned jeans and sloppily-fastened shirt. A single button held it together, the shredded fabric revealing tantalizing glimpses of his pale, perfect skin. I looked down at myself, belatedly remembering my own nakedness, the sight of all that bare flesh sending wave after wave of humiliation coursed over me.

_Only you, Bella. Only you could destroy five ancient trees, have the best sex of your life, and then crash through the jungle after tasty humans—while naked—all in the span of one short morning._

Edward caught me staring and, ever the gentleman, had his button-down around my shoulders in the blink of an eye. I simply regarded him with one eyebrow raised as I fastened a couple of the buttons. There was no way the flimsy fabric kept me covered, but it was better than nothing until we could find our way back to our spare clothing.

"Are you okay?" he questioned softly, deftly avoiding my question.

I wasn't, but there was no way I'd admit it to him. He already blamed himself.

"I didn't eat anyone. You can relax," I said glumly, focusing on a line of leaf-cutter ants marching up a tree nearby. "I'm fine." Dropping my head into my hands, I let out a loud, exasperated groan. "I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I did it _naked!_"

Edward's soft laugh did nothing to ease my embarrassment. "You sure gave them a show," he agreed.

A show—shit! "Oh, fuck...Edward, what if they say something?" I jerked my head up, suddenly terrified. If my poor heart still worked, it would be pounding.

He grinned and grabbed me in a one-armed hug, tucking me underneath his shoulder. I rested my head against his collarbone and sighed.

"I seriously doubt they will, love. Think about it—would _you_ say anything about seeing a sparkling, naked woman swinging through the trees?"

"Good point, I guess. Who would believe them?"

"Exactly."

"Thanks for catching me, Edward."

"I'll always catch you. I'm faster," he quipped, and I couldn't help but smile. I loved the way he tried to distract me from the complete mortification of the past minutes. Of course, I couldn't let him get away with acting all superior. It just wasn't my style.

"I _let_ you catch me." Looking at him from beneath my lashes, I felt a tightening in my chest as he smiled wider. He was so handsome, all rumpled in ripped denim, with bits of leaves and vines stuck in his hair, which was even messier than usual.

"I almost didn't. You didn't see me face-plant when you first took off. I lost precious seconds pulling up my damn pants."

The image was too much for me to take. I snorted, my whole body convulsing in laughter. "Sorry I missed it."

"_I'm_ not." He ducked his head, and I swear he would have blushed if it was physically possible. The moment of levity faded; we sat without speaking as the natural soundtrack of the rainforest slowly grew in volume, the wildlife returning after our major disruption.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I whispered, winding my arms around his waist.

"It wasn't your fault, Bella. I let myself become too...distracted. I should be the one apologizing."

"Is that what they're calling it these days? Distraction?" I asked with a tiny grin.

He cleared his throat. "No comment."

I decided to quit teasing him; the poor guy had had enough today. Chasing after your sparkling, naked, newborn vampire of a mate was probably exhausting. "I'd rather blame Alice, anyway. She said I wouldn't eat anyone."

"Don't remind me. I'm tempted to fly back to Washington and wash all her dry-clean only clothes."

"She'd explode!" I laughed. "I'd love to see it! You could shrink all her Merino wool sweaters...stretch out all her cashmere..." Oh, the possibilities...

"I'll be sure to include you if I go through with the plan," he returned, planting a soft kiss on the crown of my head.

"'If?' You mean 'when!' We're _so_ doing it. Promise me."

I could feel his smile against my hair. "You know I can't deny you anything."

"Except a belly full of frat boys," I sighed, embarrassment trying to creep back in.

"You didn't really want them."

"Oh, believe me, I did." I frowned as I remembered the all-encompassing urges that had accompanied my naked romp through the forest. It was disconcerting to realize that something could have so much power over me, even when I knew it was completely wrong—when I fought against it with everything in me, but it still wasn't enough.

"It will get better, Bella," Edward assured me, rubbing my upper arm with gentle fingertips. "I promise. No one would fault you for your slip today. You're barely months into this life, and the call of our natural prey is nearly irresistible."

"It was like it took over my entire body," I said, feeling despondent at my lack of control. I didn't want Edward to think I was some kind of toddler that needed constant supervision.

"It's completely normal, love. The first time I got away from Carlisle like that, I took down four prostitutes in the middle of a busy Chicago street."

"_Four_ hookers?" I had to press my lips against his neck just to stifle my inappropriate laughter. "Ambitious much?" I couldn't believe I was laughing at something so morbid, but just having experienced the potent lure of human blood myself, I had no room to judge.

"Be quiet. I was starving; only weeks old. And people were quite a bit smaller back in the early twentieth century."

"Are you seriously using the 'growing boy' excuse?" I kept teasing, loving that I was the only one from which he'd take this type of behavior. Deliberately, he grasped my waist and had me on my back using human speed, so that I knew what was happening. I let him position me, even though I probably could have fought him off.

"What if I am?" he questioned in a low, rumbling tone. "At least _I_ managed to outrun my maker."

I scowled up into his smug face. "Low blow, Edward."

He smiled cockily. "Whatever it takes." He trailed a fingertip across my cheek and down the column of my throat. "As long as you know who's faster..." His mouth was on mine in an instant, the force of his kiss pushing my head back into the soft earth. I could feel the hard length of him pressing at the apex of my thighs, an insistent pressure that I wouldn't ignore in a million years. His bare chest teased mine through the rips in the tattered shirt I wore, heating my skin—well, in a metaphorical sense, considering—and tightening my nipples into hard peaks.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him, squeezing tightly enough to make him wince. "And as long as you know who's stronger..." I whispered, dragging my mouth from his, closing my teeth not so gently on his earlobe.

"Believe me, I know," he agreed, his hands moving to cover my breasts beneath the button down I wore. "You've got me pinned...captured...enthralled." His voice dropped to a low, sensual murmur as he pressed his cheek to mine and thrust his hips, his clothed erection riding between my legs.

"And I'll never let you go." It was out before I could rein it in, but it was the absolute truth. If anything, anyone tried to take him from me, I'd fight to the death to keep him—no one, nothing would be spared.

He was mine, and I was his. Period.

-x-

When we got back to the car after midnight, Edward's cell was full of new messages. He looked like he was about to explode as he thumbed through them, and I put my hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down.

"Look at this," he fumed, turning the display screen toward me.

**Alice: Change in plans - keep an eye on Bella. Don't get **_**too**_ **relaxed. **

**Alice: I said she wouldn't **_**eat**_ **anyone. I didn't say she wouldn't chase a few college boys through the forest.**

I gasped, mouth hanging open in a great impersonation of a large-mouth bass. "She _knew_ that would happen?"

"It appears so," he growled, fingers tightening so much he cracked the display. "Look at this one."

**Alice: Have fun with Jane, Tarzan.**

"I'll kill her." And I would. Ripping her limb from limb would be my first priority when we got back to the States. "What's her problem? Is she pissed at you for not forgiving her? How dare she?"

He sighed and shoved the phone in his back pocket. "I have no idea what motivates Alice."

"Sibling rivalry?" I cracked, raising a brow. It really could have been a good explanation. She seemed to enjoy things that would get Edward worked up. Normally I'd be laughing, but when it involved me almost eating a trio of frat boys, I wasn't so amused. "She's a huge pain in the ass, Edward. Classic little sibling."

"Where are you getting this information? You're an only child."

"Generation Y." I pointed to myself. "I was raised by the television." Really, wasn't that a good explanation for everything?

"You realize there won't be any television on the island," he said with a grin. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Whatever will I do to entertain myself?" Making sure he was watching, I ran the tip of my tongue over my lower lip. _You started the teasing, vampire. Don't mess with the master if you're not prepared to bring it._

He swallowed and cleared his throat as he guided me to sit in the passenger seat. "I'm sure I'll think of something." I was sure he could—and _would_. He made his way back around to the driver's side, and I thought I caught a glimpse of him adjusting his package through the driver's side window before he got in. I hid a smile behind my hand and looked away as he started the car.

It took a while to get to the marina, where a boat was waiting to take us to the island. As we neared civilization, I stopped breathing, just in case we came across any human night owls. Edward made a big deal of activating the child-safety locks on the door, and I flipped him off. Like he didn't know that if I caught a whiff of Eau de Person, I'd rip the damn door from its hinges.

My luck held, however, and we made it to the deserted marina without any human sightings. Or smelling. Edward gathered our things and led me to our waiting boat, which looked like it belonged on some uber-elite Italian lake somewhere.

"Being a vampire sure has its perks," I commented, whistling low as I sat in the plush seat.

He shrugged. "Well, it wouldn't be any fun to live forever if one was destitute."

"How much do you think Carlisle shelled out for this beast?"

"Nothing," he answered noncommittally as he started the engine, which rumbled with what seemed like enough power to launch a space shuttle.

"Are we committing grand theft _boat?_ I didn't sign on for that!" Holy shit. Was my Edward turning into a rebel?

Edward laughed as he backed the craft away from the dock. "We're not stealing anything."

"We're not?" _Wait...that meant... _"This is _yours?_"

"Maybe," he hedged, hitting the throttle as soon as we were clear. I was thrown back into the seat as we shot forward, away from the coast.

"Exactly how much money do you have?" I forced out, unable to imagine that level of wealth, having come from rather modest beginnings myself.

"Enough. The boat was only about two-fifty," he said offhandedly, shrugging as he shoved the throttle to full speed.

"There's no way this thing cost two hundred-fifty bucks!" I burst out, eyes wide.

"It didn't. It was two hundred-fifty thousand." His voice was so bland, as if he was talking about the price of a box of human breakfast cereal. "And it's not just mine; it's yours as well."

"What?" I exclaimed, standing up from my seat. Though, it was kind of sweet, his 'what's mine is yours' attitude...though, what, _exactly,_ did that mean? Were we the vampire equivalent of 'married'? Did I even _want_ that? _Son of a bitch, this is all so damn confusing!_

"Bella, sit down!" He seemed panicked as his eyes darted from me to the ocean beyond the front of the boat. "Please, this is dangerous!"

"Oh, shut it, Edward. Like it's even possible for me to drown." But I sat my ass in that lushly padded seat anyway.

"Still, I'd rather not have to fish you out of the Atlantic." His expression was all tight and stony, like he had a thorny stick lodged somewhere unpleasant.

I rolled my eyes and said nothing. _Like he'd have to rescue me...okay, so maybe I'd let him_. _But I _can _swim, damn it._

A little while later, I spotted the outline of an island. I had to suppress the urge to shout, "land ho!" as we neared the dock that jutted out from the shore.

I didn't notice the home that sat situated between the trees at first; it blended with the island landscape that perfectly. Glass windows dominated the side that faced the ocean, allowing the inhabitants to see every possible view of the pristine white sand beach and the clear midnight waters beyond. It would be beautiful in the daylight; I just knew it.

"It's lovely, Edward," I breathed, eyes locked on the structure that sprawled along the island, yet managed to complement the environment flawlessly.

"Esme designed it," he offered, accepting the beauty like it was nothing special. "It _is_ rather nice...I remember the first time I visited—it was just a shack at the edge of the woods."

My mouth kicked up in a half smile. "I bet it didn't stay that way for long, with the way you vampires like to live in the lap of luxury." I swept my hand around, doing my best 'Vanna White' as I indicated the quarter-million dollar boat in which we sat.

He smiled as he docked, cutting the engine and tossing a rope around some metal hook bolted into the wood. "_We_, you mean."

"_We_ what?"

He finished tying off and raised a brow as he held out a hand to help me out of the boat. "_We_ vampires. You're one too, or have you forgotten this morning's irresistible urge to devour three strapping young men?"

_Well, son of a...am I rubbing off on him?_ "Do you want me to break you, Cullen?" I threatened, tightening my grip on his hand as I stepped onto the dock.

He burst out laughing as he tugged me closer, tossing his head back as he pulled me into a hug. "Come on, love, that was a good one. Admit it."

I hid my grin in his shoulder. "Like you need anything else to boost your ego."

"Oh, I think it could use a boost after the way you ran from me earlier," he argued, leading me toward the shore. The dock floated and bobbed slightly, which worked just fine for me—I had an excuse to lean into his side even more.

"Like I could help it. Newborn, remember? It's a Pavlovian response."

"Not quite. It's very much an instinctual response, not a conditioned one."

I snorted. "Excuse me, Mr. Psych Expert. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

"For the mistake in facts of basic psychological experiments, or for leaving me right in the middle of the best sexual experience of my life?" He hummed thoughtfully, pretending to consider. "I really don't know..."

I tripped over a loose board in the dock, sending it flying. Jerking my head up to stare at him, I stopped dead in my tracks. "Really?"

"Really. My ego just might be irreparably crushed."

Huffing out an impatient breath, I said, "I'm not talking about your ego, Edward." His lips twitched at the corner, and his eyes sparkled with suppressed laughter. I smacked him on the stomach as we stood there—lightly, of course. It wouldn't do to damage him when he was about to tell me that I rocked his vampire world. That _was_ what he'd insinuated, right?

"Ow," he yelped, grabbing my hand. "Forget it, if you're going to keep hitting me." He made a 'tsk, tsk' sound, and I couldn't tear my eyes from his lips as he did it. "So violent, little newborn."

I made a face, trying to hold back my sometimes violent, spazzy newborn tendencies. "Sorry. Now come on, tell me."

He relented and pulled my hand up to drop a soft kiss on the top. "The very best," he said softly, lowly, sparking a ridiculously strong mix of heat and pride in my belly. "And I haven't had nearly enough of you." Drawing my hand up farther, he hooked it around his neck and bent his head to mine. I pressed my lips to his eagerly, threading my fingers in the hair at the back of his head, holding him to me. He sighed against my lips, pulling me closer, until I stood on tip-toe, glued to his body.

He walked me backwards down the dock, my feet really not even touching the ground, he held me so tightly. The boat and the dock were forgotten as he slowly steered us toward the house, leaving a trail of scattered clothing along the way.

I hadn't had nearly enough of him, either...and I wasn't sure I ever would. Lucky for both of us, we had all the time in the world to find out...right?

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* * *

_Whew, she didn't eat anyone. I think you're all glad about that, right? Wonder what else this trip will have in store for these two...What do you think?_

_And apparently you guys don't love me because I didn't win anything...but I guess that's okay. I'll keep slaving away. I guess it's payback for my review reply fail. I'll take it on the chin, because there was some awesome competition. Go check out the very deserving winners of the Vampies while I'm working on the next chapter._ _Until next time, and thanks for reading!_


	19. Competitive Reaction

Twilight isn't mine. Too bad, right?

Thanks, as always, to Yoga_Gal, famouslyso, and AmeryMarie for their insight and help.

Sorry this took so long...I've got no excuses, just block and distraction. But it's such a pretty back – I mean, _distraction..._

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**-****Chapter**** 19: ****Competitive**** Reaction****-**

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"So, I'm still the best, right?" I asked breathlessly, too boneless from pleasure to even lift my head from his shoulder. I knew vampires couldn't sleep, but I was pretty damn close to passing out in a sex-induced coma. We were sprawled out across a once-pristine bed covered in soft, white sheets. It was now rather rickety; the frame listed to one side and the gauzy mosquito netting hung by a thread from the broken canopy.

He laughed softly and turned his head, pushing his nose into the hair behind my ear. "The best. The only."

_Huh__? __The _only? _No__, __that__'__s__ impossible__...__and __hilarious__. __I__'__ll __never __let __him__ live __it __down __if __he__'__s __a__ 110-__year__-__old __virgin__..._

The very idea was enough to wash away my lethargy—and replace it with mischievous energy.

Firm fingertips trailed lightly down the back of my arm as he shifted underneath me. A subtle tension stiffened his body as he inhaled deeply, showing in the grip of his fingers as they came to rest low on my hip. It was like he knew what was coming. It was funny, how I could pick out his moods from only a subtle shift in tension.

Lifting my head so I could meet his eyes, I asked, "Edward...were you a virgin?"

The golden glow of his irises dimmed a bit before he shut his eyelids completely. "I wish." It wasn't quite the embarrassed reaction I'd been expecting. He was certainly uncomfortable with the subject, but he seemed almost...afraid?

"What's wrong? Do you think I'm angry? I should be thanking whoever the lucky bitch was that taught you all those moves...as long as she knows she's never getting a taste of that again. And I wasn't exactly a virgin, either—so it would be kind of hypocritical for me to be mad." He still said nothing, not opening his eyes, not moving underneath me, not even breathing. It was a little disconcerting. _Why__ did __I __have __to __open __my __big__, __fat __mouth__? _"Edward? You're um...you're worrying me here."

Pushing me gently to the side, he sat up in the bed, resting his elbows on raised knees. My mind started running wild with panic.

_I__ should __have __never __said __anything__. __He __was __born __in__ 1901, __for __Christ__'__s __sake__. __He __probably __thinks __I__'__m__ a __huge__, __dirty __whore__. __Note__ to __self__: __if __he__ asks __how __many __guys__, __apply __the __Rule __of __Three_—_which __means __I __have __to __leave__ out __Eric__, __Embry__, __and __Paul__. __I _wish _I__ could__ leave __out __that __ass__, __Tyler__...__but __it__'__s __too __late __for __that __one__._

_Shit__. __I _am_ a __dirty __whore__...__or __I _was.

"Forget I said anything. Can we just go back in time? Five minutes?" It all came out in a rush as I sat up beside him, accidentally twisting another hole in the sheet as I clenched it in my fingers. I wasn't worried about the sheets; they'd have to be trashed after this anyway. It was likely they'd end up in several pieces before the dawn broke.

Still nothing—he did sigh, but I didn't consider that an especially good sign.

When I dared to look his way, I found him watching me, his eyes wary and sad. "What?" I burst out, almost ready to explode from the insecurity that was bottled up inside me. "Will you _please_ say something? It's not like I whored around, but I had boyfriends! And Jesus, it's not like I can give you any diseases or anything! We're fucking vampires!" _That_ got a smile, and it infuriated me. "Oh, this is funny now, is it?" I was fuming.

"Bella, no, that's not it at all." He put a hand on my forearm, sliding it down in a slow caress to link his fingers with mine. With a heavy sigh, he went on. "I've never thought you...'whored around'." He said the words with a sour expression, and I thought he was lying just to make me feel better.

"You can fucking say it," I snapped, emphasizing the curse word to try and get a rise out of him.

"Are you going to let me speak, or just continue to put words in my mouth?" He was scowling now, his eyes flashing with a spark of anger. I shut my mouth with an audible click. It wasn't often that Edward got testy, but I knew enough to shut it when he did. "Bella, I don't care who you were with before you met me. I don't particularly want to have long, in-depth discussions about it, but it doesn't matter to me. You're my mate—don't you know what that means?" His tone had softened, as had his expression.

"Yeah," I mumbled. At least, I thought I did. It meant we couldn't be apart. That all other vampires were deformed donkeys with hairless opossum tails for all we cared.

That I'd rip any other vampire chicks limb from limb if they touched him.

That I'd rather die without him.

"Then you know that you're the only one for me. You know I wouldn't change a thing about you." He squeezed my hand gently and turned his body to face me, abandoning his standoffish posture. God, it just about melted me when he said things like that.

I cracked a small smile. "Not even the newborn stuff? Because even _I__'__d_ change that."

"Well...maybe that," he acknowledged with a smirk before his features fell again. "Though...there are some things about myself I _would_ change. Bella, you know that I've done things I wish I could take back. My virginity is one of them."

"Edward, we don't have to talk about this." Suddenly, I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear about his past conquests any more than he wanted a full synopsis of mine.

"We do. There's something you need to know, but I...I just..." He broke off and ran a hand roughly through his hair. I let him have a moment to compose his thoughts before he began again. "When I left the Cullens, I went through a...dark period." Of course I knew about that—and I couldn't blame him for wanting to eat tasty humans after a blow like he'd been dealt at the hands of those he trusted. It had been the biggest metaphorical 'fuck you' to his family. "I lived the life of a nomadic vampire, and it took me the better part of a decade to wander across the world before I ended up in Italy." There was another pause, and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly, his features compressing into a pained grimace. "Bella...I met someone there—another vampire."

I tried to keep my face blank and encouraging. _Okay__, __so __he__ met __another __vampire__...__that__'__s __not __so __abnormal__. __He__'__s __not __necessarily __talking__ about __a _lady _vampire__, __right__?_

"Her name was Heidi, and we were...together for a while."

_Wrong__!_ The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and the hand that wasn't held in his curled into a claw-like fist. I gritted my teeth, squeezed my eyes shut, and tried to calm down, to push back my possessive ire. He wouldn't continue with the story if I freaked out and got angry. Fucking newborn tendencies...

I'd only managed to calm down a fraction when it got worse.

"I thought, for a while, that it was possible she was my mate. She insisted she was, and I was lonely enough to try and believe her. I think I always knew it was a lie, but I'd been alone in that way for the better part of a century, and it was easy to bury my doubts in the release she offered."

Flashes of Edward entwined with some faceless waif flashed behind my closed eyelids, spearing my cold, dead heart like tiny, barbed daggers. My lower lip began to tremble, and if it had been possible for me to cry, my cheeks would have been wet.

"She wasn't," I all but growled, putting all my conviction into those two words. He brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek, trailing his hand down to cup the side of my neck, and his touch alone was enough to make me open my eyes.

"Love, I know she wasn't. What I feel for you...I have no words to accurately describe. I changed you rather than live without you, even though I wasn't sure you'd want this life...or me." He paused, leaning forward to rest his forehead against mine. "And if you had died, I would have followed you." Another movement, and then we were cheek to cheek, his soft breath whispering over the shell of my ear. "I never felt _anything_ like that for her. Not even close."

I sank into him, sagging against his chest, wishing to God I could stop trembling. He folded his arms around my waist, drawing me into his lap. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, not knowing if I really wanted the answer. It was scary, knowing he'd left out something this big after all we'd been through. What else was there? What other huge secret or omission was just hanging out there?

Could I ever really be sure I knew everything?

As much as it frightened me, I knew I had to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was a man very much set in his ways, and it was hard for him to discuss his past. But I didn't doubt his love for me. I couldn't—it would break me.

"I don't really know. I was...embarrassed, perhaps. Her manipulation made me look weak, and the fact that I went along with it only proves that."

"Edward, you weren't weak. You were lonely and hurt." I couldn't blame him for looking for comfort after what had happened with his family. He would have been easy pickings for some damn she-devil of a vampire, looking to fuck with someone else's mate...

I recognized the volatile newborn thoughts rising to the surface again. It wasn't easy to push them back, but I did; I was proud of myself for catching the disjointed, roiling thoughts before they took over. Maybe I was improving?

He sighed quietly. "Thank you for that. It still doesn't change the fact that wish I could take it back."

"I want you just as you are. Your past is what makes you..._you__._ I wouldn't change you for the world."

"Somehow I doubt that." He rested his cheek on the crown of my head, and I could feel the slight curve of his smile as he replied. "I seem to remember quite a few complaints coming from that mouth of yours. 'Why are you so cryptic, Edward'?" he sighed in a scarily high-pitched falsetto.

"Edward," I sighed, turning my face into his chest to smother my snort, "I'm trying to be the dutiful, supportive mate, here."

He laughed outright and dropped a kiss on my temple. "I love you."

My response was automatic and mirrored his. Slowly, his fingers traced a slow path up and down the length of my arm. I snuggled deeper into his lap, nuzzling my nose into the curve of his neck. Filling my lungs with his comforting scent, I shut my eyes and let myself drift, letting the soft, steady rhythm of his touch soothe away the tension of our conversation. I exhaled with a soft murmur, surprised when it vibrated in the base of my throat.

"Did I just purr?" Pulling back, I met his startled gaze. I wasn't sure if it was because of my new-found ability or because I moved like vampire lightning.

"I believe you did," he said with a slow smile. "Do it again."

Taking another deep breath I attempted to recreate the noise, to no avail. "I can't!" Huffing out a sigh, I tried again, getting extremely frustrated when it still didn't work.

Edward laid his hand against the side of my neck, tilting my jaw so I'd look at him. "It's okay, Bella. You'll figure it out. You always do." His gentle, adoring expression helped to calm my irritation. He leaned forward, his lips touching mine softly as he guided me to my back on the bed. The kiss became more insistent; deeper, harder, the intensity growing so fast I could barely keep up. His tongue was warm and slick, tracing the inner faces of my lips before stroking slowly across my own.

Narrow hips wedged between my thighs as he rested his weight fully atop me and banded one arm beneath my back. He finally dragged his mouth from mine, raking his lips and teeth down my chin to press his open mouth against the hollow of my throat. I felt his tongue come out to trace wet lines on my skin, and his breath wafted across the moisture, making me shiver. My breath was trapped in my chest, and when I finally managed to force it out, another soft, murmuring purr emerged from my throat.

He laughed softly, and the sound of it, the _feeling_ of it, had me arching against him. "Told you, love. Perhaps you just need the...proper incentive." A shift of his hips punctuated the words, driving home the suggestive bent. I felt like I could do anything as long as I had Edward Cullen next to me...or behind me...or on top of me...

And once again, I was hit with horrible mental images of Edward in those very same positions—with someone else. Someone else had tried to claim him, make him hers...and it was just so..._wrong_. Perhaps it was hypocritical of me to care, but it was so much different for him. That woman, that bitch of a vampire, had _lied _to him; she'd encouraged him to lie to himself.

Another sound emerged from deep in my chest, the purr morphing into a possessive growl. The urge to stake my claim, to take all this angry lust building up inside me and mark every inch of him as mine, became a living, pulsing, expanding mass inside my belly, slowly infiltrating every fiber and cell of me, until all I knew was the flashing red heat behind my eyelids and the tingling rush triggered by the contact of his skin against mine. My hands flew to his shoulders, fingertips digging into the firm swells of muscle that flexed with his movements, anchoring myself to him in the sudden storm of emotion that swept over and threatened to swallow me under.

Edward lifted his head, his lips slipping from my neck, the absence of his mouth and tongue cooling my skin rapidly. "Bella? What is it?" he asked softly, his voice husky and deep, thick want.

Instead of answering, I pressed my open mouth to the swell of his shoulder, letting him feel the edge of my teeth. His hand fisted in the hair at the back of my head, pulling tight as I sank my teeth into his flesh; not hard enough to break skin, but enough to draw a startled gasp of pain from his lips. I hooked one leg around his calf, digging my heel into the swell of muscle just below his knee as I writhed underneath him in an effort to get closer.

He suddenly yanked his arm from beneath me and pressed his palm to the side of my face, forcing me to let go. His eyes burned hot and intense when I finally raised my lashes, licking the taste of him from my lips.

"What's gotten into you?" Fixing his gaze on my mouth, he dragged his thumb across my lower lip, wiping away the residual moisture. His erection pressed low and prominent between my legs, but he refused to move that crucial distance that would send him inside of me, no matter how much I pulled and tugged and urged him forward.

Frustrated with his refusal to cooperate, I rolled us so I was on top. He refused to let go of my hair and held my face mere inches from his, searching my expression. "Bella, tell me what's wrong."

"You...she's not..." I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, trying to concentrate on the feeling of his body beneath mine. I had to calm down...but the only thing that would work was having him—and erasing every thought of her from his mind. "You're mine. Not hers," I finally forced out, hating that I sounded like some kind of jealous, possessive idiot only capable of stringing a few words together at one time.

His breath hit my lips as he sighed. "Oh, Bella..." Long fingers loosened their grip, sliding through my hair to caress the length of my back. "You're my only reason..." he paused, a low sound of pain slipping past his lips. "You're the only one that matters."

I rested my forehead atop his, a dry sob gathering in my chest. "I know! I just...I can't..." No more words would come out. There was no way I could accurately describe this desire to make sure he was mine. To prove to him—and to myself—that we were two parts of the same whole. Because no matter how many times he said the words, I didn't know if I could get those images out of my head.

Underneath it all, one question was bouncing around in my brain, destroying my security, my very sanity—if he'd made this mistake before with someone else, how did I know he wasn't making it with me?

My brain had taken his admission and run wild with it; my newborn state amplifying some of the worst traits I'd carried through from my human life: insecurity and fear. I realized that while I was no longer terrified of this life, I _was_ terrified of being alone. Breath rushed in and out of my lungs, faster and faster, and even though breathing wasn't necessary, I started to feel as if I was suffocating.

If he left me...

My chest felt like it was about to crack open. The very thought was agonizing, paralyzing. It was enough to make me want to try and rip myself apart.

"I love _you__,_ Bella. I told you, we mate for life. We _can__'__t_ leave our mates. It's impossible." I shook my head, still trying to fight back the panic that was overwhelming me. It was so unreasonable, so ridiculous, but I just couldn't stop it—I was terrified. Edward was still speaking, still trying to reassure me, but nothing registered, until I heard, "I left her, love. I never looked back. But I will never—_could __never_—leave you."

He tried to sit up underneath me, but I pinned his shoulders to the bed and kissed him, trying to communicate in the only way I knew how at that moment. He was giving in; I could tell.

"Bella," he mumbled against my mouth, his stomach muscles knotting under my spread thighs. I folded my legs along his sides and leaned into him, nipping at his lips, pressing my chest to his as he relented, losing himself in the kiss. Lower, I rocked my pelvis against him, and we both moaned when the tip of him lined up in the perfect place. His hands clamped onto my hips, pushing me down onto his cock.

I sat up, bracing my hands against his chest, eyes fixed on his closed lids. Those thick lashes fluttered open as I sank down over him until he was completely buried inside of me. His lips parted on a harsh breath and his eyes darkened as I rocked back and forth. The tips of his fingers dug into the flesh of my hips as he quickened the pace, thrusting up hard and forcing a cry from my lungs.

Without warning, he sat up beneath me, and I found I had no more desire to keep him pinned down. He snaked an arm around my back and yanked me closer, grasping my chin with his other hand, rubbing his thumb over my parted lips, scraping it over the edges of my teeth. Our noses touched, tip to tip, bumping together as he thrust into me again and again, his eyes glinting like tarnished gold as they bored into mine.

"It's only ever been you." It was a desperate vow, low and gritty, that tumbled from his lips. "It will always be you."

"Yes," I breathed, clutching at the back of his neck with one hand and scraping my fingernails over his chest with the other. He groaned at the contact, gritting his teeth as he dragged his hand down my throat to palm my breasts. I ground harder against him, meeting his every thrust with a roll of my hips. Tension built low and hot where we were joined, our bodies pressed so tightly together that his hard belly brushed against my clit in the most perfect way. I was going to come...

"My Bella," he whispered, his mouth landing clumsily on mine as I tightened around him, my whole body lighting up until I thought I'd burn away to ash. He held me tightly as I came, the lambent depths of his eyes locked on mine as he whispered how much he loved me over and over again.

Emotionally and physically drained, my eyelids dropped closed and the world tumbled, Edward's heavy weight landing atop me and pressing me into the ruined sheets. I barely realized the shift in position as he raised one of my knees and grunted as he pushed into me again, leaving me clutching at his hair, his neck, his shoulders. He was slow and deliberate as he moved in and out, never lifting his mouth from mine, his tongue slipping past my lips in a matching rhythm. His hands were everywhere—fingertips trailing over my thighs, my hips, my ribs; anywhere he could reach.

He rested his forehead against mine as he broke our kiss, his ragged breath feathering over my wet lips. I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me, his lids at half-mast. "I love you," he whispered as his hips jerked hard, the movements of his lithe body becoming erratic and frenzied.

"Love you," I answered, relaxing against him and letting my body mold to his as he came, shaking and shuddering above me.

-x-

"I'm sorry I freaked out," I whispered softly in the quiet. We hadn't moved from the bed, preferring to lie tangled up in each other as the afternoon turned to twilight.

"Don't be sorry. I'll happily spend the rest of forever making sure you know there's no one else for me, in this world or any other," he promised, one of his hands making a slow circuit up and down the length of my back, his touch incredibly gentle. I snuggled deeper into the crook of his neck and shoulder, soaking in the sensations of bare skin and comforting closeness as we lay there entwined on the ruined bed.

I couldn't believe there had been a time when I didn't know if I wanted this. Now, there was nothing else I wanted more. "I must have hurt you so much," I whispered, my stomach clenching into a thousand knots as I remembered all the hurtful things I'd said. "When I kept pushing you away..."

He didn't respond for a moment, just kept stroking my back slowly, up and down. "Yes, it hurt, but Bella, I don't blame you for reacting in such a way."

"That doesn't mean I shouldn't apologize."

"There's no need for an apology, love. There's nothing to forgive. Being with you here and now...that's more than I've ever hoped for."

I lifted my head to meet his gaze, searching his eyes. There was the barest hint of guardedness hidden there behind his warm smile. "Is there a 'but' in that statement?"

He laughed softly and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Not one. I've never been more sure of anything than the way I feel about you."

_God__, __I __love __this__ man_. "Me, too, Edward." _Me__, __too__._

* * *

_I__ estimate __we__'__ve__ got __about__ 6 __chapters __left__, __and __I__'__m __working __on __them__. __I__'__ll __try __to__ be __speedier__. __Thank __you __all __for __reading__, __and __thanks __for __the __lovely __comments__. __I__ really __enjoy__ reading __them__, __even __if __I__ don__'__t __reply__...__yeah__, __I __know__, __I __suck__. __I __forget __that __you __all __can__'__t __read__ my __mind __and __know __how __awesome__ I __think __they __are__. __I__'__ll __try __to __be __better__. _

_My __entry __for __the __High__ Times __Contest__, "__In __Case __of __Emergency__," __won__ 3__rd __place__ in __the __Judges__' __scoring__. __If __you __haven__'__t __already__ read__ it__, __check __it __out __if __you__'__re __in __the __mood__ for __silliness__ and __a __little __bit __of __sexing__. It's posted on my profile now, so you can find it there. __I__'__ll __be __continuing __it __after __I __finish __this __one__, __so __I __hope __you __enjoy__. _

_Thanks __again__ for __reading__. _


	20. Free Radical

_Twilight isn't mine. I just make it a little bit weird._

_AmeryMarie, Yoga_Gal, and famouslyso pre-read and fix my silly mistakes. Thanks, girls!_

_I know, my updating frequency leaves a lot to be desired recently. I suck. I've got no excuses. So...on with the story, since I've left you waiting for so long!_

* * *

**-****Chapter**** 21: ****Free**** Radical****-**

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.

.**  
**

Edward and I spent most of that first week on the island marking our territory—on each other—in various secluded (and not-so-secluded) locations. It _was_ a private island, after all.

I still felt really guilty and embarrassed after my freak-out, but Edward did his best to distract me. We went for long swims under the blazing sun, where our bodies glittered enough to rival the shiny scales of the fish that scattered whenever we got within yards of them. The sight of all our sparkling skin in such bright sunlight was shockingly hilarious to me, as I apparently hadn't gotten the full effect during our outing in the Amazon. No wonder we let humans continue to spread rumors about us burning up in the sunlight—that was a genius move, really. We really did look like we'd come out on the losing end of a glitter fight in the dressing room of a strip club.

We snorkeled without masks and breathing tubes, pointing out the brightly colored corals and the soft, plushy-looking anemones to one another as we swam underwater for hours. We saw a lot of those—since they were sedentary animals, they couldn't run away when they sensed us. Everything else scattered at the first sign of our sparkly, unnatural selves; though we did figure out that if we sunk to the bottom and froze for a while, the fish would come back, as long as we didn't move.

Finally, a useful and interesting reason for our "vampire statue" ability.

When we weren't outside or memorizing one another in the biblical sense, I steadily plowed my way through the surprisingly extensive library that was hidden in a cozy little study at the south end of the house. Edward often sat with me, slowly working his way through _On The Road_ (which amused me to no end, because if there ever was a beatnik vampire, it was Edward). When he grew tired of Kerouac, he busied himself with the state of the art laptop he'd brought with him. Though he said the satellite Internet connection left a lot to be desired, it was good enough to keep him (and therefore me) up do date on the world's current events. It also allowed us to keep somewhat in contact with the other Cullens without having to actually speak with them, which made Edward happy. So far, they hadn't had much to report. Tyler was actually keeping his big mouth shut without any interference from Emmett, and as of yet there was no sign of Team Vampire: World Police.

Whoops. I meant the _Volturi_. Pretentious windbags.

Early in our stay, we hiked the entire length of the island so I could familiarize myself with all the landmarks. There weren't many, as the island was pretty small, but what it lacked in size it made up for in natural beauty. A small, spring-fed stream split the island nearly in two, providing the small wildlife population with a source of clean drinking water. A stone-rimmed pool in the center of the cool, forested interior made the perfect spot to lounge in the dappled sun. It quickly became one of my favorite spots.

Of course, it was also the perfect place to hunt, as the animals were naturally drawn to the watering hole. I grudgingly took what was available, hoping and praying the day would come when I could join Edward on the mainland to hunt for more appetizing prey. Rats tasted exactly like one would guess—even here in the South Atlantic, on a pristine, beautiful island, they tasted like garbage. The chickens weren't much better. You know that saying, 'it tastes like chicken'? Well, chicken tasted like a whole lot of nothing—better than the rats, but still. It was for those reasons that three weeks into our stay on the island, I took my first capybara. I felt like I'd murdered the Easter Bunny or something. But at least it tasted a hell of a lot better than my other options, even if it was a Rodent of Unusual Size.

I really missed the Amazon and all its tasty carnivore treats, and I wanted to throw a huge fit the first time Edward made a trip to the mainland to feed without me. I couldn't begrudge him the opportunity to eat an appetizing meal, since he wasn't the one who went rabid at the mere whiff of a human, but I could still be mad. Of course, he was properly apologetic and did his best to make me forget all about it when he got back. I think I just about forgot my own name that day.

When I returned to the house one afternoon, my belly full of my mediocre dinner, I found Edward in the useless kitchen, pacing back and forth as he frowned into the large, unwieldy handset of the satellite phone.

"I thought you were keeping an eye on him," he was saying as he raked a hand through his hair. I paused in the archway, waiting for him to see me standing there.

"_We __were__, __but __we__ didn__'__t __think __it __was __necessary __to__ watch __him __at __all__ hours__. __He __made __no__ more__ attempts __to__ contact __the__ media__ after __you __left__. __I__'__m __not __sure __why__—__perhaps __he__ thought __he__'__d__ milked __the __situation__ for __all __it __was __worth__."_ With my super vampire bat ears, it was easy to hear Carlisle clearly.

Edward sighed and shook his head. "It doesn't make any sense for him to just disappear." He looked up, finding me hovering in the doorway, and waved me in with a worn smile.

"Tyler's gone?" I whispered, though I didn't know why—it was probably just a leftover custom from my human life. The good Doctor on the other end of the line would almost certainly hear anything I said. Edward nodded, his mouth flattening into a grim line when Carlisle spoke again.

"_There __may__ be__ a __way__ we __can __use __this__ to __our__ advantage__." _As usual, the words were delivered in his calm, reasonable manner, like we were discussing the weather instead of someone's probable demise. If the man wasn't a vampire, he'd be a robot. An android. Like Data from _Star __Trek__: __The__ Next__ Generation__._

"I don't see how. Someone else just vanishing into thin air? Plus, he's extremely tangled up in the details of Bella's disappearance...it doesn't look good. It's too much attention, and there's no way it won't be attributed to the same suspect in Bella's case—me."

I quickly came over to his side and hopped up to sit on the counter, close enough to touch him if he needed it.

"_We __still __have __Bella__'__s__ bloody__ uniform__. __We __saved __it __in__ case__ we__ needed__ to __point __the__ police __in__ a__ different__ direction__. __If __they __happen __to __find__ it__ hidden __among __Tyler__'__s__ belongings__, __the __case __will__ solve __itself __in __the __minds __of __the __humans__—__they__'__ll __assume__ he__'__s__ responsible__ and__ fled __to __avoid__ capture__. __Then__ you __and__ Bella__ can __return__ to __Washington, __if __you__'__d __like__."_

My eyes snapped up to meet Edward's. I wasn't ready to go back. Washington held painful memories of my parents, and though the sharp edges were fading with time and my transformation, the distance was serving me much better. If we returned, I'd still want to see them, to let them know I was okay—sickeningly happy, even—but I couldn't take that chance, not yet. It was too dangerous. I also didn't want my bloody clothes showing up, providing my parents with yet another inconclusive lead in the case. It would only reopen the wounds that were just beginning to heal.

Sensing my distress, he took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before he spoke. "Has Alice seen anything?"

I scowled; even if Carlisle said 'no,' it didn't mean Her Bitchiness wasn't fucking with us.

"_Nothing __of __note__, __but __she__'__s__ the __reason__ we__ know__ Tyler__ didn__'__t__ disappear__ voluntarily__. __She__ was__ watching __his__ decisions__; __we__ would__ have __known __if__ he__ made __conscious __plans __to __leave __the__ area__."_

"Then perhaps we should hold off on planting anything at Tyler's home. Let's save that trump card in case we really need it. I don't want to cause Bella's parents any more pain." His eyes were warm and soft; apologetic and sad.

I reached up and cupped his cheek, giving him a tremulous smile. He was still so remorseful over what had happened that day, but I vowed to spend every day making sure he knew that I no longer blamed him. I loved him. I might even go so far as to say it had all happened for a reason—Edward and I were meant to be together, no matter how it had come about.

"_That __might __be__ a __good __plan__, __Edward__. __It__'__s __better__ not__ to __create__ any __more__ waves__ unless__ we__ have __to__. __Things __are __taken__ care__ of__ on__ this__ end__, __so __you __just __concentrate__ on __helping __Bella __acclimate __to __this __life__. __I__'__ll __contact__ you __with__ any __further __developments__."_

"Thank you, Carlisle. I appreciate it." Edward covered my hand with his own and offered me a tender smile. I hoped he was drawing strength and comfort from my presence. I knew it was never easy for him to talk with his family, though phone contact was probably much better than actually living in their home like we had been.

"_Son__?" _Carlisle asked, and it was impossible to miss the way Edward stiffened.

"Yes?" he replied through clenched teeth. I kept waiting for his rebuke, but it never came.

"_I __know __you __and __Alice__ have__ a __lot__ of __issues __to__ work__ out__. __She__'__s __always__ believed __that __the __ends __justified__ the__ means__, __no__ matter __what __the__ present __cost__._" He paused, which gave my mind time to wander.

What did that mean? Had Alice seen me coming? And how hadn't she seen what their betrayal would do to Edward, the man she called brother? I suddenly remembered my first real conversation with Rose. When she'd said she knew what they'd done to Edward was unforgivable, but she could live with it if it brought him to me...

Horror trickled down my spine like congealing blood, slithering and coating everything in its path.

What if they'd done that to him _because __of __me__?_

My vision went blurry and I blinked several times, trying to bring myself back from the verge of panic. I just couldn't deal with it right now, not when we were so happy, so in love... No. I wouldn't think about this. We were mated. We would have come together no matter what.

I sucked in a breath and realized that Carlisle was speaking again. _"__I __hate __what__ we __did__ to __you__, __but __I __don__'__t __hate__ where__ it__ has__ brought __you__. __Thank __you __for __letting__ me __help __you __with __this__. __I__ know __I__ can __never __make __up __for__ what__ I__ did__...__helping__ Alice __that __way__...__but __I__'__m __forever__ grateful__ you__'__re __giving__ me __a__ chance __to__ make __it__ up __to__ you__."_

Edward cleared his throat. "I'm not sure what to say."

"_It__'__s __fine__, __Edward__. __I __just__ wanted __you __to __know__."_

Silence filled the room, the tension so thick I could feel it pressing upon my skull.

"Consider yourself heard," Edward finally returned, clenching his eyes shut. If he squeezed the handset of the phone any harder, he'd turn it to dust. "Thanks for the information. Call us if there's anything new." He cut the connection and slammed the phone down onto the granite counter top.

I didn't know what to say—shaken as I was from my thoughts, I couldn't offer him words of reassurance. Instead, I just threw my arms around his neck and hugged him close. Tension radiated off him in hot waves, but his shoulders sagged a bit beneath my arms. He tucked his face into my hair and took a deep breath, like he was breathing me in. I did the same, clutching at his hair and pressing my lips to his skin. After a few moments, his arms snaked around my waist as he stepped between my knees, still silent, but the strength of his embrace spoke volumes. There wasn't a spare inch between us as I squeezed his sides between my thighs and locked my ankles behind his back, holding him with all my might.

Words were few and far between that night as we languished in each other, but the near tangible weight of worry hung overhead, almost like another presence in the room. It had been easy to pretend there was just us over the past few weeks, but as always, the real world had a way of intruding when we least expected it. I just had to trust that we'd make it through on the other side together, no matter what.

.

-x-

.

"Checkmate." Edward smoothly knocked my pawn to the side with his queen and regarded me innocently, lazily resting his chin on his hand.

"I let you win," I said sourly, barely resisting the urge to tip the board over. Not like it would matter, since he'd already beaten me. In four freaking moves. "Why are we playing this stupid game again? Whatever happened to fun games, like Sorry or Uno?" I sighed and leaned back against the arm of the couch, looking out into the pouring rain. The clouds that had begun to gather last night were now dumping inordinate amounts of rain on the island, and Edward had decided it provided the perfect opportunity for him to teach me how to play chess. It didn't take me long to realize that I was probably the only person on the planet that was naive enough to take him on.

"Chess is the intellectual's game, Bella. Plus, since I can't read your mind, you're the only person that can present me with a challenge…theoretically." One corner of his mouth kicked up in a smirk, and just for that, I did tip the board onto the floor.

"Stop being so smug. This game is boring. B-O-R-I-N-G."

"And you've officially left the newborn stage and stomped fully into toddler," he muttered, picking up the carved marble pieces, using vampire speed to do so. It was more entertaining watching him gather them up than playing the damn game. I briefly considered getting a deck of cards from the desk and teaching him a little game called Fifty-two Pick-up.

"If I'm a toddler, then you should be in jail, old man," I retorted, pointing at his groin when he stood. He promptly gave me the finger and moved to put the chess set back on the shelf. Seeing him flip me the bird sent me into hysterics. I really was rubbing off on him. By the time I finished laughing, he'd settled himself next to me, one arm slung over the back of the sofa behind me.

"Well, since chess is out, what do you suggest we do with our afternoon?" he asked, picking up a lock of my hair and rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger.

"Get a T.V.," I said under my breath, trying to ignore the ticklish sensation of him playing with my hair. If he kept that up, we'd be in bed again, and we were down to the last set of sheets. The rest were in shreds.

"You're really that eager to watch soap operas in Portuguese?"

I blinked at him sweetly. "Would you translate for me?"

He dropped my hair and gave me a baleful look. "Absolutely not."

"You don't want to teach me Portuguese?"

"I never said that—I just don't want to be forced to watch that human drivel."

I patted his cheek and dropped a kiss on his lips. "How ethnocentric of you." Pausing, I let my mind wander as I thought aloud. "Though I'm not sure if that's the correct term. Are we merely a really weird yet awesome ethnic group? I don't see how we could be a different species altogether. I mean, we all started out as humans—vampires are probably the epitome of an anthropomorphic creature…"

"Bella," he interrupted with an amused shake of his head. "I have no idea. Since humans can't know about us, I doubt they'll ever figure out a way to taxonomically classify vampires."

"Well, actually they have, since we were all humans at one time, right? Obviously, we'd share the same branch of the cladogram as _Homo __sapiens__ sapiens_." His eyes took on a glazed look as I rushed on, but I was too excited about my train of thought to care. "But I don't think we're separate species, because we can interbreed."

"That's ridiculous, Bella," Edward scoffed. "Humans and vampires can't produce viable offspring."

"Oh, but they do! We reproduce through biting, right? I mean, you bit me, I burned in hell for what seemed like months, and I woke up a vampire." I tossed my hands in the air. "Reproduction!"

We both frowned as the thought sunk in.

"I'm not sure I like the direction this conversation is going," Edward said uneasily. I had to agree; the conversation was taking a decidedly incestuous turn. Though, it was technically asexual reproduction, since no gametes were exchanged, which meant vampires might all be some sort of clone of the original vamp. Like bloodsucking aloe plants.

And that was where I forced my brain to stop. I was mildly creeping myself out.

"Me neither," I agreed. "Let's talk about something else. Like when you're going to take me back to the Amazon."

He laughed, dropping his head onto the back of the couch. "Bella…"

"I know, I know. I'll eat someone," I griped.

"I promise, I'll take you back. As many times as you want—as soon as it's safe." He roped his arm around my shoulders and tugged me closer.

I rested my head in the crook of his neck and sighed. "Safety is overrated. The food at this resort leaves a lot to be desired."

"But what about the company?" he asked, his voice taking on that low and rumbly tone that never failed to make me squirm.

I cleared my throat and tucked my face into his neck so he wouldn't catch me smiling. "Eh…it's passable."

He stiffened, a little growl rumbling in his chest. "_Passable__?_"

"Yep. Passable." I started to get up off the couch, but he grabbed my wrist and jerked me down into his lap. I couldn't keep from laughing as we grappled back and forth until I let him push me to my back.

"Take it back," he insisted, pressing his lips to the hollow of my neck. The edges of his teeth scraped back and forth, just a hint of real force behind the gesture. His breath was warm and wet against my skin, and when he gently swiped his tongue over the divot between my collarbones, I shivered.

Barely swallowing back a moan, I kept teasing. It wouldn't do to give in so easily; I couldn't have him think I was putty in his hands or anything—though I completely was. "I don't know...I think you'll have to be more convincing."

He actually growled. "I'll show you convincing." In a flash he was up, pulling me to my feet. "Come on."

"What?" I asked, feeling a little dazed. I had a feeling this wasn't headed in the direction I'd like—meaning we weren't headed off to break another piece of furniture in the midst of our wild sexcapades.

He looked down at me with a little smirk; he was enjoying the way he flustered me, as usual. "You need to hunt, and I'm going to make it fun." Not likely, unless he'd somehow smuggled in a bunch of crocodiles.

I simply raised my brows, waiting for him to elaborate.

Leaning closer, he placed his lips at my ear and whispered, "You're going to hunt _me__._"

.

-x-

.

We negotiated a thirty-second head start, but I only gave him ten.

He'd never know, and if he suspected, he'd never be able to prove it. Just another pro that he couldn't read my mind, with an added benefit—it would drive him crazy. Of course, cheating didn't help me at all. It was fifteen minutes later and I still wasn't sure where he was. Edward was like a fucking chameleon, and it was really pissing me off. I'd searched everywhere on this godforsaken island and I still couldn't find him.

Okay, so maybe I exaggerated, but it sure felt like I'd been tromping all over the place. Plus, it was raining, and I didn't like being wet any more as a vampire than I had as a human.

I paused at the edge of the clearing that housed the swimming hole, noting a trace of his scent on the rough bark of an ancient mahogany tree. He was close. Now I just had to figure out if he was lurking somewhere on the forest floor or perched high in the canopy...

Flattening myself against the tree trunk, I scanned the immediate area, barely holding back a gasp of excitement when I spotted a flash of copper hidden among the brush that bordered the opposite side of the rock-lined pool. Pulling a deep breath into my lungs as the light breeze blew my way and carried a stronger blast of his clean, sweet scent toward me, I concentrated on remaining undetected. I was downwind, which gave me a great advantage.

_Stay __out __of __sight__, __Bella__. _

I couldn't wait to put him in his place. If I could pin him down on my first attempt...oh, the victory would be sweet. Option after option played out in my mind: I could scale the tree and take him from above; I could zip in from the side and snatch the shirt from his back... I just couldn't sneak up from behind—he'd catch my scent instantly on the rain-thickened wind. Peering around the tree again, I noted that he—or rather, his hair—hadn't moved.

Grateful for the overcast day because I wouldn't have to worry about throwing off stupid prisms that would bounce off the glass-like surface of the pool, I weighed my options of approach. He knew I was fond of attacking from above, since I'd just about mastered maneuvering through the treetops. He'd definitely be watching for any aerial attacks. It would be much more difficult, but if I approached him from the ground, I'd be more likely to catch him off guard.

So, I'd just have to hide in plain sight and pray he'd underestimate my stalking abilities. If that didn't work, I supposed I could always take off my shirt and distract him with my tits. All I had to do was shine those headlights right in his eyes and he'd be making like a deer in no time. Of course, that wouldn't be fair—he was always hypnotized by my boobs. They'd render him completely useless, and then he'd complain for the rest of the day about how I'd cheated him out of victory.

I crept closer, choosing a vantage point slightly diagonal from his position in the underbrush. Miraculously, I managed to avoid making any noise as I neared, getting closer and closer until I could make out the sweep of his eyelashes as he blinked away the misty rain. The fact that he hadn't spotted me was incredible, but I wasn't about to question it.

_Let__'__s __keep __it __that__ way__, __Cullen__. __Just __keep__ those __pretty __eyes __on__ anything__ but__ me__..._

I waited until he blinked, and then slipped silently into the water, praying any ripples I caused would be obscured by the steady patter of raindrops. The pool was deep enough to provide adequate cover; I used it to my full advantage and walked easily across the bottom, marveling at the way I sank like a stone and didn't have to work to keep myself from floating to the surface. Reaching the other side of the pool, I rose just high enough to make sure he wasn't watching, half wishing for some kind of periscope. Just because it would look cool.

Okay, maybe it wouldn't look cool, but one seemed totally appropriate for the situation.

I had to focus. I'd never succeed in taking him if my thoughts were all over the place.

_He__'__s __not__ going __to __see__ me__. __He_ can't_ see __me__. _

As I waited, sounds began to filter down to the bottom of the pool. Through the veil of the water, I heard Edward sigh softly as he shifted, his shoes scraping against the leaf-covered ground. It was amazing, the things I could still hear underwater. I knew I'd be able to hear if he spoke, and I panicked, wondering if he could hear the way my feet dragged across the rock bottom of the pool.

_Stealth__, __Bella__. __Complete __and__ total__ stealth__, __or __you__ lose__._

I did _not_ want to lose.

Fully immersed in the moment, I crawled up the side of one wall until I was millimeters from surfacing. Images became clearer, sharper, and the sounds of the forest became more readily apparent. From this angle, Edward's hair was a smear of rusty brown that gleamed among green leaves, and while it made a beautiful sight, it also made him a sitting duck.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face as I crouched, all my muscles tensing, in preparation to take him down. It had to be fast and hard, or it would never work. I'd have to spring at him with enough force to pin him down long enough to get him to admit my victory.

_You__ can__'__t__ see__ me__, __Cullen__...__you__ don__'__t__ have __a__ chance__._

Propelling myself off the side wall, I burst out of the water at vampire speed, almost faster than my eyes could track, and crashed into the bush. My palms hit his shoulders with a loud crack like that of thunder, and his eyes went wide as he realized I had him pinned to the ground.

"Gotcha," I practically purred, my grin a mile wide, my nose less than an inch from his.

"It would appear so," he mumbled after a moment, looking none too pleased that I'd managed to outsmart him. He blinked a few times, and then a light came into his eyes. "Holy shit," he breathed, his eyebrows shooting up near his hairline. His hands clamped onto my upper arms and he sucked in a breath. "You have a gift," he rushed out, a brilliant smile lighting up his face. Perched on top of him as I was, it made me want to spread out along his body and cover his lips with my mouth. He looked so excited and carefree, something I wasn't sure I'd ever seen since we'd met.

I couldn't pass up the opportunity to be cheeky. "Of course I do—it takes a tremendous one to deal with you."

Raising a sardonic brow, he laughed. "Right. I think it might be the other way around." I grinned even wider, because when he was right, he was right.

"Do you really think I have a gift?" All kidding aside, I was eager to hear what it might be, because I had no idea. As far as I could tell, my only gift seemed to lie in being the most useless, uncoordinated vampire to ever walk the earth.

"I couldn't _see_ you, Bella! Not until you touched me."

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* * *

_I've borrowed the "Rodent of Unusual Size" term from The Princess Bride. Long live the RoUS!_

_"Team Vampire: World Police" is borrowed from the movie Team America: World Police. Thanks to AmeryMarie for that one._

_I also don't own Star Trek: The Next Generation. I can't believe I even mentioned that in the fic, but I couldn't resist. I blame my nerdy husband. But I swear to you, he's not a Trekkie._

_I'm also fail at review replying as always, but I read them all and love every single comment. I know, you've heard it all before... Boo to me. That said, if you're so inclined to leave a review...you know it will make my day. _

_Thank you all for reading!  
_


	21. Redox Pair

_Twilight isn't mine. I just make it a little bit weird._

_AmeryMarie, Yoga_Gal, and famouslyso pre-read and fix my silly mistakes. Thanks, girls!_

_Look, an update within a somewhat reasonable amount of time! And it's extra long._

_(insert TWSS joke here.)_

* * *

**-****Chapter**** 21: ****Redox ****Pair****-**

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.

.

"But that's...are you saying I was invisible? Seriously? I swear, I thought you were looking right at me when I came out of the water!"

He nodded enthusiastically, looking like a little kid at his first baseball game or something. Sitting up with me in his lap, he brushed drops of water from his face. I'd been dripping all over him, my hair hanging in a wet curtain around both of us.

"How did I do it? I wasn't even trying to do anything but sneak up on you!" My mind was racing. It was like I'd won the super power lottery! One thing didn't make sense though—I distinctly remembered seeing _myself_ as I'd closed in on Edward. How could that be?

"Well, I'm not sure. Do you remember what you were thinking while you approached me? Were you concentrating on any specific thing?" he asked, drawing me to sit across from him on a large, flat rock that bordered the pool. The rain had dwindled to a light drizzle, barely noticeable now. Edward's hair had darkened to a shiny mahogany; water dripped slowly from strands that were matted to his forehead, and my fingertips itched with the need to brush them away. Droplets of mist condensed on his eyelashes, the sight of which was almost enough to make me forget about my new super-power.

"Bella?" He stroked a finger over the back of my hand and smiled. "Where did you go?"

Damn it. He was so freaking distracting. I wanted to blame the overeager connections in my flighty newborn brain, but I had the feeling I'd always react this way when I was around Edward. Instead of admitting that I'd gotten lost in mooning over the sheer deliciousness of his wet self, I just shook my head. "I...I was trying to remember what happened before I caught your ass."

His smile lowered into a smirk, and I had to fight back the urge to lick it off his lips. "You certainly caught me." The bright gold of his irises darkened as he glanced down almost shyly, but then he shook his head and his expression firmed as he refocused. "As much as I'd like to take advantage of all those sexy looks you're giving me, we need to figure out what happened earlier."

_Oh__. __Right__._ "I really don't know what I could have been doing...though I _do_ know I kept hoping you wouldn't see me."

His lips pursed a bit as he thought, drawing my eyes like a magnet. "Nothing else?"

"Well, I kept talking to myself—in my head," I clarified. "I kept repeating stuff like, 'Don't see me, don't see me.' Do you think that could be it?"

"Only one way to find out," he returned with a shrug. "Can you try it now?"

"But what if I have to be really...I don't know, _feeling_ it before it happens?" It was a little overwhelming, thinking about just trying to turn on a talent I didn't even know I was using. "Maybe you should spur me on or something?" It came out as more of a question, which made him laugh.

"Are you asking me to scare you?" he asked.

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Show me your mean face, Cullen."

"You know I don't have a mean face when it comes to you," he replied sweetly, cocky as ever.

"Oh, you're right...it's more like a constipated face. That's the one you make when you're annoyed." His expression flattened quickly, and I couldn't help but laugh. "That's the one."

"I'm so glad I can amuse you," he mumbled, tugging at the front of his hair. I expected him to start pinching the bridge of his nose any second now, like he did when he was _really_ annoyed. "Bella, are you stalling?"

Damn it. He had me. "I'm afraid I won't be able to do it on command," I admitted, poking a finger-sized hole in the rock next to my leg. He took my hand between both of his, likely to keep me from burrowing all the way through the stone on which we sat.

"Bella, it's okay. It took me months to learn to filter out unwanted thoughts. I don't expect you to master this in minutes. We have plenty of time to practice," he assured with a soft smile. Leaning closer, he dropped a light kiss on the tip of my nose. "Close your eyes." His voice dropped lower, to a soft whisper. "Relax. Try to recover the same mindset you had when you were sneaking up on me. Can you do that for me?"

I'd do damn well anything as long as he kept murmuring to me in that sex voice. "Okay." Letting my eyelids flutter shut, I took a deep breath and tried to think invisible thoughts. "How about now?"

"Nope, not yet."

_I__'__m __Bella__, __the__ invisible __vampire__, __you__ can__'__t__ see __me__!_

"Now?"

"Not yet."

_Chameleon Bella, at your service..._

I sighed. "This isn't working, is it?"

"I can still see you...hmmm," he mused, and I opened my eyes to find him rubbing his chin with his index finger in a very handsome thinking cliche. "Let's get you focused on something, and then we'll try again. Perhaps I could watch you hunt?"

"But I don't really need to sneak up on the capybaras. They're pretty fucking slow," I griped. "Oh, but I could sneak up on a jaguar!" I raised my brows hopefully and tried to smile pretty.

"Nice try, Bella." His expression was like that of a frustrated parent.

"Well, it was worth a shot." I shrugged and stood, pivoted on my heel to flounce away and promptly lost my balance on the slick, flat rock, tumbling headfirst into the pool. Edward was laughing as I surfaced, lying flat on his back and clutching his belly.

I felt like sinking back under the surface of the water for the next few hours. Once again, I'd proven myself to be the crappiest vampire ever created. Even when blessed with super speed and strength, I still couldn't shake my case of the clumsies. It was mortifying, and I wanted to disappear. Groaning, I dropped my head into my hands and waited for him to quit cackling.

"Bella? Where did you go? You're doing it, love!" Edward suddenly shouted.

"What? I am?" My head popped back up and I found him craning his neck, his eyes searching the immediate area.

"There you are! Yes, you were doing it!"

I frowned, wishing I could be happier about it. "Well, I guess it does make sense...I was wishing I could disappear into a hole for a few hours."

"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad," he offered, failing to keep his lips from twitching. At least he wasn't laughing outright anymore, but I still wanted to whack him upside the head like I'd seen Rose do to Emmett back at the Cullens' place.

I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed, lazily kicking my feet as I treaded water. "Easy for you to say. You never do anything that makes you look like a complete moron, Mr. Graceful."

"Bella, don't say that," he said, crouching down to offer me a hand. He pulled me up and out of the pool easily, wrapping his arms around my waist even though I was completely soaked. I guessed it didn't matter, since the drizzle had picked back up into a moderate shower, and he was just as wet. "You never look like a _complete_ moron."

"Gee, thanks," I returned flatly, peering up at him with the most unappreciative look I could muster.

Grinning unrepentantly, he dropped a quick kiss on the tip of my nose and murmured, "Now, Bella, you know you'd be sad if I stopped teasing you and went back to my stodgy old self." I let my hands relax against his chest, uncurling from tense, startled fists. The top three buttons of his shirt were un-buttoned, flawlessly carrying off a look that would be completely ridiculous on most other men, but was utterly lickable on Edward. It made a girl want to yank his shirt the rest of the way open just so you can touch that sparse dusting of hair right between his pecs.

"I don't know, he was kind of brooding and sexy. And I believe my words were _creepy_ and _cryptic_. _Stodgy_ was never mentioned. I was actually born around the turn of the most _recent_ century."

"You really should take the opportunity to add to your vocabulary, love. Broaden your horizons."

I grinned. "Let me tell you a little story about a couple of housewares—a pot and a kettle."

"That doesn't even apply to me—I've definitely broadened my horizons, Bella. After ninety-one years like this, I've finally found you. I have something I was beginning to doubt I'd ever have."

I swear to God I felt a phantom blush race up over my chest and into my cheeks. It wasn't one of those turned-on blushes. This one was more like the blush that follows an adrenaline rush. With a certainty I'd never felt before, I knew what he was going to say.

"I have the love of a mate. Someone to share everything with me. A friend who's loyal and true. A woman who's so beautiful that I'll never get enough of her; so much so that she makes me forget to breathe. But no matter how pretty the package, she's even lovelier here." His lips brushed over my temple and his hand smoothed up my back, stopping behind where my heart used to beat.

He was the one who stole all my air.

"And the best part? She thinks I'm sexy," he said, his low voice falling on my skin in a warmer caress than the tepid raindrops that fell upon us. His bottom lip poked out slightly as he smiled, and I couldn't resist the urge to kiss him, grazing that supple curve with my teeth. He followed when I pulled away, pressing his lips to mine with a little moan that went all the way down to my toes. When I turned my head to the side, he laid a little trail of kisses over my cheekbone before nipping at my earlobe.

"Maybe just a little," I hedged, arching my back and pushing against his shoulders in a very fake attempt to wiggle away from his grasp.

"You're a horrible liar, love."

"No, I'm not! You believed me when I said you were sexy the first time, didn't you?" I couldn't help the laugh that came out at the end, when he growled and cinched his hands around my waist, lifting my feet off the ground.

"You really shouldn't have said that," he threatened in a low, rough voice as he stepped toward the pool.

"Empty threats! You say that all the time and never follow through!" I trash-talked, putting up a half-hearted fight to wiggle out of his arms. There were times when I sort of liked being manhandled by Edward. And when he jumped into the water with me in his arms and pinned me against the rock wall, letting me feel just how sexy he thought _I_ was, I decided it was definitely one of those times.

.

-x-

.

It took me almost two months to learn to make myself disappear on purpose, and even then I couldn't always do it at will. Most of the time, if something broke my concentration or distracted me, my gift seemed to disappear. We spent hours upon hours testing and experimenting, changing and tweaking variables until I was ready to rip my hair out—or Edward's.

We _had_ managed to figure a few things out—the most interesting thing by far was that I never became truly invisible. I could always see myself, which led us to deduce that it was more of a mental block than actual physical disappearance. Something in my brain was scrambling the visual signals of others. Whenever Edward got close enough to touch me, the shield was broken. My scent would also give me away if I wasn't downwind, and I had to stay clear of anything with reflective properties.

One afternoon, I worked my way through Vonnegut's entire backlog as I waited for Edward to return from the mainland. I snapped my book shut when I heard the low rumble of the boat engine nearing the island, rushing outside to greet him at the dock. The craft was loaded down with supplies—namely new sheets, towels, and smaller pieces of furniture that needed to be replaced after I'd broken and/or shredded them. I was delighted to see a huge cardboard box marked with the Sony logo that depicted a large, flat-screen television.

"Holy shit, you got me a T.V.!" I yelled, jumping up and down as he hopped out of the boat and began tying it off.

"Of course I did," he said, straightening to his full height and wiping his hands on the jeans that rode low on his hips. "I figured it might keep you from bugging me to take you to the mainland for a while." His smile was sly, but I knew that despite his teasing, he only got it to make me happy. He was always doing things like that: from ordering entire backlogs of my favorite authors to buying every season of sitcoms on DVD that I remembered loving as a human. And now I had something to watch them on besides the laptop.

"You're so sweet. I don't care what everyone else says about you." I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"Listening to the voices in your head again?" he shot right back, ducking his head and pressing a soft kiss in the crook of my neck. "You do realize you're developing some schizoid qualities, love?"

"Spoken by the man who _always_ hears everyone else inside his head..."

"You be quiet," he growled, tossing me over his shoulder and carting me down the dock in a fireman's carry.

"Hey, you're forgetting the T.V.!" I protested, shoving my hand under his shorts and going right for his balls. One thing I'd discovered—vampire testicles were just as sensitive as human ones. Hit a guy vampire there, and he was going down. Why, I had no idea, since they were evolutionarily defunct structures, but I didn't question any advantage it gave me. All it took was one threat to the vampiric family jewels and Edward surrendered faster than the French in any combat situation.

"Stop!" he begged, putting me down immediately. "Leave those alone, Bella! Do you want to unman me?"

"Of course not...but I have to let you know I mean business."

"Message received," he grumbled, adjusting his package gingerly. "Well, since you're apparently not amenable to me carting you off to have my way with you," he paused, sighing, "I guess we'll have to unload the boat."

"Like anything would keep you from having your way with me."

"Except you being a brat."

"Not even that. You'd still do me."

"Not until we're done unloading this boat."

"I don't even mind. I've been wishing for a T.V. for so damn long," I said honestly, hopping onto the boat to grab the most important cargo—besides Edward, anyway—the T.V.

This vampire business made us a hell of a lot more efficient at the unloading job, and we were finished with it all in under ten minutes. We unloaded a plethora of board games and puzzles and brain-teasers, some that were popular here in Brazil. I grinned at him when I spotted a bunch of workbooks on learning Portuguese.

Shrugging, he said, "I remembered you mentioned learning Portuguese, so...I could teach you. Those would supplement the lessons."

My grin was so wide my cheeks almost hurt. "I think that would be awesome, Edward. Thank you, so much." Really sure not what else to say because I was so happy, I turned my attention to a box full of new books, ranging from futuristic science fiction and totalitarian societies to the latest espionage thrillers. Edward devoured those types of books when he was looking for a little "lighter" reading.

Next were several sets of 1400 thread-count Egyptian cotton bedsheets, and I grimaced as I thought that they'd likely end up shredded just like their previous counterparts. I felt pretty guilty about it—they were just so soft and luxurious. The only thing that felt better on my skin was Edward's naked flesh. The sheets were a very _distant_ second, but still.

The sun had appeared and was dipping toward the horizon when we finished; after all, he'd been gone to the mainland for most of the day. He took my hand in his as he led me back out to the dock and onto the boat.

After guiding me to sit in one of the padded seats in the front, he reached into the compartment below the captain's seat and removed a twine-wrapped bundle, letting the seat drop shut with a thunk. In his hand he held a sage green wad of material, dotted in a random pattern with rust-colored spots.

"I brought you something else," he said, casually ripping the twine and shaking out the bundle of fabric. The scent of something delicious wafted toward me, piquing my interest. My throat began to burn, venom welling up in my mouth until I had to swallow it back or start drooling all over the place. I wanted to grab whatever he held and toss it to the deck, and then roll all over it. Then I thought I just might eat the whole damn thing—it smelled _that_ good. But I stayed where I was, though I wanted to rip it apart.

"Is that..." I had to stop to swallow back another mouthful of venom, "from a human?" I croaked, my hand flying up to clutch at my throat. It felt like I was being hit with a blowtorch to the vocal cords.

"Yes," he answered nonchalantly, waving what I realized was a doctor's scrub top. It flickered in the breeze like a red flag. I had a brief daydream of me stomping my foot in the dust and blowing puffs of steam from my nostrils. I even had a gold ring hanging from my nose.

"W-where did you get that?" I asked, my entire body tensing with the need to spring, to rip and tear the blood-soaked garment from his hands.

"I borrowed it from a local hospital." He continued to act like there was nothing unusual, shifting to a wide-legged stance as he clasped his hands behind his back. A growl rumbled in my chest as the scrubs disappeared from my sight. I was across the boat before I realized I'd even moved, covering the distance in one leap. The craft rocked with the impact, sending Edward staggering to the port side. "Bella, you need to calm yourself."

"Give it to me!" I demanded with a hiss, ashamed of the way I was acting, though not enough to do anything about it. God, why did I want it so badly? It wasn't like there was a person in those scrubs!

_But __I __can __sniff __them__...__maybe __even __lick __them__...__God__, __they __smell __so __good__..._

Deliberately, Edward held the scrubs off the side of the boat, pinching the tiniest bit of the fabric between his thumb and index finger. It looked as if the slightest ocean breeze would send it fluttering into the water.

"No, no, no! Don't drop it!" I was begging, fighting the urge to drop to my knees and pray to him, as long as he didn't let that lovely-smelling piece of fabric fall into the ocean. "I swear to God, I'll cut you off if you do!" I babbled, almost shaking with fear at the thought that the traces of tasty blood might be lost.

"You've got to get a hold of yourself, love. I brought this so you could get acclimated to the human scent. The sooner you learn to control yourself, the sooner I can take you to the mainland."

The mainland. That meant jaguars and crocodiles; freakishly huge anacondas and giant piranhas.

_Wait__...__giant __piranhas __and __fifty__-__foot __anacondas __only __exist__ in __horror __movies__. __And __they __only __eat __the __creeps __like __Jon __Voight__. _

"God, Edward...but it smells so good!" By now, I was swallowing back mouthfuls upon mouthfuls of venom, because it smelled just that divine. It was like...well, I couldn't even compare it to my favorite foods as a human, because chocolate and cheesecake and filet mignon all sounded sort of gross at the moment. This blood smelled better than all those things put together.

"Control, love. That's what you need to develop. How are you ever going to be able to walk among humans with me if you can't keep from tasting them?"

"Goddamn it, why do you have to be so reasonable?" I asked as I crept closer, until there were only millimeters separating us.

Edward sat in the captain's chair, still holding the scrubs out over the surf. His legs spread wide, drawing my eyes like the strongest magnet to metal. My mind flicked between his body and the blood-covered fabric at a mile a minute, my newborn brain unable to decide which obsession on which it wanted to fixate.

"It's just the way I am, Bella," he purred, a wide smile splitting his face. It was at that moment that my brain split in three, finding it extremely hard to decide whether to stare at the scrubs, his crotch, or his beautiful smile. "You can have me, or you can make a dive for the scrubs." He waved the cotton over the side of the boat playfully.

My body decided for me—I was on his lap in milliseconds, straddling his pelvis and linking my hands behind his neck.

"What if I want both?" I asked in a low voice, surprised at the low timbre. I personified sex kitten. I might have even turned myself on.

"You can only have one." He shrugged in mock regret before getting close again, rubbing his lips over mine as he linked his hands at the small of my back. I could feel the scrubs dangling over my ass, just brushing the swell of flesh above the tops of my thighs. The smell of the blood-soaked garment was thick and entrancing, but Edward was far more appealing. His well-fed eyes were a beautiful, pristine shade of topaz, darkening as the timbre of his voice lowered.

"How badly do you want those scrubs now?" he asked, setting his lips to mine. His hands traveled up and down my back in a leisurely pattern, drawing the bloody garment along my skin. The captivating fragrance piqued my sense of smell to the point of distraction, but his gentle lips and talented tongue held me captive, swiping over mine and tangling in a sensuous collision of wills. He was pitting my two most powerful instincts against one another—sex and food.

Whoever said the stomach always wins is full of shit, because apparently my libido had on the boxing gloves and was spoiling for a good fight.

"I'd rather have you," I answered when he finally gave me enough room to speak. It was only mostly honest—my throat still burned like lava: the slow and pulsing kind, relentless in its steady, molten heat... But the thought of putting an end to the verbal foreplay we were dancing around was almost more painful.

"As you wish," he promised softly, which snapped me out of the downward spiral of primal newborn tangents. "But first, I want to really test you. If you succeed, I promise you'll be very happy with your reward."

Slowly, he straightened and brought the scrubs between us, causing more of that cloying, mesmerizing scent to waft up toward my nose. My gaze was immediately drawn to them, locking on like a heat-seeking missile. Releasing his grip on my waist, he folded the piece of fabric into a wide strip.

"Trust me?" I nodded. "Then I just want to try one thing." He raised the bloodied cloth up near my face, and I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to breathe. If I couldn't see it or smell it, maybe I'd forget it was there. Maybe I wouldn't want to rip it to shreds with my teeth. A tiny, involuntary shiver sped up my spine. "Stay very still," he whispered, his fingers grazing my hair as they tied the scrubs in a snug knot behind my head. The evening sunlight glowed warm and bright through the thin green cotton, but the blindfold adequately took away my sense of sight.

And drowned me in the scent of luscious, sweet (if not slightly stale), blood.

Edward added another sensation to the mix, closing the distance between our upper bodies once again. His chest was sun-warmed and hard against mine, perfect for teasing my already hard nipples.

"There, that's not so bad, is it?"

"No," I let out on the heels of a shaky exhale. He brought one palm around and slipped it inside the deep v-neck of the tunic I wore as a swimsuit cover-up, his long fingers sliding underneath the edge of my lime-green bikini. His touch caused me to suck in a breath, inundating my head with the spicy scent of blood and the more familiar notes of Edward himself.

Lifting my breast from the cup of the bikini, he kissed and nipped at the flesh around my nipple, opening his mouth wide against my skin. I let my head fall back and arched my spine, letting out a little moan when the position put me in contact with his hard-on.

"Touch me, Bella. Show me where you want me to touch you." He kissed a line across the middle of my chest and tugged the other half of the bikini aside, immediately sucking my nipple into his mouth.

With shaky fingertips, I dragged my hands down over his chest and slipped them underneath the hem of his shirt. I had his belt and jeans undone in seconds and pulled him free from his boxers, almost whimpering when I felt the slickness at the head of his cock. I suddenly found myself gingerly picking my way to the floor of the boat, kneeling at his feet. Placing my hands just above his knees, I slid my palms up over his thighs and up his abs, making fists in the fabric of his shirt and ripping it in half like I'd fantasized about earlier. Slipping my arms around his waist, I hugged him close. The bloodstained blindfold was trapped between my face and his skin, sinuously mixing the calming, arousing scent of my mate with the luscious fragrance of my natural food source.

Again I swallowed back a mouthful of venom before pressing my lips just under his belly button, letting the thin trail of fine, reddish-brown hairs below tickle my face. I took deliberate care to avoid contact with where he wanted me most, dragging my hands down the length of his body to gently rake my fingernails over the exposed parts of his thighs. He hurriedly urged me back, and I heard him push his jeans down off his hips. They landed in the bottom of the boat with a soft rustle of fabric, and he was yanking me back again within seconds.

"Bella, please," he half-grunted, half-groaned, hitching his hips up into my face.

"Tell me what you want," I pushed, letting my breath fill his bellybutton as I turned the tables on him. He sucked in a breath, his abdomen going hard like granite against my cheek. A memory flashed through my head—of me, fragile and human, and him, the strongest, gentlest human statue. And while it sent a pang shooting right where my heart used to beat, it also gave me infinite happiness; because I knew I would have this for the rest of forever. I didn't know how to tell him what I was feeling, and that made me desperate to show him. "Tell me," I repeat, scraping my teeth just above his hip. "Please."

I laid my fingertips along the groove of his spine and traced up and down slowly, hoping to drive him insane with the deceptively docile touch. From the way he arched his hips into my face, I got the idea that it had worked rather well.

"Your mouth. I want your tongue. And your lips. I want you to suck...on me," he babbled, softly stroking shaky fingertips over the crown of my head and not so subtly trying to guide my mouth down over his erection.

A little surge of very feminine satisfaction flared to life inside me, curving my lips. _I__'__ve__ reduced __him __to __four__-__word__ sentences__! __I__'__ll__ be __sure__ to __remember __this__...__for __posterity __or __something__. __The __day __Edward __Cullen __babbled__. __It__ should __go __down __in __history__..._ I pressed my smile to the sharp bone of his hip, letting him gently urge me lower and lower. Finally, I took pity on my poor, deprived vampire and wrapped my hand around the base of his cock, aiming so I could brush my lips along his length before placing a prolonged kiss at the very tip. I couldn't resist giving him a little swipe of my tongue before I pulled back.

As soon as I stopped, his hands tightened on my head, his muscles tensing to push me back down. Knowing that I'd driven him that far made me feel like the sexiest woman alive, and that sent me back to him before he had the chance to try and force me. The human blood that tainted my blindfold was all but forgotten, just an accompaniment to the incredibly stimulating tableau in front of me—one I couldn't see, but that didn't matter when I could touch, taste, hear and _feel_ him.

I let him in, opening my lips and taking him from the tip of my tongue all the way to the back of my throat.

"Bella," he moaned rather loudly, drawing out the end into an unintelligible groan. Using both hands to assist my mouth, I started moving, the fingers of one hand exploring lower as I did exactly as he'd asked me. His breath started coming in short gasps and his hands tugged sharply at my hair. I knew what he liked: every stroke that made him shiver; the exact pressure with which to squeeze; precisely where to flick my tongue in a way that would send him over the edge. But I didn't do any of those things, choosing to play with him just as he played with me by using the bloodstained scrubs as a blindfold. I let my fingers wander over the soft, textured skin of his sac to the smooth patch behind.

He responded by pulling harder on my hair; I took it as encouragement, venturing farther...close to No Man's Land...

"Bella!" he choked out, his whole body going rigid—and not in the good way. "What are you—holy shit, stop!" _Well__. __Apparently __it__'__s__ also __No __Woman__'__s __Land__._

I was so shocked that I forgot to resist when he yanked me away from him by the hair. I froze, blinking up at him, though it was useless with the blindfold. "What?"

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

I let out a breath. "Bridging the final frontier?" I tentatively supplied, unable to stop the grin that made my mouth twitch. "I thought you'd like that."

"Are you...WHY?" I could tell he was horrified by the sound of his voice. And while the whole thing should have been awkward as hell, I was incredibly amused. Even nearly a century later, Edward was still so very...Edwardian.

"Well...I thought it was supposed to feel good. And it's not like you use that thing for anything else. At least, you haven't for ninety-something years." I kept on talking, because I obviously couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Exit only," he said succinctly, and I could almost picture the way his eyebrows would almost touch atop his nose as he scowled. "That's all it's ever going to be."

"Okay, okay, I get it. No touching Edward's No-No Place!" Of course, just saying that had me dissolving into giggles.

"Just get your fingers away from there!" he growled. I held up both hands, fingers spread wide, and laughed even harder. "Oh, you think it's so funny."

"No, I don't think, I _know_," I taunted, wiggling my index finger at him. Maybe that was taking it a little bit far, but when had I ever been known for my tact?

"Why do you go out of your way to emasculate me?" he sighed, more to himself than to me. Taking pity on him, I threw my arms around his waist and laid my head in his lap, noting his flagging erection against my cheek. Okay, _that_, I was sad about.

"I'm sorry; I can't help it," I replied lightly, lifting my head. I was getting a little tired of the blindfold and was about to rip it off, but Edward's voice stopped me cold.

"You're not sorry." The determined, sensually cruel cast to his words sent a little thrill of fear shooting straight down my spine.

"You're right. I'm really not." I couldn't deny it—I wanted him to try and make me sorry. In really dirty ways. "I'm so mean to you."

"Come here," he suddenly snapped, taking me by surprise. Quickly, I got to my feet and he turned me away from him, his hands rough around my hips. "Spread your legs."

His voice dropped markedly as he dug his fingers into my flesh, pulling me back toward him and roughly inserting his knees between mine, hooking his feet around my shins as he slid forward to the edge of the chair. The rocking motion of the boat sent me off balance, but Edward's firm grip kept me steady, only to pull my hips down and back suddenly, one hand leaving my side. I briefly wondered what he was going to do, but forgot every thought I'd ever had when he untied one of the lime green ties at my hip and let it dangle there, leaving me bare. I could feel him, once again hard and ready between my thighs. The tip of his erection slipped inside me, where he froze for a minute.

"You feel ready. Fuck," he muttered in between kissing and biting my shoulder.

I nodded, not really sure what he meant, but I'd do anything to get him deeper inside me at that moment. There was light pressure at the back of my head, and then the blindfold was gone, light flooding my sensitive eyes. Edward brought one hand up to shield them as he thrust his hips up roughly, pulling my head back against his shoulder.

"Ready for that?" he asked, and while I thought it was meant to be taunting, but it only turned me on even more.

"I'm ready, I'm ready," I gasped out, my lungs suddenly way too small for my racing body.

He groaned as he started moving, only marginally gentling his thrusts. I clutched at his forearm with both hands, tugging it from my eyes so I could see everything when Edward made me come. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward's reddish-brown hair gleaming like freshly polished copper in the sunlight, hanging down toward my shoulder.

"So fucking ready for me. Ready to take what I give you." He put more force behind his hips and clamped his hand down on my other shoulder, holding me in place to take him at the perfect angle. Letting go of his arm with one hand, I let it drift down between my legs, pressing the tip of my middle finger to my clit, smoothing slow, wet circles around and around. Everything tightened; I suddenly felt so full, stretched tightly around him as I arched in pleasure, coming hard. I wondered if we were literally melting into the landscape: we were becoming the rich azure blues and sea greens; dissolving into particles smaller than the fine white sand that covered the beach; burning brighter than the sun that blazed as it dipped toward the horizon.

"I feel you coming," he whispered into my neck, not moving his head from where it rested on my shoulder. I barely managed to gasp a yes before my body melted back against his, every ounce of strength leaving me with the last pulses of my climax. He took over, both hands bracketing my hips, helping me to meet his increasingly rough thrusts as he let go. I loved the way he moaned into my neck, gently biting down on the tendon there as he slowed, spilling into me.

I was about to ask him if he still felt emasculated after that show of dominance when I heard the low hum of a powerful engine. Edward seemed to notice it at the same time, his body going from relaxed to rigid in a split second. It sounded like a small craft, built for speed, and it was entirely too close. With our magnified hearing, we should have heard the boat long before it entered our line of sight—but we were too preoccupied with one another.

Edward quickly slid off the seat with me and we landed in a heap next to his pants. I hurriedly tugged my bathing suit back into place, tucking my breasts back inside the cups and haphazardly tying the bottoms back together. You know, because if we were clothed, no one would be able to to tell what we'd been doing.

Right.

Edward pulled his jeans back on and fastened them, neglecting to pull up the zipper. I decided not to tell him. Really, there wasn't enough time, since the boat was almost upon us. I could tell him later that his barn door was open and reap the benefits of his embarrassment.

"Who the hell could that be?" I whispered, grabbing his hand as we sat stock-still in the bottom of the boat.

Edward just looked at me, his expression a strange mixture of apology and disbelief. I had no idea what was wrong with him, and I was out of time to ask. The other boat had pulled up to our dock and the engine cut; the whisper of the waves rushed in loudly in the roaring silence that followed. Heeled footsteps sounded on the deck in a relaxed rhythm, strolling along at a slow pace that struck me as strange. Whoever they were, they were obviously in no hurry.

I watched Edward's face, looking for some kind of clue as to what the hell was going on. He was obviously reading our visitor, and he didn't like what he found in their thoughts. The footsteps stopped directly behind me and Edward scowled, recognition plain on his face. Unable to stand the suspense any more, I craned my neck around to see who had interrupted our time in paradise.

Staring right at the both of us was a lone woman, her long, mahogany-colored hair blowing behind her in the breeze.

I knew one thing for certain: I really wished I'd made Edward zip up his jeans.

.

.

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* * *

Holy shit, who's that? And what's Bella gonna do about it?

Until next time, thanks for reading, and special thanks for the reviews. I love reading them so much. They're like little presents in my inbox.


	22. Covalent Bonds

_*sneaks in* Um, hi! Did you miss me? I don't know what to say, other than if I'm not really happy with something, I'm not going to put it up until I'm satisfied. I hope I didn't lose you with that major fail in updating. I'm about halfway through the next chapter, so hopefully it won't be too long before it's up. _

_Thanks to AmeryMarie, famouslyso, and Yoga_Gal for prereading, and special thanks to KristenLynn1121 for bringing a fresh pair of eyes to this chapter. You girls are the best. _**  
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**Previously, on Vampire Days of Our Lives...** (sorry, I couldn't resist).

_Heeled footsteps sounded on the deck in a relaxed rhythm, strolling along at a slow pace that struck me as strange. Whoever they were, they were obviously in no hurry._

_I watched Edward's face, looking for some kind of clue as to what the hell was going on. He was obviously reading our visitor, and he didn't like what he found in their thoughts. The footsteps stopped directly behind me and Edward scowled, recognition plain on his face. Unable to stand the suspense any more, I craned my neck around to see who had interrupted our time in paradise._

_Staring right at the both of us was a lone woman, her long, mahogany-colored hair blowing behind her in the breeze._

_I knew one thing for certain: I really wished I'd made Edward zip up his jeans._

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**-Chapter 22: Covalent Bonds-**

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I didn't want this chick anywhere _near_ Edward or his almost-exposed junk.

If it wasn't for the sparkling that gave her away as vampire, I would have mistaken her for a dumb as rocks model that got lost on her way to the _Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Issue_ photo shoot.

Well, she still _could_ be dumb as rocks. She was obviously in the wrong place and definitely uninvited.

But, Edward recognized her …

A sinking suspicion took root in my now-nervous stomach. I had a feeling who this was, and if I was right, I wasn't sure if I could keep myself from ripping out all her hair. Right before I tried to strangle her with it.

Beyond words, I continued to glare at her, and Edward remained silent as well. She was staring straight at us, looking right through me, like I was nothing. I tightened my grip on Edward's hand in an effort to keep from leaping at this Barbie-looking bitch. Just as I was about to say "fuck it" and leap on her to start a girl-fight of epic _Jersey Shore_ proportions (complete with clawed acrylic nails, sequined hoochie dresses, bling, and spray tans), she turned and continued her stroll toward the beach like she hadn't even seen us.

I whipped my head around, mouth open to ask Edward what the hell was going on, but he covered my mouth swiftly, shaking his head. He waited until she was poking around the perimeter of the house before he mouthed, "She didn't see us."

My brows rose so high I feared they might fly away. "What?" I mouthed back. What followed was an interesting yet mostly silent conversation—good thing it was pretty easy to read lips now that I was a vampire.

"She couldn't see us. She thought this was just an empty boat."

"So … that was because of me? I _do_ remember wanting to disappear when we heard that boat."

"It had to have been. You must have been projecting your gift."

"But … I thought it didn't work whenever we touched. I was holding your hand the whole time."

"Maybe we were wrong. Maybe you made us both disappear when you touched me. It must be—that's why I can see you when we make physical contact. Because it makes us both invisible," he finished quickly, squeezing my hand.

I blinked several times, trying to process the situation. If that was true, then she hadn't seen Edward's undone zipper. She hadn't seen him at all, which made me feel a little better.

God, I was such a pathetic, jealous idiot.

Still at a loss, I pointed at his crotch. "You might want to zip up your pants."

He gaped at me, his brows moving up and down so much it would have been comical had we not been freaked out about our uninvited guest. Finally, he jerked up the zipper. "I'll never understand you."

"You love it." I hooked a finger in one of his belt loops and tugged. _You love_ me, _and you'd better not be forgetting it. _

_Especially with the supermodel vampire on the loose. _

"I love _you_," he replied, no hint of laughter on his face. His eyes were deep and serious, pleading for understanding, and I was suddenly scared. Who was this chick, and what did she want with us?

"I love you, too," I echoed, my gaze locking with his. I tried to conceal all the worry and insecurity I felt, but I knew it didn't work. Thankfully, somehow Edward could tell I was feeling fragile. What he did was very similar to what I'd do in the same situation. He tried to antagonize me.

"Why didn't you tell me about the damned zipper?" he demanded, still keeping his voice confined to a low whisper.

I shrugged, peering toward the house to find the party crasher slipping in right through the front door. I knew it wouldn't have made a difference, but I found myself wishing I'd locked it. Just to make things more difficult for the bitch.

I made a face, playing along in spite of the tense situation. It helped me cope somehow. "I was going to tease you."

"Well, that didn't exactly work out, now did it?" he asked, a smirk hovering at one corner of his mouth.

I was full-on pouting now. "No. It just made me really freaking jealous when that harpy showed up. The last thing I wanted was to give some bimbo a glimpse of your goods! I thought it was probably some of your family!" Letting out a frustrated growl, I raked a hand through my hair—and caught my fingers in the ponytail I'd forgotten. Jesus, I was turning into Edward, what with all the hair-molesting and the brooding.

"You just remember that the next time you fuck me so well I forget to zip up my pants," he said lowly, his eyes going dark at the memory.

My throat burned, and whether it was residual thirst from the blood-stained scrubs or lust, I wasn't sure. I had a sneaky feeling it was lust. Edward was that damn dangerous. "Stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you want me to strip you naked and do you all over again."

"Now that you mention it …"

"Don't tempt me. I still have to deal with our uninvited guest before you're getting any." I scowled, remembering his confession of how he'd entertained the thought of another as his mate. "And it might be longer than that."

He snickered softly; at least he was still mindful of our uninvited guest. "Not likely." Placing one finger right at the center of my bottom lip, he trailed it down over my chin, stopping right between my breasts. He rested his hand between my cleavage, torturing and teasing me with the slightest wiggle of his index finger and that killer smile.

I had to stop and close my eyes as I took a deep breath, needing all my focus just to gather my wits in the face of his … his … vampire witchcraft. Ugh.

Yeah, I wanted to strangle myself for being so damn easy, but what was done was done. I couldn't do anything about it.

"You're not playing fair," I whined, letting my head fall back.

He pressed his lips to the base of my neck and dragged them up to the point of my chin. "I don't play fair when I'm fighting for something I want."

_Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. I'm done for. _I knew he wanted me, but it still gave me a thrill every time I heard him say so; even in that cryptic way of his.

His other hand flattened between my shoulder blades and pulled me closer, tempting, taunting.

"You're killing me," I panted, pressing closer in spite of myself.

"I'll kill you with the 'little death'," he promised, and it was that which made me finally push him away. It was impossible to think otherwise.

"You just did that, evil vampire." Lifting my head, I pushed him away from me—with great effort.

"I know. I couldn't help it."

"You, 'Mr. Self-Control?"

"I have none when it comes to you."

I giggled. "Find some. You're gonna need it. Did you forget about our _guest_?"

He gave me a dirty look. "Of course not!"

"And are you ever going to tell me who that is?" I hissed, angrily yanking at a loose fiber in the carpet that lined the bottom of the boat. He was lucky I was only limiting the wrath of my hands to his property and not his pretty face. "I know you recognized her!"

When he didn't respond right away, I looked up to find him watching me, unease written all over his face. "Heidi."

_Crap. I was right._ Why did my jealous paranoia have to pick this time to be exactly correct?

"Heidi," I repeated as flatly as I could. "The same Heidi who told you she was your _mate_? The same Heidi who somehow managed to fool the _mind reader_?"

"Bella," he started, reaching for my hand.

I leaned away, denying him the comfort of my touch. "What is she doing here, Edward?"

"I'm not entirely sure," he started tentatively, but I cut him off before he could elaborate.

"What? You _read minds!_" I burst out in frustration, having to make a big effort to keep my voice down. We were no longer alone in our tropical oasis, and it was making me crazy.

"She's a _liar_, Bella, that's her gift! She misleads. How do you think she succeeded in conning me the first time? I can hear what she's projecting, but I can't be sure about her real motives. She's very … convincing."

I arched a disbelieving brow at him and crossed my arms over my chest; I couldn't help it. I was pissed, and he was the only outlet for my frustration. "Her gift is _lying_? There's such a thing?"

"Questions, coming from the Invisible Woman?" he asked, aggravation lacing his voice.

I sniffed, reluctantly conceding he was right. "Well, then what's she _projecting?_ I swear to God, if she thinks she's going to get you back, I'll …" I had to squelch the growl that built up in my chest at the very thought. Suddenly, I wished I'd asked Edward to teach me how to beat up model-looking, lying female vampires while we'd been sequestered away on this island instead of teaching me how to play chess.

"She's looking for me. I couldn't see anything about you. I'm not sure if she knows you're here or not."

Well, if she thought she was going to get Edward, I was sure as hell gonna let her know there was room for only one girl—er, vampire—on this island _and_ in his life, and that was _me_. "She's just here for you." _I'll kill her, damn it_.

He paused, his expression becoming wooden. I had no idea what that meant; I was afraid to even guess. It couldn't be good. "Yes."

A whirlwind of thoughts blasted through my mind. I remembered when I'd first awoken to this life, when I wasn't sure if I wanted the man that stood before me. When I wasn't sure if I even wanted this existence.

When I'd been utterly, completely stupid.

And now I was paying for it. This was my punishment. Someone else wanted _my_ mate. Someone else was after what had been given freely to me. Someone else was after the one person on this earth to which I belonged … and who completely _owned_ me.

At that moment, I was feeling completely un-vampire-like—and more along the lines of an irrationally jealous woman. We were talking completely insane, "bitch, get yo' hands off my man!" rage. To alleviate the negative energy, I started bouncing my leg, the motion so quick that the boat vibrated. I wished I could pace, wished I could work out some of this nervous energy by stalking up and down the beach, but that was out of the question since it would undoubtedly attract unwanted attention. Alternately, I clenched my jaw and muttered derogatory terms under my breath.

"We need to get somewhere more secure before we finish this conversation," Edward said, grasping my wrist gently. "We should head to the other side of the island; we'll have more cover there."

"Fine." Why did he have to be right all the time, damn it? "How are we going to get there without the Mate Stealer finding us?"

He grinned, indicating the water with a little jerk of his head. "We're going to swim."

.

-x-

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We slipped silently into the water, streaking scant inches beneath the surface to the other side of the island. Any marine life that wasn't sedentary scattered, shooting away from us in flashes of bright color and metallic, shiny scales. Edward ran a quick scan of our intruder's thoughts before we approached the shore to see if she was still violating our personal space.

Oh, excuse me—_searching_ the beach house.

Once given the all-clear, I burst out of the water and stalked up the beach, wiping salt water out of my eyes roughly.

"Bella, please, calm down."

"You calm down," I snapped, placing a hand at my forehead. It was actually trembling.

"Love, we have to approach this rationally."

"Could you be rational if one of my exes came back to get me? You weren't exactly rational when you made Tyler piss his pants."

He actually growled and curled his hands into fists at his sides. "Point taken," he conceded. "But we don't know for sure if she's looking for me in a romantic aspect. All I know is she was thinking of me."

"Why the fuck else would she be here? And what the hell was she thinking? Why can't you tell me? Aren't the thoughts you hear pretty specific?" In fact, fuck her reasons for being here; I wanted to make sure her thoughts were clean as a whistle when it came to my mate.

"There's something you don't know."

I heard everything he wasn't saying in the tone of his voice, and it was all bad. Completely awful. How he'd managed to answer none of my questions and shock the hell out of me was a miracle. No, miracles were good things. This was an _anti-miracle_. A freaking catastrophe. "I'm not going to like this, am I?"

He sighed. "Probably not."

"Shit," I muttered. "Lay it on me. Today can't get any worse."

"After the sex we just had, I think I'm offended." His effort to lighten the moment was lost on me; even he knew it.

"You know very well that's not what I'm talking about. And excuse me if I'm not really that concerned about offending you at the moment. Just tell me!"

"Heidi is with the Volturi."

My world dropped, causing my knees to weaken, and Edward had to grasp me under the arms to hold me up. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Shoving him away from me, I sank to the sand, sitting on my heels. He knelt in front of me in a mirroring position, knees touching mine. I let him stay close, because even though I was angry, I didn't know if I could handle this without some kind of connection, no matter how slight.

"Unfortunately not. She's a … _hunter_, for lack of a better word."

"They need a hunter? Why? It's ridiculously easy to catch people."

"There are many vampires living in Volterra, the city where the Volturi make their home; it's a sort of 'home base,' for our kind. When they feed, they need a great deal of blood. Heidi rounds up the 'food'."

"Like an Old West cattle drive or something?"

"Something like that. She would … _gather_ groups of tourists."

I swallowed hard. "For blood?"

"Yes."

"Okay … I can handle that. I mean, they need to eat, right? I realize that choosing to survive on animals is the exception, rather than the rule. I can't begrudge them their food, no matter how much I want to."

Edward looked down at the bare tree roots under our feet, their spindly protrusions digging into the sand at the edge of the beach like bony fingers.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

He raised sad eyes to my face, the golden color practically clouding over as he opened his mouth. Nothing came out.

And then I knew.

"You did it too," I whispered, voicing what he couldn't. "You helped her."

He nodded, averting his gaze. I had to admit, it made sense—I'd follow him anywhere; it was only logical that he'd make the perfect vampire equivalent of the Pied Piper. But I found that what bothered me wasn't so much what he'd done, it was how he obviously hated himself for it. While I didn't _want_ to eat people, from a logical standpoint, it was only natural—they were our prey. Statistically, _we_ were the ones who were different because we chose to abstain from our natural food source.

"Why didn't you tell me? It's not like this whole Volturi subject hasn't come up before." God, would we ever escape those vampire hall monitors? Apparently not, since Edward had worked for them.

"I'm not sure Carlisle and Esme know. I'm sure Alice does because of her visions; perhaps she told them, but I'm not positive. I don't even know why I care … but I didn't—I _don't_—want them to know. It's not exactly something I'm proud of," he trailed off, his body growing more and more tense, misery practically radiating from every line of his frame.

He probably thought I was disgusted, and I had to make him understand that I didn't—_couldn't_, in truth—fault him. The scent of human blood was still a temptation I found almost impossible to resist; I still didn't know if I'd be able to keep myself from attacking a human, should I encounter one. How could I blame him for doing what came naturally?

After taking a moment to compose my thoughts, I said, "Maybe if you'd told me before—when I was still human—I might have freaked. But now that I'm not … I can't really get upset when I still want to slaughter every person I encounter, can I?" Even as I spoke, I knew it was only a half-truth. It was disturbing, that he'd lured countless unsuspecting humans to their deaths, but I found I was willing to forgive most anything when it came to the man in front of me.

Edward's eyes locked on mine in shock, his jaw going slack. "You can't be serious," he whispered, shaking his head. His expression was one of utter bewilderment.

I put my palms on either side of his face, forcing my lips into some semblance of a smile. "You're talking to the woman who chased after three frat boys—_naked_—in the middle of a sexual encounter. To us, humans are like chocolate. Like cheesecake. Like ice-cold water in the middle of Death Valley. Tasty, delicious, sinful, and essential.

"Look, Edward, no matter how bad it sounds, it's not going to make me hate you. I get the feeling that you almost want it to. I mean, are you _trying_ to drive me away?"

"I … no, of course not!" he protested, his voice getting just a bit too loud for the situation. We _were_ supposed to be hiding from his ex, after all. At this rate, the bitch was going to find us here in the jungle, and I was going to have to rip her apart and burn the pieces right in front of him, where I wouldn't be able to take my time and torture her like she deserved. Then again, we _were_ a pretty bloodthirsty species; maybe it would be like some sort of mating dance. One where we'd complete the ritual by doing it next to the cooling ashes of her corpse.

So romantic, right?

Ripping my mind away from the spiraling thoughts, I snapped, "Really? Then why do you go through all this self-loathing shit with me? I'm your mate, aren't I?"

"Of course you are!" he huffed.

He sounded so much like a girl that I wanted to slap him. No self-respecting vampire should act that way. He should be proud of what he was, not ashamed. He could easily kick anyone's ass, be it a football player or professional wrestler. Hell, he could put the World's Strongest Man to shame if he wanted, and all that didn't even take into account his appearance. What was with all the self-esteem issues? It was so damn tiring, yet the whole act made me want to take him in my arms and soothe all his fears.

"Then why do you act like you'll be able to run me off? We're vampires; we're supposed to eat people. I _can't _fault you. It doesn't matter if I think I should. All I have to do is think of how tasty those boys smelled when we were back in the Amazon and I get it. I might not like it, but I get it," I finished in a whisper, stroking his cheeks with my thumbs.

"I can't believe I've been so lucky. That you're mine," he breathed, shaking his head a little. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, leaning into my touch. "I love you."

"I know," I returned, smiling up at him, waiting for him to open those beautiful eyes and really _see._ Finally, those thick, long lashes raised, revealing a glimmer of gold. "And I love _you_. When are you going to realize that nothing will change how I feel?"

He beamed down at me, some of the tension draining from his body. "Give me another hundred years." His arms wound around my waist and he pulled me closer, dropping his forehead to rest against mine.

"I'll give you ten times that and more, you know," I promised. It was the absolute truth, but as much as I wanted to bask in the love and adoration of my mate, there was something more pressing invading our little hideaway here in the South Atlantic.

"What is it?" Edward must have noticed my unease; as usual, he was quick to notice when something was awry with me.

"Heidi—is she here because of what happened in Seattle? Did that lead her to you?"

"We have to assume it's a possibility," he said gravely, scrubbing a hand over his face as he stared into the trees beyond. "I didn't exactly do a great job of concealing my nature from humans."

"Yeah, wrecking that ambulance wasn't your best moment. But I wouldn't be here if you hadn't."

He smiled slightly as his golden eyes met mine, one side of his mouth kicking up in an insecure, shy way. "All I was thinking was that I couldn't lose you. Those paramedics … they knew you weren't going to make it. Once I heard those thoughts, there was no decision, really."

"I know, Edward. We're meant to be, and everything that's happened up 'til this point was because of that." It was the truth, no matter how long it had taken me to realize. "Now we just need to fight for what we have."

"I wish I had your confidence," he said ruefully, stepping closer and tracing the arc of my brow with one fingertip.

"It's a gift," I joked, grinning weakly. Then we were kissing, the pull between us just too much to withstand. Lips and teeth and tongues did the talking, rough and then gentle, hard and then soft. Sliding my hands to the back of his head, I threaded my fingers through his hair, savoring the silky smooth texture.

I'd give him anything; how could I not? He gave me everything in return. This man, one who'd lived since the turn of the last century, a frozen snapshot in time, was mine. After waiting for me for over a century, he'd given me all he was, all that he had, and everything he would be. Such great gifts could only be eclipsed by everything we could be together, and I wasn't about to let _anyone_ ruin what we had. Heidi would take Edward from me over my smoldering ashes, which would never happen. Never. Because I was totally confident that I could take her down, and I'd carry her damn ashes in a coffee can wherever I went from now on—as a warning to all other vampire tramps—if she dared to challenge me.

Edward purred against my lips, eliciting an answering vibration from my throat as he spread his fingers wide and let his hands drift down to cup my ass. Deliberately, he pulled my hips flush with his, guiding me to straddle him as we knelt at the edge of the jungle.

"What do you do to me?" he asked after an indeterminate amount of seconds had passed. Whenever we kissed I always lost track of time.

"The same thing you do to me," I murmured, resting the fingertips of one hand against his lips. They parted for me as the tip of his tongue brushed over the pad of my index finger, causing another short purr to vibrate in my throat.

"I drive you insane? I make you crazy with want? I make you so hot that you can't think straight?"

"Yes. I can't think about anything without my mind wandering to you. Without wondering what you'd think. I can't picture my life without you in it."

"I see you in everything," he admitted, the soft, reverent tone to his voice coating me like thick, warm honey. "You're always with me. You're everywhere. Everything. I knew it when I met you on that ferry. From the moment I steadied you, kept you from falling, I knew. But what I didn't know was that you'd steady _me._ That you'd finally take the chaotic jumble of my life and give it purpose. That you'd keep me from falling beyond redemption."

Hearing his words, _feeling_ them fall from his lips to the tips of my fingers, pierced my still heart in the best possible way. I nodded slightly, my smile tremulous, the tightness in my throat preventing me from voicing the fact that I felt the exact same way. He seemed to know, and whether it was his talent for mind-reading somehow breaking its way through the silence of my mind, or just the fact that he _knew_ me so well, I didn't know. I didn't care.

"I'll never leave you, never choose anyone else; I don't want to. Not just because I can't. Not just because you're my mate, but because you were the one who trusted me, believed in me, when no one else did. You trusted me when you should have run screaming; you should have told me to leave you alone for good. I love you, Bella. I just love you. So much."

I don't know who kissed whom, but suddenly we were all over each other again. Hands roamed everywhere, lips and teeth nipped and grazed, tongues twisted and twined together into one big blaze of heat and want and need. Vaguely, I realized that we shouldn't be making out when a possibly hostile vampire was searching our home, but it wasn't enough to tear me away from him.

_Let her find us. Let her see that there's no way she's getting near Edward again. Let her see that he's _mine_._

It was a miracle that I managed to pry my lips from his when I did. He followed, fastening his mouth to my chin, then to that sensitive spot he loved, the one just underneath my jaw. One of his hands trailed down my thigh, squeezing above my knee and urging it higher against his side.

"Edward," I panted, screwing my eyes shut as I tipped my head back, inadvertently giving him better access to the expanse of my throat.

"Mmm-hmm?" he hummed, never taking his mouth from my skin. Chills snaked down my spine in a delicious rush and my back arched, bringing me closer to his body.

I couldn't believe I was the one putting a stop to this. "We have to stop. She's still out there, probably going through our things."

He sighed, leaving his mouth pressed against me, his breath washing over the curve of my neck. "I just want to forget her."

"We can't. At least _I _can't, Edward."

With one last kiss, he lifted his head. "I know. I suppose we need to come up with a plan." When he pulled away, I felt the loss like a stab to the chest. But it was just what I needed to keep my focus on the very real threat to our happiness.

"I can use my gift. We have the element of surprise on our side … I just need to make use of it," I whispered, soaking in the growing confidence I felt. I knew I could do this. For him. For _us._

"What are you planning?"

As much as I hated what was taking place in my head, I knew it was the right approach. I trusted Edward, and that meant I'd have to do something that made me entirely uncomfortable. I'd have to let him face her alone. At least I could console myself with the fact that I'd be close enough to rip the bitch apart if I had to. And I wouldn't hesitate to do so if the occasion presented itself.

"You need to confront her … by yourself. I can stay near, watching, but if she can't see me …" I trailed off, gathering the rest of my plan into words. "I can come in and take her down if needed."

"I don't like the idea of leaving you by yourself, even for a few minutes. If she's not alone, I won't be able to warn you if I hear any minds coming."

"But you didn't hear Heidi's mind," I thought aloud, immediately becoming distracted by that distressing realization. "Were you tuning her out?"

He frowned, brows creasing the way they always did when he became lost in thought. I wanted to trace my fingers over the little line that formed there, to press my lips to his skin and make him smile … damn it. _Focus, Bella._ "I haven't been tuning anything out lately. Here with you, I don't have to. In fact, going to the mainland today was exceptionally difficult—having all those minds bombarding me once again was quite a shock. It took some getting used to before I could block them out."

An idea took root in my head as I remembered the scene from earlier, when I'd clutched at Edward as we hunkered down in the boat, fervently wishing we wouldn't be seen. What if it was all connected?

"What are you thinking?"

"I wonder … what if that was me, too? If I somehow kept you from hearing her approach?"

"I've heard of similar gifts," he mused, re-situating us so we sat next to each other on the ground. "From my time with the Volturi, I know of several shields."

"Shields?" _Is that what I am_?

"Yes. Generally, shields are those whose gifts are ideal for protection." He paused and thought, his eyes going wide before he spoke again. "It makes sense, actually," he said excitedly, becoming animated, in the exact opposite of his statue act. "It's possible you're not making yourself physically invisible—you're just shielding yourself from vision."

I gasped as everything clicked into place. There wasn't anything wrong with my brain; it was just that my gift—my _shield_—kept Edward out of my head. "That's why you can't hear my thoughts!"

"Exactly!" He grinned, his eyes dancing as he leaned forward, his hand grasping mine. "And now we know you can project your shield to others as well. Wow … you can shield yourself from physical as well as preternatural senses …" He suddenly sobered. "You have a great talent indeed." At this he fell silent and stared at me, as if he was trying to see inside my head. It wasn't unlike when we'd first met, during those times that I now realized as those when he was trying to read my mind but couldn't.

"Wait a minute." I removed my hand from his, making sure that we weren't touching. Control over my gift was spotty at best; severing all physical contact would give us better odds. He looked a little hurt at the way I withdrew so abruptly, so I offered him a smile. "I don't want to block you, if that's what I've been doing," I explained. "Can you hear her now? You said she doesn't know we're here—why would she be guarding her thoughts?"

His expression took on that intense cast that I now recognized as his "mind-reading face." He literally looked like he was trying to bore holes in the trees with his eyes. I usually found it a little amusing, but humor was hard to come by at the moment.

"She's going through the house, room by room. She's … surprised to see women's clothing in the closet."

Of course, I jumped to conclusions and took that to mean that she was here for my mate's penis. "I knew it! That's fucking it!" I shot up and stalked toward the house, only to be yanked back by Edward's hand closing like a manacle around my wrist. Breaking his hold, I poked at his chest. "If I'm still stronger than you, then I bet I'm a hell of a lot stronger than that bitch. If she thought you were here alone, then she came to bone you, and I'm gonna make sure she knows you're off-limits!"

Crazy, possessive newborn Bella was back in the house, and she was out of control. Rational Bella didn't care—she was right behind the crazy bitch, cheering her on.

"Control yourself," he hissed, clamping both hands on my upper arms. "I know it's hard to rein in your emotions as a newborn, but you've got to get it together until we have a solid plan. I am not going to let the Volturi find out about you, and I will _not_ let them take you from me!"

Momentarily distracted from my jealous rage by the desperation in his voice, I asked, "What does one have to do with the other? And why would they want to take me?"

"Your gift, Bella." It was all he needed to say. "They can never know what you're capable of doing. It's bad enough that they know about _my_ ability."

"But I wouldn't go with them, Edward. I only want to be with you."

"You're too big a temptation for them to resist. If they knew what you can do, they'd do anything in their power to get you to join." He paused, his grip on my arms gentling as he pulled me closer. "I should know."

"They want you, too," I whispered, realization dawning quickly and without warning, like a flash of heat lightning.

"I believe so, yes. Only Heidi knew about what I can do. Since we didn't part in the most amicable of ways, I wouldn't doubt it if she didn't keep my secret when I left. I couldn't blame her, actually."

A low growl slipped out of me, starting soft and threatening, but ending loud and truly dangerous. "I won't let anything happen to you. I won't let anyone else have you."

He smiled sadly. "And if we don't have a choice?"

"We have a choice, damn it. And it's to be together." I wouldn't let there be any other options.

.

.

.

* * *

_So, lots of info this chapter, huh? I promise, we'll get to the action with the next one! I'm thinking if I just jumped right into the shizz, even I would have trouble figuring out what's going on. If you've got questions, I've got answers - if it doesn't give anything super important away, that is._

_Thanks for being patient with me and my slowness...and even if you're not, that's okay, too. I'm usually not on the patient side myself. Just keep in mind that it's hard working in all this plot stuff, y'all. It's so hard... (Ooops! Britney, give me back my laptop!) _

_Well, what will our Bella do? Will she rip out Heidi's hair and weave a sweater? Will she dance a jig on her ashes? Or will it be a good old classic girl fight? Hmmm..._

_Until next time, thanks for reading! And if you're so inclined to leave a review, I might have a teaser for you... oh, bribery, the strategy of champions..._ (no, not really. I made that up.)


	23. Univalent Entities

_I don't own Twilight; we all know this. All sparkly vampires belong to SM._

_Many thanks to KristenLynn for the beta, and love to AmeryMarie, famouslyso, FangMom, tragicallyepic, and Yoga_Gal for helping me out with this chapter. Yes, it took that many people. I'm ashamed of myself, but this one needed it._

* * *

**-Chapter 23: Univalent Entities-**

* * *

Before we got any closer to the house, we needed to do a little _reconnaissance,_ as Edward put it. I decided I loved it when he spoke spy. It made me think of him as my own personal James Bond.

"What are you doing?" I whispered, being careful not to touch him. I _thought_ I knew when I was using the 'shield,' but I was far from confident in my ability.

"Listening," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. "I know that."

"Then why did you ask?" The slightest hint of a grin twitched at one corner of his mouth.

"Funny," I said sourly. "Are you getting a read on her? You'd think she'd let her lying guard down if she really thinks we're not here."

"She's still very guarded, limiting her thoughts to what she's finding in the house and what it might mean. She suspects I'm here somewhere." He frowned, falling silent.

"What?"

"She hasn't changed. At all. Her thoughts… they're so self-absorbed."

And still he'd boned her. _Men_.

I raised an eyebrow. "Her tits must be spectacular," I snipped.

"Bella, what does that have to do with anything?" he asked, shooting me a questioning glance.

"Breasts are like the universal 'mute' button for men. Show them a pair, and they block out everything else." Feeling disgruntled, I sat down on a low-hanging branch and swung my feet, keeping my eyes away from him by concentrating on the insects busily scurrying through the dirt.

Edward crouched down in front of me. "Bella," he sighed, "I thought you were over this. And no one has prettier tits than you."

I looked up to find him grinning, his eyes glinting with golden warmth. I couldn't help but return his smile. "I am, mostly. But come on, don't deny me a little jealousy. It gets me all riled up. I might need the boost if I have to kick some lying vampire ass."

"You think you need to protect me? Am I that weak?" Playfully, he poked me in the stomach before straightening, pulling me to stand next to him.

"It's not about protection. It's about revenge," I replied, ending my statement with a little growl.

He chuckled softly. "Remind me never to piss you off."

"Too late. But you're pretty, so you get off easy," I said, laughing.

With a smirk, he turned his attention back toward the house. As he listened, his lips flattened, turning down at one corner, and a crease appeared between his brows. I knew that face. Edward was annoyed. The petty, jealous side of me internally cackled with glee at the fact that he found listening to little Liar Barbie so tedious.

He sighed, turning back to me. "She's planning to stay until I return. She's made up her mind."

"She must be stupid. Or she wants a beat-down." That earned me a reprimanding glance, and I quieted down in order to let him listen.

After another few moments, Edward spoke again. "I don't want you confronting her, Bella. I'll go in and tell her she's wasted her time in coming here, but the less she knows about you, the better. I suspect she's told the Volturi about my ability—the leader, Aro, has crossed her mind more than once in relation to me. They can't know what you can do."

"I can't just sit back and listen to her try to take you away from me!" I protested, shaking off his hand when he tried to calm me.

"You can, Bella. You're going to have to. I'm not going anywhere, no matter what she says or does. Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I whispered. "It's her I don't trust."

"As well you shouldn't." He pulled me close, linking his hands at the small of my back. "But please, listen to me. If it comes down to a fight, you won't stand a chance, love. She's been trained in every kind of combat and she's hundreds of years old. You may be stronger than her, but without training, you'll be at a huge disadvantage."

"Not if I can get in there and rip her apart before she even blinks," I muttered, angry that I was being denied the chance to dismember her and dance on her smoldering ashes.

He brought one hand up to cup my cheek. I leaned into his palm, savoring the warmth of his touch.

"Bella, love, please listen to me. You know what would happen if she hurt you. I'd be distracted to the point of madness. She might be able to hurt us both," he said softly.

I looked deep into his eyes, losing myself in his irises, which burned like molten gold and darkened as I watched. Silently mulling over his argument, I swallowed thickly, trying to push away the sudden influx of desire triggered by his intense stare.

Distracting Edward was the last thing I wanted to do, and if I caused him any pain… Well, the very idea was terrifying.

"Okay. I'll control myself," I promised, sighing.

He smiled softly, warmly. "Please don't let those be famous last words."

"Not this time, if I can help it." I didn't smile. The weight of what was about to happen was like a mountain looming above us, casting dark shadows over our future. I didn't have Alice's gift of precognition, but I didn't need to be a damn psychic to know that what was coming wasn't good.

Edward looked off toward the house. "She's getting restless."

I barely kept myself from rolling my eyes. "Good. That's what she gets for showing up here unannounced."

Laughing softly, he said, "You're just bitter because you didn't get to plan your 'beat-down'." Finally, he succeeded in coaxing a smile out of me.

"Maybe."

"Love, you know I'm always right. Now kiss me before I go rid our love nest of vermin." With his hand at my back, he bent me backwards, following me down into a dip straight out of a silent film.

"God, I love you and your antiquated self," I sighed as he straightened us, lifting my face to his.

His lips met mine roughly as his hand left my cheek and his fingers wove into my hair. It wasn't a sweet goodbye kiss; it was one of promise: one that lit a fire in both of us and made me even angrier at the witch in our house. I hadn't thought that was even possible. He swept his tongue across my lips, and I let him in gladly, moaning at the familiar, addictive taste of him. One arm was still low around my back, tightening until I was pressed hard up against him, my toes leaving the ground. All I could do was wind my arms around his back and tilt my head under the force of his kiss.

When he finally pulled away, every joint in my body felt loose and useless. "Wow. That was some kiss," I said, in a daze as I opened my eyes to find his irises darkened to a shining obsidian.

"I had to make sure you know exactly who my mate is," he answered in a hoarse tone. He was out of breath, his chest pressing against mine with each inhalation.

I licked my lips as he dropped his forehead to mine. "Me?"

He grinned. "You. Always. Forever."

.

-x-

.

Later, I hid among the trees that bordered the back of the house. Perched high in the canopy, I had a perfect view of Edward striding purposefully toward the back door, shoulders straight and frame rigid. Pausing at the threshold, he turned back to look in my direction, flashing a tense smile and dipping his head in a slight nod. Then he was inside, walking willingly into the wily clutches of Lying Heidi.

I wanted to puke, but if I did, that meant another dinner of rats and chickens just that much sooner. It was in the best interests of my taste buds to keep that from happening. I figured if I could keep from barging into the house to stake my claim on Edward, I could handle anything—including a trip to the mainland to hunt for more appetizing prey.

One could only hope.

I took a deep breath, drawing the sweet scent of plumeria and damp, musty leaf matter into my lungs. The air hung heavily around me, clinging to my impenetrable skin; I wouldn't be surprised if condensation formed where my bare flesh met the atmosphere. It was almost suffocating, except that was impossible for one who didn't need to breathe. As it was, I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest, squeezing the life out of me as I heard Edward move through the house in search of our uninvited guest. I dug my fingertips into the bark of the branch beneath me, barely remembering that I had to be gentle or I'd end up on the ground. _You have to keep calm,_ I repeated to myself over and over, the thought blaring through my head like it came from a bullhorn. I wouldn't do Edward any good if I acted like a greenhorn newborn, popping off at the mouth and falling prey to every instantaneous want and desire.

It would feel so very good to rush in and take Heidi down, maybe give her a Van Gogh makeover or something. Surely I could relieve her of one ear and get it burned in the fireplace before she knew what hit her. Maybe even her nose. It would be awesome if I could manage a foot or a hand as well. Before I knew it, I was lost in a daydream of me, dressed as the Man in Black, and Heidi, decked out as Prince Humperdinck. That left Edward as Buttercup, but he never had to know.

_To the pain, Heidi. To the pain._

Oh, yes. That would be perfection.

Though I'd have to leave her with at least one ear to accomplish that… oh, well, no one could say I never made any sacrifices.

I sighed, reluctantly tucking that fantasy away for another time. If I ever needed to pay attention, it was now. I focused every sense I possessed on what was going on inside the house that had been my sanctuary for the past few months, and on the man who had made it all possible.

It was a very real pain, the one I felt at being separated from him, even if it was only by mere yards.

"Heidi. I trust you have a good reason for showing up at my home uninvited?"

My discomfort waned a bit at the sound of his voice, which was unusually hard and callous. He'd never spoken to me this way and it made me smile, knowing that it was directed at my newfound nemesis. God, I wished I could borrow Edward's gift, just for tonight. I wanted to _see_ what was happening, not just hear it with my vampire super bullhorn ears.

"I missed you, my love. Is there any other reason?" the bitch practically purred. I pictured her sauntering closer to my man, her dress swishing about her ankles. If I hadn't already seen her, I'd be imagining her as a less attractive, live-action version of Jessica Rabbit.

"You and I both know there's nothing more between us. I told you when I left—"

"Edward, don't," she interrupted, and I wanted to slap her. "We were great together; don't deny it. Please, come back to me." There was a desperate quality to her voice; it was laced with a heated, smoldering pain, a gritty, grinding longing that almost had me feeling sorry for her.

_Almost_.

"Heidi," he began, "you know I'm not the one for you. You've got to stop fooling yourself."

"But you are!" she protested, bursting out in a fit of desperation and maybe a little rage. "The way we brought them in so easily… the way those humans followed us like sheep…" Her words trailed off wistfully, as if she was remembering her fondest memory. Hell, perhaps she was—at the time, she'd had a full belly and Edward at her side. "Is this because of her? The other girl? Unless you've suddenly developed a proclivity for wearing lingerie and women's jeans."

No, but he sure loved to rip them off of me...

"Heidi, you just don't know. What I have now, _that's _what it means to have a mate. A true companion, one who's meant for you and you alone," he said, that velvet voice deep and fervent.

"I _do_, Edward. You," she returned, her conviction wavering as doubt snaked its way in. I could tell by the desperate tinge in her voice.

"No, Heidi. It's not me."

"What can I do to get you to forget her?" she demanded. "Whoever she is, I know she can't touch what we have."

"You're right. She can't." I barely had time to get angry before he elaborated, the conviction in his statement so passionate I nearly fell out of the tree. "Because what I have with Bella is so much _more_ than that."

"Bella," she spat on a huff of breath, a mean little laugh following the sound of her feet stalking across the floor. "Why would you want this _Bella_ when you can have me? You're fooling yourself if you think she's not just a poor substitute for what you had with me. What you can _still _have."

I was ready to leap from the trees and rip her apart, but Edward responded before I had the chance.

"You're right. She's _not_ just a poor substitute." His tone was smug, determined, one that warmed me inside despite my immediate interpretation of his statement. "She's not a substitute _at all._ She's more than that… she's _everything_. Heidi, I'm sorry, but your trip here was a waste of time," he finished, sure and steady.

God, I wished I could see her slutty little face when he said that. _Take that, Mate Stealer. Lie your way out of this one._ Leaning forward in the tree, I eagerly awaited her response.

"You can't mean that."

"I can. I do. I _left,_ Heidi." It was all he said. Really, what more did she need? Did she need him to go all Jerry Springer on her and call her a ho?

"But we were so good together," she whispered, the hurt evident in her voice. I _almost_ cared.

"That's only because you don't know what it's like to have a true mate," Edward told her gently. "When you find the one you can't possibly live without, you'll know what I mean. We're not mates; we never were. You and I have been apart for the better part of a year without one word. If I had to be apart from Bella for that long… I'm not sure I could do it. I changed her rather than let her die. I had no choice."

"_She's_ the one? The human girl that disappeared from Seattle?"

"She's the one," he answered, and those three words said everything. "I couldn't let her slip away from me."

"I thought she was just prey," she mumbled so softly I could barely hear her. "Just someone with irresistible blood…"

"She's far from prey. She's my _life_ now."

"Then are you willing to give up your freedom for her? Give up the things that make you truly _you?_" she asked caustically, and if I'd never heard anything sinister before, I surely had now.

"Absolutely. I'm nothing without her." It was plain, simple, and without hesitation. Warmth bloomed in my chest and a smile plastered itself on my face in spite of the growing knot of worry in my belly.

"How noble," she spat, bitterness coming through loud and clear in her tone.

Edward spoke calmly, as if she hadn't just vaguely threatened our lives. "It isn't about nobility, Heidi." She snorted, but he wasn't swayed. "It's about knowing there's only one person out there for you. It's about feeling completely comfortable and trusting someone with your life, your love, your happiness."

"And that's it?"

"That's it. I don't know what else I can say. Bella is my home. She's the one thing that validates this existence. The one person that makes me think that I might not be a monster, that I might not be this abomination I've always thought myself to be."

"Does she keep your balls in a sack and carry them with her when she's not around?" she snapped.

"She might as well," Edward laughed, and I found myself having a hard time not giggling.

"How sweet. I never thought I'd see you this low, Edward. Not even able to make a decision for yourself. I remember when you did what you wanted and damned the consequences," she mused, and I could hear the tap of her heeled sandals. She must have been pacing. That sign of uneasiness was the only thing that kept me from leaping from my perch to rip her apart.

"Only because I didn't give a shit about what happened to me. I didn't care if the Volturi ended me—there was nothing. My family had betrayed me, and I was completely alone. Nothing mattered, don't you see that? But _Bella_ does," he vowed, voice low and rough with conviction. "Bella matters. You… you were simply a distraction."

A ragged gasp slipped from her. "I see," she whispered.

I again felt her pain, sharp and swift in my chest, but it was nothing less than she deserved in my mind.

"I hope you find what you need, Heidi, but you won't find it with me," Edward said softly, and the compassion in his words made me love him that much more.

"Maybe not," she answered, and it was like she'd flipped a switch. Her tone became hard and cold, her voice clipped. "But even if you won't be with me, the Volturi still has use for you."

And this… this was what I feared the most. That he'd be taken from me permanently, forced to assist those idiot crossing guards of the vampire race.

"I'm afraid I'll have to respectfully decline," Edward said smoothly, as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"I'm not sure that's an option for you, Edward. Your antics in Seattle were in direct violation of our laws. You will answer to Aro for those alone."

I fervently wished that x-ray eyes had been part of my vampire upgrades. Not being able to see what was happening was killing me. Was she close? Was she touching him? Was she looking at his package?

Fuck, I was going crazy out here!

"A meeting with Aro is completely unnecessary," he growled. "The police aren't pursuing it as any more than a missing persons case with a few unusual details. There's nothing to suggest that it had anything to do with one of our kind—and you know it."

"Oh, I don't know," she replied, the singsong quality to her voice annoying me to no end. My fingertips dug ruts into the branch on which I was perched, threatening to cut all the way through the wood and send me falling to the ground. "Reports of one man single-handedly wrecking an ambulance … overpowering two paramedics and stealing away one bloody patient—who remains missing to this day … that attracts quite a bit of attention, Edward."

"If he's so interested, why didn't he send the Tracker?"

"He thought you might be more easily persuaded if he sent me. I _am_ the Lure, after all."

"He was wrong."

"Hmm," she hummed condescendingly. "I'm not so sure."

"Be sure," Edward snapped. I could picture his expression from that tone alone. His brows would be winging down over dark eyes; maybe his fists would be clenched at his sides. "I think you're lying, Heidi. You see, I've finally figured you out: your thoughts become two-dimensional when you're using your gift; they're like a painted backdrop, only for show. There's no substance to them. Not that there's much to begin with," he added snidely. "So who's your backup? Should I be expecting another unwanted guest?"

"Where _is_ your Bella?" Heidi asked, blatantly ignoring his question. My name practically dripped with derision. "Has she left you yet? Did she find out what kind of monster you really are? How I taught you to love playing with your food?"

"She knows everything."

"Does she? _Interesting_." She laughed, but there was nothing joyful in the sound. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I remember a time when I'd do anything for that dick. I still would," she added under her breath, but I heard it.

I couldn't help it. I fell right from the tree. The back door was centimeters from my face before I knew it, and I sent it flying open with the slightest tap of my fingers. I figured they could hear the hinges as it swung open—and they definitely heard the door when it banged against the wall—but I didn't care one bit. This intruder thought she could take Edward, have him for herself, and she couldn't be more wrong. I was about to show her how much.

When I reached the bedroom where Edward had found her snooping through our things, they were both staring, waiting for me to appear. Even if I hadn't been louder than a runaway freight train as I rushed to find them, my fall from the tree wouldn't have gone unnoticed; the sound of my sturdy body hitting the forest floor would have clued them in.

Clenching my fists at my sides, I paused in the open doorway, trying to calm myself. I was so angry that my whole body practically vibrated. "Say that again," I growled through clenched teeth. "Give me a reason to rip you in half."

Heidi eyed me up and down like I was something gross and smelly that she'd found stuck at the very bottom of the trash can. "Bloodthirsty little thing, isn't she?" she drawled without looking away from me.

I took a step forward, fighting back a smile when she flinched. It was all I could do not to drop into a defensive crouch as the slight breeze from the open window buffeted a cloud of her sickeningly sweet scent in my direction. "If you've got something to say to me, I'm right here."

She held her hands out, palms up, but I wasn't fooled by the neutral gesture. "It was just an observation. You _are_ still a newborn, after all. You're bloodthirsty by definition."

"I can kick your ass _by definition_," I growled.

Heidi laughed and turned back toward Edward. "What draws you to her? It certainly can't be her personality. This one's thoughts must be dreadfully tedious."

"At least I _have_ thoughts," I muttered under my breath. Edward suppressed a smile as he came to my side.

"Heidi, as you can see, there's no reason for you to stay here. I'm afraid you've wasted a trip," he said smoothly, giving her no indication that he couldn't hear my thoughts. "Now, I think it's time you left."

She pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. "Since you've refused my polite invitation, I'm afraid I'm going to have to resort to coercion. You _will_ come back to Italy with me, or I'll take what you value most." Her eyes shot to mine, going from maroon to black in an instant.

"Try it," I urged, fighting back a hiss. "I'm just waiting for the opportunity to scalp you, bitch."

Ignoring me, she turned back to Edward, who was fuming silently, his eyes just as dark with rage. "Aro is most displeased with me for letting you get away all those months ago. Imagine how angry he was when he found out he'd not only lost a talented Lure, but a thought-reader as well."

"That wasn't your secret to tell!" Edward burst out, a snarl ripping from his throat as he practically vibrated with anger.

"I took you in when your family betrayed you. As I recall, you were quite… _grateful_. Everything about you is mine, including your secrets," she hissed, not backing down. Every remnant of civility left her in that moment. Here was the real Heidi, the one she hid behind her gift for lies.

Barely tamping down a wave of fury, I swallowed back a mouthful of venom and laid a hand on his forearm, hoping to reassure him. "It's not true, Edward," I murmured, drawing Heidi's ire.

"Aww, how sweet," she spat, her face twisting in a grimace. "Did he promise you forever? Did he tell you that you're his one and only? Just remember—_I was there_ _first._"

I crouched, a growl roaring from deep in my chest, and then it was Edward's turn to hold _me_ back. "Let me go!"

"Careful, love," he said lowly, "that's exactly what she wants."

His voice was the only thing that kept me from leaping at her. I knew it wasn't smart to go charging in without a plan, but she knew exactly where to hit me, where to prod so I'd fly out of control. And her aim hurt like fucking hell.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, Heidi," Edward ground out, his lips twisting around her name like he'd tasted something horribly bitter. "Leave. Now. I won't ask again."

"Unless you'd like me to decorate the jungle with your rancid ashes," I added, teeth clenched almost as hard as my fists. My palms were itching with the need to rip off some appendages. I'd start with the small ones...

"I'm afraid I can't leave empty-handed. If you won't come with me willingly, I'll take you piece by piece if I have to," she promised.

Fury clouded my senses, rimming my vision in a red-hot haze. Planting a hand flat on Edward's chest, I shoved him backwards and leapt for Heidi, teeth bared and hands curled into claws. Vaguely, I heard a sharp crack of wood as Edward hit the canopied bed frame; I couldn't let it bother me because I knew he'd be okay. Heidi dropped into a defensive crouch, an evil smile splitting her face as I rushed at her.

"Bella, no!" Edward shouted as I dropped my head down and hit her with my shoulder, relying on my brute newborn strength to take her down—and that was my mistake, just as Edward had warned me earlier.

She was ready for me, absorbing the blow and shoving at my leading shoulder, somehow twisting me around with one arm pinned behind my back. My first instinct was to go invisible, but that was out because it would conceal Heidi too. And then I stopped thinking, as she yanked my head to the side and sunk her teeth into my neck until I could hear the screech of my crystallized tendons stretching and popping.

Searing, excruciating pain shot through the entire right side of my body as I felt my shoulder separating, my neck tearing. I met Edward's panicked, pitch-black stare as he leapt from the ruined bed, streaking across the room in a white and bronze blur.

"Come one step closer and I'll end her. I'll crush her head into so many pieces..." she trailed off, her voice high-pitched and filled with violent, manic glee.

Edward froze, stricken with terror. "Stop, Heidi, please," he begged roughly. He wouldn't take his eyes off me. A sob caught in the back of my throat at the pain and fear that practically radiated from him.

"Stop looking at her! You look at me!" she screeched, and I must have tensed up in reaction, because she jerked harder on my arm, rending another sickening screech from my shoulder. Despite my determination to keep silent, to spare Edward the sound of my pain, I screamed in agony.

"Okay, okay! I'll go with you!" Edward shouted, holding out his hands. "I'll go… just please, don't hurt her."

"No, you won't!" I forced out, teeth clenched to get through the pain.

"Shut up," Heidi spat, lowering her head to my neck and scraping her teeth along my skin. They sliced into the already weakened tendons and muscle with a gut-wrenching crunch, like grinding glass.

"I'll fucking kill you if you harm her any further," Edward warned, clenching his fists at his sides. His chest rose and fell in an uneven, heavy rhythm, and I could tell he was fighting with everything in him not to rush forward and grab me.

Heidi was quick to counter. "I don't think you're in the position to make threats."

To emphasize her point, she sank her teeth into my shoulder and pulled. The joint finally gave way with a wet crack. I screamed in agony, screwing my eyes shut; I couldn't bear to see Edward's reaction. It was bad enough just hearing his roar of pain and fury. My own stupid, impulsive actions had gotten me in this mess, and Edward was paying for it. My heart ached at the torment I was causing him.

Finally she let my arm go but retained her grip on my hair. Thinking I had an opening, I tried to punch her in the face. The only trouble was, I was right handed and my arm wouldn't move. It hung uselessly at my side, dangling by miniscule threads of crystallized tendons and ligaments. My options were limited and dwindling by the second.

_There has to be something I can do…_

Theoretically, I was stronger than Heidi by leaps and bounds—surely I could figure out a way to best her—but I knew I was at an extreme disadvantage here. I was probably going to die, and Edward would suffer. That was the last thing I wanted.

I only wanted to love him, and if I was going to die, I wanted to tell him one more time—without inviting Heidi's ridicule and jealousy. The connection between Edward and me was something she could never touch.

I focused on making my feelings visible; the exact opposite of what I did when I wanted to remain unseen. Concentration was my only comfort as I imagined opening myself to him, peeling back the very layers of my heart. It was almost as painful as my injuries; as if I was being flayed alive, fiber by fiber.

_Oh, God, Edward… I'm so sorry, _I thought. _I love you. Please know how much I love you… _

I opened my eyes to find his eyebrows high, gaze locked on mine, his face registering pure shock. _Can you hear me?_ It was so improbable that it wasn't even funny, but when he nodded slightly, my knees weakened. Hope flared brightly inside my chest, almost eclipsing the hot pull of the pain. Maybe we'd be able to overcome this after all.

"Stop, Heidi," Edward ordered, "I've agreed to do what you want, but no more harm must come to Bella."

"What does she matter now? You're giving her up. We'll have no use for her in Italy."

"He won't go!" I growled, unable to remain quiet in the face of such a provoking statement. "I won't let him!"

"I'm afraid it's not up to you, sweetheart," Heidi sneered, jamming her sharp fingernails into my neck.

I couldn't contain the cry that leapt from my throat or the dry sob that followed.

Edward took another halting step forward, practically vibrating with anger. "Stop, now!" he grated, teeth clenched.

"I don't think so." The enjoyment that radiated from Heidi was almost palpable, turning my stomach with every giggle and sigh as she dug deeper, creating a fissure that threatened to separate my head from my body.

Using the disgust she inspired as a sort of fuel, I directed everything I had at making Edward hear me again. Locking my gaze onto his furious black eyes, I figuratively ripped myself open again.

_If I can distract her, take the chance, Edward. We've only got one shot. I don't care how badly she hurts me. _

He could put me back together as long as she didn't burn me, right? I wasn't Humpty Dumpty, damn it. I hoped so, anyway.

Edward shook his head minutely, those brows winging down in disapproval. If I could read _his_ mind, I was sure he'd be telling me, "Don't you fucking move." I was probably in for a hell of a spanking later.

If I survived.

_Just do it, Edward. It's gonna take more than this bitch to keep me away from you,_ I thought.

Heidi's grip loosened for just a fraction of a second, but it was enough. I went limp, slipping through her grasp and falling to the floor, the impact jarring my injured shoulder. Gritting my teeth against the agony, I curled in on myself and brought my knees to my chest. As she bent to grab me by the hair again, I struck out with my foot, landing a devastating blow to her kneecap. I put so much force into the kick that I took out both knees. The sound of her joints separating was like sweet music to my ears.

I immediately went invisible, barely managing to drag myself away from where she landed in a heap on the hardwood floor. I knew using my shield would likely cut my mind off from Edward's once again, but I'd given him the opportunity he needed to take control of the situation. The shield was my only option; my right arm was ruined and my neck had a gaping hole in the side, and Heidi's clawed hands were already grasping for any part of me. The shock on her face as I disappeared was one of the most satisfying things I'd ever seen, but when Edward leapt into action and landed atop her, I was in heaven.

He'd never been more beautiful—or deadly—to me as he rose to his feet, grasping both of her upper arms. With a crack, he wrenched them from her body and let her fall to the floor in a heap.

As I watched, it grew harder and harder to maintain my shield, my whole body trembling from the effort. It was all I could do to keep from sobbing, but I couldn't take my eyes away from the sight of my mate defending me. I wouldn't be the source of another distraction. Blackness roiled at the sides of my vision, threatening to take me under. Vaguely, I realized that as a vampire, unconsciousness shouldn't be possible—the implications of which were not lost on me. To conserve my strength, I let go of the shield. With Heidi incapacitated, it wasn't necessary any longer.

"You. Don't. Touch. Her. You are _nothing!_" Edward declared, tossing her limbs across the room in an extremely convincing method of punctuation.

Heidi's face froze into a mingled rictus of terror and disbelief. "Edward, please—"

"_Shut up!_" he roared, gripping her neck in one lightning fast move. Lifting her up until her toes scraped the floor, her ruined legs dangling uselessly, he held her there; she writhed in the air like a dying bug under a sharp pin. "You will _never_ touch my mate again." He didn't give her another chance to speak. Swiftly pulling her toward his mouth, he sank his teeth into her throat and grasped her hair with his other hand. The sound of her head cleaving from her body was like shattering concrete, like rocks ground to dust under an enormous weight.

It was the sound of relief… and it was the last thing I heard as everything went silent.

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**A/N:**

_The Man in Black, Prince Humperdinck, and Buttercup are all characters from the movie _The Princess Bride_. "To the pain" is a line from the same movie. And if you haven't seen it by now... well, you should. It's seriously one of the most adorable movies ever. In fact, maybe you should watch it just to recover from this chapter...speaking of that...  
_

_Uh-oh. I'm in trouble, aren't I? That didn't exactly go down as you were expecting, did it? Good thing I saved that Kevlar from back at the end of chapter 10._

_I know you all thought Bella was going to kick Heidi's ass, but one of my biggest issues with Breaking Dawn was how easily she was able to acclimate to being a vampire. It makes more sense to me that Bella wouldn't be able to remain in control and just defeat every enemy that comes her way. She's going to have to fight for it, and she won't always come out on top._

_Good thing Edward was there to save her ass, isn't it?_

_So … Ding dong, the witch is dead, but is that the end of trouble for our couple? And what the hell happened to Bella? Yikes. Let me know what you thought; I can take it! I'm well into chapter 24, so I've got a teaser in return for reviews. Oh, and if you have PM's turned off, I can't reply. I'm not ignoring your review, I promise.  
_

_Until next time, thanks for reading!_


	24. Sigma Bonding

_I don't own Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. _

_Hello again. You all are the best. Most everyone trusted me not to off Bella. You know me too well! _

_Thanks to KristenLynn for the beta and AmeryMarie, Yoga_Gal, and FangMom for the pre-read. They help make these chapters a hell of a lot prettier. _

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**-Chapter 24: Sigma Bonding-**

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I burned, drowning in a searing, scathing fire that radiated from my neck and shoulder.

_I've felt this before. Am I changing again?_

A sweet smell, not unlike that of smoldering amber, assaulted my nose. It was pungent and thick, like burning marshmallows over a driftwood fire. Floating somewhere above was the scent of sweet man and sunshine, the scent I lived for.

Edward.

_Oh, God… what happened? I can't hear. I can't_ _see._ _And I can't fucking move!_

_But I'm breathing... Funny, the one thing I don't _need_ to do is the only thing I'm capable of._

Images rushed into my mind: Heidi as she laughed, taking glee in nearly ripping my arm from my torso; Edward, his face twisted in rage, eyes pitch-black, as he rushed forward to defend me; the sight of my right arm dangling by a thread, the meat of my shoulder exposed. I could feel Heidi's sharp teeth as they ripped through my neck, felt the pain of her clawed fingernails as they tore through tendon and bone.

_Holy shit. I'm not dead?_

Everything stopped as fire licked at my neck, burning away at my nerve endings. Heat crept down, down, until the very tips of my fingers and toes were screaming. Pins and needles pricked my entire right side, making me squirm. I was in agony, wishing I could writhe or twist or scream—hoping, praying, _begging_ for anything to make it stop. My shoulder throbbed and jerked, spasming in response to the heat that scorched the damaged joint. A sharp crack echoed near my ear, sending sound rushing back into my brain.

"Bella! Come on, open your eyes!" Edward was screaming, his voice so loud that he must have been yelling directly into my ear.

My eardrums threatened to burst, but hearing him again was simply glorious. The only thing that might be better was seeing him, but I couldn't quite force my eyes to open. The best I could manage was a little twitch. Everything remained black.

Something wet repetitively swiped at my neck, somehow soothing the pain yet adding to the fire all at once. My skin tingled, further mitigating the throbbing agony at my shoulder.

"Bella, please," Edward breathed, practically sobbing. His breath hit my neck in rapid rushes, working to cool the burn. "Please look at me."

_I want to, Edward! I'm trying! _I thought, but he obviously couldn't hear me. I tried to think back, to remember how I'd made him hear me when Heidi had me pinned, but nothing would work. Maybe I didn't have enough strength? Maybe I needed to hunt? If that was the case, Edward was going to have to feed me like a damn baby bird. I couldn't even lift my eyelids; how could I possibly take down any prey?

And come on, the whole baby bird thing was just disgusting. I didn't care if he fed me _cougar_ blood—I wasn't going to take it like that. Not even from those lips.

My head moved suddenly, light pressure resting at both of my temples. The blazing, searing fire at my throat seemed to dissipate to a low roar. Was Edward putting me back together? Did he have to put my head back on? Maybe Heidi really_ had_ ripped my head completely off.

_Oh, God… how the hell does one get their head re-attached?_

I felt myself being lifted, and a flash of electric agony wracked my whole body, drowning out every other sensation. When I came back to myself, there was soft down underneath my back, cradling me gently. It was infinitely better than the hard, tile-covered floor. Edward must have put me in our bed.

Voices drifted in—Edward's, flat and morose, and Carlisle's softer, slightly static-laced tone. From the slight crackle that accompanied Carlisle's words, I assumed Edward had him on the satellite phone. He had called Carlisle for me…I must have been in horrible condition for him to do that.

"She's non-responsive. I don't know what else to do."

I wondered if he was in shock. This was Edward the statue speaking: the clinical, generally pessimistic side of him that I'd thought I was well on my way to taming. I hated that he was like that again, that he had reverted back to that cold, impersonal being because of my stupid decisions.

"_Have you applied venom to her wounds?"_ Carlisle asked calmly.

I think I heard Edward's teeth grinding together.

"Of course I have! But she's _unconscious_, Carlisle. Is that even possible?"

"_I've never personally seen it, but I've heard stories. I can only assume her condition is due to the severity of the trauma to her neck. You told me her head was almost severed—at the very least, her nerves need time to fuse back together,_" Carlisle explained.

_Wait a minute! Heidi really _did_ rip my head off? Well, almost. How embarrassing… _

"So I'm just supposed to wait?" Edward snapped, his voice coming closer.

The bed dipped as he sat down, and I wanted more than anything to be able to soothe his fears. But no, I was stuck, frozen, in some kind of vampire coma.

_Only you, Bella. Only you_.

"_I'm afraid so, Edward. She's breathing, so we know something's working correctly. Her body wouldn't be wasting energy on nonessential functions if she wasn't healing. All you can do is keep applying the venom until her wounds close—they _are_ closing, yes?"_

"I…I think so." He placed his fingers on my neck, prodding gently. It hurt, but not nearly as much as before. "Yes, they're closing. But shouldn't it be faster?" he questioned, his voice finally breaking, cracking in worry.

"_Everyone is different, Edward. I know this is hard for you, but be patient. Are you sure you don't need me to come down there?"_

I could hear the hope in Carlisle's voice; he truly wanted to help. I didn't know if it was due to the guilt he felt where Edward was concerned, but it touched me. It told me he'd do anything for his son…which hadn't always been a good thing in the past. But how far was _too_ far? Did immortals eventually get away with borderline unforgivable acts because their lives were so long? Maybe time really did heal all wounds...

"No," Edward answered gruffly. "I don't…need you."

It seemed Edward wasn't as affected. I felt sorry for Carlisle, but it was up to Edward. It was his past, and all I could do was be there for him. If I could ever talk again. Or move.

Damn it.

"_Well then."_ Carlisle cleared his throat. _"Keep me posted. If something changes, call me immediately."_

"Done," Edward promised, his voice clipped. "And Carlisle?"

"_Yes, son?"_

"Thank you." There was more emotion in those two words than in the entire conversation.

I heard a soft click as he severed the connection. The phone dropped to the bed with a soft thump and Edward sighed heavily.

"Bella, come back to me," he whispered, shifting closer to me on the mattress. "I need you."

_I'm trying, Edward. I'm trying._

It really wasn't fair that I had the ability to feel pain, but I couldn't move a muscle. More than once, I panicked that I was going to be like this forever, that I'd become some kind of vampire vegetable. What if I was frozen inside this damaged body for all eternity as my mind remained in perfect, steel-trap condition? It was a horrifying thought.

Edward brought me out of more panicked moments than he knew while I was trapped in that semi-conscious state. He held me close, and sometimes that familiar warmth streaked across the junction of my neck and shoulder in a slow, soothing rhythm. I focused on the comfort it gave me, shoving down the agony until I could compartmentalize the sensations enough to process a rational thought.

Periodically, Edward would call my name or beg me to respond, but I still couldn't figure out how to make my eyelids or my mouth work. Time seemed to pass slowly, but he never left my side. The throbbing ache in my shoulder seemed to dissipate, and with every pass of warmth over the wound in my neck, I felt myself knitting back together.

He was slowly nursing me back to health, though I had no idea what he was doing to accomplish that. How did one "doctor up" a vampire? We couldn't be sutured, sterilization was unnecessary since we didn't get infections, and cauterization would be suicide since fire turned us to ash. Carlisle had mentioned venom, but how did one apply it to a wound?

As I puzzled over the mechanics of vampire medicine, I gradually became aware of my body in a way that didn't involve pain. Taking inventory, I realized that the pain in my shoulder had dulled to a bone-deep ache that was more annoying than anything else, but my neck was still quite painful. My throat burned, but this time I could definitely differentiate it as thirst.

Time passed, but I had no idea whether or not my injuries were affecting my perception. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours—and it didn't really matter, because I was in some serious freaking pain the whole time. Occasionally, Edward would whisper words of encouragement in my ear, telling me that I would be fine, that everything was going to be okay, because he wouldn't allow it otherwise. His voice wavered and hitched in his throat, making my still chest ache for him. But none of it was enough to spur my useless body into movement.

I could feel his touch sweeping over my body, massaging and stroking. Light pressure lined up all along my side as his arms wound under my back and he buried his face in my throat. Those slow, warm caresses started again, spreading wet, tingling heat along the healing wound.

_Holy…is he _licking_ me?_

I was disturbed, yet strangely aroused by the idea. And now I knew how venom was applied. We vampires certainly were a strange bunch.

His tongue swept over a particularly sensitive spot, and I felt my back arch in response. I gasped as my eyelids fluttered and my fingers made fists in the bed sheet on either side of my hips. _I can move again!_

Edward jerked his head up, eyes locking with mine. "Bella," he breathed, my name sounding much like a sob on his lips. "Oh, thank God!" He started pressing kisses all over my face, smothering any attempt I made to answer him.

I closed my eyes and basked in his attention, a smile on my face.

"No, don't close those eyes, love. I need to see them, please."

I lifted my lids to find him looming over me, bracing most of his weight on a forearm next to my head. Drinking him in, I let my eyes linger on the familiar angles and planes of his face. Just the sight of him made me feel better.

"Bella, say something!"

I must have been on the mend, because the smart-ass in me couldn't resist. "Something," I croaked, almost choking on a little laugh. My voice sounded a little different to my own ears. Almost like was suffering from some kind of vampire laryngitis.

_Well, if that's all I have to deal with after nearly getting my head ripped off, I'll take it. _

I swallowed thickly, grimacing at the hollow burn that flared. "And...I'm thirsty."

He grinned suddenly, blindingly. "You're all right," he said in wonder. "I was so worried." His smile slowly evaporated as he simply stared at me, taking inventory.

"What?" I frowned, noting the way his eyes darkened from gold to black as he peered down at me.

He didn't answer, his gaze flitting over every part of my face. His expression darkened even more when he reached my ruined neck and shoulder. A sound that registered somewhere between anger and anguish escaped him, and that one utterance shamed me more than anything else. I had done this to him by being reckless and impulsive. By being just plain stupid.

"Oh, Edward, I'm so sorr—"

He kissed me fiercely, pushing his tongue into my mouth to stroke along mine. A low, rough moan vibrated against my lips, and I drank it down eagerly, opening my mouth wider, asking for more. His hands roamed over my body, stroking along my sides, straying down past my hips, and back up again. It was like he couldn't get close enough, couldn't touch enough of me.

"I fucking need you," he growled against my lips, nipping at my sensitive flesh and sucking my bottom lip into his mouth briefly before releasing it with a soft pop. "Don't you ever do _any_thing like that again. I can't take it. Promise me," he ordered, pinning me with his pitch-black, frantic stare.

"I promise," I replied, my voice catching on a sob in response to the fear I could see in his gaze. The memory of his face as Heidi tore into my neck was branded into my mind for all eternity, and I knew I never wanted to put him through anything like that again. "I'm so sorry," I repeated, crying in earnest now, my eyes stinging with hot venom in place of the tears I could never shed.

"Shhh," he soothed, pressing soft kisses to each of my eyelids before dragging his lips down to the base of my throat. "You're safe. We're safe." He swiped his tongue along the still-sensitive swath of healing skin, causing me to hiss, and it wasn't exactly pleasurable. Raising his head, he asked, "Does it still hurt, love?"

I didn't want to admit that it did, because I knew he'd stop, but I also knew he wouldn't let this go. "Not _really_…"

His brow creased and his lips turned downward into a frown. Bastard always knew when I was fibbing. "You're still healing. I shouldn't be hanging all over you—"

"But I want you to hang all over me," I protested, latching on to his waist as he tried to move away from me. My shoulder twinged, making me flinch, and Edward immediately froze.

"Bella," he half-laughed, half-sighed.

"What?" God, I sounded like a petulant little kid, but I truly felt better when most of his skin was pressed up against mine. I was feeling a little clingy in the aftermath of the fight, as well as the severe trauma my body had just been through, and all I needed was to be close to him. "Please, Edward. Don't go away."

A gentle smile softened his face. "I'm not going anywhere." He relaxed carefully against me, making sure not to put any of his weight near my healing injuries, and brought a hand up to my face. With his fingertips only, he traced a line from my temple down to the place at my throat that still stung and throbbed. Gently, he turned my jaw so he could get a better look. "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered, his warm breath alone helping to soothe the ache.

"I'm sorry—"

"No more of that. Stop saying you're sorry," he said, "Just promise me one thing." Again, he tilted my face so I could meet his gaze.

"Anything." I owed him my life twice over now. And it was all for him, anyway.

"Never leave me. I can't be without you. I _won't_ do it."

"I promise," I assured him, lifting my left hand to rest against his face.

"That includes keeping yourself safe, Bella," he clarified, his intense stare driving home the stern bent to his words.

"Okay." My voice wobbled as I made the promise, and I gasped when he dipped his head and swiped his tongue along my neck once again. I couldn't do anything but fasten my hands to his sides and hold on.

Edward continued to focus on healing me, paying attention to every ragged end of flesh, every torn piece of tissue. When he came across a particularly painful section, I couldn't help the little cry that came out of me.

"I know, baby," he murmured. "It won't be much longer. I know it hurts, but you're almost healed. Let me do this," he urged, determinedly focusing on helping the wound to finish sealing.

I closed my eyes and concentrated on the sensations as they progressed from slightly uncomfortable, to almost soothing, to definitely arousing. My breathing grew heavy and my body tensed, my own venom welling in my mouth as other parts of me became heated and sensitive. I tried to hold it back, but a soft moan slipped from my lips after one particularly long and wet swipe of his tongue.

"Oh, God." I couldn't help the way I arched against him. I considered myself lucky that I wasn't moaning and panting all over him. Yet. It would probably still happen.

"Be still, love."

Swipe.

_Holy shit. _

Swipe.

"I can't, Edward. You're... you're driving me crazy."

"I know it hurts, but I have to do it—"

"It doesn't hurt anymore," I interrupted, sucking in a few deep breaths. My chest felt tight and my fingers and toes tingled; my nipples were hard and aching. I couldn't even begin to explain what was going on between my legs, except that I needed Edward to fix it. Badly.

Fuck bed rest. I wanted sexual healing.

"Then why are you complaining?" he asked, diligently keeping to his task.

I was about to explode. "Not complaining," I panted, digging my fingers into the firm muscles of his back.

He looked up, meeting my gaze with one of concern. "Love, your eyes are pitch-black. I know you're stressed. It's okay to tell me if it hurts," he said gently.

"It doesn't hurt," I repeated, biting my lip hard, using the sting to try and rein in my inappropriate lust.

Edward shifted above me, and suddenly I felt him, rock hard against my thigh.

_Okay...so maybe it's _not_ inappropriate?_

"It doesn't?"

This time, I noticed the husky, strained timbre of his words, recognized the tense way he held himself, his muscles rigid where they came in contact with my skin. Every bit of the lust I was feeling was mirrored in Edward.

"Kiss me, Edward," I whispered, arching against his body. While I wasn't completely healed, my aches and pains were now minor, and the very least of my concerns at the moment.

He squeezed his eyes shut and hung his head, resting his forehead on mine. "Bella... you need more time to heal."

I almost had him; I knew it. I could tell by the way he let me have just a tiny bit more of his weight, causing the soft cotton of his shirt to brush against my nipples. Most of my clothes were gone, lost to the fight and Edward's efforts to heal me in the aftermath, leaving me clad only in a tiny pair of swimsuit bottoms.

"I need to feel you," I said, running my hands up his back. I deliberately used my right hand to caress his chest, trying to prove to him that I was almost in perfect working order. "Show me, Edward. Show me I'm yours."

With a loud groan, he relented, throwing one strong thigh over both of mine. "Don't you know?" he asked, almost desperately, "Don't you know I'm _yours_?" With that, he covered my lips with his own, delving into my mouth with little to no restraint. He gripped a handful of my hair in his palm and cupped my head in his hand, holding me to him. His tongue was hot as it stroked along mine, twisting and twining. The taste of him was so familiar, yet somehow this time, it was stronger, sweeter. It was just... right.

_We_ were right.

Dragging his other hand up my side, he covered my breast with his palm, flattening my flesh against his and moving in a slow circle. Pulling his lips from mine, he brushed his nose along the curve of my cheek. His breath caressed my ear, sending a shiver skittering down my spine.

"You are never to put yourself in danger again," he practically growled, nipping my earlobe sharply. "Do you understand?" He pinched my nipple lightly, urging me to answer.

"Yes," I breathed, pushing myself up into his touch.

"Good." He pressed a hot kiss to the spot just behind my ear. Lightly, he laid a trail of kisses down my throat, skimming over my newly healed flesh with the gentlest of touches. His lips paused over the dip between my collarbones, which he filled with his breath. The wet touch of his tongue was next, laving from the hollow of my throat to the tip of my chin, where he dropped a sweet kiss. Fixing his eyes on mine, he forced a knee between my thighs. "Open."

I widened my legs, letting his thigh slip right between mine, all the way up to where I was wet and aching. With a slow smile, he lowered his head to the curve of my breast, licking at the sensitive underside. I couldn't take his eyes from the sight of him as he opened his mouth and took my nipple between his teeth, tugging gently. At the same time, his hand wandered down, palm open, over my belly, slipping beneath the material of my bikini bottoms.

"Oh, God." I tensed, arching up as two fingers slid down, down, dancing right around my clit, playing at the wetness he so easily coaxed from my body. He cursed lowly as he coated his fingers in the evidence of my arousal, never quite dipping inside where I needed him the most. "Edward, please...I _need_ you." I was beyond begging; my pleas were made of blind want. I needed the connection, the sensation, the simple act of _being_ with my mate. I needed him to fucking _take_ me, to make me _his_ in every sense of the word.

After that, I definitely wanted to eat, but that shit could wait when I had Edward needy and aroused and on top of me. A girl had to have priorities, after all.

"You're going to fucking _listen_ to me, damn it," he ground out, the mere sound of his voice nearly setting me aflame. Suddenly, he pinched my inner thigh so hard it made me yelp. He continued, his words teasing me just as well as his fingers. "If I tell you to hide yourself, you _remain hidden_."

A hot, open-mouthed kiss landed on my sternum, lingering over my silent heart. "I have this..._inescapable_ instinct to protect what's mine." Another kiss, longer this time. "And that's _you_, love. But if you continue to act so...so _recklessly..._" he trailed off, voice cracking. "You'll be the death of me, Bella. I'd beat your ass with a leather belt if I thought it would help," he finished wryly.

"You'd break the belt." I never could resist baiting him.

He laid his forehead against my breastbone and laughed breathlessly. Though he was mostly still, he stroked his fingers slowly across my lips, back and forth, the lightest touch.

It was enough to make me crazy. I'd do anything to get him to make me come at this point.

"Edward, please...I'll do anything..."

He pushed two fingers inside of me slowly, until the palm of his hand ground against my clit. "That's more like it, love." Now, his words were soft, soothing, in complete contrast to the sensual torture of his touch.

I bowed up off the mattress, arching against him, moving my hips in time with his hand.

"Does that feel good?" he whispered, dragging his nose between my breasts, breathing me into his lungs.

"Yes." I ran my shaking hands through his hair. It felt better than good. Edward knew just how to touch me, just when to curve his fingers so he'd reach the spot that turned me into a moaning, panting, incoherent mess. I could feel my lower body tightening, tensing, until everything released in one huge burst of pleasure. Gripping handfuls of his hair, I urged his mouth up to mine. As I shuddered and came apart, he kissed me deeply, desperately, until I calmed in his arms.

Then his mouth turned soft and gentle, to soft brushes of his lips over mine. He pulled his hand from between my legs, possessively resting his palm at the apex of my thighs before slowly trailing damp fingers up my belly. Gently, he laid a trail of kisses down my chin all the way to the curve of my breast, where his mouth met his hand. He licked at his fingers deliberately, letting out a heavy sigh as he tasted me.

"Fuck," he muttered, long and low. "I love the way you taste."

Hugging him to my chest, I raised my head until I could touch my lips to his hair. "Edward, please... I want you to feel good."

"I do, Bella. When you're with me, I feel...amazing." He didn't say anything more, but his tone told me all I needed to know.

"I'm here," I echoed, clutching him as tightly as I could. "You have me."

"I have you," he said in wonder, raising his face to look into my eyes. His were blacker than a moonless midnight, so deep they were fathomless as he practically crawled back up my body. He nuzzled at my throat, pressing sweet, soft kisses to the crook of my neck.

I groped for a handful of his shirt, pulling it halfway up his back before he took over and stripped it away. As soon as the fabric cleared his head, he swept those black eyes over my body, fixating on my hands as I reached down to fumble with his shorts.

"Bella...you need to hunt," he said hoarsely, words breaking as I tucked a finger beneath his waistband and grazed the soft trail of hair below his navel.

He was right. My throat burned like fire, but my body burned even more. I _needed_ him, needed the connection, the contact.

"I will," I assured him, "after." I pulled apart the fly of his shorts and slipped my hand fully inside.

"Bella," he repeated in a strangled tone, and I knew he was done. He was mine, just the way I liked him.

And I was his. _So_ his.

"Edward," I teased, mocking him gently, figuring that if anything would convince him that I was truly okay, acting like a smart-ass would do the trick. His mouth twitched, fighting a smile.

I shifted until he rested fully between my legs, chest to chest, hip to hip, my thighs wrapped around his. I tried to surround him with my body, desperate to make him _feel_ me. He melted into my embrace, his strong shoulders trembling as his hips came in contact with mine.

"I love you so much." I whispered it into his hair, loving the way the soft strands tickled my lips.

It was then that everything changed. Edward tensed, lifting his head. A frown creased his face as he looked toward the bedroom door. He was off the bed in an instant, rushing for the closet we shared. A bright yellow sundress flew out and landed in my lap.

"Edward?" I questioned, slowly sitting up and gesturing at the pile of fabric in my lap. My poor, bewildered mind was still stuck in sexy-time mode.

"Put it on," he said darkly, emerging from the closet and quickly zipping up before pulling his shirt back on. He looked delicious, all rumpled and pissed, his shirt askew, his jeans obviously tented. "Someone is coming."

Stunned into silence, I finally noticed the low hum of an approaching engine.

"Shit. She brought reinforcements? How long?" I croaked, yanking the dress over my head and making a fool out of myself when my arms got caught in the spaghetti straps. My coordination was shot to shit; I wondered if that was still some lingering symptom of almost having a head transplant. Then again, I'd always had problems, even after my transformation. I was the world's crappiest vampire, after all—the only clumsy vampire to walk this earth.

"We've got about two minutes before Dimitri moors his boat."

"Do I have time to hide?"

"I'm afraid hiding won't work, unless you can shield yourself. He's the best tracker our kind has ever known—he'll be able to track me anywhere on the planet, let alone here on the island. Our scent is all over this house, and since I'll be leaving you alone over my undead body, he's going to find us eventually. It would be ideal if we could resolve this situation without any more violence."

"You're kidding me, right?" _Is this real life? _

_Didn't I just have my head almost ripped off by a mythical creature? Oh, and I (along with my boyfriend / lover / life companion) was also the same type of mythical creature. And said boyfriend / lover / life companion ripped up his crazy ex-girlfriend because she tried to kill me._

_Yeah. I think that's about it. _

The soaps couldn't come up with anything better than that if they tried.

"Love, do you think you can manage to shield yourself?" he asked, pulling me out of my crazy head. I shrugged. "I need you to try, Bella."

Nodding, I pushed down all the discomfort of my fiery throat and the residual cloudiness in my skull, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite make myself concentrate enough to get a good grasp on my gift. My head screamed in protest as my brain tried to make the right connections, but it felt like I was being zapped by a strong electric current every time I tried and failed to gather the focus I needed.

Making a fist and pressing it above my right eye, which throbbed in excruciating pain from the effort I was expending, I hissed. "I can't do it."

"Shh...it's okay," he murmured, slipping an arm around my waist and pulling me close.

I rested my head against his strong shoulder, opening my clenched fist to take a handful of his hair.

Frustrated to the point of wishing I could have a good cry, I asked shakily, "What do I do?" My earlier bravado was completely gone. I was weak and thirsty, likely unable to use my talent until I fed, and I'd never felt like more of a liability. If only I'd just listened to Edward and stayed in that fucking tree! We were quite possibly screwed, and it was all my fault!

"You're going to stay right here, with me. We don't separate," Edward instructed, distracting me from the downward spiral of self-flagellation that overwhelmed my thoughts. He dipped his head, nuzzling my forehead with his nose to urge my face up to his. A small, smug smile played at his mouth. "If I keep you in my sight at all times, maybe I'll be able to prevent the inevitable meltdown when your newborn instincts take over."

I sighed. "Let's hope so."

He was teasing for the most part, but I wasn't. After getting my ass handed to me in the fight with Heidi, no one regretted my recklessness more than I did.

"Not all of us are as...batshit crazy as Heidi was," he continued, smirking. I couldn't help but smile at the sound of him picking up slang—that was more my speed. "Perhaps we can reason with Dimitri. Heidi tried to take your life. Though we have few rules as a species, threatening one's mate is not acceptable, as we mate for life. I had every right to burn her to ashes. All we're going to do is tell him the truth."

"She's gone, then?" I murmured, more out of relief than true curiosity. Most of me had known she was no more, that I was safe, but it was still comforting to know that Edward had eliminated the threat to our lives.

"Ashes," was all he said.

"Edward?" My voice was smaller than I would've liked.

"Yes, love?"

"Thank you." I couldn't keep from throwing my arms around his neck. "For saving me. Both times," I added softly.

He pressed soft lips to the apple of my cheek. "You save me every day, Bella. No thanks necessary."

.

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* * *

Notes:

_Bella's "Something" line is borrowed from one of my favorite movies, _Pulp Fiction_. Uma Thurman says the same thing after she OD's and John Travolta stabs her in the heart with an adrenaline shot. Gotta love a _good_ Tarantino film..._

_I want to apologize for not replying to reviews last time. Life got in the way, but I did manage to get another chapter to you. Just know that I read every one of them (more than once) and I'm really grateful for the feedback I get. I owe you guys one...but I've got to get the next chapter written first. I'm working on it. Thanks for hanging with me!_


	25. Brownian Motion

_Thanks to KristenLynn for the beta and the writing company. She holds me accountable, which turns out to be a good thing. :)_

_Yoga_gal and AmeryMarie preread and give great advice. Can't thank them enough. _

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**-Chapter 25: Brownian Motion-**

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Dimitri was imposingly tall, with an almost swarthy face (if there was such a thing as a swarthy vampire) surrounded by a shoulder-length mane of dark hair. He was dressed in an archaic, formal style, clothed in strict black and white from head to toe. My first instinct was to tell him that Antonio Banderas called—and he wanted his "Vampire Armand" costume back. However, I knew that wouldn't be the best idea, so I kept my mouth shut. Now was not the time for my mouth to write checks that my ass couldn't cash, so to speak.

I was appallingly weak. Though we managed to get me out to the dock to meet our new guest, I had to lean heavily against my mate. The base of my neck and the outer part of my right shoulder itched annoyingly; I assumed that was just a side effect of the healing. My throat burned with thirst, but we'd both agreed that we needed to meet this Dimitri as a united front—we couldn't afford to show weakness. Unfortunately, that left no time for me to hunt.

"Edward, old friend," Dimitri greeted, his voice deep and his tone surprisingly pleasant. He smiled slightly, inclining his head to me. "And who is your lovely lady?"

What the fuck was this? Vampire cotillion? Why was he wasting time on formalities? He had to know we'd just offed one of his colleagues. Hope bloomed in my stomach, and I wondered if Heidi's visit hadn't been so "official" after all.

"Dimitri, this is Bella. My mate." While Edward's voice was calm, his expression was rigid, as was the hand he kept firmly planted around my waist.

Dimitri's brows rose, the perfect face of surprise. "Your mate? How lovely. Congratulations, Edward." Dull, ruby-colored eyes shifted to me, studying my face and then tracking downward, lingering on my neck. My skin crawled, making my newly-healed wounds itch even more. "It is a pleasure to meet you, _Bellissima_."

Ignoring the fact that the man was being awfully familiar by giving me a stupid nickname, I nodded, swallowing back my instinct to snap. "Hello." The man made me uncomfortable; his red-hued eyes—so similar to my own fading newborn irises—seemed to absorb and catalog every single detail about me.

Leaving me feeling thoroughly exposed, he turned his attention back to Edward. "And what does our Heidi think of your...mate?" he asked nonchalantly, one eyebrow rising in an elegant arch. "I know she was rather..._partial _to your company, Edward."

A growl slipped out of me before I could rein it in. Fuck that crazy bitch and her stupid partiality. She was dust on the ground, because Edward didn't want her. Dimitri didn't miss my little slip-up, his gaze darting to me for a moment before he directed his attention to Edward.

Casting me a warning look from the corner of his eye, Edward tightened his grip on my side. "I think you and I both know what Heidi thinks...or rather, what Heidi _thought,_" he said, boldly confirming Dimitri's unsaid words.

"Ah, yes," Dimitri mused, cupping his chin as his gaze wavered back and forth from Edward to me. "I felt her mind flicker... So, it is what I feared? Heidi is no more?"

I knew from what Edward had told me in the minutes before Dimitri arrived that the vampire's talent laid in grasping and tracking the..._flavor_ of another's mind; he would know if someone he was tracking ceased to exist. I only hoped he would realize that as Heidi had posed a threat to Edward and me—as mates—and, as such, she would have to be eliminated if she stood in our way.

"She tried to kill Bella," Edward snarled, his eyes turning to darkest black. "I don't care how valuable she was to the Volturi, her life would never outweigh my mate's."

Dimitri remained silent, regarding both Edward and me with an impassive stare. Judgment had never felt so clinical, which scared me at first, but as time went on, I realized it could work in our favor.

"What happened?" he asked calmly, waiting for us to explain.

"Heidi wanted Edward," I blurted, cringing when Edward shot me a scowl.

"Go on," Dimitri instructed, crossing his arms over his chest.

I faltered, unsure whether to answer the tall, imposing vampire or obey my mate.

Edward saved me, his fingers caressing the dip of my waist in a reassuring gesture. "Heidi was unstable. I assume you know she wanted me to join you all in Italy—"

"Can your mate not speak for herself, Edward?" Dimitri questioned softly, his tone laced with reprimand. His eyes, however, remained fixed on me, the deep maroon of his irises piercing in their intensity.

Edward sighed sharply before he nodded, leaning in to press a light kiss to my forehead. "Go ahead, love."

I heard the reticence in his tone and took it as a warning to think carefully on my words. "She wanted Edward to come with her to Italy...without me. The things she said...I just couldn't stand there and take it. I rushed at her and she pinned me. Edward was frantic, willing to do anything she asked to keep me safe, but she just kept ripping at me..." In spite of my will to stay brave, the horror of those moments took over my mind, making my limbs weak, causing my fingers to shake. I closed my eyes tightly, taking a deep breath to center myself. "I'm aware of her history with Edward. And she made it very apparent that she wished that things between them would continue as they had before. When Edward informed her he was no longer interested, she just went crazy. She bit me—my neck, my shoulder... Nothing was going to stop her from tearing me apart."

"Heidi had Bella subdued within seconds, in spite of her newborn strength," Edward interrupted, stepping slightly in front of me, while still managing to keep hold of my waist. "There was no reason for her to injure Bella like she did. I did what I had to do," he finished, jaw clenching, his breath coming heavy and fast.

"So," Dimitri drew out, placing a hand at his jaw, one long finger stroking over the divot in his chin, "you disposed of Heidi to save your mate?" His tone was amused, as if he found the situation hard to believe.

"Yes," Edward spat through clenched teeth, his head bobbing in a stiff nod.

I found myself nodding along with him, and if my heart had been capable, it would have been pounding. He _had_ to believe us. He had to. "She was going to kill me," I added, involuntarily raising a hand to the base of my throat as Dimitri watched, his dead red irises going right to where my neck itched and burned.

"You've quite a scar, _Bellisima, _but it does not detract from your great beauty," Dimitri answered, gesturing to the length of my body. "It tells me that you're strong; it tells me that you've withstood a great assault and still survived."

A scar...one that I wasn't sure I wanted to see. But it didn't matter now—I'd be stuck with it forever, so I'd learn to deal with it.

A deep growl sounded in Edward's chest. I placed a hand on his where it rested at my waist, squeezing his fingers to subdue his anger. For once, I got to be the one who tried to stay calm, to remain rational in the face of overwhelming jealousy.

"Calm down, my friend. I do not wish to take away your mate. I was merely paying her a compliment," Dimitri assured, an amused smirk firmly stamped across his features. He was enjoying provoking us.

Of course. He was one of the Volturi. What else would they do but mess with us regular vampires for their own entertainment? They were the fucking Boss Hogg to our Dukes of Hazzard. Damn them. If only Edward and I had our own General Lee...but it wouldn't do us any good on a damn island, even if the car had a prayer of being faster than a vampire.

Yeah, right. Yee-fucking-haw.

Edward cleared his throat. His eyes pinned mine as he drew me closer, strengthening his stance. "Heidi was wrong to threaten her because of simple jealousy. She didn't want to accept that I'd moved on, that I no longer wanted her. She forced my hand."

Dimitri was silent for a long while. Finally, he crossed his arms over his chest and answered, "As evidenced by the proof of this one's wounds, I can find no argument with your explanation. I shall return to Volterra and inform Aro of Heidi's demise." His voice was commanding and sure, like that of a prince confident in his rule. "While Heidi was here in a recruitment capacity, she was to let you make your own decision, Edward. What she chose to do to convince you was her own doing. But I must warn you—both of you may be called upon to report to Volterra to appear in front of Aro's court. He may wish to hear your explanation for himself." He made eye contact with each of us, dark and threatening. "Do you agree?"

I looked to Edward to see what our answer would be. He let out a little breath, looking unhappy, yet slightly relieved. "We agree."

"Very good," Dimitri said, smiling calmly. How he could be so nonchalant when I wanted to be sick was beyond me. "Trust that I'll find you, in case there are any questions regarding today's events."

Edward nodded. "We're aware. We appreciate your understanding, and please give Aro our most sincere regrets."

Dimitri smirked, inclining his head in a mocking bow. "Until next time." Flat, rusty eyes swept over me once more, causing a shiver that I fought to hide. It was apparent to me that he clearly anticipated a _next time._ "It was lovely to meet you, _Bellisima_. Perhaps we'll meet again." He made a move to step closer, but apparently thought better of it as Edward stiffened next to me.

"Safe travels, Dimitri," Edward said pointedly, his mask of civility cracking.

I could feel the slight tremors he tried to hide from the other vampire, evident in the rigidity of his body where it came into contact with mine. He was barely holding on. Feeling helpless, I just leaned into him, trying to give comfort in touch. It wasn't hard—what miniscule strength I had left after the fight and the healing was long gone. Thirst ripped and tore at me, venom pooling steadily at the back of my mouth, scorching my tender throat with every swallow.

We both remained frozen as Dimitri turned and ambled nonchalantly to the end of the dock. He took his time, releasing the moorings and carefully folding away the ropes that had secured his boat. With one look back that seemed more threatening than anything else that had passed between us, he leapt into the craft and cranked the engine. With a powerful shove, he pushed the boat clear of the dock and shot off toward the horizon.

We'd been warned.

Edward let out a shuddering breath as his knees sagged, taking us both to the ground. He wrapped his arms around me and dragged my body fully into his lap, burying his face in my hair.

"Are we really still alive?" I asked, my question muffled by the way he was mashing my face against his chest.

A disbelieving laugh worked its way out of him. "Hard to believe, isn't it?"

"How did you know what to do?" I couldn't believe...was it finally over?

I felt him shake his head.

"Believe me, love, I had my doubts," he admitted, tightening his hold on me.

"But you were so confident..."

"I had to make you believe, Bella. And I was so fucking determined...I didn't wait this long to find you only to have our future ripped away by jealousy and vampire politics."

I squirmed in his hold. "Let me see you, please," I begged when he wouldn't budge.

He did as I asked, resting a gentle hand on the curve of my cheek as he lifted his head. His eyes were black, a residual effect of the emotions that still churned beneath the surface. They glittered like polished coal amidst the frozen stone of his face, burning with the desperate fire of a man who had just narrowly avoided losing everything.

"I'm okay," I whispered shakily, placing my hand over his. _"We're_ okay."

"We're okay," he repeated softly, stroking his thumb across my bottom lip. "God." It came out on a shaky breath as he swept down to press his mouth to mine. He exhaled against my lips, his breath feathering in a comforting warmth across my cheek and chin. Pulling back for a second, he pressed his forehead to mine, letting a pained moan slip from his lips. We seemed to hang in suspended time as his parted lips claimed my mouth again, his tongue exploring the inner surfaces of my lips. He pressed his thumb to my jaw, urging me to open wider, so he could taste me more fully, consuming me from the inside out.

A mixture of his venom and mine tingled on my tongue, sending heat pooling to other sensitive spots. But as much as I wanted to submit to him, in full view of the flora and fauna of our little forest, the burn in my throat demanded attention.

Placing my fingers on his chin, I pushed gently until he backed away, our lips reluctantly parting. "I need to hunt," I explained, wishing I had the strength to fight my thirst long enough to reassure him.

It took him a while to surface, and when his gaze finally met mine, his irises were still pitch-black and clouded with lust. I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself around him and let him finish what we'd started, but it was his embrace alone that kept me from falling to the ground.

"Oh, Bella...I'm sorry." He took a deep breath and shut his eyes, and I could practically feel him trying to gather his composure. It did nothing for my libido, which was screaming in disappointment at the way I'd put the brakes on our kiss. When he finally met my gaze again, it was with banked desire and determination. "Let's get you fed."

My response came on a single breath. "Okay."

"And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's hurry," he growled, standing with me in his arms. "I need you."

If he thought I had any complaints, he was delusional.

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-x-

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I looked up from the desiccated carcass of the capybara that I held crushed between my palms to find Edward glaring at me. His eyes were almost glowing, pupils expanding, swallowing the soft gold of his irises. I knew he'd fed, too; though I'd been too busy taking my own nourishment to pay much attention. After he brought me the first animal, my strength had returned quickly, and I was able to take down two more on my own.

It was fair to say the capybara population had been sufficiently culled. In fact, I wasn't sure it would recover. If any were left on the island, they were damn good hiders.

I dropped the body to the forest floor, trapped by his stare. A drop of blood tickled my chin as it slid from the corner of my mouth and, unwilling to waste it, I licked my lips quickly. Edward growled, his eyes darting to my mouth as he took a step forward. Even though I knew him, knew he wouldn't hurt me, as I took in the hard lines of his body—the way his hands clenched into fists at his sides, the choppiness of his breathing, the tension that radiated from every inch of him—the newborn in me was terrified.

I was running before I knew it, branches whipping past my face, disintegrating as they slapped against my limbs. My body was fleeing without permission from my brain, but fuck if I could figure out how to wrest control from the fight or flight response that had me completely in its grip.

_Run. Hide. _

It was on constant repeat inside my head, looping faster and faster as my panic grew.

"Bella!" Edward roared, coming up behind me faster than I could have ever imagined, still growling.

I felt every step as he neared, vibrations rippling out across the ground in circular waves, like huge raindrops hitting the surface of still water. He was so close I could feel his breath on my neck, and in a desperate bid to escape, I called on my shield. I felt the now familiar melding as I merged with the background, and I sighed in relief, realizing that my gift had returned along with my strength.

At that moment, Edward's hand clamped around my wrist as his other arm came around my waist, pulling me back against him. Any attempt to shield myself was rendered useless with the contact, and I let it go. But as soon as I felt his touch, I realized that while it wasn't gentle, it most certainly wasn't violent. The panic literally drained out of me, fizzled out, leaving me trembling in its wake.

"Why did you run from me?" Edward demanded, breathing harshly as he turned me to face him. His eyes were still wild, but lurking underneath the remnants of the chase there was hurt—a lot of hurt.

He was devastated.

And I suddenly felt lower than dirt.

"I...I don't know," I forced out, my throat tight. Shame flooded my body, settling hot in my chest. "I just...I saw you looking at me, and your eyes were so dark...you were growling... After everything that's happened...I was afraid."

Stricken, his face crumpled, his hold loosened. "Why? You never have to be afraid of me, Bella."

"I know! I just...I just ran! I'm so sorry...I mean, I didn't even make the decision. All the shit with Heidi, and then Dimitri... I _knew_ you wouldn't hurt me, but it was like my body _didn't_. I'm sorry!" Twisting my hand from his grip, I placed my palms on his chest and waited until he could look me in the eye. "Newborn meltdown?" I whispered as an excuse, trying to smile. "At least it didn't happen when Dimitri was here, right?"

Edward sighed, some of the tension melting from his shoulders, but not all. "Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Of course!"

"All this hasn't made you wish you'd never met me? None of this would have happened to you if it wasn't for me."

I could feel him pulling away, see it in his eyes. He was locking himself up, becoming the frigid statue again, and I panicked.

"No! Edward—" I stammered, shutting my mouth with a snap when he shot me a dark look.

"Fuck!," he snapped, looking up at the canopy in frustration. "Don't you realize, Bella? That damn cougar wouldn't have attacked you if I'd done what I should have and stayed away!"

My panic flamed into anger. He was going to use that shit to heap onto his pile of self-loathing? "Oh, come on, Edward! Not everything revolves around your presence in my life."

"If they hadn't smelled my scent on you, you would have never been attacked," he said through clenched teeth, sounding like he was fighting a growl.

Roughly, I pushed at his shoulders, sending him staggering back a few steps. "Are you fucking psychic?" I demanded, stalking after him as he stood there in shock. "Did you know for sure that I'd get attacked that day? Did you know about the new cougar we got in? Did you _know_ my partner would leave me alone in the cage with it?"

"No, but—"

"But what? I'm _alive_ because of you." God, why did everything have to revolve around him and his self-loathing bullshit? When was he going to realize that he was a _good_ man, that he deserved to be happy, maybe more than anyone else?

"Hello, I read minds," he retorted, rolling his eyes. "I believe that yes, that does qualify as psychic."

I could feel my eyes bulge at his stubbornness. _That _was the only thing he heard? He still refused to see, and it infuriated me. I came closer and pushed him again, until his back hit a huge mahogany tree. He was trapped.

"You can't read mine!"

"Oh, but I can!" He was getting just as riled as me now, adrenaline morphing into one hot mass of anger. His fists clenched at his sides again, and he wanted to shove me back, I could tell.

Half of me hoped he would, just because that would be some kind of reaction other than withdrawing from me.

"I heard you when Heidi had you pinned!" he reminded me.

"Only when I _let_ you," I grated, my voice rising. Birds scattered from the trees above, squawking their displeasure with us and our loud disturbance.

"Then let me now." He looped an arm around my waist, pulling me up against him.

I gasped at the sudden movement, looking up to find him looming over me, gaze locked on mine. "What?"

"Let me in." His fingers spread wide on my back, tugging me off-balance and forcing me to brace my hands on his chest. He brought one hand to my face, gently tapping his index finger to my temple. "Let me hear you," he requested, his voice softer now. "Show me...let me in."

"I don't know if I can. If I can remember how."

"Try. Please," he breathed, his brow creasing. He looked so sad, so desperate. He needed this badly, after all that had happened. I knew he wanted to believe me, but if I could _show_ him...there would be no more questions.

I couldn't do anything but try for him.

I took a deep breath, letting my eyes drift closed as I tried to center myself. "Okay."

Though it was hard to relive those moments in Heidi's grasp, I knew I had to suffer through it in order to remember how to let Edward in. I let myself get sucked into the vortex of memories, the sensations and sounds that still felt just as real as the actual events.

Ripping, tearing...not just flesh. Shreds of my soul flayed off, floating to my feet in fluttering strands.

I struggled to lift the shield from my mind, even though it was like having my chest cracked open, like turning my skin inside out.

My very insides were bared, open, glistening and vulnerable for him to see, just as delicate as vital organs. I didn't know if I could withstand it—this feeling like something pulled at every part of me, fighting to rip out the very heart of everything that made me. But I took it. I endured, because Edward needed to _see_.

He needed to see how much I loved him.

How much I needed him.

How happy he made me.

How I lived to tease him. To make him laugh. To lighten the darkness that tried to define him.

How I lived to show him he _was_ worthy. Of me, of love, of joy in his life.

All thoughts fled as his lips settled on mine, parted and damp and insistent. I dove into the kiss, letting the shield snap back into place. The pain disappeared, replaced with the exhilaration I always felt in Edward's arms.

"Oh, Bella...I hoped..." Another kiss, this one gentle, reverent. "But I never..." He abandoned the thought, molding his mouth to mine as his fingers wove through my hair.

_He heard me_, I realized. _He heard it all_. I couldn't help but smile into his kiss as I slid both hands up and over his shoulders, one hand finding purchase in the soft hair at the back of his head, the other fisting in midair as his tongue traced a hot path across the seam of my lips.

"Please tell me you know," I said against his mouth, struggling to open the shield again. _Tell me you know what I feel for you. _

_Tell me you know I'd die for you...that I almost did._

That I'd do it again and again, as long as it kept him safe.

But even more, I'd fight to stay alive for him, in spite of any threat. I'd do the impossible, overcome the insurmountable, just to be able to stand with him when all was done. My knees buckled as I lost my grip. Drained, I gave him all my weight.

With a raw groan, he pulled me up even with him, lifting my feet off the ground. His arms locked around my lower back, clamping us together from chest to thigh as he started forward.

I hoped to God he was heading for the house, because while I wanted him—_now_—I didn't want this to happen outside, in the forest. I wanted him in our bed, surrounded by everything that was _us. _

"Thank you, Bella. Thank you..." His lips were flavored with salty blood and heady sweetness; he was warm and soft, yet urgent and demanding. With one strong hand on the back of my thigh, he guided me to wrap my legs around his waist as he mounted the steps to the back door. Satisfaction flooded warm and deep as he took us to our bedroom, ignoring broken canopies and splintered wood, stepping over debris and reminders of just how far he was willing to go to keep me. He never took his mouth from mine as he lowered me to the mattress. Gently, he laid me on top of soft down and crisp, fragrant cotton, and proceeded to rip every shred of clothing from my body.

I did the same, tossing the remnants of his clothes to the corners of the room. When he finally broke the kiss, I breathed, "Do you see?"

A deep, ragged sob was his only response, as his hands roamed every inch of my body, claiming all of me for himself. Reasserting his ownership, he held me splayed out beneath him, open just as surely as when I'd ripped myself apart just to let him see all of me.

"Tell me," I demanded, clutching desperately at his shoulders, absorbing his strength, his need. "Tell me you see."

Pressing his forehead to mine, he wedged a knee between my legs, spreading me wide before settling heavy hips in the cradle of my thighs.

I felt him, hard and thick, as he thrust forward, filling me halfway. I was almost ready, but not quite, and I couldn't hold back the cry of surprise I felt at the piercing pressure. Before he could pull away, before he could condemn himself, I grasped his hips and arched against him, my back bowing up off the bed.

"More," I gasped, exposing my throat to him, calling out when his lips attached to the base of my throat, burning over the scars Heidi had left.

Edward stiffened, and I knew he was fighting. With himself, fighting me, fighting us. Before I could attempt to convince him to let go, he did it on his own, thrusting forward, connecting our bodies completely.

"Oh, love," he moaned, licking at the sensitive lines of my new scars, moving in, out, in... "Bella... I see..."

I smiled, riding so high, just knowing that I was taking him down, brick by brick, cell by cell.

Sound by sound.

Breath by breath.

_Melt into me, Edward. I can take you. I can hold you...and I can keep you._

_Forever._

"Oh, fuck," he muttered, increasing his speed, his depth, his strength.

I took it, took him, becoming the soft to his hard. The warmth to his chill.

He thrust again and froze, trembling above me.

I opened my eyes, meeting his—dark pitch pupils lined in brilliant gold as he lost himself in me. It was everything I ever wanted, and everything he ever needed, all at once. Two pieces of the most complicated puzzle snapping together, glued, barbed tightly, inseparable. Everything darkened, then burst into light, and I wondered if I'd lose consciousness again.

Edward surrounded me, held me up, anchored me to the world when I wanted to float away.

"I love you," I whispered, sinking into the soft bedding, pulling him with me.

He smiled, so bright and warm. "I know," he returned quietly, melting against me, winding his arms beneath my back and rolling until I sprawled on top of him.

I grinned in return, drifting in the silence and joy. He was mine, but more importantly, he'd realized just how very much I was _his._

_._

_._

_._

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_All together now: awww. _

_So, tell me what you thought – were you expecting another fight? Edward and Bella are safe for now, but who knows with those damn Volturi. _

_Hope everyone is enjoying their three-day weekend in the States! Gotta love national holidays. And if you know me, you know anything that calls for grilling, drinking, and laying around in the sun is A+ in my book. _

_Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear from you if you feel like leaving a comment. See you next time!_


	26. Spectator Ions

Twilight is the intellectual property of Stephenie Meyer. I'm just messing around with it.**  
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**-Chapter 26: Spectator Ions-**

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Even in light of recent events, it was hard to leave the island. It had become someplace special for the two of us, the place that allowed us to connect like we were meant to. In the end, we both agreed it was the smartest choice. The isolation left us too vulnerable to attack now that we were being watched, and we decided we'd be better off somewhere closer to civilization. After speaking with Carlisle at length, Edward and I decided it was time to go back to Washington.

For me, it was a return to clouds and rain, to the damp fall chill. It also meant a return to constant reminders of the parents I'd lost, and the search they still continued. For Edward, it meant a return to the Cullens, which would no doubt be difficult for him. But as much as he disliked the idea, we knew there was safety in numbers. Should the Volturi come calling, the rest of the Cullens would stand with us.

Or they'd have to deal with me. They _owed_ Edward.

However, we weren't returning to Seattle; we were settling a few hours away. Tucked deep in the lush, green rainforest of the peninsula was the town of Forks—our new home, for now. The idea of living with the Cullens made me nervous. I knew Carlisle was beyond curious about my newfound abilities, and he'd let it slip more than once that Alice had a theory about my talent she wanted to test out. I wasn't sure I was ready to live under the same roof with them again, and not just because I wanted to avoid being the lab rat. _I should be the one _running_ the experiments, not the object of study!_

Edward was just about as enthusiastic about the idea as I was. The closer we got to Forks, the more tense he became—I'd heard the subtle crack of the steering wheel at more than once, an innocent victim of his nerves and the strength of his hands. I hated seeing him like this.

Returning to Washington also meant we'd both have to deal with Alice's cryptic and bossy self, and then I'd have to soothe Edward's ruffled feathers afterward. He'd start looking like he was in pain all the time, which would make me need to comfort him in any way I could. The best way to do that wasn't exactly conducive for living in a house with six other people; I suspected we'd be frustrated as hell within a week. Or more like a day.

I doubted those two would ever truly get along again, but it would be best for both of them to let the past remain exactly that. Not that I wanted him to forget—it would be extremely foolish for him to disregard what Alice was truly capable of. Though he tried to hide it, I knew Edward missed his family, especially Carlisle and Esme. However, it wasn't up to me. What he needed from me was unconditional support, so that's what he'd get. It was simple math.

I shifted in the passenger seat of the outrageously expensive rental car Edward had arranged for us. We'd arrived just after midnight, setting down in an exclusive private airfield usually used for corporate jets and the like. With our arrival in Washington came accomplishment. Though Edward had done all he could to make sure that my exposure to humans would be minimal, he hadn't counted on the maintenance workers that were scurrying around the base of the plane at the gate next to ours. Though it had been a close call—I'd barely managed to overcome the instinct to rip open the fuselage of the plane like a tin can and start snacking. I had no idea how I managed it, but somehow I did. The incident left me with the confidence that, with intense concentration, I might finally be able to tolerate the presence of humans.

It was a breakthrough I looked forward to working on. It gave me hope—hope that I'd be able to see my parents again someday soon, though I kept my idea from Edward. I didn't think he'd agree. I wouldn't broach the subject with him until I was absolutely sure I could keep a tight grip on my control. But that was a discussion for another day. For now, I had to get Edward through this new phase we were entering. I knew I could do it, because he did the same for me. It was what we did for each other, what we would always do for one another, no matter what.

It was my turn to do for him what he'd been doing for me since we'd met. Staring out the window, I absently traced the jagged path of the new scar along base of my neck, feeling along the barely raised lines. A shudder ran down my spine as I remembered the first time I'd seen it, the morning after Dimitri's visit.

.

-x-

.

_Stepping up to the fogged mirror, I braced my hands against the cool granite and leaned against the counter. The stone felt delicate against my fingers, and I had to remind myself not to dig my fingertips too hard into the surface. _Gentle.._. It wouldn't do to leave claw marks in Esme's countertop, especially after all the damage this entire house had seen._

_Once I remembered, it wasn't so hard to keep from crushing the fragile rock beneath my hands. But ever since I "woke up" (I didn't know what else to call it) after getting my ass kicked, it was hard not to be a little tense. Nervously, I fingered the lapel of the thin cotton waffle-weave of my robe. _

_I was stalling._

_My throat went a little dry at the thought of what was under the flimsy material. _Do I go slow, or do I just do it all at once?

_I've never been a 'rip the band-aid off quickly' kind of girl. But..._

I'm a different person now. Maybe it's time for me to change a few things. Get it over with, Bella.

_In under a year, I'd seen things I never expected to be real, things resigned only to imagination and amusement. Now I was a part of a world that I never knew existed__, __and in that world__—__where I was supposed to be immortal__—__I'd almost died...for the second time. The _final_ time._

_I was no longer quite the same. But I didn't mind the change. I embraced it._

I am lucky.

I get to spend the rest of foreseeable forever with my other half, my closest ally, my..._everything_.

_Taking a deep, fortifying breath, I closed my eyes, raised a hand slowly, and pulled the cotton aside. I tugged at the belt tied at my waist, loosening the robe slightly. Sliding the fabric off my shoulder, I let it hang there. _

The scars didn't matter. At least, they wouldn't...if I could just open my eyes.

_I only let myself take one more breath before I raised my lids, finding a reflection that still didn't seem to be _me,_ no matter how many times I'd seen it. I always felt like I was looking at a retouched photo of myself. Pale, shimmering lines marked the places where my neck and shoulder had been separated. They snaked down across my collarbone, disappearing underneath my arm. The imprint of Heidi's final bite, a wide crescent shape, marked the crook of my neck; it gradually morphed into jagged rips and tears across the base of my throat. In the mirror, I traced them with a fingertip, feeling a corresponding tingle in every single line. Panic welled in my stomach, and I knew if I closed my eyes now, I'd see it all happening again. _

_The scars would shimmer more brightly than the rest of my skin in the sunlight; though I'd never seen it, somehow I knew it was true. Never would I be able to hide the fact that I'd been impulsive and rash. I could never conceal the evidence of my weakness in the face of a skilled adversary. _

_My breath caught on a futile sob, and I felt every bit of the agony again, every twinge and stab and slash, wrapped up in mere milliseconds. I braced my hands on the countertop, gritting my teeth to hold back the scream that wanted free. _

_That was the way Edward found me. _

"_Bella?"_

_I shook my head, unable to tear my gaze away from the mirror. I couldn't close my eyes; if I did, Heidi would be there again—ripping and tearing, rending my flesh._

_Gentle hands cupped my upper arms as he lined himself up along my back. "Love, don't do this. You're fine. Perfect."_

_I sagged back against him, letting my head hang forward, finally breaking the staring contest with the evidence of my foolishness. Squeezing my eyes shut, I took a shuddering breath, daring Heidi's ghost to appear when Edward was here to guard me. I wanted to agree, but if I spoke out loud, I was afraid I'd give in to the urge to scream. Instead, I nodded, hoping that would be enough._

_Edward turned me in his arms, lowering his head next to mine. Our cheeks grazed, a fleeting caress. He looped one arm around my waist, drawing me closer, and brushed the hair from my shoulder before sliding a palm down my back. I breathed out a soft sigh of anticipation as soft, loving lips landed on the marks, skimming over the sensitive surface of my skin. I pressed my nose into the soft fabric of his shirt, breathing deeply, basking in his closeness. _

"_It's okay," he murmured, dragging the tip of his nose up the side of my neck. "I'll save you, always."_

_I knew he would, but..._

"_What if I want to save myself?" I didn't ask the question to hurt him, and somehow he knew. And it was apparent then just how much letting him see my thoughts had changed things. He didn't question my feelings anymore._

_A soft, low chuckle feathered against the spot just underneath my ear. "Then I'll teach you how."_

_I raised my head, opening my eyes to meet the intense glow of his. _

"_Anything, Bella. Always," he told me, coming closer, until I could feel his breath on my lips. "Whatever you need."_

.

-x-

.

"Bella? Where are you?" Edward asked, amusement evident in the lilt of his voice. He glanced at me from his relaxed position in the driver's seat, cocking his head before fixing his attention on the road.

I sighed. "Back on Isle Esme."

"We can go back sometime, love. After..."

"_After _the stupid Volturi?" I asked sourly, crossing my arms over my chest. "What if they never come? Will we wait forever?"

"There are ways to get around the Volturi."

I heard another crack as he clenched his fingers on the steering wheel.

"Well, I guess we both know what _that_ means." I meant his agitation, and I was pretty sure he knew it. "You think they'll send for us."

Edward laughed mirthlessly and shrugged. "When you spend almost a century as a brooding, pessimistic vampire..." he trailed off, a sardonic smirk creasing one side of his face.

I reached across the console to link my fingers with his. "That's why we're going to analyze the shit out of my shield, right?"

He scowled without looking at me. "You _will_ keep yourself safe, Bella."

I smiled. "You're right, I will. Because you're going to teach me how to kick some pretentious vampire ass. You promised."

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-x-

.

Carlisle, Emmett, and Rosalie were waiting in the front yard when we pulled up to the house in Forks.

Our new home was a pristine white, three-story Victorian-style giant with a wrap-around veranda. Taupe gingerbread lattices hung daintily from the eaves, reminding me of lace fans and southern belles. Obviously, Edward and his family had no concept of frugality. It was simply beautiful, and I couldn't wait to explore. Secluded deep in the woods and bordered by a river at the back of the property, it was just isolated enough to keep me from going rabid at the scent of humans from the nearby town proper.

"Welcome home," Carlisle greeted as Edward and I stepped from the car. I looked around, wondering where the others were.

"Esme, Alice, and Jasper will return from Seattle tomorrow. They're still taking care of some last-minute things in the city," he explained.

Edward nodded stiffly, glancing in my direction before visibly relaxing. I loved that he looked to me for reassurance.

Quickly, I sped around the car and took his hand, giving it a squeeze before we both stepped forward to greet his family.

"Little Bella," Emmett hailed, stealing me from Edward's side and catching me up in a huge, rib-cracking bear hug.

_Huh. I didn't realize I'd be missed quite so much._

I was slightly creeped out. And slightly giddy, because Emmett and Rose were my favorites of Edward's family, by far. I'd missed them.

"What's up, Paul Bunyan?" Affectionately, I smacked him on the chest when he set me down.

"Ow, Bella! What the fuck? And don't call me Paul Bunyan. It's a fucking insult. I'm from Tennessee—Davy Crockett rules." Emmett scoffed, shooing me in Rose's direction. He needed to brush up on his history—Davy Crockett died in the Alamo, which meant he was from Texas, right?

Shit. Maybe I needed a history lesson, too.

Thoughts of futile battles, American folk-heroes, and raccoon-skin hats fluttered away as Rosalie swept me up in a hug that lifted my feet off the ground. Bitch was too tall for a girl.

Yeah, I was jealous. But I'd never let her know it.

"Did you miss me?" I joked, tugging on a strand of her hair as she set me back on my feet. She pushed me away playfully, and I stumbled back into Edward, who stood by rigidly. I still held a few strands of her hair between my fingers.

"As much as one misses a rock in her shoe," Rose retorted with a grin, rubbing her scalp. "It's good to see you."

Edward cleared his throat, shifting back and forth on restless feet.

I glanced back, finding him clearly uncomfortable, and I reached out to take his hand in mine again. "Edward, can you show me the house?" I asked, hoping to divert his attention to something less awkward.

"Well...I've never lived here, Bella..." Edward began, only to be interrupted by Carlisle.

"Come in, come in. I'd be glad to show you the house," he ventured, holding out his hand.

I was hesitant to take it, and he let it drop awkwardly.

Edward spoke up before I could make a decision. "A tour would be nice," he offered, his eyes on mine.

When I looked back at Carlisle, he was watching the both of us with a soft, hopeful smile on his face. "Of course," he said warmly.

"You guys go ahead. We'll grab your stuff from the car." Rose grabbed Emmett's arm and dragged him to the Jaguar.

"Aww, baby, why do we always get luggage detail?" I heard Emmett whine as the three of us entered the foyer.

I smiled to myself. Some things had changed, but a few remained quite the same.

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-x-

.

Carlisle quickly walked us through a lush living room, a state of the art media room, and another beautiful, yet useless kitchen before he paused to look back at us, clearly unsure.

"I suppose that's it," he said, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his dress pants, rocking back on his heels. I'd never seen him so nervous, even when I woke up for the first time as a newborn, when they were all terrified that I'd go ballistic. "The second floor is where you'll find all the bedrooms, and the entire third floor—the former attic—has been converted into a sunroom at the back of the house. I think you'll find that while you can't enjoy the rare sunny days out in the open, it's a perfect place to soak up the sunlight," he concluded with a tentative smile. "I'm sure you'll be missing it after your months on Isle Esme.

"There's one more thing. Esme and I thought that perhaps you two would want a bit more privacy. There's a little place in the woods, about two miles away. You're welcome to stay in this house as long as you like, of course, but if you choose to stay in the in the cottage, you're free to visit us anytime. The cottage, however, is yours alone."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I couldn't contain my instant smile, and though Edward had trouble showing it, I knew he appreciated the gesture.

"You're most welcome," he returned with a nod and a satisfied expression.

"Yes, Carlisle...thank you," Edward added, his voice low and slightly hoarse. I knew then how much this meant to him, and I hoped Carlisle did, as well.

"Wow. That's..." I looked up at Edward, noting the cloud of confusion that flashed across his eyes. He was quickly becoming overwhelmed, and I squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"Perfect," Edward finished, looking away quickly. A tense silence fell, and though I was immortal, I'd never felt more human as awkwardness settled in a tense cloud around us.

Carlisle cleared his throat, nodding. "Well, I'd imagine that you'd like to see the rest of the house..."

"Wait," I interrupted, needing to somehow make things right for both men.

Carlisle was important to Edward, and if I could make things better between them, that was just one more thing I could do to show him how much I cared. Maybe I was even starting to care for Carlisle a little bit. It was hard not to like the guy, but he still wasn't forgiven until Edward said so.

"I appreciate all you've done to make me—_us_—comfortable. But if this whole thing is going to work out, you have to promise him one thing..." My throat grew tight with the importance of my next words.

Edward grasped my hand, squeezing lightly and pulling me toward his body so he could surround me in his arms, his comfort. He smiled as I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, and I knew we were on the same page.

"No more lies. No more..._forcing,_" I said, my voice rough. I softened my tone before continuing. "Even if you mean the best for the one you love, it's not necessarily _what's_ best. When you went along with Alice, you hurt Edward more than you could have ever imagined. That's the real injustice here. Because this man...he's the most considerate, most loving, most sincere person I've ever met. He didn't deserve to be locked away, even if you thought he'd become everything you taught him not to be. You should have had enough faith in him to know that his character would win out in the end. To know that no matter what happened in between, that the Edward you _know_...he's the one that will always come through."

"Bella," Edward whispered haltingly, pulling me close, and I didn't give a shit if it was appropriate in front of someone else or not. Only that he knew this was another way he could see how deeply my feelings ran.

"She's right," Carlisle whispered, almost to himself. "I should have known..." He took a deep breath, screwing his eyes shut for a moment. "Edward, I know I've told you before, but I'm so eternally sorry...and I was so wrong. But we've relied on Alice's gift for so long...I was terrified that this would never happen for you if I didn't use her vision as guidance."

Shock froze me, like a good dousing with a bucket of ice-cold water. "What are you talking about?"

Edward was equally tense behind me, and I could feel the disquiet that thickened every emotion in the room. Everything was so..._heavy._

"Carlisle," Edward growled in warning, his grip on me tightening almost imperceptibly.

"I'm sorry, Edward...but she needs to know..."

"Know _what_?" I snapped, looking from one man to the other. Edward's face was a mask of stone, fixed in shocked anger. He knew—he could see what the other man was going to say, and he hated it.

Carlisle seemed to deflate right in front of us. "This should be Alice's story to tell, but I can't..." He sighed in defeat. "We needed you to find your mate, Edward. Every outcome Alice saw—until the final decision—ended with you killing her and bringing the Volturi down on all of us. When we decided to..._restrain_ you, that outcome disappeared. Please believe me when I say we thought we were doing the right thing."

"You never thought that maybe that outcome disappeared because it ended up driving me away?" Edward snapped. He laughed, and it was grating, harsh. There was no humor in the sound. "And the Volturi are probably still coming. Oops."

The silence that followed was deafening, in spite of the forceful words that echoed in my head.

I couldn't stand it.

"This was all because of me? You did that to him _because of me?_" I blurted, not wanting to believe Carlisle's words.

My knees felt weak. My lungs closed off, even though breath wasn't necessary. Anguish built inside me until I thought I would break apart.

"You did that to him because of me?" I repeated. Cold, empty hysteria was chewing a hole in my chest. The grief I felt was nearly crippling. "No..." I whispered, wishing fervently that I'd never broached this topic. It had always been a fear of mine, ever since that conversation with Rose, back in Seattle. Before Edward took me to the island.

It seemed like so long ago.

"I'm so very sorry," Carlisle repeated in an anguished tone.

Sure, he was sorry, but what good did that do? Edward had been tortured because of me...locked away and betrayed by his family, all _because of me._ And when I thought of how badly I'd treated him just after my change...the very idea was horrifying.

Edward turned me, pressing my face into his chest. His arms encircled my body, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "Love, don't do this to yourself," he murmured, resting his cheek on top of my head. Vaguely, I heard him say, "Carlisle, could you please give us a moment?"

"Of course. I'll find Emmett and Rosalie; we'll finish taking your things to the cottage."

And then he was gone. I wished he had taken the weight of his admission with him.

"It doesn't mean anything, Bella," Edward told me, tucking my head beneath his chin. "It doesn't matter."

_He _was the one comforting _me?_ By all rights, he should hate me...

"Of course it matters! I don't want to think that you had to go through something like that for me!" I was sobbing now, my eyes stinging, my throat aching for want of actual tears to cry. "And the worst of it? I don't believe it's true. You wouldn't have killed me...I know it."

"But, Bella...if I did...I wouldn't have survived it. No matter what happened in between, I'd much rather it be like this...I'd go through anything to have you with me now."

"How can you stand the sight of me?"

He was silent until I lifted my head. Eyes tight with worry, he said, "Because I can't stand the sight of anything _without_ you."

"What Carlisle said...that's what you meant by 'becoming the monster?' You knew the whole time...?"

A humorless smile pulled at his mouth, but even that was fleeting. "Mind reader."

"But how—"

"It doesn't _matter_. It wasn't your fault, love. None of it. Yes, I knew why they did it, but when I met you—when I managed to retain control, when I realized I was tired of trying to stay away from you—I knew I would prove them wrong."

"You..._what?_ You just wanted to prove them wrong?" If I thought I couldn't hurt any more after hearing Carlisle's confession, I was wrong. Though I knew he loved me now, the thought that I was only a challenge to him at first...

"No! No, that's not what I meant at all," he promised, smoothing his palm up and down my back. "I _knew_ I would prove them wrong—I knew I wouldn't kill you, because as I got to know you, you became my very reason for living."

His words were sure and strong as his eyes held mine, piercing in their intensity. How could I not believe him? Combined with the almost serene smile that slowly curved his lips and the warmth with which he regarded me, there was no question.

It really didn't matter to him. Not where I was concerned. And if he wanted me, I wasn't going to ruin it. What I _could_ do was spend all my time making sure he was happy.

"We're together—and we have so much time...so much time," he said, and it was confident, sure.

Forever spun out in that moment, like a golden thread that branched into a million moments along the way, ones we'd share together.

I smiled widely, letting him see the sheer joy that gave me. "I love you a lot, you know that?"

"I do," he returned immediately, a little catch in his voice. Softly, he pressed his lips to mine, pulling back with a hopeful smile. "Come on...let's go see this cottage. We need someplace that's ours alone."

I couldn't argue with that.

.

-x-

.

We were quiet on the walk through the woods, which we'd taken at a human pace. I needed the time to think, to regroup—and Edward sensed that. He always knew just how to make me feel more comfortable, how to help me reason things out.

On the way, my roiling emotions calmed, leaving me with a deep ache in my chest, one that had me clinging to his hand that held mine. I desperately needed that small point of contact and so much more. I thought back on all we'd been through, and I couldn't believe I'd ever entertained the idea of living this life without him. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I'd never truly wanted to leave him behind; my love for him had just been buried beneath a lot of fear and confusion, topped with a healthy dose of newborn volatility.

"Wow," I breathed as I pulled Edward over the threshold of the quaint little stone and log cabin about two miles away from the Cullen home. "I think this room is going to be my favorite."

Tilting his head toward mine, he sent me a warm smile. "You haven't even seen the other rooms," he said, laughing quietly.

I shrugged. "Don't care."

The small foyer spilled into a deceptively large great room. A sectional sofa covered in soft, beige microsuede anchored the room, accented with vibrant overstuffed purple pillows. Long and sleek, a chocolate brown chaise lounge held court in the corner of the glass-walled space. Windows bracketed by delicate white wisps made up the walls on two sides, and I knew that on sunny days, light would spill through, creating a bright glow that would light up everything inside. On another wall stood a river-rock fireplace, supplied with crisp, dry wood. A dark, wooden coffee table rested in the center of the room, boasting a stack of books next to a pile of attractive photography magazines. Lush, green plants—hardy succulents and delicate tropicals alike—limned the room with splashes of vibrant green. A brilliant, patterned area rug tied it all together, defining the space.

"There's no bed," Edward tried again, linking his hands behind my back and dipping his head to drop a soft kiss on the tip of my nose. He was still a bit tense underneath my fingers, but I could feel him relaxing slowly as we held each other.

"Well, we don't sleep." I smirked up at him, blinking innocently before running my own nose along the sharp angle of his jaw. We both needed a distraction, and I knew the best kind...

It seemed he did as well, from the wicked gleam that lit his eyes.

"Beds are good for more than just sleeping, beautiful girl," he admonished, one hand sliding down over my hip, his palm rubbing in a slow, suggestive circle.

"Hmmm? Are they?" I mumbled, tipping my head back. It was almost impossible to concentrate on anything but the feel of his body against my own. Nothing was better than this, and I needed this reconnection so badly...

"Definitely. I'm surprised you forgot." His voice was chiding, disappointed, as he placed an open-mouthed kiss on the underside of my jaw.

Deliberately shoving away everything that had come before, feeling bold, I countered, "I didn't forget."

Edward started to laugh, skimming his lips along the crook of my neck. His breath feathered across my skin, leaving a trail that burned. My thoughts dissolved, taking my snarky response with them. Instead, I went with the truth.

"I just figured we'll christen every damn room in this cottage eventually, so why waste our time picking out a favorite with a bed as its only redeeming quality?"

He hummed low, like he was thinking it through. "I'm afraid I can't find fault with that logic."

"You shouldn't even try," I closed my teeth on the supple flesh of his earlobe. "I'm an evil genius."

"You're an evil _something_," he replied, backing toward one end of the sofa. "A seductress."

I snorted loudly, pushing him down and straddling his lap. Burying my laughter in his shoulder, I couldn't even stop giggling long enough to make fun of the reappearance of his antiquated speech.

_Seductress? _

Really?

And then I completely forgot about the teasing as he clamped his hands around my hips, pulling me down and arching his own hips upward at the same time. Slowly dragging one hand up my spine, he sat up straight, wrapped my hair around his fist, tugged my head back, and took my mouth. His lips were so warm, so soft and smooth as he moved lower, exploring the path of my scars. He did that all the time now, like he thought he could make them disappear with his kiss.

I didn't care what he thought as long as he kept doing it.

Goose bumps broke out all along my arms as he trailed his tongue in an intricate pattern over my throat, stoking the heat building deep inside of me until it seemed like warmth radiated from my skin. I couldn't keep my hands off him—I squeezed his strong shoulders, trailed the hard, sleek muscles of his back, dipped my fingertips beneath the sleeves of his t-shirt to feel his biceps. All of him was so pleasing to me. Sure, he was the most attractive man I'd ever seen, but the simple fact that he was my _mate_ made him the most appealing person I'd ever known. He simply made me happy...and that was all I would ever want. I knew that being back near his family wasn't the best thing for him, but it was the best thing for _us_. And so he did it. An overwhelming wave of love and sadness swelled inside my chest.

Trailing my fingers up to thread through his hair, I urged him to lift his head. His lids were heavy, lowered over eyes that darkened as I watched.

"Are you okay with this?" I questioned softly. "I know it's the safest thing...but I don't want you to be unhappy."

A sad smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, and he laughed a little sigh. "I am." His voice was warm, reassuring...but I still wasn't convinced.

"Edward..." I stopped when he shook his head slightly, smiling more fully.

"I promise you, Bella. I'm surprisingly okay with this. If it keeps you safe..." He shrugged, bringing a hand up to cup my cheek.

"But I want to keep _you_ safe...and if being back here—with _them__—_hurts you, then I don't want you to do it."

"It might hurt me right now, love...but it also hurts me when you're in danger. More than that, though, I need to resolve this..._thing..._between my family and me. I've been letting it fester for so long. Maybe it's time to resolve it all, in whatever form that takes."

"You're sure?" I scratched gently at his scalp, hoping it was a comforting gesture. Lord knew it was for me, because I felt better with just the simple act of touching him, never mind that I was already in his lap.

"Positive," he assured, drawing me closer as he slouched back into the sofa. "Though I can't quite express how it makes me feel that you're concerned enough to ask."

"You can just tell me you love me." It was all I ever needed.

He smiled, and it was just a bit evil. Part mischief, part scheme, and all desire.

"I can do better than that, love," he said lowly, turning so he could press me into the soft cushions of the couch. "I'll show you."

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* * *

_I just want to thank KristenLynn for her excellent beta talents, because she sure whipped this chapter into shape. I think it's much better for all her help. Yoga_Gal and FangMom preread and leave me awesome little comments that make me laugh and smile. AmeryMarie keeps me from making colossal mistakes, and I can't thank her enough._

_So, what did you think of Carlisle's revelation? Some of you had some suspicions about that way back when, even though I tried my best to hint at it without really hinting at it...and that sentence made a lot more sense in my head, haha. I hope you know what I mean. I didn't want to give it away too easily._

_I know I said a while back that this fic would run around 26 chapters...yeah, that's not gonna happen. It seems like the characters don't really like to stick to the outline, and when I try to make them, they clam up. Stubborn bastards... At this point, I'm thinking there will be five more chapters after this one, plus or minus. These two have just a bit more story to tell. _

_As always, thank you so much for reading, and if you feel like leaving a review, know that I read them all (more than once) even if I don't reply all the time. I know I suck at that.  
_

_Next up, some time with the Cullens. Edward is already complaining about it. See you in two weeks or less!_


	27. Polymerization

****So I kind of feel like a kid kicking her toe in the dust right now...is anyone still out there? I could probably write a book of excuses in this AN, since it's been so freaking long since the last chapter. I'll spare you and just say that writer's block sucks. Most of this chapter's been written for a really long time, but it was just stitching those chunks together that stumped me. Anyway, now you've got an extra long chapter to make up for the wait. Enjoy!

KristenLynn betas, cheerleads, and tells me when I'm being too wordy. I can't thank her enough.

AmeryMarie, tragicallyepic, and Yoga_Gal preread and make me smile.

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****_In the last chapter:_

_Bella and Edward returned to Washington and settled into a cottage a couple miles away from the Cullens' main home. Carlisle admitted to Bella that she is the reason they betrayed Edward, which was quite upsetting to her. Of course, Edward did his best to reassure her that it didn't matter. Though not all is forgotten or forgiven, they're going to try and coexist, especially since they need the extra protection the Cullens can provide._

* * *

**-Chapter 27: Polymerization-**

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.

.

The next afternoon, Edward and I stood at the edge of the woods bordering the back of the Cullens' home watching the warm glow of the windows in the watery light. It was the first cold snap of fall, and though I marveled at how little it affected me, there was a very noticeable crispness in the damp air that suggested chilly weather. It looked like the predicted heavy rain was coming earlier rather than later.

It was going to make our procrastinating a little more difficult. We wouldn't be freezing like a human would, but being rained on really wasn't pleasant unless one was on a private tropical island...

"Alice is back." Edward's voice broke through the foggy silence.

I could hear her high-pitched voice as she chatted with Jasper, even 100 yards from the house. "I think we should change our minds for the fun of it. Let's make some random decisions just to screw with her."

"And then we can sneak up on them using your gift." He grinned wryly as he made the off-handed comment and I knew he was joking, but I knew genius when I heard it.

"Edward, that's an awesome idea!" I said, fighting back the urge to steeple my fingers like Montgomery Burns. "I can sneak into the house and start touching things to make them disappear!" Oh, this was going to be quite entertaining. And it would show Carlisle exactly what I could do in the process.

"Are you sure you can make objects invisible, Bella?" He frowned, thinking. "I can't believe I didn't think to have you try that," he muttered almost to himself.

"Well, there's no time like the present, right?" I reached out to hook my fingers into his belt-loops and walked him backwards, gently pushing him against the nearest tree trunk.

He went willingly, a half-smile lending him a playful air, his eyes bright and almost relaxed. His hair flopped onto his forehead as it caught the breeze, casting a shadow over his brow. It made him look so young, more like his human age of seventeen; he was all cocky charm and dark, insolent glances. But the gleam in his gaze was not like that of a boy. When he wrapped an arm low around my back and pulled me toward him, I went slowly. He widened his stance to steady the both of us as I leaned against him, fitting perfectly into the space between his legs.

"I'm not ready yet," he told me, squeezing my hips lightly.

"I thought we decided to get this over with," I teased, stretching up to press a kiss to his chin.

"I changed my mind. We're immortal. Carlisle can afford to wait another year or ten."

"Edward..."

"I know, I know. I'm just not looking forward to this," he admitted.

He slid one hand up to cup my cheek and tilted my lips up to his. His kiss was soft, gentle, and inspired some naughty thoughts that I was sure he wouldn't mind being privy to. But he was the one that needed convincing, and letting him know I was currently picturing him naked wasn't the best way to ensure that he didn't chicken out of this conversation.

"How can you not be looking forward to messing with them?" I asked, pulling back slightly. I decided to play dumb and ignore the fact that he was referring to simply interacting with his family at all. The fact was that we had to—but I could certainly make it more fun for him (and for me) by fooling around with their sanity a little.

He raised a brow, lips quirking.

"Come on, you know it will be fun..."

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed and nodded. "Okay, how are we going to do this?"

I grinned widely. "You just hold my hand and be quiet; I'll take care of the rest."

"Wait. Shouldn't we test out this theory first? We should probably make sure you can actually make _things_ disappear, not just people." He was stalling, but he had a point.

"So, what do you want me to vanish?"

He snorted. "_Vanish?_"

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean. When things disappear, they vanish, right?"

His smirk let me know he was just messing with me, and enjoying it. Good. My plan was already working.

"Okay, so...why don't I try that boulder over there?"

Shaking his head, he muttered, "So much for starting small."

"Hush. Why would the size make a difference? I can make _your_ pretty ass invisible...why not a twelve-ton boulder?"

A bewildered laugh rumbled from his chest. "Why not, indeed?"

Grinning at his antiquated speech, I untangled myself from his arms and zipped across the short distance to the rock. Lifting my hand, I let my fingers hover a few millimeters from the moist, gritty surface, pausing to center myself. I closed my eyes and reached for my gift, then set my fingertips to the boulder. The sensation was strange, so different than when I shielded Edward. I was beginning to recognize how it felt when I was shielding; it was like I was projecting myself outward, surrounding whatever I decided to target. I metaphorically wrapped my big flasher trench coat around it. With the huge rock, it was easier—there was no _life_ there other than the lichens and moss that dotted the surface, no motion for which I'd need to compensate.

"Amazing," Edward breathed, snapping me out of the little trance I was in. "The things you can do..."

The awe in his voice made me nervous, and I felt it was undeserved. My gift amounted to little more than a parlor trick when I wasn't using it to hide from other vampires. A coward's talent, that's what I had.

And Edward was amazed?

I shook my head, frowning. "I make things disappear, big deal," I griped, moving away from the boulder and walking back to where he stood.

"You'll never see yourself clearly, will you?" he asked with a gentle smile, taking my hand. He drew me closer. "It's okay...I have an eternity to show you what a jewel you are."

I just looked at him, never realizing my mouth was hanging open until he reached up to nudge my jaw shut with the tip of his finger. Then his arms were right back around me as he looked down into my face, amusement making his eyes gleam.

"Come on, love...let's get this over with."

Now _he_ was the one encouraging us to get on with it? How the hell did that happen?

-x-

Holding tightly to Edward's hand, I carefully led us down the staircase of the main house. I knew the others would likely hear our steps and smell our scents, but they weren't expecting us to be invisible. Plus, making them think they were hearing things would be part of the fun.

We knew that they were gathered in the living room, thanks to a little reconnaissance we completed before entering through the sun room on the third floor. It had been an easy leap from a sturdy tree branch, right through the open floor-to-ceiling window. I'd even managed to land with complete grace, pivoting to give Edward a little bow as he grinned at me from his perch in the tree. His entrance was just as silent and perfect; I couldn't help but admire the lithe lines of his body as he landed effortlessly, dropping into a crouch to mute any sound of his feet hitting the floor.

The house was unfamiliar to the both of us, and we couldn't avoid a few creaky boards as we descended the stairs. None of the Cullens came to investigate, though we did hear Emmett comment, "Aww, the newlyweds are back."

Edward and I locked eyes as we paused at the second floor landing. _Newlyweds..._ I had a flash of myself dressed in flowing white, walking slowly toward a tuxedo-clad Edward, who waited for me at the end of the aisle with a radiant smile curving his beautiful lips.

I wanted it...God, how I wanted it.

And from the way Edward watched me, his head tilted toward mine, those molten amber eyes warmly caressing my face, I thought that he might want it, too.

True, it was a human custom—one meant to tie together finite lives—but I wanted to tie myself to him in every way possible, human or otherwise. A simple piece of paper couldn't begin to define what was between us, but the sentimental aspect of the ceremony was something I could certainly appreciate. I wanted to pledge myself to him and hear his promises in return.

Edward squeezed my hand, smiling down at me, and I couldn't help but return it. The moment was sappy, but I couldn't have been happier as we made our way to the first floor.

When we reached the living room, the others gave no sign that they knew of our presence. Just to mess with them, I decided to start small. We crept to the fireplace, where an attractive antique vase graced the corner of the mantle. Esme and Carlisle sat on the loveseat directly opposite, and I decided to test their observational skills first. I set my finger to the smooth, glazed glass and waited.

Nothing happened. They all continued chatting amongst themselves, talking nonsense to fill the time until we "arrived." Their main focus was what could come of my talent. I couldn't help the smirk that tugged at the corner of my mouth. They were all about to get a taste of it, first-hand.

Still clutching tightly to Edward's hand, I gave up on the vase and moved to stand behind the armchair where Emmett was currently sprawled. I waited until the room fell silent, and then I struck, touching a fingertip to the soft, corded fabric of his chair. Shooting a grin at Edward, who returned an answering one of his own, I waited.

"What the...?" Jasper muttered, doing a double take as he glanced in Emmett's direction.

"Holy shit!" Rose breathed, jumping up from her perch on Emmett's lap. She stumbled back a few steps in an uncharacteristically clumsy move. "How are you not flat on your ass right now, Emmett?"

Emmett looked down at his lap, noticing that his chair had disappeared. "What the fuck? Where'd the chair go?"

"My BarcaLounger!" Esme shouted, leaping away from Carlisle, who stayed where he was, a dumbfounded expression dominating his features.

I snorted at that, the name reminding me of a favorite sitcom from my human years. _Jesus, the things my immortal brain held on to..._

Edward almost lost it, covering his mouth with his free hand, but a single laugh escaped. I had trouble containing myself at that.

Fuck me, but he was even hot when he was being dorky.

"What the hell was that noise?"Alice snapped, eyes searching the room.

Jokingly, I shrugged, wiggling my eyebrows at Edward as I broke contact with the chair.

All the Cullens looked like cartoons as they shook their heads, blinking in shock.

"Are we hallucinating?" Esme asked softly, her hand flying to her mouth. "It's back!"

Seriously, the woman couldn't look more like a fifties housewife if she wore an apron, pumps, and a string of pearls.

Just to antagonize everyone else even more, I touched the chair again. Emmett was still frozen in shock, his ass apparently glued to the recliner.

"It's gone again," he said, a blank look on his face. "Am I floating?" He deliberately poked his fingertips into the cushion, eyebrows flying high when he felt the give of the fabric beneath them. "This is so fucking weird...I can _feel_ the chair...but I can't _see _it!"

I glanced at Edward, flashing him a grin. He answered with a smirk and rolled his eyes, as if to say, "No shit, Sherlock."

Okay, so maybe that was more like something I would say, but it was funny to picture it coming out of Edward's sometimes Victorian mouth. I squeezed his hand, biting my lip to keep from laughing, and he shook his head at me, a warning to keep it together. We were just getting started, and I could tell he wanted to mess with them more before we revealed ourselves. Emmett broke the spell by speaking again.

"This is some fucking freaky Criss Angel shit, man!"

"That dude _is_ a fucking freak," Rose snickered. "That hair...and have you ever seen a man wear so many diamonds, aside from Liberace?"

"Emmett! Rose!" Esme snapped, scowling in his direction. "Language, please."

Emmett rolled his eyes at her. "I don't see why I can't drop a few F-bombs. My chair is missing, but I'm still sitting in it! Wait a minute, why am _I _not missing?" He slapped his palm to his forehead. "This makes my brain hurt."

Rose just shrugged unapologetically and kept on snickering at Emmett, patting him on the head gently. "Don't overtax yourself, babe."

Esme sighed and shook her head, giving up on trying to rein in their foul mouths. She got up and walked over to the chair, standing less than a foot from where I was. Touching a fingertip to where the arm of the chair should have been, she gasped. "Wow, it really is still here..."

I dropped my hand from the chair and froze—I stopped breathing, blinking, everything. It was a wonder she hadn't noticed our scents yet, but I assumed it was due to surprise. Plus, Edward and I had been all over this place yesterday, so maybe our scents had saturated the house. Either way, I had a feeling all it would take was one movement, one current of air, to make them aware of our presence.

Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper simply sat back as the chair reappeared, observing. Carlisle's mouth curved in a slight smile as he crooked a finger at Esme, beckoning her back to his side.

"But Carlisle, aren't you the least bit concerned about what's going on here?" she muttered as she went, plopping gracelessly onto the loveseat and crossing her arms in frustration.

He smiled like it was no big deal. "Not especially."

Esme glared at him, brows dipping down into a scowl. She huffed a breath and turned back to the chair.

Alice's expression alternated between a scowl and a blank, glazed look. I wondered if she was trying to use her talent to decipher what was going on. _Huh...wonder how that's turning out for you, Queen Know-It-All? Is it working yet?_

Edward tapped my temple, drawing my attention away from the bewildered vampires. "Carlisle knows," he mouthed.

Squeezing his hand hard, I reached for that part of my mind that shielded my thoughts and let Edward in. I didn't do it often, since it was so draining, but it was really the only effective way for us to communicate without tipping the others off that we were there. _You read it in his thoughts?_

He nodded.

_I guess it's time to show ourselves, huh?_ I pursed my lips, pouting. This had been pretty damn entertaining. I loosened my grip on his hand, but he stopped me.

Edward shook his head minutely and held up a finger, asking for a moment. I smiled up at him, content to give him whatever he wanted. Seconds ticked by into minutes as he searched my face, but I had no idea what he was looking for. I only knew I'd give it to him without hesitation. One hand came up to hold my face, his long fingers caressing the bend of my jaw. His eyes darkened, glinting with a hint of mischief as he lowered his head. Warm lips pressed against mine and my eyelids fluttered closed.

_Oh...there's nothing like this..._

Edward sighed, deepening the kiss, dipping his tongue inside, giving me the taste of him I craved. I wound an arm around his neck, pulling myself up against his chest. His fingers tightened on mine as his other hand slid into my hair, tugging and knotting as he pressed closer. Everything and everyone else dropped away.

_Love you..._

With one last, slow kiss, Edward pulled back, a blissful smile on his lips. They were shiny with moisture, and it made me want to yank him right back to my mouth.

"Thank you," he whispered, finally cluing the others in to our presence in the room.

"Who the fuck is that?" Jasper muttered, squirming in his seat. "And where's all that lust coming from?"

_Oops. That would be Edward and me..._

Reluctantly, I let go of my gift, severing Edward's connection to my mind as we reappeared. I imagined it looked like we'd just appeared out of thin air to the other vampires, and they sat there for a moment, looking stunned. Carlisle was the first to speak.

"Well done, Bella. I suppose that was your trick with the chair?"

"Behold the vampire parlor tricks," I said with a shrug.

He smiled. "Oh, it's more than just a parlor trick, Bella. Edward has told me about your ability to make yourself disappear. I hope you won't mind a few more demonstrations. There's so much to learn. I believe yours is a truly extraordinary gift."

Edward frowned. "Give her some time to rest before you start the experiments, Carlisle."

Esme's eyes flicked from one man to the other in worry before she came over to greet Edward and me. "Edward, Bella...it's so nice to have you back in Washington," she said softly, enveloping me in her arms.

A soft cloud of her fresh, floral scent perfumed the air, the hint of it sparking a foggy memory of my mother's perfume. A wisp of sadness curled in my stomach, but it wasn't overwhelming. It was watered-down, muted by the layers that separated my vampire self from my human memories. Edward had been right—as time went by, the loss was becoming easier to bear.

I returned Esme's hug with real affection, realizing that while I couldn't have my mother and father, I did have these people...and I likely would for a long time to come, if Edward decided we'd stay with them.

"Thank you for the cottage, Esme."

She smiled brightly. "You're welcome. I knew it would be perfect for you two." Releasing me, she turned to Edward and hugged him with no reserve.

I didn't miss the way he stiffened at first, but after a moment he relaxed, his arms coming around her waist. His eyes closed as he bent his head, resting his cheek on the crown of her head. When he opened them, those golden irises went straight to me, and while I could see his affection for the other woman, I could also see his fear. Gently, I placed a hand on his arm and opened myself once more.

_It's okay to let her care for you, Edward. And it's okay for you to care about her. Whatever you feel, don't fight it. _Before I broke the connection, I swamped him with all the love I could muster, and I was rewarded with a soft, loving glance as he and Esme parted. It held more than just thanks—it held hope. And when he wrapped an arm around me and offered both his adoptive parents an awkward, tentative smile, I felt it.

Were we finally home, on the way to being happy?

I didn't know, but I'd do anything I could to make sure of it.

-x-

It was a good thing vampires couldn't get headaches, because if I were human, I'd certainly have one. If Carlisle asked me to use my talent one more time, I'd break off one of his fingers.

Esme might enjoy helping him reattach it.

Okay, so it was possible I was slightly crabby after two weeks of the Vampire Gifted Program. _It's a really hard class, y'all._

He was most interested in pushing me to expand my gift to cover more than one person. It wasn't easy, but I was making a little progress. I had to be in direct contact with the person in question for them to be affected. Shielding two people was hit or miss most of the time, and it left me exhausted. If the person I shielded was touched, it was doubly hard for me to maintain the illusion. Usually, the whole thing would fail and I'd have to start over.

Carlisle theorized that my shield must work like some sort of sensory interference. In layman's terms, I jammed everyone's radar. The best I could assume was that I blurred the lines of vision, making myself—or those I shielded—blend into the surrounding environment. Apparently, I really _was_ Chameleon Bella.

Objects were different. If someone touched an object I was shielding, it stayed invisible. We assumed that because inanimate objects had no sensory perception, they stayed hidden, since they projected no sentient information to their surroundings. They had no psychic signature to overcome my shield.

I still didn't know what good that would do in a confrontation. So I could hide and make things disappear; big deal. I supposed I could smuggle in a flame thrower if I had significant enough warning, but if we were surprised, we were SOL. If that happened, I was grabbing Edward and making us go bye-bye. The rest of the Cullens could fend for themselves.

Unfortunately, my talents presented a problem—my shield made it very difficult for Alice to see any futures in which I was directly involved. We were essentially blind as long as I was in the picture, and it wasn't something the family was used to.

We also learned that Jasper couldn't influence my emotions, which was just fine with me. My emotions were intricately entwined with my thought process, and I didn't want an outsider messing with my brain.

Needless to say, the pair—especially Alice—wasn't happy with me, because I couldn't figure out how to control my brain's "force field" thing. To be honest, I wasn't working very hard on that aspect of my gift. I liked being immune to their powers. It was only fair, since I wasn't very happy with the family as a whole. Even vampires couldn't escape karma—and it served them right for what they'd done to Edward. Then again, it would have been nice to have Alice's gift, to know what was coming. Instead, I was stuck working my ass off playing brain games with Carlisle, and getting my ass kicked by the rest of the Cullens.

It was a damn good thing that Edward was the perfect nursemaid. He tended to be pretty touchy-feely after I came back from a session, and knowing I could go back to the cottage with him when it was all over was a great motivator. When we were together in the evenings after a long bout of Cranial Olympics, the happiness level in our little living room was almost sickening.

"Bella, do you think you can completely turn off your gift?"

I jumped a little at being caught swimming in my own thoughts. Carlisle was looking at me with a determined, inquisitive expression, and I knew what that look meant—this session was going to have me yanking my hair out before it was over. Why had I decided that I'd be able to handle this meeting with Carlisle by myself?

That's right—because I could barely concentrate with Edward's sexy self watching me. Damn it.

"I'm not sure," I answered, trying not to clue him in to the depths of my frustration.

"You've never tried to lift your shield?"

I thought for a moment. "Well, I've been able to let Edward in a few times. Does that count?"

His eyebrows rose. "That's very good!" He placed a finger over his lips and paced to the other side of the room, his gaze fixed on the floor in front of him.

I wasn't sure how it was good for anyone else but Edward, because he was the only person I'd even consider letting into my thoughts. "What does that have to do with lowering my shield? And would you stop stalking around the room? You're making me nervous," I added, casting him a side-eyed glance.

"Well, in theory, if you're able to block one aspect of your gift, you should be able to block _everything_." Pacing back again, he lowered himself into his ergonomic office chair, steepling his fingers in front of his face as he rested his elbows on the large, shiny surface of his antique oak desk.

"Okay..."

"What does it feel like?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"What does it feel like in your mind? When you let Edward read your thoughts, how do you let him in?"

"Oh!" I leaned forward, resting my chin on my hand as I recalled the feeling of having my mate share the same headspace. Though at first it had been painful, the more I worked on it, the more comfortable I felt with him in my head. "The first time, it was excruciating. I felt like I was ripping my skin off, piece by piece. I had to fight for every layer I exposed to him. But now, it's more like lifting a heavy weight—it gets easier the more I do it."

"Do you think it might work the same way with other gifts?" he questioned, leaning back in his chair.

"It might." I wasn't sure I wanted to let anyone but Edward that close to me. When I let Edward in, it was an intimate, special thing. It was something I chose to share with him—and only him.

Carlisle noticed my reticence. "What's wrong?"

"I just...that's private, you know?"

"I understand, Bella. But could you try?"

"I suppose I could...but I'd want Edward to be there." His presence afforded me more security than anything else. If we weren't together, I wasn't comfortable. Being apart from him was almost tiring.

"Of course. I imagine Edward wouldn't have it any other way," Carlisle conceded with a slight smile. "He doesn't like to have you out of his sight, you know."

I looked down at my lap, fighting the stupid, girly sigh that wanted out. I knew it. Things were the same for me. Even now I missed him, and he was mere feet away, in the music room.

"You're perfect for him. "You, my dear, are everything I could have wanted for my son."

My eyes shot up to his. So many words gathered on the back of my tongue, from pleased thanks to bitter, angry accusations, but I kept them to myself. "I'm glad you think so," was what I finally settled on. I'd be with him regardless, no matter what his family thought. I was Edward's, plain and simple, and he was mine. I wasn't with him to please his estranged family—I was with him because Edward and I fit together like Legos. And we were really fucking hard to pry apart. We'd also really fucking hurt you if you stepped on us.

"I know how you feel about us," he added, sadness creasing his features. "But we truly had his best interests at heart."

I was standing before I realized it, leaning threateningly over the large expanse of the walnut desk that separated us. It was the first time I'd allowed my emotions to rule me like that since we'd come to Forks barely a month ago.

"Will you stop saying that? Stop giving him excuses and just say you're sorry! Believe me, he _knows_ what you did to him, and all the reasons you've given for doing it. He doesn't need any reminders." I gentled my tone, took a moment to force my body to relax, and then I sank back into the seat. Nothing would bring Edward barging in here faster than a bunch of yelling (if he wasn't already on his way). "Just...just stop doing that, okay?" I finished. "Don't try to mitigate what you did with excuses. He needs you to own it."

Carlisle stood and started pacing in front of the unlit fireplace. "Do you think I don't?"

I stayed silent.

"Do you think I don't regret that decision every single second? I betrayed my son!" He let out a shuddering breath. "He trusted me, and how did I repay him? By crushing it. Crushing him." His head snapped up and he pinned me with a determined gaze. "If I have to give him up because of what I've done, then so be it. With you, Bella, he is truly happy."

The weight of his words squeezed my chest until it almost hurt. It was like talking to a brick wall. There were many things I'd learned since becoming a vampire. That we were all stubborn as fuck was one of them. Once we got something in our heads, good luck changing our minds.

It was extremely frustrating.

"You all took the easy way out," I snapped, unable to keep my blunt thoughts to myself. "But _I _never will. I love him enough to trust him. That's something you didn't do."

Carlisle sighed, nearly collapsing back into his chair. "Perhaps you're right. But I do love him. He's my son." He said nothing else, just simply stared off at a point somewhere beyond my right shoulder.

"I think I'm done for the day," I said, rising from my seat. "I'll see you tomorrow." I didn't wait for his reply. Deciding not to wait for Edward to break down and come get me, I met him in front of Carlisle's office.

His eyes were dark and contemplative, and I knew he'd been listening. I waited for him to ask, but he simply took my hand and led me to the cottage. He never said a word while he stripped me of everything but my shirt and undressed himself down to a pair of black boxer briefs that made me clench my thighs together like some silly character in a smutty romance novel.

It wasn't until he tucked both of us underneath the covers that I realized he wasn't going to speak—or anything else. He just held me tight, his body spooned around mine, nose buried in my neck. His breathing was slow and regular, reminiscent of the rhythm of human sleep.

This was about comfort, just lying there in that bed, still as only vampires could be. I could catalog every detail about the way his body felt against mine; I appreciated every single moment of bliss as we laid there drinking each other in. It was all so easy. So right.

_I will fight hard for this. So hard._

Because I couldn't bear to lose him.

-x-

In the six weeks since we had arrived in Forks, Edward and I had developed our own routine in the little cottage. We spent all of our time together when I wasn't working with Carlisle learning to control my gift. He constantly put me through my paces, coaching me on using my talent at will. Turning it on and off was almost like breathing to me now; holding on to my shield had become almost like second nature. Carlisle seemed pleased with my progress, but I could tell he was still concerned I wasn't proficient enough for his liking.

Or Edward's. On that, they agreed. In Edward's opinion, I could be wrapped in titanium, surrounded by electrified wire and encapsulated in a ring of fire, but I still wouldn't be safe enough. Carlisle wasn't quite so bad and not nearly as overprotective, but apparently perfectionism was a pretty common trait in vampires, and he wouldn't cut me any slack. Living forever made people really anal, apparently.

Though I diligently worked to gain complete control of my talent, I still wasn't sure I could help that much other than hiding myself and Edward if the Volturi came calling. Without maintaining physical contact, I couldn't hide everyone...and I didn't exactly want to stay within arm's reach of all the Cullens, all the time.

No thanks. The only person I wanted attached to my hip was Edward.

Edward didn't take long to make good on his promise and, with Jasper's help, was teaching me to kick some vampire ass. Alice, Emmett and Rose often joined in, and what had started off as lessons in self-defense morphed into more advanced instruction in the art of vampire fighting. Sparring became a daily occurrence, and I was pitted against every partner available, working my way up to defending myself against more than one opponent. That part wasn't going so well, but Edward assured me that it was difficult for even the oldest of vampires. Edward and Alice sparred against each other quite often, and I suspected that he enjoyed it more than he let on. I knew he liked kicking her ass repeatedly. He liked it even better when he and I worked together against her—my gift made it extremely hard for her to anticipate our moves.

To my surprise, I was an extremely quick study when it came to fighting. All I had to do was see something once and I could replicate it—which didn't stop the others from making me repeat the exercises over and over and over... Even so, I felt sort of like Keanu Reeves in _The Matrix._

_I know...Kung Fu...?_

_Excellent!_

Oops...right actor, wrong movie.

"You're not concentrating, Bella!" Edward's sharp voice broke through my thoughts, cutting through like a laser. As soon as the words left his mouth, his ankle swept beneath mine, knocking me on my ass.

My breath whooshed out of my lungs with a loud grunt. I blinked up at the sky, and then Edward appeared above me. His hair was a messy reddish-brown halo about his face, ruffled from the wind and our mock-fighting. He was trying to look stern, but he broke after a few seconds, unable to conceal that dazzling half-smile. I couldn't help but grin up at him, my stomach flip-flopping in response.

_Why am I on the ground again?_

Jesus. I apparently had the brains kicked out of me today.

Holding out a hand, he said, "You can't lose focus like that, love. I know you're capable of more."

I pouted as I let him help me to my feet. "We've been at this all day. I need a break." I wasn't tired—it wasn't physically possible—but I was definitely weary of all the battle tactics and strategy. I just wanted to be with Edward, to pretend we didn't have a giant cloud made of pretentious, micro-managing vampires looming over our heads. I wanted things to be like they were back on Isle Esme.

"The Volturi won't be so accommodating," he warned. He raked a hand through his hair and looked up at the sky, tipping his head back before sighing heavily and returning his gaze to me. Though he tried to be calm, frustration rolled off him in waves, and underlying it all was a deep-seated fear. He was afraid that what we were doing wouldn't be enough to keep me safe.

"I know that, Edward. I know," I said, keeping my voice soft. "I made you a promise, and I intend to keep it. You asked me to keep myself safe, and I will. I work with Carlisle every day, learning to control my gift. You and Jasper have taught me just about every martial art known to man—or vampire. Alice is watching every decision they make, even though she's limited by my involvement. But I don't know what else I can do..."

"We can keep working, make sure we've exhausted every option—"

"And what if they never come?"

He gave me a dubious look, and I knew his pessimist side was winning again.

"Okay, so what if they show up tomorrow?"

If he wasn't already pale, he would have gone positively ashen then. He sucked in a short breath, his expression stricken. "They can't. We're not ready," he uttered through clenched teeth.

"We'll never be truly ready, Edward. Even if they don't show up for a hundred years, will you ever be ready?"

He still hadn't let go of my fingers, and he used them to draw me closer, until he could wrap his arms around me. "No," he admitted, burying his face in my shoulder.

I returned his embrace, holding him tightly. "So will we spend eternity looking over our shoulders? Preparing for something that might never happen? Why can't we enjoy each other just a little?"

"I enjoy every moment I'm with you, Bella. And if I'm helping you learn to defend yourself...believe me, it's worth it. I won't—no, I _can't_—leave you unprotected."

He lifted his head, gaze locking onto mine. The hint of desperation in his eyes made me want to calm him, soothe his worry any way I could.

"I feel the same...but I'm not unprotected, Edward. Don't you see? You're teaching me to look after myself, and I'm learning," I stressed. "I have a very good instructor. And we can't forget the rest of the Addams Family back there." I grinned. "I have an entourage now."

He smiled slightly, and I felt a spark of warmth at the pride in his gaze, which was dark and teasing. "You're lucky to have such a talented, brilliant, _very_ _patient_ instructor."

"Come on—trust me, okay? I know I'm not invincible, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes I made before."

He let out an exasperated breath. "I do trust you. You're the only one I really _do_ trust. But I will never trust the Volturi with someone as important to me as you."

The way his voice softened at the end almost undid me. _Oh, Edward. _

"Then you have to know I won't endanger myself. I'll do everything I can to make myself safe. For you. For us."

He seemed to relax a bit at my vow, his smile softening, widening, as he reached up to pick a blade of grass from my hair. After a long pause, he spoke. "I'm sorry I knocked you down."

It wasn't complete agreement, but I had a feeling it was the best I'd get for now. And I'd take it.

"Don't worry, I'll get you back when you least expect it. Besides, you're right—I wasn't paying attention earlier. You were right to take me down."

Edward gasped dramatically. "Did you just say I was right?" He brought a hand up to my forehead and pretended to check for a fever.

I giggled as I tried to dodge him, but he just tightened his arm around my waist and kept me from moving. "Stop it. I can't _get_ a fever anymore!"

He frowned as he slid his fingers from my forehead to tangle in the hair at my temple. "Are you positive? I think I might need to make sure..." He made it halfway through the sentence before his lips curved into a smirk. Banding one arm low around my hips, he lifted me off my feet and stalked through the calf-high grass, heading for the edge of the clearing. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on.

It seemed he was taking a page from the book of Bella—finding the easiest avenue of distraction and running with it.

"What are you doing?"

He tugged my hips against his as he kept walking, letting me feel the growing bulge in his pants. "I told you, I'm going to check you for a fever," he rumbled, his voice low and suggestive.

A burst of laughter escaped. "How are you going to do that? With your _meat thermometer?_"

We actually stopped moving for a second, and he almost dropped me. He tried, but he couldn't hide the twitch of his lips. "That's horrible, even for you, Bella."

"Come on, I know that's what you were thinking!"

"That's my line." One eyebrow arched up in amusement.

I just grinned up at him knowingly.

The tips of his fingers dug into my ass, and I squirmed against his grip. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the way my body responded to the close contact. My nipples peaked to near-painful points, and heat sparked low in my belly. Tangling a leg with his, I managed to trip him, which sent us tumbling to the ground. Edward twisted so that he landed on bottom, leaving me perched astride his hips. I smiled down at him triumphantly, enjoying the surprise that flitted across his features.

"Hmm," he breathed, reaching up to hold my face in his hands. Slowly, he drew me down until our lips were just a hairsbreadth from touching. "Perhaps you _can_ read my thoughts..." Closing the distance, he captured my mouth.

I sank against the firm wall of his chest, closing my eyes and melting into the lazy press and slide of his lips, the soft sweep of his tongue. My hands found their way into his hair, tugging hard. He grunted a little and I gentled my grip, rubbing soothing fingers over his scalp. Warmth swelled from somewhere deep in my belly, sparked wherever his body pressed up against mine. It wasn't enough. I'd never get close enough; the tightest embrace wouldn't satisfy me.

His fingers burned a trail down my neck, gently drifting along the midline of my body, until his fingertips found the narrow strip of skin exposed between my shirt and jeans. He tucked them just underneath the denim—teasing, testing. I barely had time to register the skin-to-skin contact before he had the button and zipper undone, his hand covering me through the lace of my underwear.

I _loved_ it when our sparring sessions ended like this. It didn't happen often enough.

"Touch me, please," I whimpered, looking down into the liquid amber of his eyes.

"I think you _are_ reading my mind." He feathered light, fleeting touches across the heated, damp fabric between my legs. A slow smile stretched across his face. "God, I just want you all the time."

I grinned back. "I want you _now." You could have totally quit beating me up and started _sexing_ me up lot sooner than you did!_

Amused pride lit up his eyes. "You can take it, love."

_Shit, he heard that._

The minute I realized my shield was down, it snapped back into place. Edward's smile turned rueful, but I distracted him quickly. I didn't want him to feel rejected, but it wasn't like I'd done it on purpose. I had a good grasp on my gift, but it was still very involuntary when we were this close. He shorted out my brain or something.

I covered his mouth with my hand. "I know."

"I love you," he mumbled against my palm.

Sliding my hand down to rest on his chest, I deliberately let him in one last time to answer, _I know_.

He visibly relaxed. Gently, he shifted my underwear to the side, sliding his fingers over my bare skin. There was no more talking. I arched against his hand, the teasing graze of his fingertips only making me crazy with need. His eyes darkened, leaving only a thin, burnt-ochre ring around his pupils. I let my gaze wander over his face, and noticed the way his lips parted as I gasped in response to his touch. I kept my eyes fixed on his face, catching a glimpse of his tongue as he ran it across the inside of his bottom lip. My eyelids fluttered closed as he cupped his hand over my sex, grinding his palm in a slow, torturous circle. I gripped his hair, loving how it was the perfect length for grabbing—long enough to sink my fingers into.

When he removed his hand from my jeans, I let out a little growl of disappointment and tugged sharply on his hair. He grinned wickedly, and suddenly the world spun in a swirl of cool wind and damp mist, leaving me disoriented. When I opened my eyes, Edward had me pressed against the soft leaf litter. I sucked in a quick breath and the scent of crushed grass and dewy evergreen needles mingled with the crisp, clean scent of his skin. He felt so good, and when he hovered over me, I released his hair, smoothing my hands over the soft, bronzed strands that shone in the watery light. My fingers kept going, trailing along the broad, strong expanse of his shoulders. Eager to feel more, I traced his ribs and lower, over the lean, subtle ridges of his abdominals.

I shivered beneath him, shaking with a surging wave of awareness as he gave me his weight. He slid one arm beneath my back, bracing his forearm against the ground. When Edward held me, I remembered what it was like to have a racing heart. It was a heavy, pounding rush that echoed in my chest, warming me in one swift beat.

With one long, sinuous stretch, he leaned down and covered my mouth with his. His hand slipped back into my jeans and underwear, where he pressed a finger inside me and flicked his thumb over the swollen peak of my sex. His touch was slow and gentle—too much so. I moaned against his lips and made fists in his shirt, trying to pull him closer. I was lit up like a freaking lava lamp. Forget candles, Christmas lights, or any other kind of glowing bulb. Those were steady. This was tumultuous, restless—like pieces and parts of me were tumbling over one another in an endless circuit.

He moved on top of me, his body undulating in a slow languid arch, pressing every bit of himself against me. His mouth and hand worked in rhythm, making me wild with need. I cupped my hand over the front of his jeans, imagining the warm, solid length of him in my hand. The temptation to rip away the denim so I could close my fingers around his hard, smooth flesh was driving me insane. I squeezed him, drawing a groan from deep inside his chest, and I had to bite my inner cheek to keep quiet.

_Oh, God, that sound..._

Without warning the heavy crunch of leafy footsteps crashed through the woods, and panic blossomed through my chest as fear overtook arousal, definitively squeezing the air out of our sex bubble. _Damn it._ Someone was coming, and they weren't being subtle.

"Is he fucking kidding me?" Edward muttered, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he pulled away, squeezing the curve of my waist.

"Go away, Emmett!" he shouted, not hiding his annoyance.

Relief washed over me, rinsing away the fear and leaving me aching with the dull throb of thwarted hormones. Why did he have to pick _now_ to interrupt? Letting Edward go was the last thing I wanted to do, but I doubted Emmett was leaving anytime soon. With a resigned sigh, I slipped my hand from the front of his jeans, balling my fingers into a fist.

"Aw, Jesus," he complained, "I think I liked it better when you guys fought all the time. At least then you weren't perpetually attached at the lips. What the fuck is growing on Isle Esme these days? Some kind of vampire aphrodisiac?" He muttered the last sentence to himself, but we still heard it.

I was beginning to think Emmett was protesting too much. This made the fifth time he'd come upon us in a less than respectable position. Pervert. But who was counting?

I banged my head against the ground and growled, "Fuck off, Emmett. Besides, you're too late. You'll just have to wait until later for me to kick your ass. Ninja Bella is done for the day." It was probably better than accusing him of trying to catch a glimpse of Edward and me doing it. For now. He could still have a valid excuse, but how many times did it have to happen before I started to smell horseshit?

Snorting, Emmett said, "You're lucky I didn't come here to wipe the floor with you, little sister. I don't feel like breaking you today." His voice sobered as he added, "I came because we got a message."

I sat up, gingerly moving to sit on the ground next to Edward as I tried discreetly fasten the button of my jeans. I didn't miss the way Edward winced as we righted our clothes, and the little hiss when he adjusted himself went straight to my already buzzing lady parts.

Emmett ignored both of us and clomped into the open field, his arm thrown over his eyes. "Can I look now?"

"Why are you here, Emmett?" Edward asked, sounding more than a little bit grouchy.

"Well, I'm not here to watch you two rabbits screw, that's for fucking sure."

Protesting. Too much.

Edward growled under his breath.

"I don't believe you were invited to watch," I snapped. "We _thought_ we were alone."

"The forest has eyes—which are now blind, by the way. You two uh..." He cleared his throat. "You two _decent_ yet?"

"Yes, Emmett," I sighed, looking over at Edward with a pitiful expression. "I miss the island."

"Tell me about it," he replied, slinging an arm around my shoulders. He pressed a kiss to my temple before looking to Emmett. "What's going on?"

I felt his entire body stiffen, just as his face turned to stone. "How long?"

Emmett sighed, holding out his hands in a gesture of helplessness. "Two weeks."

"What's happening?" My eyes darted from one man to the other. "Edward, tell me."

When Edward finally met my gaze, his eyes were dark and sad. "There's been a letter. Aro has summoned us. He wants to hear our version of the events on the island—from us."

Fear knotted into a block of ice in my chest and grew outward, the force of it threatening to drive me apart. I knew then that Edward was right.

I wasn't ready. At all.

Crap.

.

.

.

* * *

I should also mention that I don't own _The Matrix, Friends, _or any sketches from _Saturday Night Live. _

I'll do my absolute best to make sure you don't have to wait as long for the next chapter. Thanks for sticking with me. It means a lot that you'll put up with the long wait between chapters when there are other stories out there that update much more often. I wish I could do that for you, but you probably wouldn't want to read the story then, trust me!

So thank you for reading, and if you'd like to drop me a line and let me know what you thought, I'd love to hear your comments. Now, I'm gonna settle in and wait for Dexter to come on...

Oh, and in the meantime, I hope you're all having a great Holiday season so far! Hopefully I'll have another chapter for you before then!


	28. Electron Avalanche

_Well, I don't really know what to say after more than a year and a half of no posts. You'll probably want to re-read the posted chapters. I'm sorry. I suck. _

_I'm working on the last chapter of this story right now (a few chapters ahead of this one), so I figured it would be safe to post this. That said, HI everyone! I've missed you. Look for the next chapter next week (probably Friday)._

_Thanks to KristenLynn for beta services, handholding, and being a great soundboard. _

* * *

**CHAPTER 28: Electron Avalanche**

* * *

Two days before Edward and I were supposed to leave for Volterra, Alice ambushed me in the forest.

There was no one home to head her off for me — Rose and Emmett were off hunting somewhere in the Snoqualmie. Carlisle and Esme were in Seattle shopping for a new Mercedes or something equally extravagant. Edward was off doing something he wouldn't tell me about.

I was excited about that last part — it usually meant something awesome was in store for me.

Apparently, I had to pay a price for that awesomeness, and it was Alice. Great.

"I saw us as friends, you know. Before you were changed. It could still happen." There was a regretful cast to her voice, and I almost felt sorry for her. She seemed so... alone. But maybe she deserved to be.

"You think so, Alice?" I asked, letting her hear the doubt, plain and strident, in my voice. Refusing to look at her might have been childish, but I figured I was due for a little immature behavior.

"Yes," she answered simply, settling beside me.

"You're awfully sure of yourself." The anger I'd felt ever since I learned what Alice had orchestrated began to simmer just beneath the surface of my skin. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end; my muscles tensed with the need to spring at her.

But I did nothing. No matter how angry I was for what she'd done to my mate, I knew Edward wouldn't want me to fight with her. Not after what had happened the last time I tried to take on a much-older vampire. If anyone was going to kick Alice's ass, it needed to be Edward.

She turned her gaze to look out at the churning waves of slate-colored water. "Like I said, I've seen it. But I can't see anything now. You're blocking me," she accused.

And I'd continue to block her―even when I finally figured out how I was doing it.

"You also saw Edward killing me. Look how that worked out." I kept my eyes on her, wishing I could see inside her head. I just didn't get her. What made her so confident in her abilities, even when she was so wrong?

Would I ever have that kind of confidence in my own?

"He would have if I hadn't interfered." She faltered a little on the last word, like she was trying to convince herself.

"You don't know _anything_." I was seething inside. She might have known Edward far longer than I had, but for all the faith she had in her gift, she had no faith in _him_. She didn't know him as I did.

A ghost of a tight smile curved her mouth. "We'll never know now, will we? What's done is done, and I did what I had to do to save my family. To save my brother."

"You didn't save anyone! All you did was hurt those you claim to love," I snapped, leaping to my feet. I had to put some distance between us, or I'd end up smacking her. A large boulder sat near the slope of the cliff, and it was an easy leap for me. I settled at the edge, letting my legs hang over the side. Restless, I kicked my feet repetitively, hitting the rock in a steady rhythm. Flecks of stone chipped away, leaving heel-shaped depressions in the granite.

"Well, when the end justifies the means..." she let her words trail off.

_Nothing_ could justify what she'd done to Edward. Nothing. Yet, for all that I wanted to make her feel the very same betrayal she'd dealt to the one she called brother, I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she hadn't acted on her vision. My gut told me Edward and I would be together no matter what, but there was no way for me to know.

"Tell me, Alice, when you thought Edward would kill me, what exactly did you see?" Planting my hands next to my hips, I dug them into the cold rock, listening to the subtle cracks as the stone gave way beneath my fingers. For a minute, I pretended it was Alice's neck crumbling in my grip.

"You were covered in blood, lifeless. Edward had you...he was clutching you to his chest, his face buried in your neck. When he looked up at me, I could see the blood dripping from his lips... He hated me so much. I could see that. He knew what I would do..." Her eyes took on a faraway look, irises going dark. Then she gasped, her entire body stiffening. "Oh, God...oh, no!" She brought her hands up to cover her mouth, and they were trembling.

And I knew, then, in the same moment she did.

She'd been wrong.

Her vision had technically been correct, but the interpretation was completely off-base — because from what Edward had told me about the day he changed me, she was describing the event exactly as it had happened.

"You didn't see him killing me, you saw him _changing_ me!" I screamed, sending a few stray birds fluttering from the trees. I took a huge chunk out of the boulder as I pounded my fist against it, all to keep myself from leaping upon her and tearing her to shreds. "You ruined him. You ruined your family." My eyes burned, venom stinging in the place of the tears I couldn't cry. My chest hurt; squeezing my dead heart until I thought it would crack.

Visibly gathering her composure, Alice bit out, "I know I hurt him. I know things between us will never be the same." Her voice grew quiet, and the seconds stretched into minutes before she spoke again. "But I can live with that, knowing he has you. I took the chance...I gave him up so he could be happy."

"But it wasn't just you, Alice. You enlisted the help of everyone else in the family to betray him, all for a misinterpreted vision! You isolated Edward from everyone he cared about...how could you think it was okay?"

"Do you really know nothing about mating?" she asked, incredulous disbelief making her voice high-pitched and desperate. "Tell me, Bella―how did you feel when Heidi had you pinned? What was it like, knowing she would kill you right before Edward's eyes?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and suppressed a shudder. The emotional pain had been unimaginable, so much so that it dwarfed the actual physical sensation of being ripped to shreds. I still felt the echoes of my frozen heart shattering at the sight of Edward's devastation.

"I can see that you do," Alice observed. "Tell me, Bella...how much worse would it have been, had he killed you himself?"

Her words fell like heavy stones, each one chipping at the remains of my anger.

Edward had said it himself: he wouldn't survive it.

"He wouldn't have killed me," I whispered between clenched teeth, digging my fingertips into the rock, taking chunks with them. "And you know it now." When I opened my eyes, Alice was almost directly below me, looking up at my perch with a pleading glance.

"It was a very possible outcome. I couldn't take that chance, Bella. I hope that you'll understand someday."

"It's not me that needs to understand, don't you see that? You don't need to make your peace with me―it's Edward who was wronged."

"I was hoping you'd help me―"

"Are you kidding? I won't betray him like that! I would _never_ take your side over his. Edward comes first. He will _always_ come first!"

As I spoke, I dropped down from the boulder and stalked forward, getting in Alice's personal space until it seemed like I towered over her, though I was barely four inches taller. She backed away, toward the edge of the cliff, and I had to really work to keep from shoving her over. It wouldn't hurt her anyway — she'd just get wet.

Then again, I'd probably ruin some one-of-a-kind designer outfit, so I could take a little pleasure in that...

Just as I thought she'd back her way off the precipice, she finally held her ground, looking up at me with an amused smile. "And that, right there, is exactly why I did what I did. He has such a champion in you, Bella. Thank you for that," she finished in a whisper.

I blew out a breath, trying to diffuse some of the tension that threatened to shatter me. "I really don't understand you."

She smiled sadly. "That's okay. You don't have to." And as silently as she'd appeared, she vanished, leaving me staring after her.

With a sigh, I turned around and walked toward the cottage at a human pace. Solitude no longer held any appeal for me; Alice's visit had seen to that. Trying to understand her logic made my brain hurt and I had no desire to sit in the woods and ruminate on her craziness. With our trip to Italy in two days, I had enough to worry about.

As soon as I crossed the threshold of the cottage, Edward called out to me from the bedroom. He was back! I grinned, my mood immediately lifting at the sound of his voice. My human pace disappeared as I rushed to meet him, eager to wrap my arms around him. Even though he had no idea what had been said between Alice and me, I still felt like he needed a hug.

His hair was damp, the ends curling against his forehead, lending him a boyish look. He wore different clothes than when he'd left; though he was always handsome, tonight he looked especially delicious in black distressed jeans and a soft grey t-shirt. Add in the worn leather jacket that sat perfectly across his broad shoulders, and I was swallowing back the extra venom that pooled in my mouth at the sight of him.

"Where have you been?" I asked, not bothering to hide the way I was eye-fucking him six ways to Sunday.

He grinned, a sexy curve of his lips that heated his eyes to molten gold. "I went to pick up something."

"Cryptic. I like it." Returning his sweet smile, I let my arms slip away, my fingers lingering as they slid down his forearms. "Reminds me of old times."

"Speaking of old times..." He reached out, snagging one of my hands. "How about I take you out for a ride on the bike?"

I made a face, but I couldn't deny the frisson of excitement that fluttered in my belly at the thought of clinging to his back as he sped through the damp streets. "I don't know...I used to hate that thing."

"Only because you were afraid. You can't die now. We can ride as fast as we want."

"With no helmets?"

"They're a little superfluous at this point."

"What if I catch a whiff of human?"

"Believe me, a helmet would make it worse. It would just trap the scent."

I pretended to think for a moment. "Can I drive?"

He laughed aloud. "Certainly not."

I scowled. "Why not?"

He went from amusement to deadly seduction in less than a second. "Because I want to feel you wrapped around me while I drive. I want to take the turns just a bit too fast, so you'll grab onto me tighter. I want you so close I can feel your tits pressing into my back."

_Oh__, __okay __then__. __Holy __cow__. __Sounds __good __to __me__._

"Let me get a jacket," I said hoarsely, before flashing back into the cottage for this cool leather jacket I'd seen in my closet. Human habits died hard. I quickly zipped up the coat and bounded back down to the front yard to meet Edward. He was still standing in the same place, a bemused grin curving his lips.

He commented, "Eager, are we?" and grabbed my hand, towing me toward the silver hellbeast.

"Maybe I just like rubbing my boobs on your back."

Swallowing hard, he said, "Sounds great to me."

He swung one long leg over the side and gestured for me to follow. The engine rumbled deeply with one crank of the key, and we were off as soon as I got settled.

We flew through the back roads of Forks, making our way toward the freeway. Minutes passed into hours as the wind swept my hair out of its ponytail. I pressed myself like glue to the man in front of me. My arms wound tight around his waist, and I squeezed my thighs against outsides of his. He laughed warmly when he took a corner too fast for a human to handle, causing me to clutch him even tighter. He was definitely keeping his earlier promises.

When we neared the lights of the Seattle metropolitan area, Edward turned off onto more back roads that looked vaguely familiar. At first, I thought he was doing it to avoid any major concentrations of humans, but I soon realized he was heading somewhere familiar.

The night had cleared during our ride, and the tall spruces lining either side of the road framed a huge, brightly shining gibbous moon. It was beautiful and glorious, and I turned my face up to savor the crisp, cool air as it rushed past my face.

When Edward turned down the lane that led to his Fox Island home, I got a little giddy and sentimental. The last time I'd been here, I had been human. The few homes that hid behind winding driveways sparked foggy memories as we drew closer to the home that sat in the middle of an eight-acre plot of land. We'd be truly alone; no thoughts to intrude on Edward's mind.

And no human scents to tempt me.

The crisp air cleared my nostrils as I took it in, though the autumn chill didn't bother me. I just enjoyed the breeze as it blew past my face and whipped my hair into a tangle of curls. I huddled closer to Edward, flattening my hands against the hard ridges of his abdomen. My cheek fit perfectly between his shoulder blades, right in the strong groove of his spine. I closed my eyes and remembered riding this way as a human, and an overwhelming wave of happiness made me shiver. As he took the last bend that would lead us to his driveway, I let out a laugh. It was so surreal, being here again. I only hoped this visit would put my vague, human memories of this place to shame.

We were almost there when we passed a late-night jogger. The heavy, wet thud of his elevated heartbeat and the rich scent of his blood caught me by surprise. My fingers tightened, digging into Edward's waist.

"Concentrate, love," Edward murmured under his breath, knowing I'd hear easily. "Stay with me. You don't want it."

I buried my face in the back of his neck. "I don't want it," I repeated, inhaling the sweet scent of him and then holding my breath in an attempt to rid my nostrils of the tempting odor of human blood. _I __can __do __this__. __I __can __do __this__. __He __doesn__'__t __smell __that __good__...__oh__, __hell__―__who __am __I __kidding__? __I __want __a __drink __of __that __more __than __a __stoned __kid __with __cotton __mouth __wants __a __Mountain __Dew__._

I clenched my jaw. _No __eating __the __human__, __Bella__!_

I even said it out loud in an attempt to make myself believe.

"That's right, Bella. We're almost there. You're fine," he encouraged, swinging the bike into the driveway.

The garage door opened smoothly to reveal the shiny, pewter-colored sports car that I remembered from our first date. Edward cut the engine, and we glided inside, the door shutting immediately behind us. We sat there on the the bike as I slowly let out a breath, trying to let some of the tension seep from my body. Tentatively, I inhaled once, scenting only Edward and traces of gasoline and oil from the vehicles in the garage.

"I did it," I said, slightly amazed at myself. "You didn't even have to hold me down."

"You're doing very well, love. Soon you'll be able to completely resist the bloodlust. Then we can walk among humans if we so desire."

I fixed my gaze on his. "Can I see my parents? If I can control myself?"

He frowned. "Are you sure you want to test out your newfound control on your parents?"

"I can do it!" I snapped, my mood taking a dive. "I wouldn't eat them."

"You wouldn't mean to, but it could be over before you even realized what was happening." His eyes darkened and grew hard. "Not to mention that it's against our laws. No humans can know about our kind."

"Well, you broke that law, didn't you, Mr. I-Watch-You-While-You're-Sleeping-and-I'm-Not-Sant a-Claus?"

"That was different! You are my mate. You'd never reveal my secret."

"They're my parents, and they're worried. They'd never tell either!"

Softening his voice, he took my hand and gave me a pleading look. "Please, Bella, can you wait? Give yourself some time to completely master your thirst―it's safer that way. Let's wait until after this whole thing with the Volturi blows over. We don't need to give them another reason to be perturbed with our family."

I sighed, my shoulders deflating. He was right. I didn't want to talk about my parents anymore. It just made me impatient and sad. So, I deflected.

"So, it's going to blow over, huh? Be careful, Edward, that's not exactly a pessimistic viewpoint," I said with a slight smile.

"I'm turning over a new leaf," he returned, hiding a smile of his own. "It's something my mate keeps insisting I do―think positive and all that crap."

He tossed the keys to the bike onto the kitchen counter and led me through the house, heading out the back door. We stopped at the wraparound deck, and he guided us to rest against the railing that lined the perimeter.

"So, this thinking positive stuff...is it working?" I tilted my head up to meet his eyes and linked my arms around his neck.

"It just might be." He dipped his head to give me a slow, sweet kiss. "It _has_ to blow over, Bella. I have some really great plans for us," he finished, his voice trailing to a whisper. He pulled my arms from his neck and dipped his hand into his jacket pocket. "The first of which begins tonight. You've given me everything I could possibly imagine in this life, Isabella Swan. But there's just one more thing I want."

Slowly, he went to one knee. A phantom heartbeat exploded in my chest.

"Marry me, Bella."

His eyes were worried and excited all at once as he looked up at me, and he gently laid a small, square box in my hand. Its velvet-covered surface was soft in my palm, and my fingers instinctively closed around it.

"Huh?" _Oh__, __way __to __fucking __go__, __Bella__. __Very __articulate__._

He huffed a small laugh and smiled at me. "Marry me."

I swallowed hard. "That's what I thought you said."

I'd fantasized about being Edward's wife a couple times, but was I ready to be the center of attention like that? Would we have to have a real wedding? It would be hard for me to be around any humans that attended, namely the pastor. The last thing I needed was to slip up and eat a man of the cloth.

_Wait__ – __I _want _to __marry __Edward__. __Why __am __I __panicking __again__?_

I went through all the reasons for my anxiety and realized that not one of them had anything to do with being unsure about loving Edward for the rest of my life. Maybe I was still too young to fully grasp what _forever_ truly meant for me now, but I was beginning to get the gist of it.

"Okay," I blurted out.

Edward's brows rose. "'Okay'?" His smile, which had begun to fade before my outburst, widened into a full-on grin. "Is that a yes?"

I nodded, the words sticking in my throat. "Yes. I'll marry you." Closing my empty hand around his wrist, I opened up to him. It was easier that way, for both of us.

_It__'__s __nothing __compared __to __our __connection __already__. __I__'__m __bound __to __you __always__. __Yes__. __My __answer __will __always __be __yes__._

He was on me in vampire speed, holding me so tightly that I was up off the deck. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he spun in a circle, his head tipped up to the sky, a laugh vibrating deep in his chest. Slowly, he lowered himself to sit on one of the teak chairs that dotted the space. He reached out for the velvet box and pried it open, removing a gigantic, freaking sparkler of a ring.

The heart-shaped diamond was as big as a Ring Pop, I swear. And when he tried to put it on me, I jerked my hand back like he was on fire.

"Are you kidding me?" I burst out. "I'm not a Kardashian!"

Edward laughed deep and loud. It was no secret in the Cullen household that Emmett was obsessed with the human family, much to Rose's displeasure. It seemed that Edward had been paying attention as well.

I fake growled and pushed his back against the chair, leaning over him. I pointed at the ring and scowled. "I can't wear that, Edward. It's literally the size of a bird's egg! A really _large_ bird! Maybe a small chicken!" That thing was at least an inch wide.

His eyes glowed gold, matching his sunny grin, something I'd seen far too infrequently since we left Isle Esme. "This isn't your real ring. I meant to torture you a little longer, but I can't wait. I want to see my ring on your finger." He took the ring and box back, slipping both into the inner pocket of his jacket. He gave me a measuring glance, then sighed and reached into his back pocket, presenting something different. "So how about this one?"

Between his thumb and forefinger rested a gleaming platinum band that sparkled with tiny pavé diamonds. It swirled in a delicate halo around a slightly-too-large (but I could totally get used to it) stone that shimmered with white heat. The brightest damn diamond I'd ever seen was lit up like a freaking nuclear furnace, practically warming the air with its energetic glow.

It was beautiful. More expensive than anything I'd ever owned, but I wasn't ever giving it back. It was simply perfect.

"Oh, Edward...I love it."

With a huge grin, he immediately placed it on my fourth finger, tracing his fingertips over the band. I threw my arms around his neck and admired my ring over his shoulder.

"Nice one, Cullen. Well played." I couldn't resist planting a thank you kiss on the side of his neck.

"I have to keep you on your toes, soon-to-be-former Miss Swan. You're fond of doing the same to me," he replied, "But I had to see the look on your face when I gave you the gaudiest ring ever to disgrace a jewelry shop."

Jerking my head back to look up at him, I blinked. "It's not...it's not _real_, is it?"

"I didn't say that."

I blinked again. Edward was going to wonder if I had something stuck in my eye. "What?!"

"I didn't say it wasn't real, I just said that it wasn't your real engagement ring." Oh, he looked so damn smug. "It's still yours, regardless."

I rolled my eyes and snorted. _Attractive__, __I __know__. __It__'__s __a __wonder __he __wants __to __marry __me_. "How did you steal that thing from the crown jewels without getting caught?"

He sighed. "I stole nothing from the crown jewels, love. I'm afraid it's just a very large, inclusion-free diamond with perfect clarity, impeccably cut―"

Covering his mouth with my hand, I frowned at him in dismay. "Does it come with a safety deposit box? One that only opens with some kind of key code or a fingerprint identification pad?" I let my hand drop so he could answer.

Edward smiled gently. "You can do whatever you want with it, Bella, just please don't refuse it."

_Wow__. __Wow__. __Is __this __real __life__?_

"Safety deposit box it is."

"Perhaps you'd like to have it made into something else? A necklace, maybe? That was my true intention for the gem."

"I'd _still_ keep it in the safety deposit box. That thing's got to be worth more than my house back in Bremerton!"

He just chuckled and traced a fingertip over my fourth finger, where my real ring fit perfectly, before linking his fingers with mine. "Someday, Future Mrs. Cullen, I'll teach you to appreciate the finer things in life."

"Are you one of those finer things, Mr. Cullen?" My voice was all breathy and silly, but I literally couldn't help it. I was overwhelmed with his sweetness and just about done for when his gaze started to heat up.

"What do you think?" He tugged me closer and grazed my nose with his, teasing me, never quite getting close enough to kiss.

"I think definitely." I grabbed the back of his head and held him still, because I simply had to kiss him, right that minute.

"That's a very..._definite_ answer," he mumbled against my lips.

I nibbled on his bottom one in retaliation. "Don't make me regret it," I teased, almost squealing when he stood up and stalked into the house. When I realized he was headed straight for the bedroom, anticipation gathered low and warm in my stomach.

"Never in a million years," he whispered into the side of my neck―right before he gave me a teasing bite.

_Never __in __forever_.

-x-

It wasn't until the next morning that I realized Edward had successfully gotten me to accept not one, but _two__,_ pieces of jewelry that were probably valuable enough to be insured with Lloyd's of London.

He was clever, that one. I knew better than to underestimate him, but I still got taken in whenever he put his mind to it. My mate – and future husband – was impossible to resist. I'd long ago accepted it, and I'd never be ashamed.

When I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror above the sink, I was grinning like a sap. My eyes were relaxed, lids lowered slightly, the irises glowing like bleeding amber, with only the slightest traces of newborn red lingering near my pupils. I looked pretty fucking blissful. It should have been sickening.

I stood there so long the glass began to fog up. Steam drifted out of the shower and condensed on my cool skin. Edward's shadow filled the doorway, and we locked eyes in the blurry mirror. His gaze broke from mine to trail down my naked body. Abruptly, he gave his head a little shake and cleared his throat, fixing his gaze on mine.

"Everything is all set up. Carlisle is producing the necessary paperwork, and he's arranging a marriage license for us. He can't go through true legal channels, but he's calling in some favors. We'll be married as soon as we sign the papers, but we won't be able to have a true ceremony until you've overcome your thirst," he continued, inching closer. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

"That's okay. We're already..." I paused to gather my words as my voice broke, catching thickly in my throat. In an effort to convey the depth of my feelings, I gripped one of his hands in mine and brought it to my lips. "It's just a formality, as far as I'm concerned," I finished in a whisper.

"I love you...so much."

I pressed our joined hands to my heart, leaning back into his chest. Watching our reflections, I smiled and tilted my head, which encouraged him to trail a set of gentle kisses across my shoulder and up my neck. He rested his cheek against mine and sighed softly.

"Bella, I don't want to wait to make my vows to you." Phantom heat warmed my chest and I leaned back against him a little more to hide the weakness that suddenly affected my knees. Locking eyes with me in the mirror, he said, "I promise to love you forever - every single day of forever. I will spend every moment making you happy, if you'll only let me."

"I'd be a moron to refuse," I answered with a weak laugh. Still with the terrible jokes... Why couldn't I just keep my lips zipped?

Edward raised an eyebrow. "You want to make _that_ part of your vows to me?"

"It's the truth," I insisted, giving him the stink-eye.

"There's no need to give me the look." Bringing a hand to my face, he ran a fingertip between my eyebrows, smoothing out the lines. A gentle smile curved his lips. "Though I love even your grouchy expressions."

"How magnanimous of you." I fought the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"I love everything about you."

And I completely melted. Just like I did every single time he told me.

"I'm so in love with you," I whispered, turning to face him. "Since the first time on the ferry. I thought I was crazy...but my heart knew...my heart knew that I was yours."

"As I am yours. You own me. Irrevocably." His eyes were dark, amber limned with gold, surrounding deep, dark pupils. They penetrated so deep; like he could see inside my soul.

"You're mine."

He nodded. "Made for you." He came closer, dropping his head.

I tipped up my lips in response. "And I'm yours."

"All mine? Forever?"

I could see the hope and the question in his eyes.

"Forever. I promise to love you until the sun goes supernova. And long after that," I added with a little smile.

His lips curled at the edges as his eyes lit up with mirth. "I'll take it," he murmured as he closed the distance.

Then his mouth was on mine, and there was no more laughter. My arms went around his neck, pulling him to me tightly. He fisted his hands in my hair, turning my head for his kiss, going deeper. It went on, and on – maybe minutes, maybe hours – before he started walking me backward toward the shower. His hands slid down my back, finally resting on my bottom. With a strong squeeze and a tug, he pulled me closer, until we were underneath the hot spray. I clutched at his shoulders, pulling myself up against him and wrapping my legs around his waist. He hummed against my lips, licking, nipping, tasting... owning. And I gave.

I gave myself up to his searching hands – pressing my breasts into his gliding palms, letting him discover my pebbled nipples as I arched against his body. The hard length of him ground against me, sliding through heat and wetness, finally slipping so deep inside me that I cried out, the sound muffled by his lips.

He took me against the chilled travertine, pressing his chest so close to mine he squeezed the breath from my lungs. I rocked up and down against the wall with the force of his thrusts. With shaky hands, I clutched at his shoulders, digging my nails into his skin, trying to anchor myself in reality.

But there was only want and need.

Skin and heat.

Rhythm and breath.

Push and pull.

Fast...then slow.

His forehead dropped to mine, his breath heavy against my cheek. Water streamed down his chest, snaking between us in meandering rivulets. I looked up to find his gaze fixed on my face, and I couldn't look away. His movements intensified, hips thrusting harder, hands gripping tighter. The rush of the water echoed in the small bathroom, but it wasn't loud enough to wash out the sounds of flesh on flesh and harsh, heavy breath. He licked droplets of water from my lips and I caught his tongue, sucking it into my mouth, swallowing his answering groan.

I was almost there... so close...

Edward broke our kiss and dragged his lips down to my shoulder, his teeth grazing the tendon connecting my neck and shoulder. I tipped my head back, giving him room. His tongue trailed hotly along my sensitive skin, ending in another, more deliberate bite. My breath left me in a rush as my body tensed, every muscle tightening, tingling in anticipation. I could feel every inch of him, his hips working against mine, every thrust and grind bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

He wound a hand in my hair, holding me arched and exposed for him as he moaned against my neck. "Bella, I can't..." he gasped, "Please..."

A long, drawn-out moan was all I could manage as I tumbled over, shaking and shivering. I dug my heels into his ass and clutched at his shoulders, trying to pull him closer. The things he made me feel...I couldn't take it. My whole body was on fire, and I loved every second of it.

His teeth sunk deeper into my shoulder, and I wondered if he'd be able to leave a mark. I wanted it – needed it. Needed his brand to overrule the evidence of my rash stupidity.

"Fuck, Bella..." he groaned, all hot breath and tensing muscles as he gave in to his release, crushing me into the shower tiles. They gave way with a sharp crack, and I knew there would be a perfect imprint of my body left behind... if I ever had the energy to move away.

The water ran cold, and we still didn't move. "I know I'm a vampire and all, but I think you're gonna have to carry me back to the bedroom," I mumbled. "I'm too satisfied to function properly.

Edward laughed smugly and lifted his head from my shoulder. "Damn. And I was going to ask you to carry me."

"How manly of you, Cullen."

"I think I just proved how manly I am." One brow arched high as he looked down at me. He reached back and shut off the water, shaking his head a little to get the hair out of his eyes. Droplets of water ran down from his temples, trailing over the strong lines of his jaw. Even though I was completely sated, I wanted to follow that path with my tongue. "Well?" he prompted, pinching my bottom.

I rolled my eyes and suppressed a smile. "I guess."

He scowled at me, a little growl rumbling in his chest. "You _guess_? Well, I suppose there's no need for me to do that again, given the unenthusiastic response..."

"You're cutting me off?"

"I might."

I snorted with laughter. "Right."

"I will!"

With a disbelieving smirk, I disentangled myself from his body and lowered my legs to the floor. "Whatever you say."

His lips tightened, like he was trying not to smile. I brushed my fingertips over them once, and then danced away from him, grabbing my towel from its drying bar. He frowned when I wrapped it around myself, denying him the view of my naked body. Lucky for me, he didn't follow my example. Naked, water dripping from his long, lean muscles, he shook his head, grabbed his own towel, and went into the bedroom. Of course, I followed him.

Our time here was running out, and I wasn't going to waste another minute.

* * *

"_I __promise __to __love __you __forever__ - __e__very __single __day __of __forever_." - Quoted directly from _Eclipse__._ I'm not going to fix what isn't broken. That part, at least. ;)

Thanks to everyone who's still with me. You guys are awesomely patient, and I love you. Drop me a line and say hi.


	29. Impact Ionization

_Hi there! Bet you're surprised, aren't you? It's even a day early!_

_Thanks to KristenLynn, who helped me so much with this chapter that she probably deserves co-authorship. She lets me know when shit doesn't work, and helps me fix it._

* * *

**Chapter 29: Impact Ionization**

* * *

We took the car back to Forks, as it was raining. Even though we couldn't get cold, being pelted with raindrops for hours wasn't on the top of my list of things to do before we left for Volterra.

Carlisle and Alice were waiting for us outside when we pulled up to the Cullen home. Edward took my hand as he helped me from the car, and we climbed the porch steps together. He frowned; I couldn't tell if it was in response to their thoughts or Alice's mere presence… or both.

"Are you ready to get back to work?" Edward asked, turning to me with a resigned expression.

_Well__, __that __answers __my __question__._ "I guess. What is it?"

He paused and took my hand. Shit. I wasn't going to like this.

"We need you to work on letting Alice past your shield," Carlisle explained.

At least he had enough sense to look chagrined.

But I still couldn't stop the little growl that slipped from my throat. Though I knew her motives, I was still angry. The last thing I wanted to do was make myself vulnerable to Alice, of all people. Theoretically, I understood Carlisle's request. If I could let Alice in, I could probably do it with anyone. But for the life of me, I didn't know why it was important - especially in the case of the more debilitating talents out there. Why would I want to leave myself open to attack?

"Do I have to?"

"Bella," Edward said with a little grin. He knew how much I liked busting Alice's balls…err, ovaries. "It's best to be as prepared as possible. We have no idea what will happen in Volterra. Some kind of heads up would be nice."

"Why can't you all just go through life without knowing the future? You know, like _normal_ people?"

"Maybe because we're not people?" Alice snipped.

"Vampires are people, too," I snapped back.

Edward stifled a laugh, and I elbowed him. I'd never be able to keep a straight face with this antagonistic routine if he kept laughing at me.

"Did you read that on a bumper sticker, Bella?" Carlisle asked with his own little grin.

I shot him a dirty look, which he waved off with a good-natured shrug.

Edward wasn't so successful in keeping quiet this time. It wasn't quite a belly laugh, but it was close. It would have been better had I not been the butt of their joke, but it made me happy to see them relax enough around one another to laugh. The whole scene almost put me at ease. Even Alice's expression was looking a little less sour. Was that a smile wrinkling the corner of her mouth?

"Oh, fine, I'll do it."

_But __I __won__'__t __be __happy __about __it_.

Edward turned his grin on me and gripped my left hand, squeezing warmly. How could I deny him anything he wanted?

"I knew she would," Alice said smugly, then gasped. "Holy shit!" Her eyes glazed over, making her look like some kind of creepy, possessed doll, and I knew she was having a vision.

"What is it?" I felt the shield snap right back into place as soon as I realized it was down. Too late, I tried to pull it back, but it slipped through my fingers as I encountered the familiar brick wall in my mind.

When I'd let the shield go, I had no idea. But it was a start.

Alice shook her head, blinking. Her expression gave nothing away. "At least that's something... but it's still not enough to make me very confident," she said in a subdued tone.

A minute went by, with Edward frowning as he stared at Alice. "Why are you blocking me? I need to know what's going on here."

Alice looked at him dispassionately. "If I don't block you, things could go very badly."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and clenched his jaw, letting out a little growl of frustration.

"Are you kidding me?" I snapped in disbelief. "Then what's the point of letting you through the shield?"

"Well, I didn't exactly know what would happen beforehand," Alice shot right back. "I'm just trying to help!"

Edward glared daggers at his sister - which she returned with great enthusiasm. But something was different. For the first time, I didn't think there was any real malice between them, just a lot of frustration. Oh, there was still plenty of anger between them, but it was more like simple sibling rivalry than true hatred.

It was Carlisle who finally broke up the staring contest. "We shouldn't let this deter us. Perhaps if we keep trying, we can gather a bit more information."

Edward blew out a breath and nodded, though I could tell he didn't want to let it go. He turned back to me. "What was different about that time, Bella?"

"I don't know… you all were so relaxed; I've never felt less tension around all of you at once. I guess subconsciously, I knew I was safe…" I let my voice trail off and concentrated on pinpointing exactly what had happened earlier.

"You can do this, love," he murmured.

Drawing on his strength, I concentrated on recognizing what it felt like to pull back the shield, isolating the sensation.

Taking a deep breath to try and center myself, I started by opening up to Edward, relaxing the shield enough for him to hear what was going on inside my head. I just let it all go, visualized dropping that invisible curtain, revealing the vulnerable inner facets of my mind.

He pulled me into his side and wrapped a strong arm around my waist. Giving me an encouraging smile, he lowered his head, put his lips to my temple, and breathed me in.

I was overwhelmed with all I felt for him. How lucky I was to have experienced a love like this for even such a short time – so much that I knew forever wouldn't be close to long enough. I knew it was impossible, but it felt like I was blushing. Leaning into his body, I grazed my nose against the patch of bare skin revealed at the collar of his shirt. I wanted to put my lips on him there, everywhere. Letting my gaze travel back upward, I found him staring down at me with burning eyes.

He wet his lips and swallowed, and the tiniest, most wicked smile pricked the corner of his mouth. "I hear you."

Satisfaction spread like a warm wave, radiating out from my chest.

"Oh, for God's sake, guys. I don't want to see visions of you two sexing it up!" Alice griped, crossing her arms over her chest, effectively breaking the spell.

_Yes__! __It __worked__!_

I pulled away from Edward enough to give her a sickly sweet smile. "Don't be picky, Alice. I was letting you in."

"Bella, I think it's safe to say your shield knows when you're safe. It's always going to want to protect you. You're safe around the family, so you let go," Carlisle cut in, pacing the width of the porch. It was pretty damn annoying, but it went along with his curious professor vibe. "You just need to work on isolating that feeling, and using it to your advantage."

"Oh, is that all? I'm sure I can master that in less than twenty-four hours," I muttered, words dripping with sarcasm. "Simple enough."

Edward nudged my side. "Just try it. Carlisle's right."

Alice nodded. "Mmm-hm." She sounded like a munchkin drag queen, complete with high-pitched tone and highly-_faaahbulous_ pronunciation.

I ignored her and looked up at my mate. "Sorry. I'm just a little on-edge. You know, the looming confrontation with a bunch of power-hungry, bossy vampires? It's making me nervous." Smiling wryly, I rested my head on his bicep.

Edward squeezed me a little tighter. "I'll be with you the entire time."

"You'd better be."

"Carlisle, I think we should all sit down with the family to discuss this trip. Especially Jasper - we need his strategic opinion," Edward explained.

"Esme is waiting in the house, and I believe Jasper is there as well. Emmett and Rose are still out hunting. They're due back anytime. Why don't you come in? We can discuss everything as soon as everyone's returned." Carlisle paced over to the door and held it open wide.

Edward nodded in agreement, looking down at me. "Is that okay?"

I nodded. "Sounds good to me."

I blinked up at him as I curled my fingers a bit in his back pocket. Something rumbled in his chest, and his eyes flared.

Alice sighed and headed for the house, muttering, "Disgusting. I'll see you inside."

Biting my lip for effect, I opened my mind again and thought, _wonder __if __we __have __time __to __visit __the __cottage__?_ It was followed by images of us in various compromising positions.

He did growl that time, but he fought back the lust I knew he was feeling. It was very apparent where he pressed against my hip. With a shake of his head, he said, "Come on," and strode toward the front porch with me in tow.

Had I been human, I would have stumbled my way after him. As a vampire, I easily kept up. It was awesome.

I loved being a vampire — and I wasn't going to give this life up easily.

**-x-**

"Hey Luuuuucyyy, I'm home!" Emmett called as he and Rose burst through the back door in a windy swirl of damp leaves. "I win, Rosie! You owe me. Fair and square race."

"You cheated!" she accused, followed by a thud and Emmett grunting. "Tossing that boulder right in my way…" she bared her teeth as they entered the room, and Emmett held up both hands.

"Sorry, babe. You snooze, you lose."

Rolling her eyes, she picked a leaf out of her hair and turned to the rest of us. "What's up?"

"Alice had a vision —"

"Bella,_what_ is that on your finger?" Rose interrupted, her voice higher than usual. "Holy shit," she breathed, speeding to my side and grabbing my left hand. "Damn, Edward, did you drop a hundred—"

"Rose!" Edward snapped, raising his eyebrows high in warning.

She let go of my hand, and I let it fall to my lap.

"But it's—"

"It doesn't matter," Edward said firmly, his tone clearly saying _drop__it__._

Rose raised one eyebrow right back. "A hundred grand _matters__._"

"That's cold, Rosie," Emmett grinned, tugging her to a seat on the love seat across from us. "Nice ring, Bella. Eddie, you did good."

I just watched the spectacle unfold before me, eyes volleying from one person to another in amused disbelief. _One __hundred __thousand __dollars__?_ Holy crap. If the reasonable one was worth a hundred grand, how much was the ungodly one worth? Clearing my throat, I finally settled my gaze on Edward.

I narrowed my eyes. "You're in so much trouble."

He tried to look innocent. "I want to spend my money on you, love. I have plenty of it."

"It's too much," I grumbled, worrying the band on the underside of my finger with the pad of my thumb. The stone glittered in the light of the lamp.

"It's not." He sounded so sure of himself. "You're priceless. I can't spend enough," he said quietly, and I melted.

I heard Esme sniff in the background, while Emmett snickered and Rose let out a contented little sigh. Scanning the room, I saw Alice and Jasper sitting on the staircase with neutral expressions. Carlisle watched us all with a contented smile, the very picture of proud patriarch. Eventually, my eyes landed back on Edward, where his honeyed gaze met mine.

"Damn, y'all are awkward to be around," Jasper drawled suddenly, breaking the spell.

"Congratulations, kids." Esme sounded genuinely happy, her voice dripping with delight.

"Thanks, Esme." I gave Edward a quick peck on the lips.

"Congrats, guys," Emmett offered. "I'm just glad you've got that cottage."

"So am I," Rose nodded emphatically.

"Wish I had it back when you two first mated." Edward said, pointing to Emmett and Rosalie.

"You're just bitter I didn't go for you, Pretty Boy." Rose smirked at him good-naturedly.

Edward's reply was matter-of-fact: "I would never." He stressed the last word.

Rose didn't seem to take offense. "As you shouldn't have." She smiled warmly at Edward and me, and leaned her head on Emmett's shoulder.

"I hate to break up the long-awaited family moment," Alice interrupted, "but we still need to discuss strategy. We're all accountable here - we've harbored Edward and Bella for months; first at Isle Esme, and then here in Forks."

"Right," Carlisle sighed.

"I can't see much, but I do know that Aro won't be able to deny that you're mates. Marcus's gift will see to that," she continued. "But I'm not sure what Aro will do. That decision must be up in the air."

"We should have Bella work a little more on letting Alice in." Jasper instructed, getting up to join Carlisle at his desk. He grabbed a pen and some paper, and began diagramming a plan of attack. "Any bit of intel is worth the effort."

"He's right," I surprised myself by saying. It was so easy to contribute. I'd never felt so confident. "We get as much info as we can. I'll work on lowering my shield, and we'll all make as many decisions as possible. Alice will see the outcomes. Edward and I can go in as informed as possible."

"You need some back-up. You're not going in there alone," Jasper stated, shaking his head firmly. "Alice and I can go in with you - as a show of solidarity."

I was confident in my own abilities, but that didn't mean my faith extended to Alice. I didn't know if I trusted her to back me up. Who knew what she would decide was _for __my __own __good__, _and how it would affect Edward and me.

"We'll be fine," Edward said, brows creasing.

Alice pressed the issue. "But there's a good chance you'll need us. I can't tell you exactly what I've seen, but nothing offers odds better than fifty-fifty."

"Bella and I will go alone," he insisted, to the displeasure of the rest of the family.

"Maybe you should let Alice —" Carlisle began.

"No. We're going alone." I could tell from his tone that there was no moving him.

"Whatever you say, all-knowing one," Alice muttered, a sad cast to her voice.

The tension was thick. It hovered around us like jello, waving and wiggling in response to each jab.

After a moment, Edward spoke. "I appreciate it, Alice…Jasper. But I caused this. I need to finish it. I drew attention to our kind when I reacted rashly and took Bella from that ambulance. I didn't stop to think long enough on how to get her to safety inconspicuously."

"But I owe you, Edward," Alice insisted, her mouth tightening into a thin line.

"No," he snapped, "you don't."

Alice looked like she wanted to respond, but she kept quiet. Jasper grasped her hand, and they shared a look that spoke volumes. So much flowed between them in a single glance; in that moment I saw them simply as mates who cared a great deal for one another, rather than just the people who had betrayed my own.

"We can discuss this again later," Carlisle offered, "perhaps when Edward and Bella have had time to come to their senses." He leveled a look at Edward, who just arched a brow.

"If we all show up in Volterra, it will be seen as a defensive move. Aro might take it as a declaration of war," Edward challenged.

Emmett scoffed. "There are only eight of us. Hardly an army."

Esme frowned. "I'm not sure that's the problem — I'm more concerned with what would happen if Aro were to discover all the gifts among you. Edward's mind-reading, Jasper's empathy, Alice's premonitions…" She fixed her gaze on me. "Bella's shield. Even if he decides not to punish you, he won't want to let you go. He'll want you all for the Guard."

Edward sighed. "Aro knows about me."

"What? How?" Rosalie fired off the questions like gunshots.

"Heidi."

The one-word explanation was all Edward needed to say. Upon our return to Washington, Edward and I had brought the entire family up to speed on what happened at Isle Esme, which led to a lengthy conversation on what Edward had been up to in the decades after he'd split with the family.

"Jesus. That bitch was one bun short of a Big Mac," Emmett mumbled.

I laughed. "How do you even know what a Big Mac is? Weren't you changed in the thirties?"

"Hey. I have a TV in my room," he defended, fighting a smile. "Who could forget that jingle?"

"You're right. And they _were_ delicious." I tried to remember the taste, but all I could come up with was something like ash-coated mud.

"Disgusting," Edward muttered, nudging me with his elbow.

"Pardon me, old chap," I said in what I hoped was an upper-crust, early 1900's accent. "I'm sure it can't compare to the gourmet sixty-course meals you enjoyed as a human."

He put his hand over my face and pushed lightly, trying not to grin. "Shut up."

"Guys," Jasper sighed, "We've got a lot of work to do, and not much time. As much as we're all enjoying the lighthearted stuff, it's not going to help you two by this time tomorrow."

My shoulders slumped. "Fine. You're right. Let's get started on Volturi 101."

**-x-**

It was just a piece of paper. Wood, shredded to a pulp, mixed with water, and dried.

I could pulverize boulders. Rip through titanium. Swim to Russia or Japan — or both — without taking one single breath, but that one piece of paper made me nervous.

And I liked it.

That one piece of paper summarized my entire existence — it bound me to Edward Cullen. It promised that I, Isabella M. Swan, promised to love, honor, and cherish my husband. It promised what my heart knew: that I was his. That he promised to love me every day of forever.

My name was right there, plain in Courier New below the signature line. His lay just opposite mine. As I set my pen to paper, I looked up and met Edward's gaze. "I guess it's official, huh?"

A shy smile crept across his face. "It is." He threaded the fingers of his left hand with my right and tugged me close when I finished my signature.

_It __was __official __the __day __I __met __you__, __right__?_ I looked him right in the eyes briefly before focusing on the document. He signed his own name in an elegant yet somehow messy scrawl.

"I belong to you now," he said quietly, laying his pen down and cupping my cheek in his newly freed hand.

_You __own __my __heart__._ _I __love __you__._

What else could I say?

"Nothing," he answered, voice soft. "That's all I need, baby. _You__'__re_ all I need."

Baby? That was new. I supposed I could tolerate it if he didn't make a habit out of the pet name. Not sure I wanted him to add that one to the repertoire.

He laughed and nuzzled his nose along mine. "Duly noted."

"Okay, get out of my brain." I tipped my face up in invitation.

"I'm not the one who can turn it off," he pointed out.

He enjoyed the effect he had on me, I knew it. I couldn't help it if my mate was the most charming, most clever, best-looking male on the planet. That made it hard for a girl to stay rational or sane.

Suddenly his expression turned serious. "What did you do?" he asked, frowning.

"What? I don't know what you mean."

"All that praise." He shook his head. "You're buttering me up."

Laughing aloud, I finally blocked him out. "I mean every word," I promised. "Besides — if I was buttering you up, I definitely would have included a thought about the enormous size of your penis."

Edward burst out in laughter and someone loudly cleared a throat. Where was that coming from? I blinked, trying to clear my Edward-clouded vision.

"She's a keeper, Bro!" Emmett chimed in from the corner, startling the crap out of me.

"That was the most bizarre one-sided conversation I've ever heard," Rose sighed. "And I've heard a lot, living with Edward for decades."

I'd forgotten our witnesses! It wasn't like we truly needed them, since we wouldn't be filing our license at the courthouse, but Edward and I had both wanted to have something to make the legal part as official as possible. Alice and Jasper were out hunting again, so that left Emmett and Rose as witnesses. Carlisle and Esme looked on as Rose and Emmett came forward to sign the certificate next to our signatures.

"You two are so perfect together," Esme sobbed, reaching up to dab a tear from the corner of her eye. I did a double take at that, not because we couldn't cry tears — Esme was so practiced in the human façade that she didn't even realize she was doing it — but because she actually had a handkerchief. Who carries a handkerchief anymore?

You could take a vampire out of the era… but you couldn't take the era out of the vampire. I knew that pretty well.

"Congratulations, Edward," Carlisle said, the picture of calm understatement, but his lips were twitching with amusement.

Edward glanced up at him and smiled. "Thanks." He turned that grin on me, peering down with warm, honey-gold eyes, before he scanned the room. "Everyone, thank you."

"Yes, thank you," I echoed, watching my mate — my husband — interact with his estranged family.

His smile was relaxed and open, making him almost boyishly handsome. He'd tried to tame his hair before we came down to Carlisle's study, but the tenuously ordered style hadn't survived the nervous wanderings of his fingers in the moments before I picked up my pen. He looked amazing in slim, dark charcoal pants and a black pullover; his shoulders were broad and well-defined beneath the thick knit. Just beyond said shoulders, there was a giant mirror above an antique fireplace. It reflected the whole room, and the picture radiated so much normality it was almost sickening. If Norman Rockwell had a secret painting titled "The American Vampire," this could have been the inspiration.

I couldn't even enjoy it for fear of what our trip overseas would bring. It all seemed like a glimpse of utopia — but when has utopia ever worked out in the end? Was it possible that our story could have a happily ever after, and not end in dystopian angst?

_Jeez__. __How __maudlin_.

Shaking off my emo, I threw my arms around Edward's neck and lunged up to kiss his cheek. He laughed, which felt wonderful where our torsos met. I pulled back, raising a brow at him.

"I hear you're taking me on a grand honeymoon. Something about a great big, drafty castle in Italy…" I trailed off as everyone laughed uneasily.

Edward's smile disappeared, and I was instantly flooded with dismay that my awkward attempt at humor hadn't worked.

"Sorry," I murmured, biting my lip in concentration as I tried to think of something else to lighten the mood. Although that hadn't exactly ended up very well a minute ago…

"How about a hunt?" I finally blurted, looking to Edward and everyone else in desperation.

"Nah, Rosie and I are full," Emmett supplied.

Rose nodded in reluctant agreement and smiled sympathetically at me.

"Carlisle and I hunted this morning," Esme replied apologetically.

"I'll go," Edward said with a gentle smile, taking my hand in his.

"You two go on," Carlisle added, mercifully giving me an out.

"See you guys later," I mumbled as Edward towed me from the house.

Outside, Edward leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I'm not really thirsty, you know. I'll just take any chance I can get to be alone with you."

Squeezing his hand, I smiled. "I know."

I only hoped he knew it was just as true for me — and it didn't take a piece of paper to tell me so. But hell if it didn't make it seem more official. I grinned as Edward headed toward the cottage, eagerly anticipating the hours ahead. After all, I was a lucky, lucky girl — how many got to experience a wedding night with Edward Cullen…and _twice__, _at that?

**-x-**

Edward didn't fly us to Italy. The Volturi sent a plane. Were all vampires rich? We must be financial geniuses.

We were the only people on the plane, aside from the pilot and co-pilot, who were human. As long as they stayed locked in the cockpit, I'd be fine. As vampires, we had no need of a flight attendant. Though we didn't have human needs, the plane certainly had all the accoutrements of a luxury private jet: rich, soft leather furniture, including a large loveseat with artfully strewn, brightly-colored throw pillows and blankets, where I settled with Edward after kicking off my shoes; a fully-stocked bar complete with mixers and garnishes; and baskets of what I would have once considered tasty snacks. Now, however, the only tasty thing onboard was my mate — and the pilots, though in completely different ways.

I was glad for the control over my talent (tenuous as it was), because if Edward heard that last thought, he'd never let it go. He seemed to be able to tell I was thinking something naughty, but he said nothing. I resumed my perusal of the cabin, realizing that other humans must be using the plane on some occasion. Briefly, I wondered what happened to them, but that didn't last long. They were all either dead or immortal. Those were the only two choices once you met a vampire. I knew that firsthand — and the thought made me smile a little. No matter how rough it was at the beginning, I'd never been happier, and I didn't want to lose that.

Edward laid a hand on my thigh, stroking me with his fingertips almost absently as he smiled. "I wish I knew what you were thinking. You look worried," he whispered.

I offered him a weak smile. "I am worried."

Sighing softly, he said, "I am too." He took another deep breath. "But we've got to put that away, Bella. In this world…appearances are very important. We've got to appear confident."

I swallowed and nodded. "I know. It's just hard."

"I'm right here," he promised, his tone warm as he rubbed my thigh in a comforting rhythm. "Always."

"I love you," I offered with another weak grin.

"And I, you." Leaning closer, he pressed his soft lips to mine.

I warmed at his old-fashioned words and officially melted at his kiss. I leaned into him, placing a palm on his chest. He brushed his tongue over my lip and my fingers curled into his shirt. Sliding his arms around me, he tugged my body closer to his on the butter-soft leather of the love seat. One arm wrapped around my lower back, his other hand spanned my shoulder blades, and he kissed me deeply.

I liked where this was going. He kissed his way to my ear, where he murmured, "I know how I can make you feel better."

"Do you?" My voice was all breathy and probably annoying, but Edward seemed to enjoy it.

"I do."

"But, Mr. Cullen, you're not supposed to say that until the wedding ceremony."

"I'll say it then, too, Mrs. Cullen," he promised, dragging his lips down to my collar bone. "Besides, we're already married."

"Technically." I bit my lip to stop a smile. I loved baiting him.

He placed slow, sweet kisses over my still heart. "Technically? What about here, love? Are we married in here?" Edward looked up at me, and though his eyes danced with humor, there was a hint of vulnerability in his honeyed gaze.

There he had to go and make me melt all over again. My eyes stung, and I knew if it was possible to cry, tears would be welling over, spilling down my cheeks. "Of course," I forced out past the knot in my throat. "Of course we are. I love you, Edward."

He relaxed, grinning as he returned to his exploration of my upper chest. Impatiently, he slipped open the buttons of my shirt and started to tug the halves apart. I put my hands over his, trying to keep myself covered as I glanced around the cabin.

"Are you sure they won't see?"

He paused, eyes fixed on our hands, lingering on the glinting matching bands of platinum. His teeth scraped over his bottom lip. "I asked them not to disturb us." His gaze rose to mine, hot and pleading. "Please," he whispered.

And that was all it took to push away the last vestiges of modesty.

I swallowed hard and let go of his hands, placing mine on his sides and letting my fingertips explore the lean planes of muscle beneath his shirt. Gently, he tugged my blouse aside and sucked in a breath when he noticed what I wasn't wearing underneath.

"Christ." He let out a growl of approval as he stared at my bared skin. "Glad I didn't know about this earlier," he murmured with a wicked grin, which I couldn't help but return.

Slowly, he bent his head and licked a trail over the upper swell of my breast. He brushed the backs of his fingers against my peaked nipple, then cupped my left breast in his hand. His mouth ventured back up to mine and he captured my bottom lip, running his tongue over the inside face. As we kissed, he guided me to my back on the loveseat, settling himself between my legs, one knee on the floor for balance.

I arched up against him, loving the feel of the hard length of him pressed right where I needed it. "Are we going to join the mile high club?" I asked when he finally released my mouth. "I've had to wait so long."

He laughed into the crook of my neck as he worked his way down my body. "How can you blame me for that? Kind of hard to have sex when you're piloting the plane." Sharp teeth nipped at sensitive places, giving me goose bumps.

"True… but you're not the pilot today."

"I am not… thank God." He pushed my breast up as he reached my chest. He flicked his tongue over my nipple before sucking it into his mouth. I tangled my hands in his hair, trying to hold him in place. His mouth was amazing — it felt so damn good on my skin. He felt good everywhere. I whimpered in disappointment when he pulled his mouth away and started laying a trail of kisses down my abdomen. Low on my belly, he nipped my navel as he worked open the button of my jeans and slowly pulled the tab. I lifted my hips and let him tug the denim down my thighs, but he left them just above my knees. I tried to shimmy them down further, but he stopped me.

"Don't move," he murmured, voice low and gritty. He was panting, not for lack of breath, but from his desire for me. My own breathing sped as he laid a hand on my belly and spread his fingers wide. Slowly, he dragged them down, down…but still wouldn't touch me where I wanted.

"Edward," I panted, my entire body arching beneath his. "Touch me."

"Oh, I will," he said darkly. "Do you want me to touch what's mine?"

_Oh__, __holy __hell__. __I__'__m __gonna __die_.

"Yes!" Christ. He reduced me to one-word sentences.

"Really? Where should I touch?" He hitched my panties to the side; a finger trailed up one side of me and down the other. "Here? Or maybe here…" He leaned forward and took my nipple into his mouth.

"Oh…both!"

He was driving me insane with his teasing. He had me so wound up I would probably explode with the first real touch.

Letting my nipple go with a sucking sound, he whispered, "I want you to say it."

Something about the timbre of his voice made me shiver. "Say what?"

"Where to touch you. Do you want my fingers in this wet little pussy?"

Oh, shit. Where had this Edward come from? I'd caught a glimpse of him a few times, but he'd never been this…vocal. This…raw.

"Yes," I begged, nodding absently as I watched him. I didn't know what had gotten into him; if it was the stress of the last couple weeks, the threat of losing this wonderful thing we had, but I sure liked it.

"Say it."

It wasn't a request. He wasn't going to let me off the hook. Peering up at me with darkened eyes, he raked his teeth over the bare skin low on my belly. Again, he stroked a finger up and down, close to my lips but not quite there.

"I need you…please, touch m-my…pussy." My words were shaky and barely audible. I didn't know why it was so hard to say a few words, but I was more turned on than embarrassed.

He looked up at me with a wicked smirk as he stripped my jeans and panties away, folding my legs up against my chest. Achingly slowly, he brushed his fingertips through my wetness. "Oh, love," he breathed, closing his eyes as he pushed two fingers inside me. "You're perfect…" He bit and released his lip and stared down at his hand for a moment. Then he dipped his head low and put his mouth on me, humming low as he settled in.

Squirming at the edge of the loveseat, I threaded my fingers into his hair and bucked my hips up into his face. While he pumped his fingers in and out, he used his other hand to hold me open for his tongue. The edge of an orgasm licked at my veins and I threw my head back as he closed his mouth over my clit and sucked softly, rubbing his tongue in circles on my sensitive flesh. I exploded beneath him, biting my lip to stifle a scream as the climax took over.

When I was able to think again, I found myself pressed into the love seat again, feet tossed over Edward's shoulders. He didn't even take the time to get his jeans off — he just pushed them past his hips and thrust into me, ramming deep. But once he was there, he stilled. Needing an anchor, I clutched at his shoulders, trying to get closer. Placing a hand underneath my head, he urged me up and set his lips to mine, his tongue possessing me deep just like he did down lower. Holding himself up on one elbow, he started to move.

He blocked out everything with his body, looming over me as he worked himself deep. All I could see was him. The only thing I knew was what I could feel — and that was Edward. He was in my body, in my heart and in my soul. Soon, he picked up the pace, groaning as he ripped his mouth from mine and hung his head.

I cupped his face in my hands and watched his eyes go black. "Come, Edward. For me."

Gripping me tighter, he thrust twice more and ground his hips into mine, moaning my name, burying his face in my neck.

"I love you."

His breath felt warm against my skin, turning the words into another caress. When he lifted his head a few moments later, he brushed a gentle fingertip over my cheek before he pulled himself from my body. He helped me lower my legs and then pulled back, eyes searching my face.

"Same here," I whispered past a suddenly tight throat. The way he looked at me…it was like he was afraid he'd never see me again. And that terrified me. Like he said earlier, appearing confident was important, and I'd never be able to do it if Edward couldn't…

"Hey," I said shakily, eager to keep reality at bay for just a little longer. "We're _forgetting_, remember?"

He raised his head, blinked slowly and then relaxed, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "Is that what they call it? I thought it was another verb that begins with an F_._"

I turned my head to the side and kissed his palm, muffling my snort. "That, too."

"Did I?" he asked softly.

I frowned in confusion. "Did you what?"

"Did I make you forget?" His voice was getting lower, huskier. He shifted to sit up on the love seat, taking me with him. I gasped as he rotated his hips below mine, realizing he was still hard.

Vampire stamina for the win.

"You always make me…_forget_." I grinned naughtily.

He smiled for real this time. "Now why do I think you're substituting that for yet another word?"

I laughed softly, nuzzling my nose into his neck. "Speaking of that…you owe me one."

At that, he poised himself and slid inside me again. "Oh, I'm working on it, love."

**-x-**

We proceeded to "forget" until we stopped in London to refuel. I tried, but couldn't quite manage to convince my husband to bail right there.

"Let's just get off here." I deliberately let Edward in and showed him vignettes of us sightseeing — and making out — all over London's famous spots.

"We already did that," he said with a wink.

"Oh, come on," I laughed, belatedly hoping he didn't pick up on that unintentional pun. "You know what I mean.

"Tempting, but we can't." He zipped up his jeans and tugged on his t-shirt, followed by his sweater. "I'll take you on our way back, if you'd like." A shy smile made him look boyish — and adorable.

"Optimistic Edward, twice in two weeks!" I teased.

Grinning wider, he said, "Told you I was turning over a new leaf."

"So you did." I rolled my eyes over-dramatically, but let him read my amusement as I picked up my jeans. He retrieved my panties from across the cabin and started to stuff them in his pocket. "Uh-uh! Give them back." I motioned for them with my hand. "Jeans chafe without panties," I told him.

"These tiny things? All three square inches of material? They can't possibly cover much of your ass." He handed them back reluctantly.

I raised an eyebrow. "What exactly are you saying, Cullen? I happen to have a fantastic ass."

He gave me a wolfish grin. "Don't I know it…_Cullen_."

I couldn't help the smile that took over my face.

**-x-**

It was pitch black outside when we landed in Florence, and I was ready to get off the plane. Though I'd fed to the point of gluttony before we left Forks, I found myself thirsty upon our arrival. I supposed it was due to sharing tight quarters with two humans for so long, even if they were behind a securely locked door.

A car was waiting just off the tarmac as we gathered our things from the plane. "So it begins… Will we ever be out of their sight?" I asked Edward at vampire pitch.

"Probably not," he returned with a frown, looking over at the sleek, black car, "but we can ask. If there's a driver, I'll request that we drive ourselves to the castle."

"Good. I think I need to hunt."

He peered down at my eyes, presumably checking their color, and nodded. "I know a few good places."

"I thought you didn't stay on our…_diet_ when you lived here."

"I didn't…not for a long time. But when I began thinking about coming back to the States, I stopped drinking from humans and started hunting animals again." He made sure we had all of our luggage, and then said, "Come. We'll tell the driver he's not needed."

As soon as we started toward the car, it became clear to me that our driver was not human. Before we reached the vehicle, a vampire rivaling Emmett in size climbed out of the driver's seat. Edward sucked in a breath and muttered tersely, "Felix." Slowly, he set down the luggage and took my hand. I tucked myself closer to his body.

From our discussions back in Forks, I knew Felix had no special talent, other than brute strength. He was like Emmett in that way. His black t-shirt stretched across his broad shoulders, the armholes straining over his biceps. He looked like a bouncer for a strip club with his gelled and pulled-back, long hair. All that was missing was the barbed wire tattoo.

"Hello, Cullen. Welcome home," Felix replied with a sneer, his eyes hinting at violence. He made me really nervous, and I deliberately tightened my shield.

Edward didn't respond to the obvious jab. "If you don't mind, we'd like to drive on our own. Would you mind finishing your business in Florence alone?"

"I'm afraid that won't be possible. Aro is most anxious to meet with your new…acquisition." Felix raked his eyes over me, making me feel greasier than an oil slick.

"If you don't mind," I said dryly, "the _new __acquisition_ needs to hunt." Tightening my grip on Edward's hand, I tucked myself closer to his side. It might have belied my effort to appear confident, but I couldn't help myself — Felix made me jumpy.

"Sustenance will be provided for you and your mate, should you wish," he informed us, appearing bored. But then he looked me straight in the eye, likely taking in the weird reddish-amber state of my irises. He was anything but bored — it was all an act. Somehow, I knew that he wasn't talking about fetching me a local deer. He was talking about a different sort of meal altogether. There was a purpose to all of this, and I didn't like where it was going. Judging by the furrow in Edward's brow, he didn't either.

"Thank you, but no, Felix," Edward replied. "I'm sure you're aware… we follow an alternative diet."

"Ah, yes… your coven scorns our natural instincts."

Judging by the way he stiffened, Edward really didn't like that comment.

"We choose to coexist with humans, not treat them as cattle." He didn't bother to conceal his annoyance.

"But they're such tasty cattle."

Felix winked at me, and I had to suppress a cold shudder.

"My _wife_," Edward stressed the word, "and I will need our own car. I have plans to show Bella some of the Italian countryside before we return home." Edward was standing firm. Thank God, because I didn't think I could stomach a closed-in car ride with this snake.

"Aro won't be pleased." Annoyed, Felix shook his head. "He doesn't like to be kept waiting."

Edward's tone was challenging. "Surely Aro understands that we will need our own transportation. While we appreciate the courtesy, we've already arranged for a rental."

"Very well," Felix agreed sourly. "You're expected at the castle within the hour."

"Let's go, Edward. We don't have much time," I said, eager to get away from Nosferatu over there.

"Do hurry," he drawled, "Aro is most eager to speak with the two of you." Felix's grin oozed evil.

Edward cast me a sidelong glance before meeting Felix's eyes. "We'll meet you there."

"I look forward to it." He nodded. "My lovely." He directed the last two words at me, his ruby eyes raking my body, that gaze piercing like a knife.

_My __lovely__?_ _Ugh__. __Disgusting_. He made my skin crawl.

Edward literally growled at him. Felix held up his hands in surrender and grinned as he stepped back and got in his car.

"What's up with that guy?" I asked in disgust as the expensive sedan peeled away.

Edward looked like he'd just swallowed rat blood. "He was one of Heidi's…_admirers_."

"Ah… I see." Now it was my turn to look sour.

He had the grace to look chagrined. Shrugging, he said, "Come. We'll pick up the car at the rental counter." With a quick squeeze, he let me go before picking up most of our luggage, leaving me with a few small carry-ons. Either one of us could have carried it all, but we needed to keep up appearances.

By the time we finished renting the car, our hour was almost up. Apparently when one rents a 100K (in Euros!) Maserati, there's quite a lengthy qualification process. Even the Cullen charm didn't work with the dour matron working the night shift at the counter.

"I know you drive fast, but I'm pretty sure the laws of physics will keep us from getting there on time," I said as Edward buckled me in. The damn car's doors opened _up_. Up! Like the DeLorean from _Back __to __the __Future__._ He walked around to his side at a human pace, rubbing his hands together in absolute glee.

With a charming little grin, Edward sank into the driver's seat. "We won't make it anyway…so we might as well take advantage."

"What about the Volturi?" The last thing we needed to do was piss off Team Vampire: World Police, but his enthusiasm was getting contagious. Plus, I _was_ pretty thirsty.

"We'll get there. We're not breaking any rules."

"Right. Been there, done that, right?" I asked sardonically, raising a brow.

"Do you not want to hunt?" he returned bluntly.

"I do, but—"

"But, nothing. I'll take care of my mate over everything else. No vampire can fault me that — it's one of our most sacred laws."

And there he had to go being sweet again. "Edward," I whispered with a little smile. I placed my hand on his thigh and rubbed softly. "I'm sure I'll manage without a hunt."

"What if they offer you a human? Do you think you can refuse at this point?"

Thank goodness for my shield. I wasn't completely sure, to be honest. But I was never going to master my thirst if I never tested it. Right? "All I can do is try, Edward. I don't want to drink from humans. I think I can manage to keep from killing someone."

He looked at me for a long moment. Then he sighed and cranked the engine. Over the smooth purr of the car, he asked, "Why are you blocking me?"

Chagrined, I muttered, "I was shielding from Felix and just didn't turn it off."

"It's been almost an hour since then."

It sounded like he was accusing me of something, and I didn't like his tone. Pulling my hand from his leg, I snapped, "I'm sorry, but I didn't think it was your God-given right to hear my every private thought."

He looked hurt for a split second before his features hardened. "Okay. I hope you realize what you're getting yourself into."

"I'm fine."

Silence enveloped the car as he drove us toward the foothills. I stared out the window, obsessively focusing on what was surely some of the most beautiful scenery I'd ever witnessed in person, even if it was a dark, moonless night. Anything to ignore my tense - and intense - vampire chauffeur. We passed acre after acre of lush, green winding vineyards and golden, flowing fields. I was witnessing something I'd never even imagined as a human; my immortal eyes pierced the darkness as if it was merely a cloudy day.

Lowering the window, I took a deep breath. A cool, scented breeze whizzed by as Edward easily navigated the bends and curves of the hillside. The air smelled of earth and green life mixed with salt air and the slightest bit of Venetian canal. In spite of the last ingredient, it was a good smell. Hints of wine floated by, and the musk of new and different animals hung in the background.

My vampire nose enjoyed it all very much. Here, the smell of humans was less than it had been at the airport, but it still laced every breath I took. It was enough to cause a slight burn, like the annoying beginning of a sore throat when I'd been human. It wasn't anything I couldn't handle, and that surprised and pleased me.

Without looking at him, I placed a palm on Edward's thigh and let him read me. I smiled, looking straight ahead, hoping he'd relax. He laid a hand on mine and squeezed gently. Mouth curving, he pulled into a secluded turn-out just off the highway.

"We can go on foot from here," he murmured, getting out of the car and coming around to my side at vampire speed.

I accepted his help and climbed out of the low-riding vehicle. "Edward, I told you — we don't have to hunt —"

"We're going to. I know you need it." His voice was final. He towed me into the brush and surrounding forest, then pulled me over his back and ran like he used to when I was human.

I laughed and buried my face in the crook of his neck, holding tight to his back. I closed my eyes just like old times, enjoying the bite of the breeze on my cheeks as Edward sped through the trees. Seconds later, we stopped. I opened my eyes to find us at the edge of a pristine lake. The midnight-blue waters were like rippled glass.

"Look," Edward whispered, pointing at the opposite side. A lone stag sipped from the water that lapped at the shore. Large, bone-white antlers rose from his giant head like twisted candelabra, reflecting into the water below. It was getting chilly as the night grew later, and the stag's breath blew in white puffs that rippled the water. An alpine deer, he didn't look much different from the deer back home; maybe his fur had less of a reddish tint, the white tail a little less pronounced.

The wind shifted, bringing his scent my way. My throat was on fire. I growled lowly, and Edward backed off a little. "He's all yours," he said with a little smirk. "Just don't get wet. We wouldn't want to ruin the car's upholstery."

"But it's so much easier to cut through the lake," I whined, really putting effort into it.

Giving me a flat, amused look, he said, "Deal with it. You don't get tired."

I snorted. "I get tired of _you_," I joked.

He grinned and gave me a little push. "Liar."

I flicked his ear with my index finger and took off. "Maybe." He followed, but didn't catch me.

Jerk wasn't trying. He could at least make it close — we both knew he could catch me easily.

After the first few steps, I soon forgot about our game, completely focused on the hunt. The thirst took over, and the urge to hunt consumed me. I took the stag in a blur of speed, sending dried pine needles and crisp leaves flying as we landed on the bank of the lake. Hot, pungent blood dampened the burn in my throat. I lost myself to the feeling, letting it soothe my hunger.

But before I swallowed the second mouthful, I heard Edward cry out. Something was terribly, terribly wrong — his cry was a sound of immeasurable pain, worse than anything I'd ever heard — and it sent terror straight through me like lightning.

"Bella, run!" he bellowed, and then screamed again. I heard the creak of immortal flesh stretched to its limit, but I was already rushing toward the sound. How could he think I would run and abandon him? He was in danger!

I took down trees and brush as I raced through the forest, desperate to find my mate. I wasn't close enough to see what was happening, but I could definitely hear the child-like voice that filtered through the darkness.

"Now, Bella, I wouldn't run away if I were you. Your Edward will be fine, as long as you do exactly what I say…"

.

.

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* * *

_Uh-oh._

_I think I managed to respond to half the reviews... and then everyone in my house came down with the plague. Well, not literally the plague, but getting a cold in July sucks pretty hard. This is what I get for always saying I never get sick, and bragging that my baby made it to eleven months old without getting her first cold. I can't say that anymore. Damn._

_Okay... one or two chapters left. Depends on how big chapter 30 gets, and it's already over 9k. I think someone asked me (in one of those reviews I didn't get to) if I was a HEA girl. YES. Always. And I'll be better at responding to reviews – it's the least I can do when you all have been such awesome readers. Thank you so much._

_Look for chapter 30 next Thursday or Friday!_


	30. Avalanche Diode

**Sorry for the wait. Baby araeo turned 1 and I got overwhelmed. Plus this plot stuff is hard and stuff, okay? - That was my Miley impersonation. Did you get it?**

**Kristen Lynn cleans up the mess, and I'm forever grateful - cleaning is one of my least favorite things.**

**Thanks for putting up with my slow butt, guys.**

* * *

PREVIOUSLY...

_Something was terribly, terribly wrong — his cry was a sound of immeasurable pain, worse than anything I'd ever heard — and it sent terror straight through me like lightning._

_"Bella, run!" he bellowed, and then he screamed again. I heard the creak of immortal flesh stretched to its limit, but I was already rushing toward the sound. How could he think I would run and abandon him? He was in danger!_

_I took down trees and brush as I raced through the forest, desperate to find my mate. I wasn't close enough to see what was happening, but I could definitely hear the child-like voice that filtered through the darkness._

_"Now, Bella, I wouldn't run away if I were you. Your Edward will be fine, as long as you do exactly what I say…"_

_._

_._

_._

* * *

**- Chapter 30: Avalanche Diode -**

The voice was high-pitched. It might have been sweet, if not for the malice that lay beneath the simple words.

_Like I'd run, bitch. I'll run after I kick your ass._

Terrified, yet filled with a red-hot fury, I raced toward the sounds of struggling, whipping through the trees with little thought to the fragile branches that slapped my body as I sped past. I stopped in a whirl of musty, dried leaves, skidding on the forest floor as I reached the edge of the woods that surrounded the lake.

Two vampires — one of them Felix the Creeper — held Edward's arms behind his back, and they weren't being gentle. I sucked in a shocked breath when I realized the other vampire was Demitri, the tracker. The tiny young woman who had called to me stood off to the side, burning my mate with invisible flames. _That's_ _Jane_. _The queen bitch to end all queen bitches_.

Carnage surrounded the four of them — splintered trees lay scattered haphazardly around deep gouges in the earth. Edward had put up an awesome fight, but he hadn't been able to fight off three others, one of which had the ability to cause excruciating pain.

"Let him go!" I growled, feeling the primitive side of me try to take over. I knew that couldn't happen if I was to keep my promise to Edward — to guard my life above all else — so I held it back with all my strength.

"We will," Jane said lightly, as if this whole situation was the most amusing thing ever. She turned her fiery gaze back on Edward, and he thrashed about in agony, wrenching his arms even more. His shoulder creaked, stretched to its limit. Jane suddenly stopped her laser death ray at the same time as the others released him. Edward dropped to the ground in a heap as they stepped back.

I knelt at his side milliseconds later, crouching over him protectively. My eyes darted from enemy to enemy and then back to Edward. "Are you okay?" I asked, almost physically hurting for him.

His face was crumpled in pain as he slowly rotated his shoulders. I could hear the tendons pulling as his venom tried to knit them back together. Slowly, he rose to his feet, glaring at Demitri and Felix the whole time. I stood beside him, positioning myself slightly in front of my injured mate. I was just itching to try out my new fighting skills.

"I'll heal in a few seconds," he gritted out, grabbing me and pulling my body behind his.

I growled in frustration. "Edward! No! You're hurt."

"How sweetly they bicker," Felix drawled sardonically, sending creepy shivers down my spine.

"You son of a bitch!" Edward barked suddenly, taking a step toward him.

_Oh, no_. He was reading Felix's probably disgusting thoughts. I grabbed Edward's hand and let him into my head, effectively shutting out the thoughts of the guard members.

"No, Bella — we need —" He cut himself off.

I knew he was protesting not being able to use their thoughts to anticipate any moves they might make, but I'd take that chance right now. The last thing I needed was for Edward to get hurt even more because some A-hole was thinking rude thoughts about me.

Plus, I'd greatly improved in the vampire combat department thanks to my sessions with the Cullens. I could defend myself now; I was confident I could hold my own in a one-on-one fight, maybe two-on-one. That was the only problem. With three to one odds, it didn't look good. And that's what it would be until Edward healed. We needed to stall.

"Why are you here?" I demanded through clenched teeth.

"Aro doesn't like to be kept waiting," Jane answered, sounding bored.

"Yeah, we already heard that from Tweedle Dum over there," I shot back, pointing at Felix. He scowled in my direction, while Demitri smirked at my jab. "I needed to hunt, so we stopped. Doesn't mean we weren't coming." Damn, I sounded like a petulant teen. "Why were you manhandling Edward?"

"He struggled," she said simply. _Geez. This chick's personality __i__s flatter than Kansas_.

"I thought we weren't prisoners," I stated angrily. I felt Edward relax, finally, and I closed myself off from him. Aside I whispered, "Behave."

He nodded, glaring ice chips at the others.

"You're not. We were sent to fetch you, and we have," Jane said, bland as ever. "So let's get on with it and return to Volterra."

"What about our car?" I snapped, grasping at anything in order to stall whatever these guys had planned.

"We'll retrieve it for you, Isabella," Demitri offered, pronouncing my full name with an Italian inflection.

"It's Bella." I couldn't keep the curt tone out of my voice.

"If you don't mind, we've been inconvenienced enough," Edward said, eyes flashing with anger. "_We _will retrieve our car, then we'll meet you in the city. I know where to go." He stepped in front of me, shoulders squared challengingly, appearing stronger than ever.

Two to three odds weren't bad…and Jane was just half a vampire, really. Chick was shorter than Alice, for God's sake. And she didn't know I could keep her from frying Edward and myself.

Or that we could disappear.

Edward squeezed my hand hard, warning in his eyes. I had no idea how he knew what I was thinking, but it didn't matter. If he didn't think it was a good idea, I wouldn't try it. Yet.

"_If you don't mind,_" Jane mimicked flatly, "we'd rather escort you on foot."

"You can still escort the car. Run alongside. I'm not losing that damned car or my deposit, and no one is driving it but me!"

It seemed so mundane that Edward didn't want anyone else touching his toy, and I did something really inappropriate — I giggled. Felix and Demitri smirked, while Jane just stood there like a statue — surprise surprise. Edward cast me a withering glance.

"Sorry," I whispered, covering my mouth with my free hand.

Barely concealing a smile, Demitri nodded. "Please remember, your presence is desired immediately. We shall escort the car to Volterra."

"So we're agreed? No more surprises?" Edward asked in exasperation, piercing every one of them with a death glare. It was rare, to see him get that mad. It had only happened once before — and that was after I almost got myself killed by Heidi.

"No more surprises," Jane agreed, sighing, like it was a really hard concession for her to make.

Even as the three of them disappeared into the woods, I knew it was a lie.

"You were really great back there," Edward murmured, keeping his eyes on the road as we sped toward the city. "Taking charge like it was second nature…I'm impressed." He smiled absently. "You were magnificent, actually."

"Thanks." I swallowed hard, drinking in the handsome sight of his profile as he drove. "I was really scared, you know — when I heard you scream."

Edward downshifted through a hairpin turn; the tires protested, and a trace of burning rubber spiked the air. A smirk creased one side of his mouth. "Why, did I scream like a girl?"

"Hey," I said, frowning. "Please don't joke. What happened?"

The smile evaporated from his face. "I wasn't paying enough attention to my surroundings. Aro must have warned them about me, because I couldn't hear their thoughts until it was too late." Sighing, he said, "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Sometimes, I really didn't understand him.

"I should have been more careful. I put you in danger, _again_. Do I need more reasons?" Obviously frustrated with himself, he rubbed the back of his neck and scowled straight ahead.

I reached up and took his hand, lacing our fingers together and bringing them down to rest on the gear shift between us. "I didn't hear them coming. Are you blaming me, too?"

"Of course not!" His voice rose in the small confines of the car. "Why would you think that?"

"Maybe if I'd been paying attention, I could have warned you."

"You were hunting. You're barely more than a fledgling and can't be expected to focus on much but your prey. I was the lookout. I should have been more vigilant."

"Since when did all these rules apply to hunting? Are you saying I can't hunt without an escort? I can't do anything for myself? Do I need a babysitter?" I was getting super annoyed by this point.

"No…I…shit, I can't talk my way out of this one, can I?" he asked sheepishly.

"No. Don't you see? You can't plot out everything in life. Just like the bumper sticker says, shit happens."

Edward choked back a laugh. "How redneck of you."

"Come on, like you never saw one of those stickers."

"Yes — two decades ago. When I visited certain rural areas of the United States."

"You're such a snob," I accused, fighting back a smile.

He shrugged and cast me a pouting look. "But I'm _your _snob, right?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah," I agreed softly, smiling to myself.

_I just hope I get to keep him_.

**-x-**

Dawn broke over the old-world buildings as we entered the stone walls of Volterra. Flags of all sizes hung everywhere, bathing the rock and stucco in rich, bright crimson. The banners lent the city a terrible kind of beauty, slashing across the light-colored stone, spilling from the crevices like rivulets of blood in the bluish light of morning.

Edward saw me staring and spoke. "It's the Festival of St. Marcus," he explained. "A celebration of the day all the vampires were driven out of the city." A wry smile played at his lips. "The humans all wear red cloaks and masks to commemorate the day they were all saved."

"That's…interesting."

"It works out well. The humans aren't suspicious, and it generates plenty of tourism…"

"Which means plenty of food," I supplied.

"Exactly."

We fell silent and I turned to the window once again. Humans were beginning to stir, venturing from doorsteps to store fronts in preparation for the day ahead. Some even dressed as Edward described, draped in blood-red velvet.

The roads turned to cobblestone and narrowed to barely navigable as we neared the city center. I caught a glimpse of a clock tower, heard the tinkle of water in the large fountain in the middle of the grand square below it.

Edward turned the car down a ramp that didn't belong with the old world architecture of the castle and surrounding city. No lamps lit the way as we drove underground — we didn't need the illumination. Edward flipped off the headlights as we descended into the damp, rock-walled parking structure. Recently human as I was, it creeped me out to drive underground with no lights whatsoever, but I kept my mouth shut. Edward was the more experienced one here, and if it made him comfortable to go in stealth, we'd go in stealth.

He parked on what seemed like the very bottom of the structure. Edward came around and helped me out of the low-slung sports car. Even in the midst of all that was going on, he still took the time to do the little things that meant so much to me. I took his hand and squeezed as we headed off toward a dimly-lit EXIT sign.

Jane, Demitri and Felix materialized out of the darkness as Edward and I reached the bank of elevators at the end of the garage. When the car came, we stood there in awkward silence like we'd all just farted between floors. After what seemed like forever, the doors slid open and Jane slipped out first, snapping her fingers to get us all to follow. I rolled my eyes, making Edward's lips twitch in a half-smile. We all followed her anyway, matching her brisk pace as she headed deeper into the castle proper.

Flame-lit candelabra lined the walls, which were draped in sumptuous, violet velvet and trimmed with gold tassels. _That's a fire hazard if I've ever seen one_…

The whole effect was very vampire-Liberace.

Someone either had a great sense of humor or very bad taste. I was betting on the latter.

However, there was no mistaking the age of the place. It was all very surreal, being in an ancient castle that's likely younger than some of its inhabitants. At the same time, I knew this was it — the moment on which my entire existence hinged.

And I wasn't ready.

That didn't matter as we came upon two huge, jewel-encrusted wooden doors that must have weighed a few hundred pounds apiece. There was no way a human could have budged them. That was probably the point. Once they were in, there was no getting out.

Creepy.

This was the place where my future would be decided. It wasn't a comforting realization.

Jane flicked both doors open like they were made of paper and stalked inside as if she owned the place. Two plain-looking vampires in black cloaks rushed forward to hold the doors open, inviting the rest of us to pass. We entered a wide, circular room with silver-veined marble walls. Glittering mosaic tile lined the floors, designed in a scrolling cross that spanned the entire room. In the center sat three thrones made of shining ebony. Golden sunbursts topped each one, lending a haloed effect to the three men sitting there.

Wow. Thrones. With halos. _The egos on these guys.._.

I clutched Edward's hand tightly as the doors closed behind us. He pulled me a little closer to his side, until our joined hands were sandwiched between us.

"I found your wayward guests, Master Aro," Jane said, her voice finally showing some life. Her eyes lit up and a sweet, almost innocent smile curved her red lips. Was that what her life was reduced to — vying for any stray speck of attention from His Highness? I almost felt sorry for her.

"Thank you, Jane," the man in the center answered, standing. Aro was a waif of a man, slim and slight, like he'd been stretched taller as an afterthought. His skin was translucent white, and so pale that I wondered if he could even pass for a human — a live one, that is. Shoulder-length, shiny raven hair spilled from a part right smack in the middle of his head, straight out of the sixties. He wore a black cape over an all-black suit, and some kind of gold medallion hung around his neck.

Who the hell wears a cape and a medallion?

_Dracula, that's who_.

Or maybe… Vampire Liberace himself.

How did this buffoon manage to keep vampire kind under his iron fist?

"Welcome home, Edward," he said, opening his arms wide, like he expected Edward to play the role of his prodigal son. "Still stubborn as ever," he mumbled under his breath when Edward didn't move. He then turned to me with an oily smile. "And I see you've brought your lovely bride." He eyed me up and down, then licked his lips as if I was standing before him on a stage, wearing nothing but cheap body spray, glitter, a g-string, and a pair of Lucite platforms. Oh, and don't forget the stripper pole.

A growl rumbled in Edward's chest, and his hand tightened on mine.

"Edward," I murmured, trying to distract him from Aro's thoughts. I let him in for a second, knowing we couldn't afford to be without his gift for long. _Ignore him. Please. It's not worth it to piss him off. Do you want him to know about your gift?_ I knew he didn't, and felt him relax just a bit in response.

Aro watched the exchange curiously, his ruby-colored eyes missing nothing. He tilted his head to one side and murmured, "How sweet they are."

"Get on with it, Aro," one of the other ancient vampires muttered from his seat on the dais, rolling his eyes. White-blond hair crowned his head, and though he wore a more modern suit than Aro, he still sported what must be the _it_ accessory for the Volturi kings — that damned ugly medallion.

"You always spoil my fun, Caius," Aro complained with a little sigh.

"You'd never get around to the point of anything if I didn't," Caius retorted, tapping his fingers on the arms of his gaudy throne.

Aro ignored the last jab and focused his attention back on me. "Tell me, young one — are you thirsty? I understand your last hunt was…interrupted," he said with a smirk.

Jane giggled behind me, sounding like a demented child. "She does look a little…peckish, Master Aro."

I really, _really_ wanted to punch that overgrown American Girl doll in the throat.

"I'm not hungry," I answered quickly, though my throat still burned with thirst.

"Are you sure? Your eyes do appear a little dark, my dear," he persisted, giving me a condescending look.

Like I couldn't control my thirst. Like I was still a newborn.

Okay, so technically I _was_, but I was no longer so easily tempted.

Edward stepped in. "We'll hunt later, if that's all right with you, Aro."

Aro placed a finger to his lips, a pensive expression creasing his papery brow. "I don't see why we should wait. I'm thirsty too, after all. And I'm sure the rest of us are quite parched as well." He gestured to the vampires at large, who all offered sinister smiles as they murmured their assent.

The only one that didn't respond was the last Volturi brother, who remained silent. By process of elimination, I knew he was Marcus. I could see that he had the same abysmal taste in clothing and accessories as his brothers. What I didn't know was whether or not Edward and I could count on him to be on our side. He simply regarded us with flat, glazed-over eyes that missed nothing. Eyes that spoke of hopelessness. Desolation.

They were the most terrifying things in the room. Yeah, I wasn't going to count on that guy.

Dread coiled in my gut like an icy tendril of acid that ate at my insides. I felt as if I'd swallowed a chunk of dry ice. Venom trickled into my mouth; whether it was a fight-or-flight response or actual thirst, I wasn't sure.

Aro clapped briskly, the sound echoing throughout the cavernous room. A grotesque, sinuous semblance of a smile bent his thin lips, sending a chill down my spine. "Open the doors," he commanded, flinging his arms out in a gesture reminiscent of a circus ring-master.

Two vampires scurried like worker ants to do his bidding, hauling open the doors. A tall, sable-haired vampire sauntered into the room, smirking.

"It's bad form to keep our guests waiting, Aro. They're simply _dying_ for the tour." The new vampire's skin was dark, yet tinged with an ashy paleness, like coffee with a touch too much cream. She brought with her a trail of tourists, complete with fanny-packs and Hard Rock Cafe: Volterra t-shirts.

_Does this place even have a Hard Rock Cafe? _

That was the only thought that made it through my head before the scent assaulted me, searing through my nostrils and incinerating my throat. The wet thump of several heartbeats echoed in my ears, so loud I wanted to cringe.

_Lub-dub. Lub-dub._ _Lub-dub. _

I tensed to spring, the trickle of venom turning into a flood that washed over my tongue like lava.

Edward clamped his arms around me like iron bars as he snarled, "What are you _doing,_ Aro?"

Vampire Liberace laughed, high-pitched and grating, like some kind of mad scientist maniac. "I'm simply being hospitable," he crowed, "I thought we could all use a snack." He turned back to the newcomer. "Bring them in, bring them _in,_ Zafrina!" He clapped his hands again.

My eyes darted all over the room, from Edward to Aro to all the black cloaked minions.

To the tourists — the _humans._

They milled about and watched with curiosity — some anticipatory, some apathetically, but all casually — like they were about to watch that huge fountain show at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. Like it was all part of the tour. Like they couldn't even see us. Then I realized they _couldn't. _Zafrina could make anyone see exactly what she wanted them to see. And that thought triggered another, infinitely worse memory.

_Edward used to do this with Heidi._

I felt sick.

And yet… I was so _thirsty._

A snarl erupted from deep inside my chest as I caught the scent, like sweet, rich chocolate spiked with exotic spice. What my instincts demanded horrified my mind. I knew I didn't want this — didn't want to be a murderer. Cutting off all breath, I began to tremble.

"Edward…" My voice was a strangled whimper, breaking under the tenuous grip I held over my suddenly ravenous body.

He pressed his lips to my ear and spoke quietly. "Hang on, Bella. Just hang on."

My control was crumbling. "I don't know if I can."

"Young Edward, are you denying your mate when she is so clearly famished?" Aro made a _tsk_ sound and moved at vampire speed toward the tourists, drawing gasps of horror from the humans when he suddenly appeared in front of them.

Edward's voice bordered on a growl. "She chooses to abstain. Please respect her decision."

Even through the haze of bloodlust, I heard something in his voice that had me alarmed: he was afraid. I took that fear and used it to shore myself up. Told myself I would stay strong. I'd show Edward that I _could_ do it.

_Please don't let me make a liar of myself_, I thought fleetingly, just as Aro spoke again.

"Well then," he sighed, giving the effect that he regretted what he was about to do. But then he ruined it with a cruel smile that sent a shiver skittering over the back of my neck. "I suppose we'll simply have leftovers." He shook his head, and this time I believed his remorse. "It's a shame. They never do keep well."

As soon as the last word was out of his mouth, he snatched a well-dressed woman from the crowd and sunk his teeth into her neck.

And then the screaming began.

My own cries were lost in the midst of the shrieks of surprise and howls of terror that rose up to the cavernous ceiling, echoing and bouncing off marble that grew slick with blood.

_So. Much. Blood._

It flew, bright and bold, painting everything in its path with grisly stripes and splatters. My eyes caught every drop in slow-motion, followed every arc of arterial spray, lovingly traced every meandering, red rivulet.

And the _scent_…

It was the essence of sweet wine, laced with the dark, sultry edge of fear… It was an aroma so very bright I could have sworn it was visible — like golden, glowing curls of fragrant smoke in the air.

I could almost taste it.

I was breathing again without my knowledge. My body wasn't my own — as if I was simply a remote-controlled robot, and I wasn't the one manning the controls. I couldn't make myself stop dragging in each delicious lungful.

And I understood. I understood what I wanted — no, what I _needed. _The rich, decadent scents of blood and terror seduced me, called to me… spoke to every cell in my body. Every note struck a blissful chord somewhere deep inside, and I wasn't sure I could keep myself from reveling in what was sure to be a perfect feast for all my senses.

_Why shouldn't I partake?_

It was the worst kind of peer pressure — and everyone else was doing it. The red haze coating the room was proof of that.

As were the screams. Oh God, the _screams._

"Stay with me, Bella." Edward's voice in my ear was like being doused with icy Gatorade.

I snorted internally at the mental picture. If I was the coach of this team from hell, we were all in trouble.

On the outside, however, I knew I resembled a ravenous beast — with my black, wild eyes and the primitive, animalistic growls that rumbled in my chest, I could probably scare off a grizzly bear. But Edward's voice helped to ground me in those moments when I wasn't sure I'd make it. When I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep myself from draining all those fragile little humans.

"Don't look," he whispered, trying to turn me toward him.

But I couldn't — or wouldn't — move. "I don't want to… but I can't stop." My voice was weak, broken, uttered through vocal cords burning with thirst and slick with venom.

I gasped as the Amazon woman — Zafrina — grabbed a child and sank her teeth into his neck. Wild, innocent blue eyes locked with mine, radiating pain and terror. I ripped myself from Edward's grasp, desperate to help, desperate to feel something besides the terrible, horrible thirst.

He stayed right behind me, his speed allowing him to snag me around the waist. "You can't help him; it's too late," Edward said into my ear, wrapping himself around my body and using his weight to hold me back.

Chaos whirled all around us, blood and gore painting everything in its path. The scariest thing? A huge part of me wanted to join in. Wanted to embrace my nature, indulge in my natural instincts. And it was growing larger by the second.

I turned into Edward's body, burying my face in his neck, clinging to his shoulders. Dry sobs caught in my throat, making me feel like I was suffocating. I wanted to be anywhere but here. Even the solidity of his arms wasn't enough to ground me.

I screwed my eyes shut, as if the world around me wouldn't exist as long as I didn't acknowledge it. Moments stretched into what seemed like hours, and yet the chaos still raged.

Until it didn't.

A vacuum of silence filled the chamber, enveloping every last echo of every fading whimper and scream, until they all disappeared, like they'd never even existed. I didn't know how long I stood there, crying nonexistent, silent tears into Edward's neck.

"They're gone," someone whispered in disbelief. I think it was Caius.

"How could they simply disappear?" Aro, likely just to hear his own voice.

"Shall I retrieve them, Master?" Jane. The sycophant, desperate to demonstrate her worth.

"But where could they have gone?" Felix. The muscle who would be blamed for any escapes.

I opened my eyes, leaving my face buried against Edward's neck as it hit me.

They couldn't see us. And unless we could get out of here undetected, I'd gone and done the worst thing possible — shown Aro my power.

Lifting my head, I met his eyes in panic. _I'm so sorry,_ I thought to Edward. _I didn't know!_

He shook his head slightly, and I wished like hell I could read his mind.

_What do we do? Can we make it out of here without getting caught?_

Again, he shook his head, before inclining it toward Marcus. I looked over to find him staring right at us.

_He sees us?_

_Our connection, _he mouthed. _He knows we're still here._

I closed my eyes in resignation, sighing before I met Edward's gaze once again.

_There's no getting out of this._

He shook his head again, cupping my cheek with a gentle hand. We waited, drinking each other in, preparing for the onslaught.

But Marcus said nothing, just kept watching, like a stone gargoyle.

I grabbed Edward's hand and squeezed. _Can we make it out of here?_

He shook his head, eyes darting toward the huge, wooden doors.

They were the only way out, and there was no way we'd be able to open them without being noticed. Even if we were able to escape the castle, Demitri would track us. We had to face them all, here and now.

Gathering up what little courage I could muster, I turned to face the dais. Keeping a tight hold on Edward's hand, I consciously lifted my shield.

Aro's eyes immediately shot to us. A high-pitched, maniacal laugh echoed throughout the chamber. His eyes positively danced with amusement — and avarice.

"She's a shield…" More of that crazy-ass laughter. "Oh, such promise you show!" Aro marveled, clasping his hands together in a disturbing caricature of greed and excitement.

As freakish as the guy was, he was equally terrifying. And it pissed me off that I was afraid of him.

With those glittering, blood-red eyes and pupils like black holes, he was every bit the monster. This was the vampire that wanted — no, _needed _— control over the rest of us.

I shook, standing there unable to do much but glare at him.

I just couldn't understand why _I_ mattered so much in the grand scheme of things. I wasn't a threat. Power was something I neither craved nor wanted. I was content to live my life in my own corner of the world, with the one person who mattered. I had no designs on world domination beyond laughing at old episodes of _Pinky and The Brain_ while Edward and I cuddled on the couch.

This vampire could decide to take all of that away from me.

I would do anything to make sure that didn't happen.

The glint in his eyes turned positively ravenous. It was even worse than the black-eyed madness of bloodlust. I knew Aro was in his position due to his hunger for power, his desire for yet another player in the chess game that made up his megalomaniacal fantasies.

"Let's get on with it, Aro," Caius drawled, looking bored. "The rest of us do not share your love for beating around the bush. I believe young Mr. Cullen has broken our laws and that must be remedied, in one way or the other."

It still blew my mind that they considered Edward, at just over a _century_ old, the young one. They must view me as positively infantile — and I might be able to turn that to my advantage.

"We so rarely get entertainment here in this ancient city, Caius." Aro threw him a pouting look as he dabbed blood from the pale white skin of his hands. He reminded me of a cat grooming himself after a satisfying meal — one you didn't quite trust not to swipe at your ankles when you walked by. "Forgive me for trying to provide a bit of amusement for our guests."

"For some reason," Caius observed dryly, "I don't think our guests are nearly as amused as you are."

Aro swept his hands around the room. "Are you not entertained?"

Somehow, my bionic vampire brain had the capacity to wonder if he'd deliberately stolen that line from _Gladiator_. Probably made him nostalgic for the good ol' days, back when he was only a couple centuries old. Ancient bastard.

Met with flat stares from Caius and Marcus, and enthusiastic nods from the rest of the guard, Aro put a finger to his chin and focused that eerie gaze back on the two of us. "What to do, what to do," he mused.

I had a few suggestions, but somehow I knew that voicing them wouldn't be wise.

Finally, he turned to face the guard, spreading out his arms. "Edward Cullen has broken our most fundamental law — he has brought unwanted attention to our kind." Aro's voice was cold and precise, and filled me with an icy dread that coated my insides like brittle glass.

"It was inadvertent, and only to save my mate," Edward responded with a sureness in his voice that I couldn't even bring myself to believe in.

I wanted it too badly, but letting myself hope could destroy everything. I had to be prepared — to defend, to manipulate… to go down fighting.

"There are other ways, Young Edward," Aro returned, his voice going gentle, yet still laced with reprimand.

Here was where he'd trap us. Try to trip us up, make sure we incriminated ourselves so thoroughly there was no escape.

Of course, both Edward and I knew there had been no other way. That snap decision was fated as soon as it crossed his mind. As a mated vampire, his instincts wouldn't allow him to do anything else but save his other half.

Jaw stiff and fists clenched, Edward bit out, "She was _dying_."

Our eyes met for a moment, just long enough for me to see exactly what I needed in his glance. His determination, his complete and utter confidence in _us_, gave me a much-needed shot of strength.

Edward turned back to Aro. "I didn't think about the consequences; the only thing I could do was save her. Believe me, it's not something I plan on repeating. We can contain the incident — already the story is all but forgotten. I promise you — you will hear of no more trouble from us. Exposure is the last thing any of us want."

I closed my eyes for a moment, picturing my parents. The story _was _forgotten — to everyone but them. But now was not the time. Squeezing Edward's hand, I once again fixed my gaze on Aro.

"You ask for leniency?" Aro's brows raised, as if he was surprised.

The dude really was a few springs short of a cuckoo clock.

"Yes," I finally blurted out, too frustrated to keep it in. "At the risk of sounding incredibly clichéd, we really don't want any trouble! We just want to live our lives, together."

"You're living with a rather large coven," Aro began doubtfully, shrugging. "Aside from this one, covens of that size are practically nonexistent. So many of us in one place is bound to attract attention." He laughed, a sound that was both condescending and a little mad.

Surely this nest of crazies had a bigger chance of attracting the attention of humans than the Cullens did. But I wasn't about to voice that doubt. I wasn't that stupid.

"What reason would you have to gather together, if not for the strength in numbers?" he continued, tapping his finger against his chin as if he were deep in thought.

"Because we're friends," Edward said, and when he spoke again his voice was quieter. "A family…of sorts."

I had to fight to keep the surprise from showing on my face. To hear Edward claim them as family was pretty big, though I had no way of knowing if he truly meant it or was just trying to be convincing.

"A family…" Aro echoed. "How novel. Our dear friend Carlisle always was the sentimental sort."

The not-quite-stifled snark that lived within me fleetingly wondered if he really spoke that way all the time. Did the guy think he was living in a Gothic novel?

"So you wish to remain with your _family," _Aro continued, sighing. "Such a shame. We could use a man of your talents here in Volterra. And your lovely mate… she is a rare gem among us. Such heights she could achieve in our ranks."

Jane scowled at me as soon as the words left Aro's mouth. I met her gaze head-on, raising a brow.

_Go ahead and try to fry me, bitch. I'll sneak up behind you and kick your Disney Princess Ass._

Satisfied with the bitch glare I just gave Jane, I turned back to Aro. "I'm not looking for power, Aro. I am a newborn, and I miss my human life. I don't want to dive headlong into all this vampire intrigue. I'm sure it's a foreign concept to all of you," I continued, gesturing to the room at large, "but not everybody wants to rule the world — no matter what Tears For Fears says. I'm lazy. I just want to sit on the couch and watch cartoons."

"Oh, Christ," Edward muttered, shaking his head as he fought a grin.

"And maybe read a few books," I added with a shrug.

Jane stared at me like I was some kind of freak, while Aro's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Caius glared, expression full of doubt.

"Do you care to prove it?" Aro questioned, giving me a dubious look.

"Of course," I answered, without even thinking.

When Aro smiled that smarmy, know-it-all smile, I knew I'd made a mistake. Edward sucked in a harsh breath and went rigid, squeezing my hand.

"Jane," Aro purred, "won't you please retrieve our dinner guest?"

.

.

.

* * *

Still working on the last half of the chapter formerly known as No. 30. It was all one huge 10k+ doc, but I had to keep that monster from getting out of hand. It seemed to fit well to end it here. I'm about 2/3 done with the next one! We're nearing the end!


	31. Chapter 31

_Hey there. Long time no update. I know. You want to throw things at me. _

_This chapter is brought to you by KristenLynn. It was a mess when it landed in her inbox. Best beta ever._

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**Previously: Edward and Bella survived a good, old-fashioned Volterra bloodbath buffet. But Aro has more surprises in store...**

.

_Jane stared at me like I was some kind of freak, while Aro's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Caius glared, expression full of doubt. _

_"Do you care to prove it?" Aro questioned, giving me a dubious look._

_"Of course," I answered, without even thinking. _

_When Aro smiled that smarmy, know-it-all smile, I knew I'd made a mistake. Edward sucked in a harsh breath and went rigid, squeezing my hand._

_"Jane," Aro purred, "won't you please retrieve our dinner guest?"_

_._

_._

_._

* * *

**-Chapter 31-**

_Dinner guest? Gluttons. Where ever did they put it all?_

I had to take this thing lightly. There was no way I'd survive it otherwise. Vampire Xanax or voodoo magic couldn't even begin to calm me down at this point. Whatever these weirdos had in mind, it wasn't gonna be great for Edward and me.

"Of course, Master Aro," Jane replied with a saccharine smile.

She rushed off to do his bidding, but before she even left the room, Edward stepped forward, glaring at Aro.

"You can't do that," he grated, real fear in his eyes.

Aro snapped his gaze to Edward. "I can do whatever I like. And I'm afraid I must insist that you don't ruin the surprise I have for our little Bella." Voice hard and eyes even harder, he flicked a hand in our direction. "Alec, Felix…"

Another vampire materialized out of the crowd; his cold, black eyes locked on Edward, who froze under the weight of that glacial stare. Felix grabbed Edward around the neck and roughly pushed him to his knees. Marble tiles cracked beneath the impact, the sharp sound echoing throughout the room.

"Stop it!" I screamed, clawing at Felix's meaty forearms, trying to pry him away from my mate, but even my fading newborn strength was no match for the guard's brutish power.

"What would you do to make him stop, little one?" Aro questioned, appearing by my side. "Would it be so bad, staying here with us? Even if this one refuses to join us, you and your talents are always welcome here."

I couldn't help the gasp that tightened my chest. A life without Edward stretched out before me, barren and empty, forever left alone with my only memories of him.

No — I'd do anything to make sure he was safe. I'd just opened my mouth to reply when there was a soft, yet commanding voice off to the side.

"Aro." It was Marcus. In a voice that sounded rough with disuse, he continued, "You know this will not work. Separate, they'll be no more useful than a wet match."

Aro sighed. "Marcus, we've discussed this already. The decision is made."

"That was before," he intoned, his mouth compressing into a thin line. "Now that I've seen them…it will not work."

Shooting the other vampire a look of sheer disdain, Aro challenged, "I don't see why we can't go ahead with our original plan."

"Their bond," Marcus answered, his eyes black with pain and secrets so dark they'd never be brought to light. "I've never seen anything like it. They would never be as loyal to you as they are to each other."

I knew Marcus's talent allowed him to see the connections between vampires. He could literally see where one's loyalties belonged.

Aro chuffed, a sound of almost petulant displeasure. "Something must be done, or others will think nothing of challenging those rules we hold sacred. It's been a while since we made an example of someone. Perhaps we all need a reminder that the rules must be followed. Are we to send him on his way with but a slap on the wrist?"

Marcus frowned disapprovingly at Aro. "You'll be sentencing her as well. Are we so inflexible that we'll punish an innocent, _talented _young vampire by destroying her mate? His infraction has been contained, and you know it."

Aro was silent for several long moments, lips puckering like he'd sampled something sour. "Very well." He looked toward the open doors, where Jane waited, holding a leather leash that disappeared into the darkness behind her. "But the loose end must be severed here. Bring him forward, Jane."

Happily, she gave a little tug on the cord and a body flew into the room, landing at her feet. A pained groan slipped from the heap on the floor, bringing an evil smile to her smug little face.

"Now, now," she cooed, leaning down to place a hand on the man's head. He jerked away from her touch, his entire body trembling. "Is that any way to thank me for getting you out of that nasty, dark cell?"

She received no response, but I wasn't sure she was really looking for one. It was a taunt, plain and simple. With a jolt, I realized that the cowering form was Tyler, tethered with a choke chain and leather leash. He raised his head and scanned the room, his eyes landing on me and locking there.

"B-Bella? You're alive?"

Despite the way we'd ended things, I'd never felt as sorry for another person as I did in that moment. There was nothing to be done for Tyler. Though he wasn't my favorite person, especially after the trouble he'd caused, I'd never wish something like this for him.

"It's me," I answered, not really sure if he was looking for an answer. If there was ever a time to ask rhetorical questions, it was when you were trapped in a room full of bloodsucking undead, right?

"You look… _different."_

I didn't know what to say, so I just shrugged. There wasn't any rational explanation that would make him feel better.

As his eyes scanned the room, Tyler caught sight of Edward and scowled. "I just fucking _knew _there was something off about that freak," he spat, staring daggers at us.

"I'm not sure now's the time to be running your mouth, Tyler." I crossed my arms over my chest and scowled down at him.

Caius chose that moment to chime in. "Yes, _human._ Now would not be the time to 'run your mouth.'" An evil, brittle smile curved his lips. "Unless it's to scream," he added with a wicked chuckle worthy of a gothic movie.

Skin blanching pale, Tyler lurched to his feet and started toward me, stopping only when he reached the end of the leash around his neck. "What is this? What's happening here? What's going on, Bella?" He was babbling.

"Yes, young Bella, why don't you tell him what is going on here?" Aro's smile grew more sickly by the second.

I closed my eyes, trying to block out the reality of what had to happen. "You really don't want to know, Tyler."

"Why should she tell you, when she can show you?" A dry cackle followed Aro's taunt, and it was then I knew — it would be my job to take care of the problem. Turning his cold, speculating gaze toward me, he asked, "You wish to make amends for your mate's mistake, Bella?"

I could only nod woodenly, knowing what came next.

"Then we must take care of the loose end," Aro commanded, his voice ringing with finality. "No human can know our secret and remain alive." A wide grin spread across his papery lips.

He thought I couldn't do it. Hell, _I_ wasn't sure I could do it. But I'd damn well try. I'd have to be careful, though...

Controlling myself during the massacre earlier should have been impossible. I knew Aro expected me to cave. I _was_ nearly drained after the massive effort it had taken to ignore all that blood flowing and flying around me; it had taken every last bit of my will to keep from giving in to the monster that raged inside me. But at this point, there was no way I'd be able to stop if I tasted even one drop of Tyler's blood. He was doomed no matter what I chose to do, but I'd have to make damn sure I did it in a bloodless, humane way.

"Secret? I don't know any secret!" Tyler stuttered, straining against his leather bindings. Jane grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, forcing him to his knees. Wisely, he shut up.

"But I'm afraid you do… and there's only one way to ensure your silence," Aro intoned, the finality of his words ringing in my ears. Turning to Edward and me, he continued, "It is the only way. Our secret must be kept. Edward, you have already failed once to guard that secret, even if it was to save your mate."

Addressing the rest of the guard and court, he continued, "Noble as they are, his actions cannot go unpunished." His eyes shot to me, hot and direct, like high-powered lasers. "But for talent such as yours, Bella, we shall offer a compromise: join us, and we'll take care of the problem for you."

He had on his best benevolent master face. But to me, he just looked like a bad wax sculpture. I had to fight not to shiver at the sheer avarice in his tone. Aro wanted one thing, and I'd practically handed it to him on a silver platter. By tipping my hand earlier, I might have condemned Edward and me both.

"Bella has done nothing wrong, Aro," Marcus warned. "You may invite her to stay, but you have no grounds to force her. Edward, however, is a different story. But even then, once the loose end is snipped, your hold on him is moot. Our secret is safe."

Aro ground his teeth. "And you are not willing to join us, dear Bella?"

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I answered, "I'm sorry, Aro… but no. I want nothing to do with these power plays. I've been lucky enough to find my forever…" glancing at Edward, I smiled gently. "And that's all I need. I won't join your guard, but I also won't stand against you."

"There's a heavy price to pay for your little happily ever after," Aro said. "Is it too high? What would you do for eternity with your mate?"

"Anything." I didn't fight and claw my way to happiness in this life just to toss it all away. "My place is with Edward."

"Of course, Edward is welcome as well. We could make much use of both your talents."

_This is what he wanted all along. Both of us, doing his bidding like good little puppets._

"And if I take care of it myself?" I challenged. "Will you let us go?"

"Bella, no!" Edward choked out, struggling against Felix's grip, but I shook my head.

_Back off,_ I warned him with my eyes. I wished I could touch him, let him inside my head for reassurance. His eyes searched mine, dark and pained. He didn't want this for me. I_ didn't want this for me. _

But I would do it, for _him_. _Anything_ for him.

Edward's shoulders slumped a little, his eyes dimming with a resigned cast.

Taking a deep, centering breath, I turned back to Aro and steeled myself. "I'll do it." Tyler's death was inevitable — and I could at least make it quick. Who knew what the others would do?

Aro raised an inky black brow, making himself look even more like a cartoon villain. "_You_ would do it?"

"Yes." I hoped he didn't notice the way my voice trembled a little.

"What is everyone talking about?" Tyler wailed, "Bella, please, don't let them hurt me. I know I was an asshole, but –" His pleas cut off on a shriek as Jane hit him with a little dose of her pain laser.

"Silence, human," she said sweetly, grinning down at him with a menacing glare. This chick was just like the Bride of Chucky — with sharp teeth instead of shiny silver knives.

"You, a righteous _Cullen_, would _kill_ a human?" The laugh that followed floated in a high-pitched lilt worthy of the queen bee of drag queens. Disbelief rife in Aro's voice, he asked, "Are you even allowed to do such a thing?"

Hell, I didn't even know, but it was only once. To protect the way we wanted to live.

"Yes," I whispered, knowing Aro could hear me while Tyler could not. I could make it quick… right? _I can just snap his neck and it will all be over..._

"Bella, please, don't," Edward asked, one last time. "I'll do it."

I knew I could never let him take that responsibility. He'd told me how hard it had been when he'd stopped drinking humans… what if just one more human death pushed him over the edge?

Meeting Edward's eyes, I lifted the shield once again. _Let me do this for you. For _us._ Please._ His lids dipped closed in resignation, and I prayed he'd be able to forgive me for what I was about to do. I could do it, just this once.

For my family.

"Now, let Edward go," I said, glaring at Felix.

With a sadistic grin, he tightened his grip on Edward's neck, making him cry out with a pained groan that I felt deep in my gut.

Anger speared through me like a white-hot sword, making me clench my teeth. "Let him go," I repeated with a growl.

Aro smiled, his body language giving the appearance of boredom, while his eyes glinted with a mixture of curiosity and anticipation. "Felix will release him when the deed is done."

I fixed him with a stony glare. "I have your word?"

Aro shrugged. "Why would I lie?"

"Good question," I growled.

The glint in his cold, red eyes intensified. "There _is_ one stipulation."

My jaw clenched so hard that I could probably grind a diamond to dust between my teeth. "Name it."

"You can't do this, Bella!" Edward struggled again in Felix's grasp as he heard what was in Aro's mind, but when a fine web of cracks began to spread up from his neck, he stilled, eyes fixed on mine. "Don't do this," he pleaded again in a strained whisper. "Let me, _please_."

"Do you not trust your mate?" Aro questioned, obviously enjoying Edward's pain and my barely-concealed trepidation.

"You know I do," Edward growled. "I just don't want to put her through this."

"Can you two please clue me in? Maybe let me make my own decisions?" All this cryptic discussion was driving me insane.

Aro sighed in amusement. "My dear, sweet Isabella... don't you know? You cannot simply dispose of our guest any way you choose." He paused for what seemed like an eternity, that smarmy, confident grimace of a smile painting his lips. "If we're to let you go, you must prove your loyalty. In essence, the human must be disposed of in the... shall we say... _traditional_ way."

My throat exploded in a maelstrom of white-hot fire at his words. Venom flooded my mouth so quickly that it trickled from the corners of my lips. Red bled into the corners of my vision and a snarl leapt from my throat, the monster that lived deep inside me ready to wrest control from my brain.

_Can I do this? Will I take one taste and forever crave the nectar of my natural prey?_

I honestly wasn't sure.

With a taunting lilt to his words, Aro glanced at Caius and mused, "I believe young Bella is not quite as adverse to the idea as she'd have us believe."

Steeling myself, I curled my hands into fists at my sides. "I'll do it." My voice didn't even waver. I'd never been more grateful for my shield – Aro had no way of knowing how close I was to falling apart inside. He couldn't know how terrified I was.

Something akin to a sob rose from Edward's chest, his eyes full of such agony that I had to turn away. Would he forgive me for this? What if he couldn't? But I couldn't think about that right now – right now, I had the ability to save my mate, and that's exactly what I'd do. At any cost.

I took a deep breath and faced down Aro's steely, challenging glare.

Aro simply raised one brow and fixed me with a condescending smirk.

Marcus stepped in, frowning at Aro. "The girl told you she'd do it, Brother. Let her prove it."

Absolute confidence stamped over his face, Aro said nothing for a long moment, and then he shrugged. "Very well. If she can follow through on her promise, her mate's debt will be satisfied."

Marcus nodded. "You have our word on this."

Caius said nothing, but dipped his head in agreement.

My eyes darted back and forth between the brothers. I had no choice but to accept their word as truth. I knew what I had to do. Avoiding Edward's pleading gaze, I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. I would do this, and I would do it with _mercy._

I hoped.

In one blink to the next, I was directly in front of Tyler. With a sneer, Jane released him, stepping back behind Aro. Weak and sweating, Tyler looked up at me like I was his personal savior. Knowing that he thought I was there to rescue him caused a physical pain — one that was almost more powerful than the scorching waves of heat that wouldn't leave my throat. We hadn't parted on the best of terms, but he didn't deserve _this_.

I hadn't been this close to a human since my change. And it was so much worse than I imagined.

I didn't want to be a monster, but that only made it worse. I had a conscience. Someone would die at my hand — or rather, _teeth_ — tonight.

"It will be better this way, Tyler," I whispered, but I wasn't sure if it was to reassure him or myself. I had no way to know if it would or not. Barely a fledgling, I couldn't be sure I'd be more merciful than one of the others — not because I wanted to play with my food, but because I didn't know if I could control my urges once I finally tasted human blood.

"Bella, please…" Edward's voice was filled with pain, like he could feel the raging forest fire that sizzled in my throat. "Don't," he finished in a broken whisper.

Our gazes locked, and I swore I could feel his touch from across the room. I shook my head. "It has to be me."

I knew he'd do anything for me, but it was my turn to prove I'd do anything for him.

Everything else faded away — Jane's expression of devilish glee, Marcus's apathetic, sad stare, even Aro's avaricious glare.

Tyler flinched beneath my grasp, eyes darting around the room. "What's going on? Please?"

I could hear the trembling in his voice, feel it beneath my fingertips. "I'm so sorry. It's better this way," I repeated, swallowing back the venom that threatened to spill out of my mouth like so much drool.

My lips tingled with it.

"What do you mean?" he asked, panicking. His heart beat even faster and his breathing sped up even more, the sounds of both echoing in my ears.

The scent of him sang in my nose like the sweetest perfume.

The wet thump of his pulse thrummed through my veins like it was my own. And soon it would be — forever absorbed into my icy, undead flesh.

I had no choice. Save Edward, or save Tyler. It wasn't a choice at all – Tyler didn't have a chance.

The moment my teeth breached his skin, I was gone.

There was no more Bella, no more Edward, no more _anything —_ aside from the taste of pure euphoria that passed my lips. I drank and drank, endless moments stretching out, piling one atop the other until I was almost drowning in a river of delicious, red elixir.

A strange chorus built into what could only be the soundtrack to a horror movie as the prey fought against my iron grip, screaming in pain and terror, howling the cries of someone who knew he was about to die.

"Snap his neck, Bella!" Edward's voice was so far away… why was he here?

The human struggled beneath my grasp, bones breaking beneath the force of my grip. He wasn't Tyler anymore, wasn't a person — just _food_. He ceased to be human, and I lost whatever part of me used to be one.

Power bubbled through my veins, blood burning with an effervescence that had me soaring higher than a satellite. I drew and drew on the bite, greedily sucking down every drop it had to offer. When the wound began to clot, I bit again, moaning at the taste of fresh, hot blood pumping into my mouth once again.

Useless fingers clawed at any part of me they could reach, glancing off of my diamond-hard skin like feathers. Weakening legs kicked at my shins, grappled for purchase on the cold, slick floor. None of it mattered.

All the while, the sound of a dying heart beat faster, harder, driving that sweet, precious fluid right down my waiting throat.

It was everything I'd ever wanted and more. Like I'd been starving until this very moment. Nothing would ever suffice now that I'd tasted it. How could I go back?

"Bella!"

I ignored the voice calling my name in favor of the feast in front of me. The symphony of power and flavor that washed over me with every swallow, timed in perfect rhythm with that racing heart.

All too soon, the beat of that wondrous heart slowed, the prey in my arms stopped moving, and finally… there was one last _thud…_

And the fountain ran dry.

A rage enveloped me, coating my vision with black. I threw the body across the room, not even cringing when I heard the sickening crack of bones as it hit the wall.

I just wanted more.

More.

"MORE," I shrieked, scanning the room for prey.

"You can have it, Young Bella," Aro whispered, coming up behind me. "Join us."

I whirled, wrapping my fingers around his neck. "Give it to me!" I snarled, squeezing hard enough to see his eyes bulge out as microscopic cracks creased his papery skin. "NOW!"

Large, inescapable fingers curled around my neck, and I found myself caught in an even more impenetrable grip. "Let. Him. Go."

"Let him go, Bella!"

Everything snapped back to reality, and Edward was standing beside me as Felix held me still, ready to rip my head off — should I move on Aro, he'd tear my head from my shoulders faster than I could blink. Lungs caving in on a powerful sob, I let my hand fall from Aro's neck and slumped against Felix's hold. He threw me to the ground, and I skittered across the floor like a pebble over a glassy lake. I didn't even try to protect myself. Marble chipped and flaked beneath my skin.

_What have I done?_

My eyes zeroed in on Tyler's crumpled body, lying broken and mangled, inches from my face. "Oh, God… Oh, Godohgodohgod!"

Suddenly I was in Edward's arms, cradled against his familiar body. I fought against his embrace, because not even the overwhelming, relieved feeling of being in his arms — of _home_ — could cancel out the guilt, the weight of what I'd done.

I could never go back… could I?

Could I go back to drinking animals? To such a poor substitute for the ecstasy I'd found in those fleeting moments with my true prey?

My eyes snapped to Edward's, which were nearly black with pain, anger and anxiousness. "I can't go back," I squeezed out between shuddering breaths. "I need more!" Violent thoughts streamed through my head, each one a bigger bloodbath than the last. I was ready to slaughter an entire town just to satisfy my thirst.

"You've got to, Bella," he whispered. "I can't do this alone. Please, come back. Come back to _me._"

Even though I was virtually pulsing with power, I'd been completely open to him, shield down and thoughts plain. I couldn't keep anything from him… couldn't _live_ without him… ever. Edward was my mate, my forever. My home was where he was.

And that was worth more than drinking a thousand — no, a million — humans.

I took a deep, calming breath, reining in the energy that pulsed from every pore. I had done this to save my mate. Not because I wanted it. I'd never wanted to be a monster — but I became one for Edward. Only for Edward. Relief began to mingle with the guilt that ran thick through my veins, and I started to relax. Icy, numbing calm crept through my body, letting my mind distance itself from the past few minutes.

I finally found my voice again. "It's over," I whispered shakily, leaning into his embrace. "I'm okay."

He simply held me tight, body rocking mine slightly, head buried in my neck. I mirrored his position and we took comfort in each other… until Aro's oily voice intruded.

"Your transgressions have been forgotten, young Edward, but not quite forgiven. Your mate might have dispensed with the… _problem,_ but I'm afraid I cannot let you leave without a price." He turned his blood-stained, cold eyes toward me.

Anger churned in my gut. Drawing myself out of Edward's arms, I faced Aro. "I did what you asked," I said through clenched teeth, "Now it's time for you to return the favor."

"As I said, there is a price." He spoke over me as if he hadn't heard my protest. "That price is a century in the guard."

"No!" I burst out, stalking forward, "You can't do that! You promised!"

"Bella!" Edward hissed, grabbing my elbow. "Stop."

Aro smiled. "I only promised I wouldn't kill him, my dear." Eyes going cold, he scanned me from head to toe. "Consider yourself lucky after that display of yours. Perhaps you'd do well to experience the discipline of a century in the guard along with your mate."

It took all I had to keep my mouth shut. I let Edward drag me back against his body, drawing on his strength to calm myself down.

Satisfied, Aro turned his attention back on Edward and continued, "You must remain here in the city – preferably, here in the castle – for the next one hundred years. When I have need of your particular talents, I expect you to be available to me." He clasped his hands together in front of his chest and sighed happily. "Of course, you're welcome to stay here with him, Bella. And I do hope you might change your mind about joining us. After all, what's a mere century when one is immortal?" Chuckling, he added, "What is it the humans say? 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?'"

I'd had enough. What more would I have to do to convince these crazies that I wasn't a threat? I'd already killed a human for them, completely obliterated one of my most sacred promises to myself. Why should I sit back while these people — whom I didn't even know — decided my fate?

I didn't need protection. There was still a good chance I was one of the strongest vampires here. And with the effects of all that human blood coursing through my system, I would be even more powerful. With that thought in mind, I reached out for Edward and grabbed his wrists, ready to make us both disappear.

"Don't, Bella!" Edward shouted, but it wasn't just his voice that stopped me.

"Wait!" Another voice called out from behind the shadows of the great doors. Alice stood in the doorway, Jasper a step behind her.

Forgetting the shield, I sucked in a shocked breath. "How did you know?" I whispered. I'd never been so glad to see Alice. Who'd have thought?

With a brittle smile, she tapped her temple.

Turning to Edward, she said, "This is my reparation, Brother. My apology for taking away your freedom. I can only hope it's enough." She walked right up to Aro, hand extended. "Alice Cullen. Clairvoyant extraordinaire." With a cocky smile, she added, "Imagine what you could achieve with me in your employ."

With an expression that bordered on rapture, Aro took her fingers in his, bowing his head. His lids lowered, eyes flickering back and forth beneath them, like he was dreaming. He swayed, bliss smoothing the papery lines of his face.

"Amazing," he breathed, glancing between Alice and Edward. "But why should I give them up, when I could have all three of you — a mind reader, a seer, _and_ a shield?"

They stood there, locked in silence, Aro's creepy eyes darting back and forth as he processed the information. Edward gasped, stricken. He edged closer to me, as if seeking comfort. Whatever he saw, I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know.

"There is such a thing as too much power, Aro," Alice whispered. "Would you risk it, knowing what could happen? _I _am willing. Edward and Bella are not. Look again."

Aro's red eyes widened, first in what looked like joy, and then in what was definitely horror.

Edward jerked me behind his body as he cried out, "No!" He and Jasper formed a wall in front of me, sparking a rush of anger that burned through my chest.

I pushed my way between them, only to give in when Edward urged me back, panic blazing in his eyes.

"What's going on?"

No one said anything for a moment that stretched out impossibly, and then…

"She'll be the death of us all!" Aro hissed.

Murmurs of fear and disbelief rippled throughout the chamber, piercing the heavy silence like diamond-hard blades.

"The end will be the same no matter what you choose, Aro," Alice told him calmly, then shrugged. "Unless you make the right choice. Accept my bargain and let Edward and Bella go."

Aro's eyes glowed like red-hot coals in his ash-pale face. "You lie," he hissed. Alice tried to pull her hand from his, but he held on so tight I heard a few creaks.

"Do you think I could fool you? Why would I even try?" she asked, playing on his arrogance. "I'm only trying to help you — with a century of Jasper and I by your side, you'll amass riches and power like you've never imagined. Are you willing to risk all that for a simple shield and her mind reading mate?"

"Think about it, Aro. Your avarice will destroy everything you've built here," Jasper said quietly, his deep voice startling me. It was the first thing he'd said here, though I wondered if he'd been helping in his own, silent way, by projecting a calming influence to the rest of the room.

Stiffly, Aro released Alice's hand, allowing her to step back into Jasper's arms.

Aro cleared his throat and swallowed, the nervous gesture oddly human. "It seems we are done here," he murmured. "Marcus? Caius?" he questioned, without looking in their direction.

Marcus simply nodded, acknowledging the strength and truth of Alice and Jasper's loyalty.

Caius sighed in what looked like extreme boredom. "I grow tired of this. It's worse than a human soap opera. Let us be done."

"I shall expect you two in my office tomorrow evening," Aro said stiffly. Alice and Jasper nodded. Turning to address Edward and me, he added, "There are stipulations."

A long glance passed between them, and then Edward nodded.

"Yes, Aro." Edward said nothing else, just took my hand, and I knew he'd explain everything to me later.

"You may go." Aro waved his hand, and we were dismissed.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough, but as soon as we started toward the doors, he called, "And Edward? No more mistakes."

Edward looked back and nodded solemnly. "No more mistakes."

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* * *

Whoa. Let me have it. What do you think? Will everything go smoothly from here?

My story He Said, She Said is up for Top 10 Completed Fics of December 2013. Today's the last day to vote, if you feel like it. I'd love you forever. You can do it here: twifanfictionrecs DOT com / 2014 / 01 / 01 / vote-for-your-top-ten-completed-fics-december-2013 /

There's also a link in my profile, if that's easier.

Have I mentioned how awesome I think you guys are? Your patience with this story (and ME) is astounding. So amazing. This story is for all of you.


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